Showing posts with label Swimming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swimming. Show all posts

February 6, 2024

Swan Boat

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

October 16, 2023

Goldfish Person

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

September 22, 2023

Red Octopus

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

September 10, 2023

A Bissel Humor

 
Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "A Bissel Humor."

In short, sometimes Jews can be so serious (and even a little miserable from circumstance, of course), and we can't always afford good therapy, so we use humor to cope and get along.

One of life's great lessons is to use words to make people happy and laugh whenever you can, to raise their spirits, your own, and even give the Almighty a good laugh or two as well.

(Credit Photo: cottonbro studio via https://www.pexels.com/photo/happy-couple-in-candlelight-4038287/)
Share/Save/Bookmark

May 28, 2023

Puerto Rico On The Rocks

(Credit Video: Andy Blumenthal)

Share/Save/Bookmark

May 14, 2023

Pool Lane Lines

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

May 9, 2023

Swimming By Nordstrom

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

January 8, 2023

Pop Culture Just Doesn't "Get" Us

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "Pop Culture Just Doesn't 'Get' Us."

Of course, when Jews are hypocrites, act holier than thou, or do bad things, they give the rest of us a bad name, and this can breed not only confusion about Jews but also, in the extreme, hate and anti-Semitism. One Chabad Rabbi said today that the Rebbe hardly ever used the word anti-Semitism or spoke of it; instead, he focused on the idea that Jews should do good and perform acts of G-dliness and righteousness in the world.

I believe we can all agree that Jews behave differently; sometimes they do good, sometimes they don't, but regardless, we're a little bit of a mystery to many non-Jews, which is sometimes shrouded in a large dose of fiction and conspiracy. For many, I put it this way: they still can't understand why the fiddler was ever playing on the roof to begin with.

(Credit Photo: ericbarns via https://pixabay.com/photos/dancing-clubbing-dancers-nightclub-206740/)
Share/Save/Bookmark

January 5, 2023

Big Swimming Smile

Eyes are from the swimming dumbbells.

Nose is the swim board.

Mouth is the swim noodle. 

That's a really great big swim smile!

(Credit Photo: Rebecca)


Share/Save/Bookmark

August 2, 2022

Fish of The Sea

Great fish of the sea. 

What an awesome puzzle by Ravensburger. 

So colorful, beautiful, and alive. 

The sea is teeming with gorgeous fish!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

June 8, 2022

Happy Chairs

These Margaritaville chairs are really happy. 

Sunshine, palm trees, swimming pool, and a nice cold drink on a hot day. 

The chairs say:

It's five o'clock somewhere.

But definitely not here in Florida where it's party all the time!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

May 5, 2021

From Point A To Point A+

I loved this lesson in endurance from Naji Ali in the Wall Street Journal today. 

Take it stroke by stroke.

Don't worry about getting all the way from point A to Z. 

Instead just focus on getting from point A to point A+.

Just take the first stroke and then another and another. 

Like one foot in front of the other. 

See how far you've come!

You're on the way to point Z but you don't have to drink the ocean in one gulp to get there. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

March 27, 2021

Staying Centered

So important to keep the mind centered.

I tried something new in the pool to tread water using the minimum energy.

At first, my body resisted and I started to flail with my arms and legs.

But then, I centered my mind and started to control my breathing.

My deep focused breaths raised my body above the water almost by itself.

My arms and legs relaxed and just was there for support.

It felt so good to be in a better state of self-control and mindfulness.

Always need to try and keep the mind still, centered, and in control of the body.

Focus, focus, focus!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

November 18, 2020

I'm Sure You Did

So I thought this was pretty funny at the pool this week. 

I am about to get into the swimming pool. 

A water aerobics class is letting out and a bunch of older ladies are on the way out of the water. 

One of them stops, give me a big smirk, and says:

"Don't worry we warmed it up for you!"

I thought for quick second, and said with a completely straight face:

"I'm sure you did!"

The joys of swimming life.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

November 15, 2020

Humming The Hatikvah

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called, "Humming The Hatikvah."

But as I walk in the water, feeling both the softness and purity of the beautiful water as well as the buoyancy and resistance of it, I think to myself that no Jews should not be familiar and know The Israel national anthem. After 2,000 painful years in exile culminating in the concentration camps like Theresienstadt and The Six Million murdered Jews, we all must know that now G-d has kept his promise to our forefathers and returned us to The Holy Land.

Assuredly, we are living in the time of miracles, the redemption, and soon to be the coming of the Mashiach. Now is the time not just to hum The Hatikvah, but to bring every Jew back, including me and my family. It’s almost time to go home, where we will sing and dance, with hearts brimming over with Joy, before our L-rd, and once again go to worship at our holy Temple in Jerusalem. May it be His will! Amen.

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)


Share/Save/Bookmark

December 1, 2019

Lifeguard Needs A Lifeguard

So I thought this was a funny story the lifeguard told me.

The guards are required to renew their lifeguard certification every two years. 

When I asked if he swims, he said "not regularly" and then when I asked if he exercises, he said half-jokingly: "I sleep, eat, and drink!"

But then he told me about the lifeguard exam and a couple of people who should've never been taking the test. 

One lady gets waist deep into the pool, and the proctor tells the lady to swim to the other side of the pool and back. Instead of swimming, she starts crying hysterically that she doesn't know how to swim!

Another guy was swimming funny with his arms flailing and his butt out of the water. When the proctor asked him what was up with that and to show him what was hiding under his trunks, the guy showed him that he was wearing an inflatable plastic band under his pants. 

Fail, fail, fail--these are life endangering guards, NOT "lifeguards!"  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Share/Save/Bookmark

November 19, 2019

Pool Poop Galore

So I was at the pool going swimming, doing my laps.  

It was very busy there with lots of people of all ages. 

All of a sudden, I hear some screaming. 

Then the guards come over and tell people they have to get out of the pool, pronto!

There's been an accident. 

No, not someone getting hurt.

Someone had a bathroom accident in the pool.

The director of the pool is going around explaining to the inconvenienced swimmers that:
"Someone pooped in the pool."

Not exactly an eloquent way to say it, but it gets the point across. 

What is worse, it was on the side of the pool where the adults were swimming!

Next come the lifeguards with the nets and they are literally scooping swathes of this sh*t out of the pool. 

I see it literally spans almost a half length of this olympic pool. 

What a crappin' mess. 

Luckily I got almost all my swim in--yes, I am dedicated!

And then took a long hot shower with tons and tons of soap. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Share/Save/Bookmark

July 18, 2019

When People Can't Admit They're Wrong

So he's a story from the pool today...

I'm doing my laps minding my own business.

And this guy gets to the pool, sits down, and immediately pulls out his cellphone.

Then he proceeds to literally yell into his phone for probably a good half an hour. 

I'm doing my laps and I can hear this guy yelling:

- At his end of the pool 

- ALL the way at the opposite end of the pool

- With earplugs

- AND even underwater

And he goes on and on and on. 

Doesn't stop for even a breath of air. 

Now, in all the years swimming, I've never had to approach someone about their behavior like this.

BUT this was too much as my head was pounding from his incessant yelling.

I waited until he finished his call. 

And it happened to coincide with me finishing my laps. 

I come out of the pool and grabbed my stuff. 

I have to pass him on the way out. 

And I'm still debating with myself whether this schlemiel is even worth it. 

My head is still throbbing from his yelling.

I stop in front of his chair. 

Now he's pulled out a book and is trying to read. 

I say:
Excuse me.
He knows he did something wrong, and he barely looks up, trying to ignore me. 

I say again:
Excuse me. Did you intend for everyone at the pool to hear your ENTIRE conversation?

He starts murmuring something, and then says throwing it back on me:
What's the problem?

So I say:
You were speaking so loud, I could hear you all the way on the opposite end of the pool.  I could even hear you under the water. 

He's agitating now and he says:
Well, I was speaking to someone 85-years old who doesn't hear well.  You get it?

So I say respectfully:
I am sorry that he doesn't hear well, but does everyone else here around the pool also need to hear the conversation? 

Then he says:
So what--I don't care if everyone hears.

I try one more time.
Do you see all these other people trying to read, rest, swim--do you at all care?

He still can't get himself to come around, and instead doubles down and says, 
Well. I'll do whatever I want!

Now, I've had enough, and I say:
So basically you don't give a shit for ANY of your neighbors, do you?

Finally, he must of been embarrassed enough at his terrible behavior, and he backs down and says:
Next time he calls me, I'll take the conversation inside!

At which point, he goes back to his book, and I complete my exit. 

It took all that just to get him to say he'll handle it differently next time and basically be respectful of his neighbors and not a selfish pig!

It's amazing--some people really just can't own up to when they are being a jerk.

But I was glad this guy finally came around--maybe there is still hope. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Share/Save/Bookmark

June 5, 2019

Swimming In Florida

In lovely Florida.

Hit the swimming pool.

About to do my laps.

I got my gear and ready to rock and roll.

Please G-d, we'll spend the Jewish holiday of Shavuot (commemorating when we got the Torah) together here as a family.

What more can I ask.

Happy and grateful. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dossy Blumenthal)
Share/Save/Bookmark

December 25, 2018

See You Later Florida

Love coming to Florida. 

Not a far flight.

Sun shines bright.

Water is blue. 

Birds, fish, and animals like a zoo. 

Nature is peaceful.

Shopping is plentiful. 

Activities day and night.

Swimming makes me feel right. 

Go to the beach.

Eat a peach.

Florida is the place to be.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Share/Save/Bookmark