Happy 25th Anniversary!

Tomorrow night is the first night of Chanukah. 

That is when 25-years ago, I first met and went out with my lovely wife, Dossy. 

I picked her up at work in mid-town, and wined and dined her at Ratner's on the Lower East Side in NYC.

We talked, laughed, and I couldn't take my eyes off her!

We ended the evening with her writing her phone number in lipstick on a little piece of paper, and she told me to call her again. 

I came home in 7th heaven, and my dad asked me how it went, and smiling ear-to-ear, I said "This is the one!"

My dad said, "It's the first night of Chanukah, the holiday of miracles, so please G-d!"

I think Dossy and I went out 2 more times just that week, and the rest is beautiful history.

Thank you Hashem for mercifully granting my lovely wife and two beautiful daughters, Minna and Rebecca. 

I appreciate every moment of every day with Dossy and my girls--for the precious time on Earth we have together, for caring when the chips are down, for celebrating the good times, and for putting up with me. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Happy 25th Anniversary!

I Couldn't Do It

No this isn't my car, but it's definitely old. 

So we were going to go sell one of our older cars tonight. 

One of the warning lights recently went on and when we took it to the dealer he told us it would be thousands to service it. 

After agonizing about it, we resigned ourselves to just getting rid of it and not investing anymore $$$ in an old car.

We went to the car to empty it and get it ready.

As I watched Dossy cleaning it out, all these memories started racing through my head--seeing Dossy behind the wheel as well the kids. 

Remembering all the good times we had driving here and there together. 

But this was Dossy's car and it was special to her and I knew it. 

I looked again at her and said, "I can't do it--let's just keep it."

She looked at me--and gave me the biggest smile. 

When we went back inside, she said to me, "You love me!"

And I said, "Of course, I do."

Now, we get the car fixed--some things you can't put a price on. 

P.S. Last week, she threatened to move out if I didn't agree to fix it. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

I Couldn't Do It

Footsies at Comfort One

So lately my feet have been hurting me. 

My wife tells me, "Go to Comfort One for new shoes."

I say, "But I don't want to go get nerdy shoes there."

Like in most arguments, my wife wins and in I march, reluctantly, to the store. 

First, they take this scan of my feet (something that looks like the picture above) to show me where my foot is getting pressure (and pain).

Okay, well I already know this, but when you see all the red on the picture, I guess it helps to scare you to getting an expensive new pair of orthopedic-like shoes. 

But first, they sell me on some arch supports that slides into the shoe...they seem to feel pretty good, and in fact, after walking around in them for a little while, I actually miss them when I finally take them off. 

Give me back those darn arch supports, will ya?

Next, we see these amazing Mephisto shoes (with "soft-air technology")...made in Europe...the salesman says, their built like a tank. 

My wife says, "Oh, my aunt told me to get those too!" We now have a bona fide endorsement. 

I pick up the shoe on display and it look like it is pretty rugged with all the right support for walking around...maybe I got to get over that it looks to me like old people shoes (from Haband). 

Hey, what do you want Andy--to feel good on your feet or to look like your 18 again. 

Okay, I try them on...with the arch supports inserted...and what do you know, I am walking a heck of a lot better.

Well, what about the price...holy crap, I can get 3 pairs of cool shoes at REI for one of these nerdy pairs. 

Oh darn it, I have no choice...I am walking better, especially with the hip surgeries from last year still looming behind me. 

I get the shoes, I get the arches...I pay the money--too much money!

I feel nerdy or so nerdy, but maybe I'm going for the healing power, G-d willing, of a good pair of supportive shoes. 

My wife was right again, and I hate to admit it, but please don't tell her I said so--it's bad for her ego and mine. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Footsies at Comfort One

The Hottest New Jewish Site

Just in time for the New Year you can shop at Jewish fashion site Hot Chani. 

"Sexy things for heimish girls."

Hot Chanis are modest and proper Jewish women who are still unbelievably sexy. 

You can truly be a "good Jewish girl" and feel and be gorgeous inside and out. 

Find your confidence, feel sexy, be beautiful, find love and romance...shop at Hot Chani.

Spice up your New Year and your life.

Be a Hot Chani! ;-)

(Source Photo: HotChani.com)

The Hottest New Jewish Site

Supreme Court Of People and Of Heaven

So yes, I am a firm believer in live and let live. 

That goes for long time friends that have actually converted away from our cherished Jewish traditions to friends or relatives that choose a gay or lesbian lifestyle--it's their choice!

And everyone has free choice to do what they think is right--that is the nature of free choice--if we weren't free to choose, then how could we be responsible for our choices?

But what I am confused about sincerely with the ruling of the Supreme Court of the United States in legalizing marriage for gays and lesbians is not the concept of where everyone is equal under the law, but the open contradiction with the Torah (Biblical) texts that I am familiar with since I was a child in Yeshiva:

1) Leviticus 18:22--"Thou shalt not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. 

2) Leviticus 20:13--"If a male lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death, their blood is upon them."

I understand that many advocating for gays and lesbians have explained these texts as no longer applicable today (ref: Huffington Post):

- That the Biblical passages "do not refer to homosexuality as we know it today" (i.e. those that are consensual, not cultic rites, etc. )

- That they "are conditioned by the cultural and historical realities of the authors" and one needs to consider the greater biblical context for G-d's love and caring of all. 

But looking at the strict text of these passages, they don't seem to read as conditional (there are no conditions identified), and for those that believe that the Torah is divine (written by G-d) and is timeless, then how do we reconcile it with our wanting to be loving and accepting of ALL people who aren't hurting themselves or anyone else?

Adding to the confusion, we read just this week about extremists like ISIS killing gays by brutally throwing them off of roofs and routinely about arch enemy Iran hanging them in the public square. 

Also going in my mind is the question of there being separation of church and state in this country, yet does legalizing gay and lesbian marriage affirm that separation or does it cross it by legislating against the strict scripture that many hold inviolate. 

Similar to the debate on abortion rights, these are where modern day-to-day issues and traditional religious teachings and values can be difficult to harmonize. 

I am truly happy for gays and lesbians that they can marry if they choose and find their happiness--everyone deserves this, but religiously, I am left unsure of how to reconcile this with the Torah as written. 

Can we think that we are free to choose the individual commandments we believe in or not or to find explanations where we don't understand them or they don't make sense to us--if so, how do we know we are doing what G-d wants of us or whether we are going astray?

In the end here the Supreme Court affirmed the right to choose and to respect all people under the law--this is fundamental to our basic beliefs in freedom, human rights, and love of our fellow man.  

But in so doing, will some see this as encroaching on G-d's law and if so, what is the impact to those that are deeply religious and/or hold strictly heterosexual marriage as sacrosanct?

Surely each person must follow the dictates of their conscience which G-d has granted us, but pitting the Supreme Court of us earthly beings potentially against that of Heaven--this is a truly tricky and slippery slope to understand and reconcile. ;-)

(Source Photo: Twitter @WhiteHouse)

Supreme Court Of People and Of Heaven

2 Heads And A House

My daughter took this photo on a trip to Spain. 

In America, in front of the McMansions, it is not atypical to see interesting statues (perhaps of lions or fantasy guard creatures), ancient fountains, and even modern art.

I thought this European house was unique with some busts of a man and woman on each side of the gate to the front door. 

Wonder whether these are actually supposed to look the owners or are just randomly funny.

Also, the color match the orange house and yellow entranceway sort of perfectly.

Either way, it makes you take a 2nd and 3rd look.

Why is the man bust smiling and the woman bust looking so miserable here (or is that just representative of what most "traditional" marriages are about)?

Wouldn't it be sort of funny if every home had busts or large photos or other representation prominently and widely displayed of the family inside. 

No more mystery of who lives there and more warmth and personalization. 

When you sell/buy property, you just have to take all of yourselves with you. ;-)

(Note: no idol worship please.)

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

2 Heads And A House

Best Animated Shoes

These are some very cool shoes--different!

My daughter found these on Youtube 

They are made by this unboring shoe company in the U.K. called Irregular Choice.

Walking on the back of a dragon cannot be a bad thing. 

Stepping alternatively on the bride and groom--maybe an interesting perspective on the ins and outs of marriage. 

They also have a neat pair of Panda shoes. 

Check these out, I think you'll look cool and really like it. ;-)

Best Animated Shoes

Learning To Compromise

My wife and I decided after living in the same condo for the last 15 years that maybe it was time for a change. 

There is a great area that we hang out in with workout, grocery, pharmacy, public transportation, and--most importantly to my wife--Starbucks--all right there.

So my wife made an appointment for us to look at this rental right above all the action....

The apartment was nice, modern, and best of all in this vibrant neighborhood--but on the smallish side (we would definitely be cramped) and with a substantial monthly. 

My wife, the perennial city dweller, loved it, and I didn't.

Next, my turn up, we went with a real estate broker to see a charm of a house--this was the one we'd "been waiting for," all these years. 

Solid, roomy, castle-like...but it would have some ongoing house maintenance things and was a little distance from public transportation (i.e. we'd mostly have to drive). 

This time, my wife hated it, and I loved it.

Back and forth--argue and debate--getting no where (this is a very egalitarian relationship--my wife tells me what to do!) :-)

Thinking about this, I say "Okay, let's compromise"--let's look for a more upscale and roomy condo that we can make our own but in the neighborhood she really likes (and yeah, I like it too). 

1-2-3, with a little searching, we find something online we like, and back to the real estate broker to make an appointment. 

This story is not over in terms of where (or if) we are going to move to, but along the way we continue to learn as a couple to get along, love each other, and of course, compromise. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Learning To Compromise

A Story Of Modesty

There was an very interesting article in the New York Times last month called "The Orthodox Sex Guru" that examined the life of Bat Sheva Marcus, an Orthodox Jewish Sex Counselor.

Yes, you can be a religious person, but also be sexual!

In Judaism, sex is not only a physical act of procreation, but also of love and intimacy between two people within the larger framework of personal spirituality and G-dliness in the home.

Judaism teaches that sexual relations is a holy act and a "blessing, a union full of Shekinah, of G-d's light." In this holiness, husband and wife, as true soulmates and beloveds, live each one for the other, and always together with Hashem.

Part of this special relationship entails women maintaining a spiritual modesty by physically covering up their femininity and behaving with propriety, especially in mixed company. 

Of course, men need to behave with sexual rectitude as well (although just not as often--just kidding).

The article describes however that with extreme chastity perhaps, some people may become constrained in their sexuality and develop almost a type of "sexual aversion," rather than healthfully being able to experience the natural joy of love that G-d provided for us. 

In terms of proper modesty, there is a beautiful story recounted, as follows: 

One time, when the Jews were being persecuted by the Cossacks, there was a Jewish girl that was to be "roped to a horse and dragged through the streets" to death.  

But before the verdict was to be executed, "she manages to pin or sew her skirt to her lower legs, stitching fabric to flesh," so that she could maintain her modesty even under these unbelievably tortuous conditions. 

It is an amazing story to think how someone about to face such a cruel and horrible edict could still think about maintaining their modesty and dignity in the face of such horror.

Whether you cover yourself with a tichel (headscarf), a sheitel (wig) or everyday hat, dress modestly, and act with decency, the point is to remember that we are G-d's children and are to behave in a manner befitting soulful beings, and not mere animals. 

We can experience the love and joy between people, and do it with devotion for each other and in spiritual connection to the Almighty. ;-)

(Source Photo: Minna Blumenthal)

A Story Of Modesty

Extra Special Delivery

I took this photo in Washington D.C. of a bicycle messenger delivery with Valentines Day treats.

He was carrying an assortment of balloons and gifts (those are hiding in the basket under the balloons)!

What do you think chocolate, flowers, or something even more romantic?

There is enough hate and hostility in the world. 

It's wonderful when love is in the air and people show each other that they really care. 

Going home from a day at work, and what can be nicer than someone waiting for you when you get there. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Extra Special Delivery

Size And Smell

So apparently data mining can be used for all sorts of research...

In the New York Times today, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz tries his hand with google search results to better understand people's feelings about sex. 

Though Stephens-Davidowitz doesn't explain how he gets these google statistics...here are some standouts:

As you might have guessed, the biggest complaint from men--and women--is that they don't get/have enough sex. 

For both (as you might imagine in a primarily--95%--heterosexual world), traditional surveys show that it's about once a week.

However, the author says this is exaggerated (yeah, is it surprising that people exaggerate about this?) and it's actually only about 30 times a year--or once every 12 days.

So there are a lot of search on "sexless" or "won't have sex with me."

Observing that "sex can be quite fun," he questions, "why do we have so little of it?"

And he concludes that it's because we have "enormous anxiety" and insecurity about our bodies and sexuality.

Again, you probably wouldn't need data mining to guess the results, but men's biggest worry is about their penis size, and one of women's most toxic worries--a "strikingly common concern"--is about the smell of their vagina.

For men, they actually google questions about genital size more often than they have questions about any other body part; in fact, more than "about their lungs, liver, feet, ears, nose, throat, and brain combined."

So much for health consciousness versus machismo pride. 

The funny thing is apparently women don't seem to care so much about this with only about 1 search on this topic for every 170 searches that men do on this. 

Surprising to most men, about 40% of the searches women do conduct on this topic is "complaints" that it is too big!

Not that size doesn't matter to women, but for them it's about the size of their breasts and butts--and again, bigger being generally considered better.

In this case, most men seem to agree. 

Another issue men are concerned about is premature ejaculation and how to make the experience last longer.

However, here women seem to be looking for information about half and half on how to make men climax more quickly on one hand, and more slowly on the other. 

Overall, men are from Mars and women from Venus, with lot's of misunderstanding between the sexes.

The conclusion from this big data study...everyone calm down and just try to enjoy each other more.

Amazing the insights we can get from data mining! ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Daniel)

Size And Smell

Something Everyone Cares About

This was a funny Facebook post by someone from Las Vegas.

He bemoans that there are no virgins left in Vegas.

I tell my wife what he said.

And she says, "Well what does he expect in Vegas?"

I say, "I'm not sure, but I think he might be married and has kids."

So my wife says, "Then why does he care?"

I think for a second and answer, "It's someone everyone cares about like global warming."

And we both started to crack up laughing.  

My wife ends the conversation with, "Andy, you are a funny guy!"  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Something Everyone Cares About

Just Two Pelicans Doing Their Thing

Today, we walked over to the pier and there were these two pelicans sitting there.

They let us walk right up to them and sit down on a stoop next to them--maybe two feet away only,

It was nice just sitting with Rebecca and watching these birds: they were scratching, clucking, shivering, dancing, taking in their surroundings, and wandering away together.

Felt really at peace and happy by the water, doing something so simple and basic. 

In a way just wanted this time to last forever. ;-)

Just Two Pelicans Doing Their Thing

Got Flashed

Crazy day...true story.

I was going out to lunch in Washington D.C. today minding my own business...

When two young women were coming down the block in the opposite direction.

As they got closer, they started to giggle...

And then all of a sudden, at point blank range, one of them lifts up her skirt.

Both of them crack up and run off. 

I am not often left speechless, but this was definitely a new one on me. 

Let's just say, my wife told me that I have some "splaining" to do this evening! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Got Flashed

Walking Off Into The Sunset

My daughter snapped this photo of my wife and I while we weren't looking. 

When we got home my wife titled it "Walking Off Into The Sunset."

We both cried when we saw it!

So full of meaning...

Two people, different, but hearts and hands together.

Walking into the future, not sure where it is going to take us. 

Some day we'll be old, and we'll look back at all the times. 

Hopefully, all for the good, but always trying to make the best. 

We'll walk off into that sunset sometimes with tears, but always with joy. 

(Source Photo: Michelle Blumenthal)

Walking Off Into The Sunset

Happy Hebrew Anniversary

Today, I found out from my sister-in-law, Cheryl, that my wife's favorite doll as a child was a Raggedy Ann doll that she always carried around with her. 

(I'm the last to find out these things...)

She wrote isn't is funny that Raggedy Ann married Andy?

She ended with, "Is it odd or is it G-d?"

I think it must be both that we survived each other. ;-)

Happy Hebrew Anniversary to my wife!

(Source Photo: here with attribution to mypreciousmomentspro.com)

Happy Hebrew Anniversary

Happy Mother's Day To My Very Feminist Wife

Just want to wish my lovely wife a very happy Mother's Day. 

My wife is a big feminist!

She doesn't like to do too much cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. 

More for good 'ol hubby--me--to do.  

For example, today I am painting my daughter's room. 

I did the heavy lifting on this. 

Now my wife and daughter and doing the corners and touch up. 

Hey, it's all in a day's work for a modern-day husband. 

But I love my wife and family. 

Even if there's a little more for me to share in. ;-)

(Source Photo: Michelle Blumenthal)

Happy Mother's Day To My Very Feminist Wife

Radiating Goodness

So I met two amazing people today. 

The first was a lady with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  

She told me her story about how it was her 30-year anniversary this year. And she said she had been diagnosed with MS only one year after her wedding. 

She almost cried when she told me that her husband had stayed with her all these years she was sick. 

First, she had a nurse at home to care for her, and then when the demands were too much, she got into the nursing home and has been there since May, which she said wasn't a long time and that it was good there. 

Talking with her, I was amazed at how good an attitude she had for someone that had suffered so much and for so long. She was also an incredibly nice person and said how lovely some of the other patients looked today and that they should eat something to keep up their strength. This lady was truly inspiring.

The second lady I met was a private nurse for one of the elderly patients in the home. 

She sat at lunch between the old lady she took care of and the other woman with MS. 

Yet even though she was privately paid by the elderly lady, I was amazed that when she wasn't caring for the old lady, she took the time and effort to care for the MS lady, whom she otherwise had nothing to do with. 

In fact, she was alternating in feeding one and then the other. Also, making conversation with everyone else at the table asking how they were, taking pictures with her iPad mini (she found a place that sells them for only $79!) and saying how happy her patient was looking today and making her smile (even though the patient seemed unable to even speak). 

It was truly amazing to see the caretaker generally caring for others, not just for the money or because it was her job, but rather because she could help and really wanted to.

I'll tell you, there are still good people out there--some almost angels. And when you find them, it is a miraculous experience. You can almost see G-d in them. Like the physical world is just an illusion, but these eternal souls are what's real--radiating goodness to every soul they touch. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Radiating Goodness

What True Love Means

A Walk To Remember--what an absolutely amazing movie.

This girl with a beautiful soul, Jamie, turns around the life of this lost boy, Landon. 

She warns him not to fall in love with her, but he does. 

She reveals that she has Leukemia and is no longer responding to medicine. 

Landon is head over heels for her and marries her despite the prognosis. 

They enjoy one summer of love before she passes. 

But she has changed his life forever. 

I cried like a baby at this one. 

It was a movie of faith, love, and turnaround--it made me believe again. ;-)

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude of selfish. It does not offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - Nicholas Sparks

What True Love Means

Uh-Oh Trouble

So I'm "middle age"...and all of a sudden the last few months I am having trouble reading.

I haven't worn glasses for over 14 years--since I had the Lasik procedure done. 

Now, at the optometrist, he tells me, "Oh everyone ends up getting glasses whether you had Lasik or not."

He says: "Usually, people need reading glasses starting between the ages of 42-45."

Crud...back to those darn things again. 

I remember in 1999 when I had Lasik, it was still a pretty new procedure, but my best friend and his wife had just gotten it and convinced me to go for it too.

Well, it wasn't what I expected and when they clamped my eye open and the doctor tells me to stare at a the little red light as the laser comes up to my eye...I was thinking to myself...this is NUTS!

But it actually went from bad to worse. 

As the doctor starts working on the first eye, all of a sudden, he goes, "Uh-oh!"

What type of doctor is this that says oh-uh, and what in G-d's name did he do to me. 

Well, he composes himself after pulling away and finishes, but then stops and says he'll talk to me afterwards. 

As it turns out, as he pulled on the eye, something called the epithelium, a piece suddenly flaked off the eye. 

Nothing seriously actually happened--no ill sides effects, but those 2 words while under the laser, "Uh-oh," really sent the shivers up my spine. 

Let's just say, while I am glad I didn't have to wear glasses these last 14 years, the experience was a little traumatic.  

I remember one other time in my life--when I experienced the Uh-oh moment--this time, I was actually the one uttering the Uh-oh. 

It was right after I got married, and we had this cool idea that I would give my wife a haircut.

So, I start cutting and I'm thinking hey, this isn't so hard...and it's fun...and we also get to save money (hey, we were just starting out in life). 

Then, I keep cutting and cutting not realizing how much I was taking off...at one point, my wife starts getting antsy and she says, "So how's it going (knowing that something wasn't right)?"

Then it hits me, I suddenly blurt out the big "Uh-oh! 

My wife goes, "What did you do?"

Of course, I started to worry and couldn't get myself to really say and instead I just start cracking up. 

Then she knew I had really messed up...and boy was I in trouble then.

Uh-oh is a phase you never want to hear or say...it means trouble has arrived. ;-)

Uh-Oh Trouble