What Is Peace + Happiness?

I loved this piece of art work with the colorful Buddhas.

It got me thinking about peace and happiness--is it the same for everyone?

To one person, career, achievement, and money seems to make happy--as one of my friends told me about one of his extremely successful bosses who heads a large corporation and has not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 mansions on the water, in the mountains, and overlooking Central Park in NYC.

To another person, it's being able to do what they want to in life--doing what makes you emotionally happy instead of what you have to do; the freedom to choose and to be passionate about what you do and how you spend you time every day--whether it's a profession, an activity or sport, or even exploration and travel.

Yet others, find peace and satisfaction in spiritual and religious pursuits--joining the clergy or learning about G-d and philosophy, doing G-d's commandments or helping his creations by doing good deeds. 

Many of course, find peace and get nachas from their families, the loves of their life, their beautiful children and grandchildren, and helping the next generation to grow and prosper after us. 

That can also extend to friends, community, and even colleagues--when we surround ourselves with other good people, those who we enjoy their company and have things in common, then we can find happiness with each other.

Being here in Florida for the holidays, I'm reminded of all the sun, beauty, and body-worshippers, those people who love their physique and good health, working out, looking good, being with others that look good, and even designing and making things that are beautiful. 

And at the other end of the spectrum again are the intellectual nerdy nerds who get their energy from being brainiacs like one of my friend's nephews who is one of silicon valley's serial innovators.

Whatever you love, have, and do that makes you happy is something to be extremely grateful for.

Nothing is forever, and nothing is owed to us.

Use the gifts that G-d has given you with the wisdom to reach enlightenment by being good and generous to others and so that you truly merit these beautiful things and thank the creator who blessed you. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Is Peace + Happiness?

Make People and Time Count

So there was an article in Slate about how kids think these days.

And it's a reflection of the adults, of course. 

When 10,000 middle and high school students from 33 schools across the country were asked, what's more important--80% chose high achievement or happiness as their top priority vs just 20% who picked caring for others.

The kids who chose their happiness and achievement over helping others tended to score low on empathy and were at greater risk of being "cruel, disrespectful, and dishonest."

Bottom line is that these are our values that we impart when we recognize and reward our children for things like good grades and extra-curriculars, but not for helping or caring about others. 

Pretty much, I think parents worry that their kids should be able to support and care for themselves, because that's what's considered our primary responsibility as parents--to make sure the next generation survives and can go on physically and materially once we are gone. 

In a way, it's Darwinism and survival of the species and of the fittest. 

The problem is survival of our physical manifestation is not equivalent to the thriving of the spiritual being inside all of us. 

It's not enough to live, but we have to live a good and descent life.

Our bodies wither and die, but our souls learn, grow, and go on to the afterlife. 

Yesterday, I had this freakish accident, going through the turnstiles on the Metro in Washington, DC.

The person before me went right through the gates as they opened, but when I put my pass down and went through, the gates had a glitz and closed suddenly right on my legs (and my artificial hips) and I went tumbling forward hard to the floor. 

Amazingly, two wonderful bystanders (not the Metro employees who didn't even flinch or care) came rushing over to me, and literally lifted me up by the arms and handed me my wallet and glasses which had fallen to the side. 

One of the people that helped was especially nice to me, and he asked me how I was and really seemed to care that I was alright--imagine that a complete stranger in the Metro! 

The two people who stopped to help could've literally hopped right over me to rush for the train at the end of the day like everyone else, but they didn't.

To them, caring was more important than their own time. 

Maybe I got the 20% yesterday, but it made me realize AGAIN how terrific some people are and they truly make time count--by making people count--like unfortunately many others may never ever bother to. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal) 

Make People and Time Count

From Cocoa Trees To Honey Pizza

Had a chance to take in the United States Botanic Garden. 

Loved going in the greenhouse. 

The air was fresh and the flowers beautiful. 

The 2nd to last photo is a cocoa tree, which I had never seen before. 

It was incredible to me that those pods hold the amazing stuff that gives us chocolate. 

G-d's creations are so amazing. 

Also, we went for dinner and my daughter had this amazing pizza with cheese, figs, spinach, and honey. 

I couldn't have the dough because of my Paleo diet, but I just tasted the toppings, and it was literally like heaven. 

I was glad that the taste didn't show up on the scale this morning. 

To me the wonderment is how our senses can literally indulge in so many wonderful things almost like the Garden of Eden. 

Thank you G-d for giving us life and the ability to enjoy your amazing creations. ;-)

(Source Photos: Andy Blumenthal)

From Cocoa Trees To Honey Pizza

Happy Jewish New Year 5777

May it be a truly sweet and wonderful year. 

It should be a year filled with happiness, health, peace, prosperity, love, and unity. 

May G-d forgive our transgressions, judge us with mercy, and inscribe us in the book of life. 

Let it be a year of meaning, inspiration, innovation, exploration, discovery, and ushering in better times for all mankind. 

Thank you Hashem for all your everlasting kindness, for safeguarding and keeping us, and bringing us ever closer to redemption and to you. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Happy Jewish New Year 5777

The Unmarried

So I know like everything, marriage is a choice. 

But more and more people are choosing to be unmarried. 

Today, in the Wall Street Journal, 48% (almost half) of American eligible voters are unmarried. 

And almost 40% of births are to unmarried couples. 

The average age for getting married for women is 27 and for men 29.

While of course, it is tough to find (and keep) your soulmate and a lot of it has to do with mazel, it seems like there is not enough appreciation for marriage. 

Everyone who is or has been married, I am sure, has had their share of disagreements and fights with their "better half," and certainly some abusive and cheating relationships are way better off undone!

But for the most part, I believe that life is greater and fuller with someone special to share it with, and it is part of our learning and growth to couple, care, give, and love. 

I remember when my Opa (grandfather) lost my Oma (grandmother) and when my dad lost my mom and those where some of the most heart wrenching traumas, I think I have ever witnessed. 

"What G-d has joined together, let no man break apart." 

When I got married, the Rabbi blessed us that we should be Ra'im A'huvim or best friends, and that is a very beautiful blessing to have. 

My advice is to try it and hopefully like (or love) it--I think it's worth even all the I Love Lucy moments.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Unmarried

The Revolving Door

So work is a revolving door of people onboarding and offboarding.

New people are getting hired.

Old people are leaving.

Nothing is stable.

The relationships you made yesterday just left the revolving door today, and it's time to make new ones.

One "ran from Dodge."  Another retired.  A third left for the private sector.  Someone else is going just down the block.

On the inbound train are Summer interns. Contractors being hired on as regular staff.  Brand new people.  And even some people coming back after leaving for a short time.

People get antsy or have enough doing what they were doing, dealing with who they are dealing, or simply want a change and a challenge.

Others are shown the door under less fortunate circumstances.

Whether looking to pave new trails, find yourself a seat at the table, a leadership position, or a fatter paycheck--the eyes see, and the heart wants.

Some people are tethered to their job or even "retired in place (RIP)"--perhaps it's truly a great job and fit or it's like their life blood (their whole identity, their reason for being) or maybe, they just like collecting what they consider "easy money" for a job they know and love or can skate by on, or maybe they work with other great people they really like and every day is a fresh challenge and even fun. 

Recents studies indicate that retiring later in life actually increases longevity, but when is enough enough or are we leaving ourselves enough time to sit at the pool side and just enjoy life a little?

Millennials, famous for changing jobs often, now are at an average of 4 jobs by the time they hit 32.

And in Information Technology, job hopping is considered "the world's biggest game of musical chairs."

Why the increase in the job hopping bug in people's you know what?

Sure there is more opportunity for those that have the right skills, and people getting bored or stale is a bad thing, everyone wants to find a good fit for themselves and where they can have a real impact, and economic and social pressures push people to make the leap, perhaps there is also some foolishness involved--where the grass is always greener or not.

Sometimes though it really may be right for the person--and that's for each to explore and decide for themselves. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to John Garghan)

The Revolving Door

G-dly Tattoo

So my daughter took this photo of someone on the train.

They had a tattoo that said Elokim--G-d's name in Hebrew--on their hand along their thumb.

Also, they had a second tattoo on the top of their hand that had the Star of David. 

Pretty dramatic, I think. 

But what a way to remember G-d and your religion all the time.

And I thought wearing a yarmulke on my head was something!

Anyway, just another thought for the day.

I was talking with a young person this week.

They said, how hard it was to be young and not know what was going to happen--what life had in store for them. 

I agreed that it was, but also added something that I had heard a number of years ago that:

When your young, you have health, but no money to enjoy it 

and when your old, you have money, but no health to enjoy it. 

The point is that at every point in life, we have our challenges, and we just have to make the most of what we got, when we have it. 

Ideally, of course, we have plenty of health and money--and the time to enjoy it with our family and friends.  

Happy Passover!

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

G-dly Tattoo

Panda Love Express

This was interesting on the sign in Washington, D.C.

An advertisement for a dating site with a picture of a panda bear apparently with love in it's eyes.

(Note: I don't know what Panda.com site is as it wasn't working when I tested it--hopefully, nothing bad.)

Juxtaposed with the sun glaring off the window on the building next to it, made it seem like it was just calling out to the singles--who are looking to meet Mr./Mrs. Right--for a new beginning. 

Bees do it. Birds do it. Of course, even panda bears do it. 

Everyone should have a chance to find their soulmate and live happily ever after. 

Social sites, gatherings, or personal introductions, whatever brings people together--it's a beautiful thing. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Panda Love Express

Happy Hamsa

I took this photo in the local Judaica store.

It is a Hamsa--a palm-shaped amulet symbolizing the hand of G-d--and it is supposed to bring good luck, blessing, and protection. 

This particular hamsa was decorated in a more homey flower theme, which made it different and interesting from the others that I have seen which are traditionally either deep blue with a single watchful eye or others that are multi-colored and jeweled. 

This hamsa should bring us all good fortune and much happiness. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Happy Hamsa

Forcing Kids Backfires Big Time

Fascinating article in the Sunday New York Times today on how the stress we are putting on our kids is making them sick. 

With testing of High school students showing incredibly alarming rates of mental illness:

- 54% with moderate to severe depression.

- 80%+ with moderate to severe anxiety.

And 94% of college counseling directors "seeing rising numbers of students with severe psychological problems."

Even pediatricians are reporting 5-, 6-, and 7-year olds coming in for migraines and ulcers!

Another teacher said with all this, "We're sitting on a ticking time bomb."

Under the pressure to get into great schools and get a foot in the door in excellent careers and attain high-paying jobs, we are making our kids work longer school days, do more homework, take more Advanced Placement (AP) exams, participate in numerous extracurricular activities, and achieve, achieve, achieve. 

We've taken away normal play time--the fun out of life growing up--and the imagination, exploration, and discovery away from kids just being kids. 

The paradox is that "the pressure cooker is hurting, not helping, our kid's prospect for success."

Especially for parents who themselves grew up poor or lacking, maybe they are trying to do the "right thing"and give their kids more than they had and a "better life."

But maybe even the best intentions to mold children to be what we want them to be, or think they should or could be, is misplaced.

If only we could all take a little (or BIG) chill pill...you can't force success--with forcing you get the opposite results.

Back off people--instead of pushing and endless disciplining--how about we listen to the children, guide them, show unconditional love, and be excellent examples--show them integrity, a strong work ethic, along with an appreciation for work-life balance, then perhaps we will get not only the success of the next generation that we all need, but also happier, better adjusted, and healthier children. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Forcing Kids Backfires Big Time

Stop If'ing Me

Often in life, I hear people say how if only in life things could've been different. 

Then they could've been happy...successful...satisfied...contributed more...been a better husband/wife, father/mother, son/daughter, employee or Jew/Christian/Muslim...achieved more...gotten further in life...become more...saved more...been more charitable...or a better person.

I remember in elementary school, in one class when the kids would ask lots of questions..."What if [this]?" or "What if [that]?"

And the teacher (who happened to be the vice principle) would start to get exacerbated, and would blurt out, "If, if, if...if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a trolley!"

Not very complimentary to his grandmother, but point well taken--we can ask if till we're blue in the face, but what does that accomplish except make excuses for ourselves or fantasize about something that isn't. 

This came up yesterday when I was talking with some people about the Syrian+ refugee crisis and what is the obligation and right thing to do in terms of Europe and America taking in so many of these people.

And someone said, "Well why should we take them in if they can already go to so many Muslim countries that could take them in--why are we involved?"

And one of the other people goes, "Well that's a big if about the other Muslim countries taking them in--because they don't seem to want to help them."

And then he adds this funny saying to solidify his point, "If the queen had another appendage, she'd be the king!"

Um, okay...that's another way to put it. 

Not sure this answers the refugee question about who is or should be taking responsibility and helping whom.

But that's the thing about "if's, ands, or buts" in life...these can be real questions or they can become convenient excuses, conditions, and qualifications.

And that is why we have to discern if something is a real question that makes us examine things harder and more carefully to make a better decision or whether it's just another dead end or side track to nowhere. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Stop If'ing Me

Only Game In Town

This was a funny sign up in Harpers Ferry yesterday, Thanksgiving Day. 

Outside this restaurant, it says, "Only OPEN Place in Town, GREAT Food."

I suppose if it's the only game in town, then whatever food they have is by definition "great"-compared to going hungry that is. 

Life is very much like this--where everything is relative. 

If I have too many choices--how do I choose? 

Whatever I choose, I may second guess myself that maybe another one would've been better. 

It's like when I go out with my daughter to eat, somehow whatever she orders is always better than what I got!

But when choice is limited or non-existent, well then "beggars can't be choosey."

Essentially, your happy with what you have-- perhaps, something is often better than nothing. 

But really it's much more than that, because if you look closely at others, you realize that what you have is actually a pretty darn good lot in life--so don't be envious, jealous, or be too quick to want to change places with your neighbor. 

Obviously, this was a very apropos sign for Thanksgiving--where we need to learn to be grateful for everything we have in life. 

It is our basket, and we wouldn't want to trade it for anything in the world (and if you did, you'd be sorry afterwards). ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Only Game In Town

Top 30 Legacy Of Hope And Change

Over 7 long years, the promise of "hope and change" has given way instead to the disappointment of chaos and dysfunction.

Just some 30 examples off the top of my head...

1) Nuclear IRAN

2) Civil War SYRIA

3) Fragmented IRAQ

4) Taliban resurgent AFGHANISTAN

5) Militarization of SOUTH CHINA SEA

6) Nuclear missile NORTH KOREA

7) Terrorist State ISIS

8) Resurgent aggressive RUSSIA

9) Weaponization of SPACE

10) Streaming crisis of REFUGEES

11) Broken system for IMMIGRATION

12) Sharply rising MURDER RATES

13) Growing and largest PRISON POPULATION

14) Rising RACISM

15) Increasing INEQUALITY

16) Worsening polarization in POLITICS

17) Poor TRANSPARENCY

18) Dysfunction in GOVERNMENT

19) Rising NATIONAL DEBT

20) Crisis in HEALTHCARE

21) Failing system of EDUCATION

22) Stalling INNOVATION

23) Growing insecurity of CYBER 

24) Infringement on PERSONAL PRIVACY

25) Falling participation in LABOR FORCE

26) Slowing ECONOMY

27) Worsening CLIMATE CHANGE

28) Shrinking affiliation with RELIGION

29) Epidemic of SUICIDE AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

30) Declining HAPPINESS

Now, one of our main hopes has to be genuine change for the better. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Top 30 Legacy Of Hope And Change

It's The Way You Look At Things

It's the old saying, "Is the glass half empty or half full?"

You can be a positive Peter or a negative Nellie. 

Your choice--or disposition, perhaps. 

Last week one day when the weather was bad out and I was entering the indoor pool for my laps, someone said to me, "The worse it is out there, the better it is in here."

And he was right, you can complain about the weather or whatever, but you can appreciate having great indoor facilities or just a roof over your head. 

If you look up, you can be inspired to reach for the next rung, and if you look down you can be grateful for how far you've already made it. 

Also, however bad off you might be, there are always others who are worse off. 

As a kid, I remember hearing about the person who was missing a hand and feeling bad about themselves, until they meet someone who was missing both arms. 

I do recall in actuality riding the NYC subways and poor people would come through the end doors between the cars (not allowed on the DC Metro) to go begging from money through the train--the unbelievable thing was that they were just a stump of a body from the waste up (no lower body whatsoever!) getting around by sliding themselves on a skateboard inches of the ground--can you imagine that? 

Perspective...my father used to say, "Smile and the whole world smiles with you."

Sometimes just the motion (even if it's just an act) of putting on that happy face can actually transform you to being happier. 

No, not a placebo effect, but like the Jewish notion that from doing can actually come the feeling.

In other words, just try--there is so much to be positive about and thankful for--not just on Thanksgiving--coming up next week--but all year round. 

Life is a journey full of learning and growing--not a destination. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

It's The Way You Look At Things

Beautiful And Serene Hiking Sunday

So after lunch out, we went for a little hike at Lake Needwood. 

Today was absolutely beautiful.

The sun was shining bright and emanating warmth, but the air was cool with a breeze--that is the best of all worlds. 

The path was quiet and serene except for some occasional bikers yelling, "On your left"--might as well have said get the h*ll out of the way--one bike, two bikes, three bikes...okay done. 

Dossy and I held hands like newlyweds and just walked and talked along the trail. 

The daily stress and worries seeping out and away--and I am just floating with a renewed peacefulness and gratitude to Hashem.

Thank you all merciful G-d for granting us peace--one of the greatest of all blessings--may it spread around the world and last for all eternity! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Beautiful And Serene Hiking Sunday

Mankind's Endless And Elusive Pursuit Of Happiness

So I took this photo yesterday of a lady on the Metro reading The Happiness Project.

The book is a multi-year bestseller about the pursuit of happiness and how the author, Grethen Rubin, took a year and made a project of getting happy.

She did this through a "methodical" project with "measurable goals" and working to "build on them cumulatively."

Now happiness is being described not as a goal or project, but as a "movement."

Why is happiness such an elusive pursuit to so many throughout the times?

In fact, in looking for how to achieve happiness throughout the ages, we can't even agree on what it is or how to do it.

Carl Cederstrom in the New York Times provides an overview where the how-to for achieving happiness has changed more times than some people change their underwear.

Here's to the rainbow of finding happiness:

- The Greeks/Aristotle - Be a good person, live ethically, cultivate one's virtues. 

- Hedonists/Epicureans - Pursuit whatever brings you pleasure. 

- Stoics - Happiness is achievable even when experiencing hardship, suffering, and pain. 

- Christianity - Happiness is not achieved on Earth, but rather in the afterlife/in divine union.

- Renaissance/Enlightenment/Thomas Jefferson - Happiness is an unalienable right, and related to property rights.

- Today - Achieve authenticity and be narcissistic, express true inner selves, get in touch with inner feeling, worship our bodies, and productivity through work. 

I believe that the relentless pursuit of happiness is due to man's inability to truly reconcile being/feeling happy with what he experiences on an almost daily basis on a spectrum of unhappiness:

- Disappointment

- Failure

- Unacceptance

- Rejection

- Bullying

- Abuse

- Injustice

- Suffering

- Poverty

- War

- Disability

- Disease

The result of man's expectation of happiness yet its continued elusiveness to him manifests in people running around like a chicken with their heads cut off (something my mom told me about that she saw as a little girl):

- Changing, leaving, coming back, or clinging to religion.

- Disenfranchisement with government, politics, political parties, and politicians.

- Entering into and dissolving marriages and relationships.

- Migration to different parts of the country or even moving abroad and traveling here, there, and everywhere.

- Cycling your money and investments in real estate, material goods, and a host of investments (stocks, bonds, hedge funds, etc.).

- Trying out a series of different educational pursuits, careers, and hobbies--surely one will be my passion, provide some meaning, or make me happy!

- Trying to squeeze more and more "things" into and out of a 24-hour day. 

- Looking for a quick fix through partying, pornography, sex, drugs, alcohol, and rock & roll. 

What's the trend in happiness now?

A relentless pursuit of innovation and transformation through technology, robotics, everything autonomous, self-healing, self-reproducing, searching for new (and perhaps better) worlds, and even time travel. 

Oh, and let's not forget pursuing a longer life (or the holy grail of immortality), so we have more time to try and be happy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Mankind's Endless And Elusive Pursuit Of Happiness

Appreciating G-d's Gifts

Today, I heard a fascinating speech from Rabbi Haim Ovadia of Magen David Synagogue that put a beautiful new perspective on the Ten Commandments.

He explained how the commandments are not just commandments, but actually a covenant between G-d and mankind.  

G-d gave man gifts of:

1) FREEDOM and choice (He is the L-rd who brought you out of bondage)
2) DIVINITY, a direct spiritual connection (Thou shalt have no idols)
3) PRAYER, heartfelt (Thou shalt not take G-d's name in vain)
4) SABBATH, day of rest (On the seventh day thou shalt do no work)
5) FAMILY (Honor thy father and mother).

In turn, G-d asks that we appreciate His gifts to us, and not take from others what isn't ours:

1) LIFE (Don't murder)
2) Another Man's WIFE (Don't commit adultery)
3) THINGS (Don't steal)
4) DUE PROCESS/JUSTICE (Don't bear false witness)
5) Someone else's BLESSINGS (Don't covet, and essentially bring an "evil eye" on them)

This interpretation is sort of the ah-ha in the Ten Commandments, which otherwise some would say, "what's so novel or special about G-d telling us not to do these bad things--wouldn't we already know (many of) these ourselves?"

But what is novel here is that the Ten Commandments is a whole philosophy of thinking about life, one where we appreciate G-d's many gifts to us, but where we control our animal instincts and in turn act spiritually.

Thank you G-d for the many wonderful gifts, and for giving us the opportunity to elevate ourselves and be satisfied with our lot in life. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Appreciating G-d's Gifts

Feeling It All

Feelings are one of those things that make us oh so human. 

We feel love and hate, joy and sadness, hopeful and anxious, peaceful and distraught, and countless more emotions. 

While some people come across as stoic, others seem to take it all in (maybe even right on the chin). 

Hence, the perennial stone-faced poker player verse the person who seems to show every emotion and just can't hide it. 

According to the Wall Street Journal, about 20% of both men and women are what's called highly sensitive people (HSPs).

HSPs simply feel everything more!

These are the people who are crying at the movies and so on. 

They can also be extremely empathetic and caring--because they just almost intuitively understand. 

I think they are also deep thinkers, they are watchers of people, taking in the stimuli and processing it in terms of their feelings. 

I remember as a kid sitting with my sister and her friends who were considerably older than me--8 years--and I would listen to their "mature" girl conversations go on and on, and then at the end, I would just sort of say my sensitive two cents, and I think more often then not, I got a lot of surprise looks at a young boy who seemed a lot older and wiser than his age. 

In retrospect, I think that I was always just very sensitive to people, their plights, their hurt, the injustices in the world, and sought to understand it and try to make it right. 

The flip side is that one schmuck of a manager years ago said to me, "You need to get a thicker skin!"

But you know what, I like feeling, being very human, and deeply experiencing the world.

I would imagine (having never tried drugs, true) that perhaps people who get high either are running away from some feelings or running to others--but as a HSP, you just feel it all straight up. 

Being very sensitive to the world can almost be like extrasensory perception...sometimes you can see what others don't, but you also have to learn to cope with the firehose flood of feelings--sometimes even having to tune some of it out. 

Cut me and I bleed, caress me and I am comforted.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Feeling It All

Live To Live or Live To Die?

In The New York Times today, David Brooks presents “two sets of virtues, the resume virtue and the eulogy virtue.”

The resume virtues are the skills you need to get ahead in the marketplace, and the eulogy virtues are “whether you were kind, brave, honest, or faithful.”

While we'd like to believe that most feel that being a decent human being is more important than how much money we earn, unfortunately our education and economic systems are geared far more toward the latter, where it's widely acknowledged that "money makes the world go round!”

In fact, many will often sacrifice the moral high ground for landing on a bigger, cushier hill of worldly possessions and pleasures. 

Interestingly enough, my daughter asked me last week, whether it is better to personally live a happy life but die with a horrible reputation or to live selflessly, struggling with life challenges, but be revered after you die?

To me the answer was simple--live, learn, and grow regardless of momentary personal happiness. Do what’s right, period--honor and chivalry is alive and well. 

But my daughter told me that over 90% of people polled chose their happiness in life as their #1 goal.

I suppose it's easy to say what's the point of leaving a legacy if you were not happy living your life every day, but I would counter with what's the point in chasing life's daily pleasures, if you were a bum and everyone knows it?

The point isn't even what people say about us when we are alive or dead, but rather that we know that we tried our best to live as decent, ethical human beings and that hopefully, we left the world a better place than when we got here.

Sure, there is no blessing in being poor or unhappy--but living purely to satisfy one's voracious materialistic appetite is just being a selfish little pig--come on admit it!

On your deathbed, will you wish you that in your life you had more money and status or that you had been a better, more giving human being? 

I say forget the resume and the eulogy, just think about what will really gives you peace of mind and inner happiness and it's more than any amount of money can buy or any seduction you can imagine.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Live To Live or Live To Die?

Moving And Emotional

So we are supposed to be moving in a few weeks, G-d willing. 

Not going far, but after 15 years in the same home, it's time. 

We found a place that we like and could agree on...following primarily the rule of thumb on location, location, location.

Lot's of places to shop, eat, workout, play, and pray. 

And close to public transportation...and of course, good 'ol work--his and hers.

As we're preparing for the move, there seems like a million things to do to get ready, but the hardest is figuring out what to take and what to leave. 

My friend told me to throw out half, and then come back and throw out the other half. 

You know what, a little extreme, but not a bad idea. 

So as I am going through things I bought or saved over the years, I am left scratching my head at what was I thinking for many of them, and for many of the memorable items that I can't believe any of this really happened. 

It's emotional looking back, and it's emotional looking forward--just different emotions.

Back--yes, where did the years go and with that regret for mistakes made, but also joy at things accomplished, lives touched, and beautiful memories made with people I really love. 

Forward--Oy, am I getting older (well, still middle age but...), there is excitement for what comes next, also some anxiety there--I hope all goes well, please G-d--and then there is the acknowledgement that it's not forever, and I better make the most of every moment of every day. 

My father used to tell me, when you are with those you love, you can live in a tee-pee and be happy...and I believe he was absolutely right. 

Moving to my next tee-pee with those precious to me...I don't care so much where, but just that we are together and happy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Moving And Emotional