Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts
November 19, 2024
September 1, 2024
Life is Full of Oohs and Ahs
These are collectively the ah-ha moments in life when we realize that oohs are often really ahs, and the ahs are frequently really oohs. As we head towards Rosh Hashanah, this is a good lesson that if we can take a step back to see the consequences of our actions, we need not be surprised by the iced bucket of water in the sauna anymore. We can work to make every moment ultimately meaningful and spiritual ahs in our precious pursuit of life and good.
(AI generated image vai Designer)
August 2, 2024
June 20, 2024
January 11, 2022
Happy Place Sweat Jacket
December 8, 2021
April 28, 2021
The Feeling of Shaming
April 16, 2021
Life Is A Big Blue Circle
February 9, 2021
Heart Over Head
While many people may occasionally feel head over heels for something or someone, I liked this saying by Miska Ben-David:
The head will make its plans, but the heart will choose its own path.
In other words, we are often driven by our hearts over our heads!
Passion is a powerful motivator, indeed.
When passion calls, do you go running too?
(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
January 11, 2021
We're Leaving
December 8, 2019
The Best of Jewish Nigunim
November 26, 2019
A Song of Saul and David
Great song: David and Shaul from Ehud Banay's third album, ”The Third/Hashlishi”
The song is about the "bipolar" feelings of King Saul toward David (then the next king of Israel).
Here are the lyrics:
כולם מזמן הלכו לישון
רק שאול ער, קודר
מרים לדוד טלפון
A late-night hour
Everyone is long gone to sleep
Only Shaul is awake, cheerless
He calls David up over the phone
נפשי אגם שחור
תביא איתך את הגיטרה
כי באצבעותיך אור
Maybe you should stop by, Ya David
My soul is a black lake
Bring the guitar with you
For you have light in your fingers
דוד בא מיד רגוע,
מתיישב ומכוון
את המלאכה היטב יודע
עוצם עיניים, מנגן
David comes right away and he is calm
Sit down and tunes (the guitar)
The job he well knows
Closes his eyes, he plays
עשר אצבעות לדוד
קצה כל אצבע - קרן אור
כשהוא פורט על המיתר
הזמן זורם לו לאחור
Ten fingers David has
The tip of each one - a ray of light
When he port on the string
The time is flowing backwards
קרבות בתוך בטנו
אוהב-שונא, ומקנא
מכור לחברו
Shaul is torn inside
Battles in his stomach he has
Love-hate, and jealous he is
Addicted to his friend
השד חוזר להשתולל
סכין נזרקת באוויר
פתאום יש בין השנים קיר
Something dark falls
The demon is back to a rage
A knife is thrown in the air
Suddenly there is a wall between the two
דוד מתחמק משאול
אבל שאול לא מוותר
דוד שוכח וסולח
כששאול מתקשר
דוד שוכח וסולח
כששאול מתקשר
David is avoiding Shaul
But Shaul is not giving up
David forget and forgives
When Shaul call up
בוא שוב לנגן לי דוד
קח אותי לכוכבים
בוא שוב לנגן הלילה
שיר געגועים
קח אותי לכוכבים
בוא שוב לנגן הלילה
שיר געגועים
Come again to play to me David
Take me to the stars
Come again to play tonight
A song of longing
בוא שוב לנגן הלילה...
Come again and play tonight..
שיר געגועים...
Come again and play tonight..
A song of longing..
(Kudos to my Ulpan teacher, Rivka D. for sending me the video and to Izchak, my wonderful son-in-law, for providing the Hebrew/English lyrics)
November 2, 2019
Pyramid of Emotional Intelligence
It starts at the bottom with your own personal self-awareness--knowing who you are, including your beliefs, values, priorities, needs, and dreams, and being able to express this.
Next level is your personal self-control--being able to manage your feelings, control your actions, and cope with challenges and adversity.
Moving to the social level is then social awareness--having a consciousness and respect of others, their feelings, thoughts, motivations, needs, desires, and rights.
Finally, at the top is relationship management--the ability to actively listen and empathize, assert and influence, be patience and unconditionally accept differences, develop trust, give and take, collaborate, and manage conflict.
Most people work on developing these areas of the EI their whole life, and it is definitely a pyramid worthy of the climb. ;-)
(Credit Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)
September 21, 2019
OFNR Communications Model
This is a useful 4-part communications process (developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg):
1. Observations: Tell the other person the behavior you observe from them that is making you uncomfortable.
When I Observe...
2. Feelings: Explain how the person's behavior makes you feel (happy, sad, angry, annoyed, excited, worried, scared, hurt, embarrassed, confused)
I feel...
3. Needs: Describe what you need from the other person (physiological, safety, social, esteem, self-actualization)
Because I need...
4. Requests: Ask them specifically what you'd like them to do.
Would you be willing to...It's a way to make your feelings and needs known and ask nicely what you'd like from others.
This provides a mechanism to give feedback and work with other people without being confrontational, threatening, dictatorial, or nasty.
When I see you reading my blog, I feel happy, because I need to try to be a good person and good influence in this world. Would you be willing to share my blog with others? ;-)
(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal and Colleague from Work)
June 3, 2019
Finding Our Innerspace
Innerspace
There is outer space.
And there is innerspace.
Outer space is the universe, the cosmos, the galaxies, the solar systems, the stars, and the planets--it's the big picture of what is all around us.
Innerspace is the our soul, conscience, thoughts, feelings, who we are, and what we're all about--it's the infinity of what makes us up and what's inside each of us.
The perspective is infinitely big as we look upward and outward to the heavens, and infinitely small as we zoom inside ourselves to the subatomic levels.
The innerspace makes me think of mindfulness, meditation, and finding purpose, meaning, truth, and inner peace.
Our search for self is really the intersection of outer- and innerspace.
We are but a speck of dust and yet we have the power to do such immense good.
It's a contradiction that is so powerful--for who are we that G-d is mindful of us and cares for us and gives us the power to choose good from evil.
Yet that is exactly our world and our place in it--and this is where we find innerspace in all of outer space. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
March 3, 2019
Video Of Video
We went to the art galleries in Rockville Town Center today.
They had this video called "Neighbor" by Kanat Akar.
It's about the life of a 13-year old refugee boy from Alleppo, Syria who migrated to Anakara, Turkey.
The video is eerie and hypnotic as it walks you through the eyes of this little boy and the misery of his life.
While to me it represents the dark side of life, there is so much to be explored and felt from it.
You can't watch this without feeling like you are there on this dirty, squalor of a road to nowhere, but wanting desperately to know where it ends. ;-)
(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)
January 19, 2019
Stone Faces Hide The Heart
They go around with a stone face.
No emotion seems to seep in or out.
The face doesn't betray the heart in any way.
You say something or do something, and they just sort of stare at you.
No words, no outward response.
Just a stone face like a poker face.
You don't know what's behind it.
But worse yet is a heart of stone--nothing impacts the inside just like the outside.
Are some people this way because they have been so hurt in the past that they become hardened like a turtle's shell to protect from the outside world.
...Ain't gonna let nothing hurt me again.
Or are they great at using their poker face to fool, manipulate, and get what they are after.
Perhaps the worst possibility is that they are simply a real psychopath--someone without conscience or empathy.
Yes, that is scary because the unthinkable becomes thinkable.
For most of us, reading verbal and non-verbal cues is critical to understanding other people.
Hiding those cues can mean that the stone face is going to shatter someone's world and that won't be a pretty face at all. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
January 7, 2019
No One Cares How You Feel
But it is one full of love and helping your kids.
Sometimes, I remember listening to my kids say that they feel this or that and seeing that it was holding them back from accomplishing their goals.
Often, I would tell them that the only people that really care about how they feel is your mother and father--but generally-speaking, it a tough world out there, and:
"No one [else] cares about how you feel."
I tried to focus them--not on being cold and unfeeling--but rather on being strong inside and focusing on the tasks that need to get done.
Sure, feelings are important, but if you are getting held back from doing what you need to do--then there are times when you need to put the feelings in abeyance and go forward.
Overall, there is plenty of time to feel what you feel, but don't let anger, fear, or anxiety get in the way of you accomplishing your dreams.
In a book that I am reading by Amos Oz, "A Tale of Love and Darkness," he writes:
'I want' and 'I don't want' aren't reasons, they can only be defined as self-indulgence.
Yes, it's a little tough love, but also it is out of true love to help the kids to be willing and determined to try their best and not get held back by anything in the pursuit of the destiny they choose to follow. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
November 15, 2018
Listen, Empathize, Give A Little
He said something I liked:
Listen, empathize, and give a little.
Yes, we each have our beliefs and positions on things.
But we don't live in a vacuum.
Other people have their own views, sensitivities, and wants.
We have to get along so we can work together, and get things done.
It starts by listening--not just hearing, but really listening to what the other person is saying.
But that's not really enough.
To really understand the other person, we have to try to empathize with what they are feeling--we need to try to walk in their shoes even if just for a moment.
But that also isn't enough.
We can't have it all our way--we need to give a little to get a little.
No one can have everything and have a good relationship like that.
We need to compromise--as long as it's not on things of integrity, conviction, or G-d.
Everything else we have to listen, empathize, and give a little. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
October 3, 2018
We All Have Our Moods
Today I'm feeling {choose your poison}...
While I'm sure that we'd like to be happy all the time, it's not realistic to think that will actually be probable or even possible.
Sure, everyone puts on the big smile.
But behind the smile is often many other feelings
As one colleague said to me:
"People are complex!"
Isn't that true?
Anyway, don't beat yourself for feeling what you feel--it's okay to be relaxing, excited, angry, sad, stressed or whatever.
Of course, that doesn't excuse letting it get the best of you and bad behavior.
We're adults, not children with temper tantrums.
Certainly, though, we are all human, and all feelings are fine. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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