When Do You Honk

 

That's a telling bumper sticker for someone.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When Do You Honk

Dead but on Payroll?

If your sitting at your office desk, but are dead (inside or outside)...

Do you still collect a paycheck?  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Dead but on Payroll?

Anti-Dentite, Like Pulling Teeth

This is a hilarious statue of dentist using a pliers to pull out someone's teeth. 

Notice the dentist has his foot up to get some leverage to pull out the teeth, yikes!

I guess this is how things were in the "olden days."

No Anesthesia either! 

I'm sure in a hundred years from now, they'll look at our state of healthcare and laugh too. 

Progress is a great thing! ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Anti-Dentite, Like Pulling Teeth

Spuds and Suds

                         

Potatoes and trash, not a tasty combination. 

At least if you're gonna do this, don't show your customers! 

Maybe there's a rational explanation (as in "Lucy, splain dat to me!"):

The potatoes fell on the floor, and the broom and pan where there to clean them up.

Hey, once you peel them, what difference does it make anyway! 

Yeah, sure that works. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Spuds and Suds

Lifeguard Needs A Lifeguard

So I thought this was a funny story the lifeguard told me.

The guards are required to renew their lifeguard certification every two years. 

When I asked if he swims, he said "not regularly" and then when I asked if he exercises, he said half-jokingly: "I sleep, eat, and drink!"

But then he told me about the lifeguard exam and a couple of people who should've never been taking the test. 

One lady gets waist deep into the pool, and the proctor tells the lady to swim to the other side of the pool and back. Instead of swimming, she starts crying hysterically that she doesn't know how to swim!

Another guy was swimming funny with his arms flailing and his butt out of the water. When the proctor asked him what was up with that and to show him what was hiding under his trunks, the guy showed him that he was wearing an inflatable plastic band under his pants. 

Fail, fail, fail--these are life endangering guards, NOT "lifeguards!"  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lifeguard Needs A Lifeguard

Relax, It's Just Sex

Just thought this was a really funny-sad display in the window of this store in Tel Aviv. 

It says:

Relex It's Just Sex

Forget that Relax is spelled wrong. 

But advertising for sexual items in such a casual way...like it's sex and what's the big deal.

Maybe I am old school, where sex actually meant a deep personal relationship and emotional intimacy. 

...Where you partner was also your spouse and best friend.

Now--unfortunately--it's just sex!

I think as a society that we have lost something here. 

...Something important. 

If it's just sex, and it's just with anyone, then what does that leave for us with that someone truly special in our lives? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Relax, It's Just Sex

When The Wires Get Crossed

So the flight coming back from Israel was technologically challenged. 

I'm sitting toward the front of the plane...more room, that's good.

But there are a bunch of families with small children and babies...and that ends up being bad. 

The flight attendants bring out this contraption to hook up a crib device to a front wall of the plane for the parents to put the baby in to sleep. 

But there ends up being one small problem.

The overhead lights are seriously messed up.

This passenger with the baby tries to use his button next to his seat to turn the bright reading lights off--this is like row 10 or something. 

But when he hits the lights off button--instead the lights go off in row 22. 

And they stay on in his row keeping his baby awake and crying virtually the whole flight.

The stewardesses are going crazy trying to figure out where the "wires got crossed" here. 

When they go to row 22 and ask them to turn off their lights--thinking maybe that will turn off the lights in row 10 that is keeping the baby up and crying--but instead that turns off the lights further in the back of the plane in row 30-something. 

This was a really bad comedy going on this plane.

The baby keeps crying and crying.

The stewardesses keep running around trying to figure out how to get the lights working where they are supposed to be working.

And the parents are frustrated as hell trying to calm the baby and get some rest on this lengthy, cross-ocean flight. 

Needless-to-say, all the other passengers trying to get some rest weren't thrilled at this ridiculousness going on.

The plane got us home, but the electrical system didn't inspire any confidence and kept the baby (and us) up almost the entire flight. 

When you think that this was just the lights--oh boy!  

Because what if the wires had gotten crossed between something important like the accelerator and the brake instead?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When The Wires Get Crossed

Ever Feel Like You're Target Practice

Thought this was really spot on.

The knives get sharpened and readied. 

At some point, they come flying out of nowhere. 

Often, from all directions at the same time.  

When it rains, it pours. 

Some people latch on to the opportunity to try and make a kill. 

You do your best to duck this way and that and survive the onslaught.

Hopefully, you were adequately prepared. 

The big question is--can you hold unto your cheese? 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Ever Feel Like You're Target Practice

Check The Clock

So it should be so easy...

We manage time by the hours and minutes--and moments of life. 

This sign was hilarious though:

Breakfast 6 am - 10 am
Lunch 11 am - 2 pm
Dinner 4 pm - 7 pm
We are here to serve you any time.

Really, if you're here to serve us any time, then isn't that mean around the clock--24/7--and not just the total 10 hours listed?

What a ridiculous contradiction!

It reminded me of another crazy story of the person who when you ask what time it is, they tell you how to make the watch.

Yes, the point has definitely been missed by the other person.

Their explanation may be very detailed and even accurate on how to make a watch, but frankly they missed the point altogether, which was simply what time is it!

We need to pay attention to our communications and be honest and actually say what it is, and not beat around the 24-hour bush. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Check The Clock

How Men And Women Sit

This was funny-sad on the train in Washington, D.C. 

This couple--a man and women--are sitting together. 

The man (on the right) is completely sprawling out.

The women (on the left) is squishing almost off the seat.

So what is it with men--a testosterone, macho thing--exerting sexuality, power, and dominance--or it is just carelessness and callousness in how to treat women?

For women--is it reticence and modesty or are they accepting being mistreated or even abused? 

People's weight aside, it seems that men and women should each be given their own and equal space on the Metro or otherwise in life. 

This presumed gender power struggle is not a good thing--love should be equal in feeling, giving, and in time, and space. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

How Men And Women Sit

Come Back In A Month!

This is the crux of the problem with the verification clause in the Iran Nuclear WMD Deal.

In a nutshell:

"Can I check your suspected site for dangerous nuclear WMD?"

"No!"

"Ok, I'll come back in 24 days."

"Great, thank you--have a nice day."

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Chaim Haberfeld, Facebook)

Come Back In A Month!