At Peace Amidst Suffering

There is something very smart about Buddhist-thinking. 

(And frankly IMHO, can conceptually mesh very well with Judaism.)

Buddhists nobly accept that life is very much about suffering. 

That greed and evil cause human suffering.

And that we need to reflect, repent, learn, and grow from this as human being with spiritual souls inside us. 

Moreover, that we should have compassion on others, understanding their suffering, even as we experience or remember our own (may G-d have mercy).

This photo taken by at the DC Folk Festival captures well the suffering all around us.

At times, it seems that we are under attack from all sides. 

But like the Buddha at the center, we must submit ourselves to our maker, endure and work to be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings--and to help others achieve the same. 

Yes, maybe a lot easier said then done especially when we are in the throes of it all, but what a noble life we can live and go to the other side with, if we can but learn this. ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

At Peace Amidst Suffering

Walk Like A Chicken

So I've been reading about the use of virtual reality for the military veterans as a way to help the healing process of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

But this was something different yesterday in downtown D.C....

Using virtual reality to "See Life Through A Chicken's Eyes"--complements of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). 

So I go up and ask the attendant what this is all about. 

She says, "You can take the virtual reality tour and walk around a field as a chicken!"

She goes on, "Only we're having some trouble with the technology, so can you come back in 20 minutes?"

Uh, okay, but 2 things:

1. Yes, I do believe in ethical treatment for everyone (including animals), and no one should suffer where we can (and should) prevent it. 

2. I did just have some chicken (only Kosher, of course!) to eat just last week (and it was pretty good), and while I am curious to see the virutal reality, I can't make it back here in 20 minutes, but thank you!

Lesson: Treat all life compassionately, but I don't have to walk around as a chicken to see that! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Walk Like A Chicken

Love, Strength

This has been an enormously tough year with the loss of my mom, my dad going into assisted living, and my hip replacement and complications.

I have found myself torn from my normal routine--my structure, my discipline--and thrown instead into a world of unknowns, hopes, and definitely prayers. 

Throughout, my family and close friends have stood by me--as I gave the eulogy for mom, as I moved my father out of his loving home, and as I growled in pain with the osteoarthritis and then joint replacement.  

When my daughter took my hand telling me all be well, when my youngest drove me to the doctors and PT, and when my wife fought for my care--I feel eternally grateful to have these people in my life.

With all the technology in the world, there is nothing like a human being to reach out and grab a hold off. 

One of my colleagues asked me what I have learned from all of this, and I'd say three things:

- Take time to reflect on the direction of your life and work to make the tough changes while you're able.
- Empathize with the plight of others, be merciful and compassionate, and help where you see the slightest opportunity. 
- Be sincerely grateful for everything you have and remember who is the Master of all. ;-)

(Source Photo: Michelle Blumenthal)

Love, Strength

You Can Be Nice and Powerful

According to the Wall Street Journal, workers "value kindness in their boss" and compassion--this is natural, as we are all human with tests, frailties, and yes, everyone even makes some mistakes (and hopefully they learn from it). 

So while there may seem to be a contradiction between being nice and being an effective leader, there really is not. 

For example, we can have empathy for people, while still holding them accountable to do a good job through programs like flexible schedules, telework, and other workplace accommodations.

Power in the organization can be wielded by a boss in so many ways, and they don't even have to eat their spinach to do it. 

From what assignments you get, whether you have to work odd hours, to whether you get a good evaluation or even that promotion, for that matter. 

Many may be too quick to put on the punching gloves, however. 

Sometimes, the boss will laud publicly over some employees, while degrading or shunning others...that sends a message doesn't it.

Worse is boss that yells, tells someone their ideas are stupid, or glares at someone like they are a moron...that takes someone straight to employment hell. 

The email chain is the classic message!

So while power can be wielded, it can also be shielded by appreciating each person for what they can do and their contribution, if sincere and merited.

While employees value a nice boss, this doesn't mean that we don't want to be challenged, we do--challenge adds some meaning to our jobs and our day--that's why 75% would rather work for a high-achieving, but demanding boss than a nice, but ineffective one. 

But combine nice and high-achieving into a boss, and I think we will all want to work for such a leader and follow them wherever they go! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

You Can Be Nice and Powerful

Holocaust Remembrance Day 2014

I was so humbled to hear the story of survival of Dr. Alfred Munzer today at the Holocaust Memorial Observance.

Dr. Munzer was hidden for the first four years of his life from the Nazis by a righteous Indonesian family in the Netherlands.

Earlier this month, Dr. Munzer visited Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation, to share his awesome story of humanity and compassion in the face of Nazi brutality and genocide. 

Dr. Munzer told his story today through photos of his Jewish and Indonesian family's life during the Holocaust, and related how his father and sisters were murdered by the Nazis; from his immediate family, only he and his mother survived to come to America in 1958.

I was so inspired by Dr. Munzer's story and encourage everyone to hear it at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum where Dr. Munzer volunteers. 

When people help other people, even at their own peril, that represents true globalization of the human race and the unity of all mankind. ;-)

Holocaust Remembrance Day 2014

The Great Afterlife

I finished reading the bestseller Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander M.D. -- and it was awesome. 

Alexander, trained in rational, scientific thinking and a practicing neurosurgeon was not a believer of consciousness (i.e. the soul) outside of the functioning of the brain itself until he ended up for 7 days in a coma himself.

His near death experience (NDE) was not only unbelievably vivid, but also, as he reiterates again and again, absolutely real ("more real that the house I sat in, more real than the logs burning in the fireplace")!

The key beautiful messages that I came away with:

What is the relationship between G-d and man? 
- G-d loves us, unconditionally. 

- Our physical bodies and brains, with limited sensory organs, are filters that give us a kind of "amnesia" of the Divine. 

- Our personality, soul, spirit "continue to exist beyond the body"and is a "direct extension of the Divine."

What is the meaning of life (i.e. why are we here)?
- The universe is purposeful, and it "bring[s] beings into existence and allows them to participate in the glory of G-d."

- Evil exists in this world only to provide us the free will for growth to the Divine and ultimately for our ascendance in other dimensions. 

- There is "no need to fear the earthly world" and thus no need to be concerned or build ourselves up with "fame or wealth or conquest."

- To return to the spiritual realm, "we must once again become like that realm" by showing love and compassion for others. 

- "Other family" (i.e. angels) are "watching and looking out for us" and helping us navigate our time here on earth."

- "Our struggles and suffering" are eclipsed by the larger eternal beings we are.

What is the future world like?
- Injustice in this world is eclipsed by the "beauty and brilliance of what awaits us."

- The visible, physical world is but a "speck of dust" compared to the invisible, spiritual world that is "awash" in goodness, hope, and abundance.

- Time doesn't function the same in the spiritual world, "a moment can seem like a lifetime, and one or several lifetimes can seem like a moment."

- Our understanding of space is false; the "vastly grandeur universe isn't far away physically, but simply exists on a different frequency."

- We are not only part of the fabric of the universe, but also are "completely unified"with it, and are "intricately and irremovably connected" with "no real differentiation between 'me' and the world."

Having recently lost my mother, I found great solace in this book and its timeless message of purpose in our worldly lives, hope through a brighter future in the next world, and the immortality of our souls with our loving Father In Heaven. 

Thank you Dr. Alexander for sharing your experiences and these eternal truths with us. ;-)

(Source Photo: here and my first GIF)

The Great Afterlife

Outrage At Bogus Judge Baugh

Injustice, Injustice does Montana Judge Todd Baugh pursue. 

G-d, hope you are listening...

BBC reported about this bogus Judge Baugh who called a 14-year old girl that was raped by her 49-year old teacher, "as much in control of the situation" as the man who assaulted her. 

The poor girl later committed suicide, which her mother probably rightfully attributed to the distress from the rape and aftermath. 

And what does the judge do to mete out justice? He sentences the rapist to 15-years in prison AND suspends the sentence for all but 31 days with 1 day time already served. 

The victim was raped and is dead and the rapist gets not 30-years, but 30 days!

While the judge who is under pressure to resign has all of a sudden expressed his deep remorse, it is almost unbelievable that this is someone charged with seeing that justice is served. 

Shock, disbelief, outrage...what can you say about such a justice. 

While there is certainly a time and place for empathy, compassion, and mercy--would anyone in their right mind, see this as one of those cases? 

For all who believe that this world is not the end, but just the journey, I'd venture to guess that the 14-year old girl is not done either with her rapist or the judge who mocked her suffering and death. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Outrage At Bogus Judge Baugh

Living Longer, But With Worse Quality Of Life

Watching my parents age over the years has been hard--and very painful. 

They are good people--they've worked hard all their lives (nothing was just given to them), they are devoted to serving G-d, and they are loved by their family, friends, and community. 

They have lived a good life and we are grateful for every day.

Yet as they are getting older, the body like anything physical, starts to get sick and break down. 

Both my parents have serious illnesses, and in the last two years my mom has become almost totally disabled and is moving from a rehab center to a nursing home this coming week. 

I read this week in the Wall Street Journal, what I've been watching with my own eyes...we are living "longer, but not healthier lives."

Over the last 2 decades, life expectancy has risen 3 years to 78 years, but unfortunately only 68 of those, on average, are in good health--meaning that people suffer for about ten years with various disabilities.

What is amazing is that people are being pressed to retire later in life with an increase in age to receive full social security benefits to 67 by 2022--giving the average person a healthy retirement to enjoy of just 1 year!

With the average working household having less the $3,000 in retirement savings, things are not looking too good for Americans to retire young and enjoy their healthy years either. 

Additionally, despite longer living, in the last 2 decades, the U.S. fell from 20th place to 27th place in 34 member nations of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) for life expectancy and quality of life.

The leading causes of death remain heart disease, cancer, and stroke.  And disabilities are being driven by back, muscle, nerve, and joint disorders. 

Seeing with my own parents, the deteriorating quality of life and true suffering as they age, I am left questioning the real wisdom of keeping people alive, when the quality of life has so deteriorated as to leave them in pain and misery. 

While no one wants to lose their loved ones--the emptiness is devastating--at the same time, watching them endlessly and needlessly suffer is worse. 

I see my mom clutching her wheelchair, always in various states of discomfort and pain, and less and less able to help herself, in almost any way--it is tragic. 

So I ask myself is it also unnecessary and wrong? 

I call it forcing people alive. We keep people going not only with extraordinary measures, but also with day-to-day medicines and care that keeps their hearts pumping, their lungs breathing, and their brains somewhat aware. 

The patients are alive, but are in a sense dying a long and painful death, rather than a quick and painless one. 

I love my parents and mom who is suffering so much now, and I don't want to lose her, by does really caring for her mean, at some point, letting her go.

I tell my dad, "I just want mom to have peace"--no more suffering!

For the average person, 68 years of health is too short, but 10 years of disability and suffering may be too long. 

We use advances in technology and medical breakthroughs to keep people alive. But what is the cost in pain and disability, and even in cold hard dollar terms for a nation being gobbled up by deficits, longevity, and miserable disease and disability? 

People are living longer but at a significant painful price! 

Is this real compassion and empathy or a senseless fight with the Angel of Death? 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to wwwupertal)

Living Longer, But With Worse Quality Of Life

Let The Handicapped In

We can build "the bomb" and sequence human DNA, but we still are challenged in caring for and accommodating the handicapped. 

Some of the major legislative protections to the disabled are afforded under:

-  The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 that prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability in federal programs, and 

-  The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990, which covers things like employment, public programs (state and local) and transportation, public accommodations (housing) and commercial facilities, and telecommunications. 

Despite these protections, our world still remains a harsh place for many disabled people--and we see it with older facilities that have not been retrofitted, broken elevators in the Metro, managers being obstinate to providing reasonable accommodations, and people not getting up from seats designated or not, for the disabled.  

In yet more extreme cases, some people can show their worst and be just plain cruel toward the disabled:

On the Metro recently, there was a near fight between two young male passengers squeezing onto the train; when one tried walking away, deeper into the belly of the car, the other guy pursues him, and literally jumped over a guy in a wheelchair--hitting him with his shoe in the back of his head.  

On yet another occasion, also on the Metro, there was a wheelchair with it's back to the train doors (I think he couldn't turn around because of the crowding). A couple gets on the train, apparently coming from the airport, and puts their luggage behind the wheelchair.  At the next station or so, when the wheelchair tries to back out to get off the train, the couple refuses to move their luggage out of the way. The guy in wheelchair really had guts and pushed his chair over and past the luggage, so he could get off.

To me these stories demonstrate just an inkling of not only the harsh reality that handicapped face out there, but also the shameful way people still act to them. 

Today, the Wall Street Journal (17 August 2012) had an editorial by Mr. Fay Vincent, a former CEO for Columbia Pictures and commissioner of Major League Baseball, and he wrote an impassioned piece about how difficult it has been for him to get around in a wheelchair in everywhere from bathrooms at prominent men's clubs, through narrow front office doors at a medical facility for x-rays, and even having to navigate "tight 90-degree turns" at an orthopedic hospital! 

Vincent writes: "Even well-intentioned legislation cannot specify what is needed to accomodate those of us who are made to feel subhuman by unintentional failures to provide suitable facilities."

Mr. Vincent seems almost too kind and understanding here as he goes on to describe a hotel shower/bath that was too difficult for him to "climb into or out" and when he asked the CEO of a major hotel chain why there wasn't better accommodation for the disabled, the reply was "there are not many people like you visiting the top-level hotels, so it does not make business sense to cater to the handicapped."

Wow--read that last piece again about not making business sense catering to the handicapped--is this really only about dollar and cents or can decency and compassion play any role here? 

Yes, as Mr. Vincent points out, "modern medicine is keeping us all older for longer," and many more people will require these basic and humane accommodations for getting around, bathing, going to the toilet, and more.  Let's make this a national, no a global priority--every one deserves these basic dignities. 

I am not clear on the loopholes, exemptions, deficiencies in guidelines, or insufficiencies of enforcement that are enabling people to still be so callous, cruel, and just plain stupid, but it time to change not only what's written on paper, but to change people's hearts too. 

(Source Photo: here)

Let The Handicapped In

To Die or Not

Yesterday, I read in the Wall Street Journal (7-8 July 2012) about end of life decisions. 

With healthcare costs spiraling out of control, driven especially by the care given to those in their final year of life, as a society we are confronted with horrible decisions.

When do you do "everything possible" for the patient's survival and when do you make the call to "pull the plug." 

The article was about one man specifically--age 41, I think--who needed a heart transplant--which was expensive but successful, but then infection and complications set in over the course of the year and resulted in doctors removing part of his lung, his left leg above the knee, his gallbladder, and with the patient eventually living off of a ventilator. 

The medical staff described the patients wincing in pain and the horrific image of at times with the tube down his throat, his screaming with no sounds coming out. 

Doctors and the hospital's ethical counselors spoke with the parents of the man (as his wife had divorced him prior) about discontinuing care.

Part of the conversation was about the practically futile attempts to keep the man alive, the pain of the patient, but subtly there was also the notion about the high cost of care and the patient having reached Medicare limits.

When the father was told that the nurses were having ethical questions about treating the man, the father wanting to keep his son alive at virtually all costs said, (rather than his son being taken off of the medical care he was receiving) maybe these nurses who had an issue with it shouldn't be working on his ward!

The patient died within the year and at a cost of something like $2.7 million dollars (and the man leaving behind a 9 year old son himself). 

There is no question that we want to provide the best care for our families and loved ones--they mean everything to us. 

But when does the greater cost to society (i.e. the greater good) outweigh the benefits to the individual?

Yes, can we come up with hard and cold actuarial calculations about what a person contributes into the system, how much value they bring the world, what the anticipated cost is to keep them alive, and what are the chances of success--and then we can draw a line of what as a society we are willing or able to spend to save this person. 

That is very matter-of-fact--objective, but practically devoid of feeling, compassion, and hope. 

What if the calculation is wrong and the person could've been saved, lived longer, at lower cost, and/or would've been a great contributor to society--how do we know how to really figure individual life and death decisions.

And what of the cost--the meaning--to the family that relies and loves this person and needs him/her--the cost is priceless to them.

But what about others who don't, can't, or won't receive proper care because others ended up taking more than their "fair" share--aren't they also human beings deserving as well of proper care--and to their families are they not also invaluable?

From an ethical standpoint, this is one of those horrible dilemas that plague our consciousness and to which answers do not come easy. 

An almost insane question-- but can we be, in a sense, too giving to an individual, too generous societally, and with some things trying too hard to be ethical? 

Like we are seeing now with the financial decline of the European Union and the frightening fiscal challenges ahead for America--how do maintain the traditional "safety net" (Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and more) without bankrupting the system and underlying society itself? 

In essence, what happens when in our effort to be humane to people and give them a basic standard of living and care, keep our country safe, drive research and innovation, and secure human rights and democracy around the world--we overextend ourselves.  

Like many a great society before us that flourished and then declined and even disappeared--do we get overconfident, overly ambitious, and ultimately become self-defeating?

No one--a family member, a compassionate and caring human being, and especially an elected politician wants to say "no" when these decisions hang over us.

But the reality is we will soon be faced not only with the life and death decisions of today, but also generations of built-up overspending and borrowing to finance generous, and yes even corrupt, spending habits.

This will affect present and future generations requiring harder and longer work lives to get a lower standard of living and care, and could even result in our noble society's decline.  

The result is we not only face individual life and death decisions every day, but we also are facing a potential existential threat to our way of life.  

Expect gut-wrenching decisions over the next decade(s) and prepare for life to change in painful ways for all of us--on and off the deathbed.

While no one wants to face these questions and make the hard decisions, this is exactly what will need to happen--sooner or later. 

Fiscally-speaking, there is no longer one way to freedom, but through a collective fight to secure our nation's future. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

To Die or Not

Be Who You Are

I watched an interesting TED video presented by Brene Brown, who has a doctorate in social work and is a author many times over--she talked about one book in particular called The Gifts of Imperfection: Letting Go of Who We Think We Should Be and Embracing Who We Are (2010).

She said that from all her studies and research, what she learned is that purpose and meaning in life comes from the connections we make and maintain.

But what gets in the way is shame and fear--shame that we are not good enough and fear that we cannot make real connections with others.To move beyond shame and fear, we need to feel worthy as human beings--true self acceptance--and say "I am enough."
 
However, she points out that as a society there is a lot of numbing going on (i.e. plenty of shame and fear) and that is why we are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated society in history.  I liked this presentation and thought about how hard we are on ourselves--we are never good enough.

• All our lives we pursue signs of advancement from that gold star in grade school to collections of degrees, awards, promotions, material goods, and even relationships.
• We constantly push ourselves further and faster on the treadmill of life--in part to learn, grow and be better, but also to try to achieve our sense of self-worth and -acceptance.

Yet, as Brown points out those that are successful with relationships and have a strong sense of love and belonging are those that feel they are inherently worthy. They have self-esteem without having to achieve any of these things.

That sense of self-worth and confidence, Brown says, enables you to achieve three key things in life:

1. Courage--This is the courage to be yourself and to tell others who you are with a whole heart (i.e. they don't hide in shame).
2. Compassion--That is compassion for others, but also for yourself first--you accept yourself.
3. Connection--Getting to solid relationships in life is a result of our own capacity to be authentic.

When you have that self-worth and confidence then you can embrace your vulnerabilities and make them beautiful, rather than numb yourself to constantly try to cover the disdain you feel for your frailties and weaknesses. 

From my perspective, our growth and contributions to the world are good things--leave the world better than you found it!

However, the proving ourselves and amassing "things," while milestones in life, are not a measure of a person's true worth. 

Sometimes it is fine to get over it all--accept yourself, be yourself, and stop worrying that your never good enough.

In the Torah (bible), when Moshe asked G-d his name--G-d replies in Exodus 3:14: "I am that I am."  

To me, this is really the lesson here--if we but try to emulate G-d, then "we are what we are."

That is not defeat or giving up on bettering ourselves, but acceptance of who we are, where we came from, and where we want to go in our lives.

We don't have to beat ourselves up for being those things or for making good faith mistakes along the way. 


 (Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Be Who You Are

Poisons Anonymous

One of the Buddhist teachings is that there are 3 poisons in this world: greed, anger, and ignorance. 

But that by turning these poisons around into generosity, compassion, and wisdom, we can create life-healing. 

While this is sort of simplistic, it does point to a number of important things:

1) We can have an impact on our destiny. We can choose our direction and work towards something that is good or we can fall harmfully into some bad and destructive ways.

2) Everything has an antidote.  While we may not know the antidote at the time, generally everything has its corollary or opposite and we can find healing by moving towards that. 

3) The answers in life are not so far away. How much of a stretch is it to turned a clenched fist into an open hand or to quench ignorance with learning--these things are doable.

If we look at people and events at face value, it is easy as times to get angry and feel hatred at the corruption and injustices out there--but I believe, the key is to channel those feeling into something positive--into change and Tikkun Olam--"fixing the world". 

By channeling our feelings into constructive actions, then we are changing not just ourselves, but can have a broader influence--one deed at a time.  

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

Poisons Anonymous

Leadership Lessons From The Shaolin

I watched a Sunday movie called Shaolin, a martial arts film from Hong Kong (2011). 

What I really enjoyed about this movie aside from action and adventure was the teachings of the Shaolin monks.

Some highlights that I took away:

- Everything has a purpose: "Which is more useful a pile of gold or of mud? To a seedling, it is the pile of mud." One thing or one person is not better than another, but are just different and each serves their own purpose in life. 

- Greed is the root of all evil: "All negative deeds are done for greed." We need to be willing to let go of the desire for material things and instead value doing good deeds.
 
- Evil causes suffering: "From evil comes suffering. With justice, they are gone." In Judaism, there is a similar notion that one bad deed begets another and causes suffering, and vice versa good deeds spur more good in the world.

- Repentance is learning and growth: "The one who repents is a hero." Everyone makes mistakes and does bad at some point in their life--no one is an angel--but the key is to learn from these and commit to do better the next time. 

- Compassion is the way to peace: By being compassionate to others, we can purge ourselves of discontent and anger, and find inner peace and enlightenment.

Below is how I summarize the steps from materialism to enlightenment.

Hopefully, we can all find our way to achieving our true potentials for the good.
 

Leadership Lessons From The Shaolin