Life, Cartoonish And Not

Strange day, starting with these cartoon characters standing on the street waving to everyone.

And they say texting while driving is distracting -- what's this?

Some other weird things:

- At a food store, saw an argument between an Asian customer and a Spanish-speaking cashier--they were arguing over something as silly as an orange juice, but what made this especially comical was because of the language barrier, each was getting more and more frustrated, until they both sort of gave up, and the customer storming out saying he was never going there again. 

- At the rehabilitation facility, spoke to a couple where the husband--age 88--was there "unexpectedly" for the last two months after a relatively minor surgery. The wife--age 79 (married 60 years)--was visiting him every day. She said that they had never been really sick before, and that when he got out, they were going to visit their other condo in Florida and resume their regular, favorite hobby of ballroom dancing. 

- A nurse assistant, from Sierra Leone, told me how he had escaped the bloody civil war there that left 50,000 people dead.  He described how the rebels would overrun the villages killing everyone as he pointed his finger saying "boom, boom" and making slashing movements as if holding a knife or machete--and that many from his family were murdered. He described how he had escaped to neighboring Guinea and from there called his uncle in America who helped get him here, but the price was that he had to leave his family--a wife and two children behind. He said in the last 11 years, he was able to visit them only once in 2008 for a couple of weeks, and at the end of this month, he was finally able to go back to bring them to America. 

I wondered how very different our lives are--and how some people suffer with war, poverty, illness, and loss, while others are vacationing and dancing into their 90's. I'm not judging or implying anyone as good or bad--especially since all these people seemed very nice--but these events reminded me of a Jewish saying about the conundrum of the seeming righteous people that suffer and the wicked that prosper--and that only G-d is The Judge, who knows who is really righteous and wicked, what they really deserve, and that some people get rewarded in this world, while others in the world to come. 

Either way, I hope G-d has mercy on us, so we don't suffer, and have much more happy dancing times and less to none illness, poverty, and fighting. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Life, Cartoonish And Not

Adaptability And Integrity In The Face Of Catastrophe

The Walking Dead is the #1 TV show--and this past Sunday was just amazing not only in terms of the plot, but the lessons it provided.

The big question raised was can people change?

The Governor went through a seeming metamorphosis after the destruction of his prior town and murder of his people (by his own hand) and now he has a newfound family and tribe. 

When he comes to attack Rick and the prison to take it for the protection of his own people, Rick says let's just share it, it will be hard to overcome old rivalries, but we can do it--we can change!

But the Governor, yells in a blood curdling voice, "Liar!" and proceeds in a craze to chop off Hershel's head. 

What is particularly dramatics about this--aside from their opposing views of change--is that Hershel is the doctor who not only takes care of the physical health of his people, but also is the conscience of his group seeing that they don't lose their moral way. 

The Governor is a cold killer that truly can never change--and he not only executes Hershel, but screams "Kill them all!"

He also kills his newly adopted daughter after she is bitten by one of the walkers..he shoots her right in the face. 

At first, this seems like the Governor has changed, he can kill a Walker even if it's from his new family, as opposed to his own real daughter that he kept (unwilling to let her go) until Michonne kills her. 

But this was not real change for the Governor, because as he told Hershel about attacking and killing someone else's children to survive, "they aren't mine!"

The Governor is all about himself and will do anything selfishly to survive without consideration of others--this does not change. 

On the other hand, Rick and others survive by their ability to change and grow--they kill when they must, they have empathy when they can, they live by a code of right and wrong--in every situation, they adapt. 

For example, in a prior episode, Carol is forced to leave Rick's group because she brutally killed and burnt two of people in the prison when they got sick and were a threat of spreading the disease. However, Rick understood that this was wrong and banished her for what she did. Not all killing is justified, even if it helps you survive.

The Governor (and his new cohorts) are finally killed off in this episode, and although the safety of the prison is gone, and Rick and the others must leave and wander again, they continue to survive another day--changing with ever new challenges and adhering to an informal code of conduct that they maintain, even in the face of a world catastrophe.

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Adaptability And Integrity In The Face Of Catastrophe

Skiing The Rainbow

After the rain stopped finally, we got to go jet skiing off the Ft. Lauderdale beach.

The waves were insane though...

The instructor tells us, "Oh be careful, because the waves can turn the jet ski over--especially when you're coming in and out--and it weights 900 pounds!"

Trying to get on this thing with the sand shifting under my feet and the waves making this thing flip up like a bucking bronco--let's just say that I had more than a few second thoughts. 

But for my daughter's sake, we went forward--BTW Rebecca, you were very brave and I thank you for making me do these things and come out of my comfort zone.

It was a scary, but amazing time, and a spectacular rainbow came out for the event (in fact, it was a double rainbow, which I had never even heard of).

Being a bunch of city kids, this was an awesome sight for us.

Thanks to my wife for taking the short video of our journey today, and thank you to G-d for bringing me to this moment.  

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Skiing The Rainbow

Me and Wilson

This was a Monkey Mudslide.

The cup is my favorite--it's happy and says at the bottom, "Have Fun."

The drink was this combination of Malibu Coconut Rum, Coffee Liquor, Bailey's, and Chocolate and Cream.

OMG, do they give free refills on this stuff?  ;-)

Me and Wilson

Stupidest Holiday Gifts

Ok, this wins the prize for the stupidest holiday gift.

It comes from Brookstone, and it's sand. 

Yes, really--98% sand and 2% polymer to make it "soft and stretchy."

You can get one jar of sand (12 ounces) for $14.99 or be even more stupid and buy 2 jars for $25.

Just imagine all the fun you can have playing with the sand, and you don't even have to go to the beach or the dessert. 

The bus fare or gasoline you save on the trip pays for this glorious sand in probably just one or two visits. 

This is truly Pet Rock redux, where this guy sold 1.5 million rocks at the holiday time in the 1970's and became a millionaire. 

It's amazing the marketing and branding brilliance behind this.

Imagine, you can sell rocks and sand and there are millions of people that actually take this seriously and buy it. 

Next up, bottled flatulence (ok, I'll just say it...farts!) ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Stupidest Holiday Gifts

Like That Scarf

After having lunch with good friends, we're doing the Black Friday thing today.

Found this awesome scarf on Las Olas. 

It is handmade and made up of this individual squares of beautiful fabric. 

The store also had these gorgeous ties in a similar design. 

Prices for the scarf was something like $395.

I admired, but wasn't insane enough to buy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Like That Scarf

The Dancer and The Tablet

So we are at this Mediterranean Restaurant next to the beach.

We are sitting outside--it is a little chilly and we cozy up next to one of the fire poles to keep warm.

We weren't eating much; just a drink for our anniversary and something to munch on.

All of a sudden, my wife points to this lady from the next table who gets up and starts dancing provocatively.

You can see the sliver of ocean behind her, the night sky, and the cars and pedestrians are going by behind her.

There are multiple realities going on here:

She is in her own world--dancing to the music, swaying this way and that, and enjoying her femininity. 

On the other hand, the guy she's with is taking a video of her on his tablet computer--he seems more concerned with capturing the moment with his technology than enjoying his girlfriend. 

We are conscientious observers--I sort of wondered if the guy should've been paying more attention to the women who was wooing him than playing with his tablet. 

The other lesson that I can't help reaching is that cameras and microphones are truly everywhere--privacy is a complete myth!  

He is recording her, we are videoing them on our smartphone, and the restaurant is taping all of us on CCTV cameras, and NSA is laughing at us from Fort Meade. 

So if you want solitude, book a flight with Virgin Galactic. ;-)

The Dancer and The Tablet

The Sony Wig Nut

Sony has so missed the mobile technology revolution.

In desperation, Sony has filed a patent for the SmartWig.

How incredibly useful (uh, not)?

Your faux hairdo can dial your hairdresser and make your next appointment for you.

It can locate via GPS the nearest salon.

And the SmartWig can even take selfies while you admire yourself in the mirror.

While Sony is goofing around again, and hasn’t had a hit since the to die for Sony televisions of yore (and let's not forget the Walkman from 1980s), Google is moving out with bravado on Glass.

Google is getting display space for Glass in eyeglass retailers, and working with opticians to make prescription lens eye-Glass.

Let’s just say one company gets wearable technology and the other is hiding under wigs in The Technology Hall of Shame.

Then again, one customer may be interested in talking with Sony—the CIA for undercover operations.

Maybe a Smart Groucho Marx mustache that automatically shakes out the soup after you eat would be a cool new product, as well--go for it Sony!

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Annetta)

The Sony Wig Nut

A Dangerous Game of WMD

According to ArmsControl.org--in 1994, we reached a historic "agreed framework" with North Korea to "freeze operation and construction of nuclear reactors suspected of being part of a covert nuclear weapons program."

In return, the U.S. would phase out economic sanctions, North Korea would be supplied with 500,000 tons of fuel oil annually, and South Korea would build two lightweight reactors for them.

Fast forward just a decade--by 2005, North Korea declares that it has indeed manufactured nuclear weapons, which are then on display for the world in a nuclear test in 2006.

Today in the Washington Post, we herald another historic deal, this one with Iran that "freezes key parts of their nuclear program."

In return, Iran gets relief from economic sanctions.

Yet, even now as we celebrate this historic agreement, the Iranian President is not dismantling but rather demanding the right to keep their atomic program.

Moreover, just last week, according to USA Today, Iran's Supreme Leader Khamenei called Israel a "rabid dog" amid chants of "Death to America!"

Online, The Diplomat confidently says this time is different, "Iran is not North Korea," because "Iran is cosmopolitan" and "prides itself on international engagement."

Yet, according to PBS, The Islamic Republic of Iran is far from both of these with a "Supreme Leader who exerts ideological and political control over a system dominated by clerics who shadow every major function of the state."

And Amnesty International writes that Iran has a history of "widening crackdown on dissent that has left journalists, students, political and rights activists, as well as clerics languishing in prisons."

Lest we forget, that Iran is the country that held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days, threatened to annihilate Israel, denied the Holocaust, asserted that the U.S. itself was behind 9/11, and is the "most active state sponsor of terrorism" in the world.  

Oh, how very cosmopolitan!

While we all would hope and pray for a sincere and lasting peace with Iran, this agreement seems to spell a deja vu world of scary WMD cat and mouse, all over again.

(Source Photo: here)

A Dangerous Game of WMD

Six Dimensions of Personal Health

There was a wonderful interview in the Washington Post with leadership expert, Bob Rosen. 

One of the things that Rosen says is that there are six dimensions of personal and professional health that are vital to leadership.

These six dimensions of the person can also be associated with one's own personal architecture to ensure continuous health and maturity in each of these areas. 

I have taken these and created with my own photos, a little graphic to remind me of them. 

The six dimensions (with my definitions) are:

1. Spiritual - Serving G-d and doing what is right.
2. Emotional - Your feelings and ability to manage your state of mind, especially in trying situations.
3. Social - Interacting with other people in loving, caring, and sharing ways.
4. Physical - Taking care of your body through good nutrition, exercise, and healthcare.
5. Professional - Working and contributing to the world by serving a purposeful mission.
6. Intellectual - Learning and growing mentally by gaining knowledge and the ability to apply it.

I like how each of these is a a distinct contributing element of one's overall health, but also come together to form a coherent whole of human health. 

When all six dimensions are in good health, then a person has the foundations to live and excel. 

However, when one or more elements are not being properly taken care of or are out of balance with the others, then a person will not have the ability to maintain or advance themselves.  

Self-awareness and a commitment to doing your best in all six areas will help you grow as a person and leader. 

Together, these six areas can be associated with one's own personal architecture, whereby one plans and strives for health and maturity in each of them over time. 

(Source Graphic and Photos: Andy Blumenthal)

Six Dimensions of Personal Health

Noah's Ark - Must See!

Okay folks, this is great. 

I want to see movie's like this for the all Bible's stories. 

Applying the technology and special effects makes this just awesome.

More, more, more...love it. 

Noah's Ark - Must See!

Listening and Blessings

Two reflections from this week:

1. Listen to understand:
I heard a colleague talk about the importance of listening. There wasn't really anything new about that, except he went on to say, "Listen to understand, not to refute or resolve." The more, I thought about this, the more brilliant I realized this was. How often do we either not really listen to the other person? And when we do listen at all, aren't we most of the time jumping to either refute what they are saying or resolve their issue? The key though is to listen to understand. Ask questions. Get clarifications. Only once you really listen to the other person and understand what they are saying, can you begin to address the thoughts and feeling they are expressing to you.

2. G-d Blessed You:
Usually when I see people asking for help/money on the streets, they have signs--handwritten, often on cardboard or the like--that says something about their plight. Perhaps, they are homeless, lost their job, ill or disabled, have kids to support...and they are asking for your help and mercy. At the end of the sign or if you give them some change or a few dollars, they say thanks, but also "G-d bless you" in the future tense. And this is really nice to get a blessing in return for some basic charity and kindness. However, there is one poor person begging in downtown D.C., and he says it differently. His sign asks for help and says, "G-d blessed you" in the past-present tense. First, I thought maybe this was just a grammatical mistake, but then I realized what he was saying. G-d blessed you, so please give back to others. This wasn't a thank you wish to the other person, but rather a reason that you should give to begin with. Recognize how fortunate you are (and maybe you don't even necessarily deserve it), but G-d blessed you, so have mercy and give to others. 

Hope these reflections mean something to you the way they do to me, and have a good weekend everyone!

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Listening and Blessings

Nasty Flu Shot

I took my daughter for a flu shot last evening. 

We went through the typical drawn-out paperwork and long wait to get something so routine. 

When the medical practitioner finally arrived with the flu shot, there was a little baggy with all the acoutrements including alcohol wipe, band-aid, cotton, etc. 

As the lady starts taking out the items to get ready for giving the shot, she drops the cotton on the floor. 

She picks it up quickly, and pretending we didn't see, she quickly throws it back on the medical tray. 

Now I am watching...

She open the band-aid and places it at the ready on the side.

Then she get the syringe AND the cotton that had just fallen on the floor, ready in hand. 

As she is about to give the shot, I say, "You're not going to use the cotton on my daughter that just fell on the floor, are you?"

Her eyes look askance and she throws the cotton back down on the tray, and says, "Oh, of course not."

I spoke with my daughter afterwards about this as it was hard to understand how a medical practitioner could on one hand, be administering a helpful medicine to a patient, and at the same time, was about to use a dirty cotton on the wound afterwards.

What happened to people actually caring about people and taking pride in the jobs they do, rather than just being in it for the paycheck only?

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Sun Dazed)

Nasty Flu Shot

The Iranian Gambit

Important developments going on with Iranian Nuclear Crisis...

According to the Jerusalem Post, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu is asking for a deal that dismantles Iran's ability to prepare fissile material, the core of a nuclear bomb--which Iran has threatened to use to annihilate the State of Israel.  

This is in stark contrast to a mere suspension of enrichment activity or reduction of stockpiles that still leaves this dangerous nuclear capability in the hands of the radical Islamic Republic. 

After coming out of the Holocaust Museum, Yad Vashem, in Jerusalem with French President Hollande, Netanyahu said to Hollande:

"You said when you came out that the experience of the Holocaust places a very special responsibility on all of us. Francios, I want to tell you the burden it places on me. It is my duty to prevent anyone who credibly threatens to execute another Holocaust against the Jewish people. That is my obligation, but our common obligation for mankind and for our common future."

Further, Prime Minister Netanyahu stated:

"We live here. We know something about this region. We know a great deal about Iran and its plans. Its worthwhile to pay attention to what we say."

Less than 70 year after the Holocaust of six million Jews at the sadistic hands of the Nazi murders, there is no room for error with the Mullahs in Iran. 

It seems like we are coming to a conclusion on this soon, as the Jewish people have learned it is better to live by taking your best shot, than die by going like sheep to the slaughter. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to marsmet546)

The Iranian Gambit

Some Game This Is

I remember as a kid, my grandfather lived down the block from us on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. 

He was old and not in the best of health with a heart condition, hearing aids, and more. 

One day, he was coming home from the bank, and he went into the elevator in his building. 

He was followed by a punk, who after the elevator door closed, proceeded to grab my grandfather and choke him until he was unconscious. 

The thug took his wallet and left my grandfather on the floor of the elevator. 

Now, today I saw on the news about the Knockout Attack Game--and some "game" this is.

The attacker runs up behind the person unbeknownst and with full force slams their fist against a person head, knocking them unconscious, and when successful, this is done with one punch! 

In other cases, an entire gang will attack, punching and kicking a victim until they stop moving. 

While I couldn't locate the exact video that happened in a neighborhood in NY to a Jewish woman, this video of an attack on a Muslim girl in London about a year ago, approximates it very closely. 

While some victims of these attacks end up with broken jaws, skulls, shattered teeth, internal injuries, bleeding and more, others are not so lucky and end up dead. 

I never forgot what happened to my grandfather and the cowardly schmuck that attacked this old, helpless man--but at least, he apparently did it for the money. 

In these knockout attacks, when they ask the attackers why they do it, the response is for the fun and laughs. 

What a commentary of our society, when people brutally attack other people--not for money, revenge, self-defense, or principle--but simply to see others needlessly suffer and to take a form of intense joy in it. 

Perhaps, there are certain crimes for which the L-rd above must look down and mete out his own version of justice, in a way that restores order to this world of hope and despair.

Some Game This Is

Web 1-2-3

The real cloud computing is not where we are today.

Utilizing infrastructure and apps on demand is only the beginning. 

What IBM has emerging that is above the other cloud providers is the real deal, Watson, cognitive computing system.

In 2011, Watson beat the human champions of Jeopardy, today according to the CNBC, it is being put online with twice the power. 

Using computational linguistics and machine learning, Watson is becoming a virtual encyclopedia of human knowledge and that knowledge-base is growing by the day.

But moreover, that knowledge can be leveraged by cloud systems such as Watson to link troves of information together, process it to find hidden meanings and insights, make diagnoses, provide recommendations, and generally interact with humans.

Watson can read all medical research, up-to-date breakthroughs in science, or all financial reports and so on and process this to come up with information intelligence. 

In terms of computational computing, think of Apple's Siri, but with Watson, it doesn't just tell you where the local pizza parlors are, it can tell you how to make a better pizza. 

In short, we are entering the 3rd generation of the Internet:

Web 1.0 was as a read-only, Web-based Information Source. This includes all sorts of online information available anytime and anywhere. Typically, organizational Webmasters publishing online content to the masses. 

Web 2.0 is the read-write, Participatory Web. This is all forms of social computing and very basic information analytics. Examples include: email, messaging, texting, blogs, twitter, wikis, crowdsourcing, online reviews, memes, and infographics.

Web 3.0 will be think-talk, Cognitive Computing. This incorporates artificial intelligence and natural language processing and interaction. Examples: Watson, or a good-natured HAL 9000.

In short, it's one thing to move data and processing to the cloud, but when we get to genuine artificial intelligence and natural interaction, we are at all whole new computing level. 

Soon we can usher in Kurzweil's Singularity with Watson leading the technology parade. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Web 1-2-3

Survival Is More Than An iPhone

Please see a new article by Andy Blumenthal at Government Technology. 

We "need to learn ever new technology skills and simultaneously retain, old tried and true, core survival and self-sufficiency." 

This is a serious topic, and there will come a time when the lights go out and those who blend old and new skills will survive, while unfortunately, others who don't, will not. 

Hope you enjoy the article. 

Andy

(Source Photo: here with attribution to U.S. Army Africa)

Survival Is More Than An iPhone

Don't Send Parenting To The Cloud

So my youngest daughter is taking her SAT's.

Where did the years go?

As a parent, what's my role in helping her prepare?

With all the new technology out there, you'd think I was just a parental annoyance...yeah, in some ways I am. 

According to the Wall Street Journal, "parents are too tired, too busy--or too mystified to help" with homework. 

And now "digital tutors" are taking their place for about $24 to $45 per hour (and even prorated per minute).

For example, on Tutor.com you can get on-demand tutoring to text chat and do calculations on a shared screen with your kid. 

Tutor.com has about 1,200 tutors, 95% from Bangalore, India staffed by "moonlighting or retired teachers, college professors, or [other] professionals."

Other online resources include Khan Academy with educational videos, Chegg.com with answers to homework problems from 2,500+ textbooks, and StudyBlue.com for sharing "study guides, notes, and flashcards."

While these online tutoring resources can be a huge help for students, I think that parents can still play an important role. 

Recently, my daughter and I have carved out some time every night to sit down at the dining room table with books, scrap papers, and our own flash cards to study, together. 

What I am finding is that this is a really special time for us to bond and sort of be in this SAT rite of passage together, where I can provide emotional support and some structure for the studying.

We also have signed her up for a more formal review class as well as some online resources, but I am glad to be a parent to my children and not rely only on canned cloud solutions.

While I don't know most of the answers and she does--I take that as a good thing. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Don't Send Parenting To The Cloud

The Backlash Against Performance Reviews

So there is big backlash against employee performance reviews. 

Bloomberg BusinessWeek declares the annual performance review to be "worthless."

The performance review ritual is traced back to the 1930's with Harvard Business School Professor, Elton Mayo, who found that productivity and satisfaction of workers improved when they were measured and paid attention to. This was referred to as the Hawthorne Effect because the study was conducted at the Hawthorne Works of Western Electric outside Chicago.

Later in the 1950's, the Performance Rating Act institutionalized mandated performance reviews for federal workers, 

But studies in the last 2 decades have found employees (42%) dissatisfied with the process and even HR managers (58%) disliking the system. 

Clinical Psychologist, Aubrey Daniels, call the process "sadistic!"

The annual reviews are disliked for many reasons including the process being:

1) Arbitrary, subjective, and personality-driven rather than objective, meaningful, and performance-based.

2) Feedback that is too little and too late, instead of real-time when good or bad performance behavior occurs.  

3) A power tool that managers use in a "culture of domination" as opposed to something that really helps employees improve. 

4) Something used to punish people and build a case against employees to "get rid of you" rather than to reward and recognize them. 

At the same time, this week, the Wall Street Journal reported that Microsoft and other companies are getting rid of forced employee rankings.

The ranking system was developed by General Electric in the 1980's under Jack Welch and has been referred to as ""Stack Rankings," "Forced Rankings" and "Rank and Yank." 

Under this system, employees are ranked on a scale--with a certain percentage of employees (at GE 10% and Microsoft 5%, for example) ranked in the lowest level.  

The lowest ranked employees then are either let go or marginalized as underperformers getting no bonuses, equity awards, or promotions. 

"At least 30% of Fortune 500 companies continue to rank employees along a curve."

Microsoft is dumping the annual quantitative ranking and replacing it with more frequent qualitative evaluations. 

UCLA Professor, Samuel Colbert, says this is long overdue for a yanking at companies and managers' jobs is "not to evaluate," but rather "to make everyone a five."

While this certainly sounds very nice and kumbaya-ish, it also seems to reflect the poor job that managers have done in appraising employees fairly and working with them to give them a genuine chance to learn and improve, before pulling the rating/ranking trigger that can kill employees career prospects. 

A bad evaluation not only marginalizes an employee at their current position, but it limits their ability to find something else.

Perhaps, this is where the qualitative aspect really comes into play in terms of having frank, but honest discussions with employees on what they are doing well and where they can do better, and how they can get the training and experience they need. 

It's really when an employee just doesn't want to improve, pull their weight, and is undermining the mission and the team that performance action needs to be taken. 

I don't think we can ever do without performance reviews, but we can certainly do them better in terms of providing constructive feedback rather than destructive criticism and using this to drive bona-fide continuous improvement as opposed to employee derision. 

This is possible where there are participants willing to listen to a fair critique and work together on getting to the next level professionally and for the good of the organization. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Mediocre2010)

The Backlash Against Performance Reviews

From The Window In the Nursing Home

I visit the nursing home pretty often to see my mom who is there. 

While I try to focus on my mom and her needs, I do notice other patients there. 

The images are deeply impactful on me...here are ten that are on my mind today:

1) The husband and wife who are both in the home in a shared room--the wife is wheelchair-bound and the husband dutifully pushes her around the floor. This weekend, I saw them together at the nurses' station asking for some crackers. When the nurse came back with some individually wrapped crackers in cellophane, the couple took them and went off down the hall happy as clams.

2) The lady at the table who is overweight, but always asks for more food. She doesn't talk much except to ask for more dessert. She stares at the other patients and seems annoyed and upset with them.

3) The guy who was a lawyer, but now has dementia, and sits and talks half to himself and half trying to engage others, but all that comes out is sort of gibberish. So others just nod or say something to politely acknowledge him, but can't converse with him with any meaning. 

4) The lady in the room who sits in a chair hunchback. She never seems to leave the room or the chair. Sometimes, she watches TV and other times appear to be crocheting. Mostly she sits hunchback, looking uncomfortable, but settled for the long hall like that. 

5) The woman who sits outside her door in the hallway. She is in a wheelchair, and she doesn't say anything, but she stares at you while you walk down the hallway. She sits there watching--sitting and watching. 

6) The younger but still old disheveled guy. He comes into the dining room to eat, but gets food all over himself. He sits alone, always. He eats quickly, leaves half his food, and gets up and goes out while everyone else is still picking away at their food. 

7) The lady with a wall of baseball caps. She has no hair, maybe she has cancer, I don't know. She usually is in bed, sitting up. The caps look like they have a lot of meaning to her, but I'm not sure if it's because she's a sports enthusiast or why.

8) A lady in a wheelchair that pulls herself along down the hall. She puts one foot in front of the other in these baby steps motions, and the chair moves along, slowly, but at least she is mobile, somewhat. 

9) This weekend, I looked out the window of the home, and there was a woman on the sidewalk. She had fallen on the ground, on her butt. Her walker was next to her, but she could not get up. Some people were near here, apparently trying to get help, but not wanting to touch or move her themselves. I ran for the floor nurse, and she came to the window to see. She said is that so and so, which meant nothing to me, and then she ran off to help her get up. 

10) A lady sits downstairs by the glass windows--she is dressed up fancy like older healthy people are want to do. Next to her is an older gentleman in a turtleneck, but he is just visiting and is her son. They seem to be sort of wealthy as they sit upright in the high-back chairs and discuss family and what she's been eating at the home. They look askance at some of the other patients who are crying out in pain. 

The nursing home, like the hospital is a horrible place to be, even when you have to be there.

In both places, even the most caring doctors and nurses and attendants, cannot make up for the fact that you are a prisoner of age, failing health, and disability--and let's face it, even if many are nice or attentive, not everyone is. 

I am still unclear why people must suffer so--why we haven't found a better way to end good, productive, and loving lives.  

I am not sure that people are really even focused on this issue of old age, because it's not sexy, it's at the end anyway, and "they had the chance to live their lives."

Maybe, it's because we simply don't have the answers yet, can't afford what they would take, or we would just rather not deal with mortality, pain, and suffering when there are so many other things to do. 

But one day, we all will face the piper--and it would be comforting if we had better answers.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

From The Window In the Nursing Home