Showing posts with label Avoidance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Avoidance. Show all posts

December 30, 2019

Oh Deer!

So you really don't want a deer ending up on the grill of your car. 

Not good for the deer (dead meat!) and not good for your car. 

My daughter and son-in-law just gave me Deer Warning Whistles. 

They are supposed to emit ultrasonic sound waves that warn the deer away. 

Anything that keeps the deer away is welcome in my neck of the woods. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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October 26, 2019

Don't Trust Your Gut Alone

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called, "The Snake That Appeals To Your Gut."

The truth is, following one’s gut feelings alone is a way to avoid confronting or dealing with real data about what’s going on. While it’s true that information can be tough to get as well as to interpret, we certainly have to look not only at people’s words, but also at their deeds. We have to see them over an extended period of time, so we see whether there is consistency and if their integrity holds up under different situations and stressors.

We have hearts and minds and we need to make sure we are using both in making important decisions. Otherwise, see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil—and what do you think you are precisely going to get?


(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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September 15, 2019

Ghosting - How Rude!

So when I listen to the Kane Show in the morning on 99.5 FM, they frequently do this thing where they call someone to find out why they've ghosted their lover or friend. 

Invariably, it often turns out that there is someone else in that person's life. 

The person is usually either too scared to confront the other person or is just a cheater and doesn't want to tell the other person, instead wanting to "have their Kate and Edith too."  LOL

So "ghosting" is where the person just disappears, cuts off contact, or goes incommunicado. 

It's sort of an avoidance strategy. 

This leaves the other person not knowing what happened or why. 

It's like the line just goes dead between the two people.  

Sometimes, one person is clingy or forces themselves on another in which case, the other person may feel smothered, and therefore repels or wants to run in the other direction. 

Other times, how do you tell someone that you just don't like them anymore? 

Worse is if the person is cheating behind the other person's back, hiding it, and denying it--that's unforgivable!

When a person ghosts another, it's sort of like at work when someone get's marginalized. 

No one wants to give honest feedback to the other person, so instead for some people it's just easier to avoid them and the topic  altogether. 

I think the point is not to hurt other people. 

The question is how do you cut the strings with someone you don't like without getting into a huge, ugly confrontation?

Honesty is the best policy, and treating people the way you would want to be treated. 

But for some people who don't take no for an answer, it's understandable that you may just want to have the phone on busy signal or you attempt to break contact.

Relationships are tough, and when they go bad, ghosting without at least trying to end it nicely can not only be rude, but also it's chicken to break it off as a ghost, and not a person. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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March 11, 2016

Hey, Pay Attention

It's funny, when the way forward is uneven, broken, or fraught with danger, and someone just puts out a sign (and orange cone) warning you to be careful. 

Sure, it's the responsible thing to do--protect people from misstepping. 

But even with the largest, loudest warnings, there always seem to be some people who just go right ahead anyway and tempt fate--they step on that 2nd broken stair.

Maybe it doesn't give way (this time for this person) or maybe it does.

But they are too busy, too much in a rush, or too cocky to pay heed or else they like to play the odds--hey, what are the odds that something will actually happen to "me"?

The more cautious, perhaps smarter folks look for another way--using their ingenuity to go over, under, or around the obstacle in their path--in this case stepping over the broken 2nd step. 

Other may yet be deterred altogether and just turn backwards, giving up on their trek or just stop in their tracks like a deer in the headlights frozen by indecision.

I'd suggest that it is well worth it to take the time to look around you, sense the environment, and make a sound judgement before giving up or stepping stupidly into the ditch, minefield, quicksand, or on the broken step. 

It's much harder to get out of trouble than to avoid it to begin with. 

I joke with one of my colleagues that they always have time to do things a second time (always!), but because they are rushing, never enough time--or focus--to do it right the first one. 

Watch your step, because some of them of definitely broken. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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