Showing posts with label Individuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Individuality. Show all posts

December 18, 2021

The Surprising Secret To Becoming Your Best

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "The Surprising Secret To Becoming Your Best."
Even while we are each different and should become our best selves, we still all need to make sure we are driving towards good healthy goals.
There is no one-size-fits-all mold for us. Hashem has a destiny in mind for each of us, and we need to find out what that is and work to become it. As parents, we need to see our children for who they are and not who we may want them to be. Truly, it’s a blessing to be able to be ourselves! As long as we and they are doing good in the world and by our Creator, we are each and everyone on solid Jewish ground.

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

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April 3, 2021

He Ain't Heavy

Reminds me of the song:

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother!"

For some reason, I remember the children back in the day (I grew up at the height of the feminist movement) saying instead: "She's my brother."

I used to think what the heck did that mean?

20/20 hindsight, but I guess a spoof on gender roles already many moons ago. 

Now I hear identity as he, she, ze/zir.

Either way, the person ain't heavy.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


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May 27, 2020

The Nail That Stands Out

So everyone knows what happens to the nail that stands out...

It gets hammered down!

Deviation from the norm or the groupthink is met with a resounding klop on the head. 

You conform or you face the guillotine. 

Way too dystopian. 

Freedom, individuality, diversity, self-expressionthese are the engines of innovation and growth. 

If every nail gets hammered down, you have a society that implodes with inbreeders and Stone Age stale ideas. 

Tradition is one thing, a closed mind is something that is an extinction level event. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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August 27, 2019

Selling By Customer Stereotypes

Saw this displayed on the wall inside a Free People clothing store...

It categorizes their female shoppers into 4 types:

1. Candy (hearts): Sweet, girly, flirty, whimsy, and femme  

2. Ginger (cherries): Sexy, confident, edgy, attitude, and mysterious

3. Lou (baseball): Cool, tomboy, laid back, tough, minimal

4. Meadow (sunshine): Flowy, bohemian, embellished, pattern, worldly

So this is how they stereotype their customers "to be helpful"?

Interesting also that they don't see that people can be complex with: multiple traits that cross categories or even in no category at all.

Moreover, people can have different sides to themselves and reflect these in different situations. 

Perhaps in an effort to market and sell more, what they've done is reduce people to these lowest common denominator of idiot categories.

And what makes this worse yet is that it seems to be based just on snap judgment of how someone looks coming into the store and all the biases that entails. 

How about we look at people a little more sophisticated than this and treat them as individuals, with real personalities, and not just as another empty label?  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 2, 2019

On Taste And Smell

Just wanted to share this saying (translated from Hebrew) that I like:
On taste and smell, there is no argument.

What tastes or smells good or bad to one person versus another is not up for debate. 

Each person has their own taste buds and odor senses.

Some people may be more or less sensitive to different tastes and smells. 

So there is no arguing there.

You either like or you don't like. 

That's your prerogative!

Don't make a big stink about it. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 8, 2017

Bad Boyz

Bad boyz, bad boyz what you gonna do?

When the bad boyz come to hurt the girls.

The bad boyz better watch out. 

Feminism is alive and well. 

Women are individuals full of rights and fights. 

No one will take away what is theirs by G-d given creation of their soul and body. 

Whoever tries to is destined to the dustbins of history. 

Bad boyz, bad boyz...better recognize that women are people too.

And they are smart, resourceful, powerful, and good. 

Sugar and spice and everything naughty and nice. 

911, 911, 911...take this bad boyz away.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 4, 2017

There's No Shield Against Loneliness

Loneliness is empty, hollow, a panicky void, and depression. 

It's like being in the ocean and feeling so small in its massive depths...almost like drowning. 

In the end, you are alone in the universe. 

No one can truly feel your pain or joy or experience all of you.

You're a world unto yourself. 

You connect and form relationships with others--there is learning and growth and love and caring in that. 

Talking and reaching out and being part of someone and something washes away parts of those scary feelings and creates a greater purpose of being and meaning. 

But there is also silence and solitude and the darkness of the night. 

And in that there is just the faith in G-d Almighty. 

He alone is what comforts us as we stare into the vastness out there as well as the evil and loss that we come face-to-face with and combat in life. 

The soldier girds his sword for battle and carries a shield to protect himself.

But there is no shield for the loneliness we experience in life and ultimately in death itself. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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January 4, 2016

A Person's Beauty

I took this photo yesterday of a mannequin that shows off her hair. 

It's amazing what hair does for a person.

I remember learning in Yeshiva that hair is considered the crown on a person's head. 

People go through all sorts of time and expense to keep their hair, grow it out, clean it, and style it.

Often not having hair means that person is sick and on heavy doses of medication or chemotherapy that makes their hair fall out. 

People put on wigs or other heads coverings for religious piety, modesty, and to consecrate themselves to G-d and/or their beloved--so that only they should see it--as something special between them. 

Sometimes, a person's hair is cut off to dehumanize them like the Nazi's did to the Jews and as happens to other prisoners. 

Also, when people go to the military, they are given a crew cut to take away their hair and individuality while they learn to conform and be obedient to their chain of command. 

Often in fights, people grab and pull a person by their hair to control and hurt them. 

But mostly, hair is soft, sensual and looks good on a person (except when it doesn't)--generally it evokes youth, vibrance, freedom, and sexuality. 

Of course beauty is only skin deep, but the hair is truly the majestic crown that G-d gave us. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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December 19, 2014

Cool Cat

So yesterday I was coming home from the fitness center/pool.

I was wearing shorts and pool shoes even though it was only in the 30's-40's temperature out. 

This large man with a Texas accent stops me to ask how I can dress like that around Winter time.

And it's particularly funny, because there is another man overhearing this conversation next to us wrapped up in no less than 2 coats/layers.

So I say in a lighthearted way "I guess that I just have warm blood, so the temperature doesn't really bother me."

He says, "Uh, in Florida, when it goes into the 60's, people start shivering and bundling up down there."

I smile, and say "Well maybe we're just different people."

Then he goes, "I like that--I like people that think different! You know why, [and he pauses and repeats again] you know why?"

I look at him sort of eyes wide open at this point waiting to hear his explanation to the build up. 

And he says, "Because it means they don't give a sh*t what other people think!"

At that point we both started nodding and laughing. 

Maybe you had to be there, but I think you can probably envision this sort of nutty scene.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 2, 2013

Decision-Making WIth Perspective, Please.

An article in Fast Company (1 April 2013) by Chip and Dan Heath tells us to use the 10/10/10 rule for making tough decisions.

That is to consider how you will feel about the decision in 10 minutes, in 10 months, and in 10 years--in order to "get some distance on our decisions."

But this doesn't make a lot of sense to me, if you are making a decision, looking at it with 3 future lenses does not provide a lot of additional insight even if they are at various points in the future. 

What makes a lot more sense is to examine the decision based on past, present, and future consideration. 

Past--At home, I learned from my father that when he makes a big decision, he thinks about what his father would've have done in a similar situation. My dad greatly respected his father, and believes that he is a guiding force in his everyday life. It is important to consider what our parents, grandparents, and other people that we respect from our past would do in similar circumstances--this is a social view. For example, would your parents and grandparents be proud of your decision and what it represents for you as a person or would you feel ashamed and guilty, if they found out. This is not to say that you can't express your individuality, but rather that your past is one important guidepost to consider.

Present--In operational law enforcement and defense environment, I learned that you have to respect the decision-maker at the frontline. The details of what is happening or the ground in the here and now can certainly be a decisive factor in both split second decisions, but also those decisions where we have some luxury of contemplation--this is an operational view. Additionally, in making a big decision, we need to be true to ourselves and base the decision on our values and beliefs (i.e. who we are). In contrast, when we make decisions that violate our core beliefs, we usually regret it pretty quickly. 

Future--In Yeshiva, I learned to strongly consider the future in all decision-making. The notion that this world is just a corridor to the future world was a frequent theme. From this religious perspective, what is important in how we live our lives today is not the immediate pleasure we can get, but rather what the future consequences will be on our spirit/soul (i.e. Neshama)--this is a strategic view. One teacher exhorted us to always look at things from the future perspective of our death bed--will you feel you lived your life as a good person and in a fulfilling way or did you just do what felt good or was selfish and fleeting? For example, he said, "No one ever looked back and wish they spent more time working. Instead, they usually regret not spending more time with the family and true friends."

Decision-making is not trivial--you need to consider carefully what you do, with whom, when and how. To do this, looking at 3 points in the future is minimally helpful. Instead, consider your past, present, and future, and you will make better decisions that will enable you to be true to yourself, your family and community, and your very soul. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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