Stupid Stupid Ties

So ties are an unfortunate part of a man's wardrobe. 

But while some ties may look nice (in a feminine type of way), for the most part they are nothing but a pain in the neck.

- Feels like a noose

- Looks like a dog collar

- Enforced as the yoke of oppression

- Constraining since a tie ties 

- Costs as much as $385 at Nordstrom

- Klutzy when oops!! it hangs out your fly

- Hazardous when caught in an office shredder. 

- Filthy when eating soup, spaghetti, etc. 

- Disgusting when bending over and it flops into the toilet

Some day fashion will grow up and ties will go the way of The Waltons, and even Goodwill will throw them unabashedly into the trash where they most rightfully belong.

(Source Photo: here with attribution to bark)

Stupid Stupid Ties

Kiss Me Where

OMG, so I had a major mess up last night. 

I go to a Sephardic synagogue and they have a custom of not just shaking hands, but kissing (not really) each other by sort of tapping each other first one cheek to cheek and then the other side. 

So this lady friend comes into shule (with her fiancee who walks away for a moment) while the dancing is going on with the Torah for the holiday, and she makes the signal moves for the cheek to cheek greeting to me.

But this whole custom is still sort of unfamiliar to me, and I mess it up big time!

I must've turned my head to the left when I should've turned right or something, and rather than end up cheek to cheek, I end up in this very awkward lip on lip kiss with her.

(Oh shit, that didn't just happen, did it?)

We both sort of jump backwards, and my wife is standing there in disbelief cracking up at the whole thing. 

This lady quickly turns away, and I quickly turn the other way, and I am just looking up at the ceiling thinking what did I just do. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Kiss Me Where

Yes, Awkward

This is a funny (-sad) one for the day.

This book was a New York Times Bestseller!

There is a book, a Kindle edition, a board game, a calendar, and a website to upload your photos.

On Amazon, there are also versions with awkward family holiday and family with pet photos.

I can't believe this is for real either. 

Awkward, indeed. ;-)

Yes, Awkward

Howie Mandel Was Right All Along

This was a really funny picture I saw exhorting people to wash their hands. 

If you don't, this little green slime creature is going to come and get you.

It reminded me of the other day heading into the bathroom, and I see this guy coming the other way out of one of the Stalls. 

He actually does head to the sink to the wash his hands--he's in the minority in this country, I understand. 

Well the sink is one of the automatic ones and has no faucets.

The guy sticks his hands underneath....nothing. 

He starts waving his (dirty) hands...and still nothing.

After the third try...he throws his hands up, looks at me, and says, "Now that's awkward" and proceeds to walk out the bathroom holding his hands literally at full arms length. 

I hoped that he didn't run into anyone he knows on the way and reached out to shake their hands--because they would've gotten a nasty surprise, indeed. 

This sign tells it the way it is--sorry folks. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Howie Mandel Was Right All Along