Your Bowling Help Desk At Your Service

This was the sign in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building Bowling Ally that I mentioned in a post yesterday.

[Note: I've removed the phone number so don't try calling.] 

Yeah, I've heard about a help desk for a lot of things, especially for Information Technology, but for bowling???

Thinking about calling a help desk for trouble with bowling [equipment], I couldn't help imaging how this may go and chuckling a little:

"Hello, this is the bowling help desk at your service--what is the nature of your bowling emergency?"

Or

"Press 1 if your bowling shoes are too tight.

Press 2 if you've dropped the bowling ball on your foot.

Press 3 if you've bowled 2 or more gutter balls in a row.

Press 4 if the bowling machine is in a frustratingly stuck position.

Press 5 if you've lost your bowling ball or need a replacement.

Press 6 if you need additional scoring sheets.

Press 7 if you're a lousey bowler and need bumpers to help your game. 

Press 8 if your fingers are caught in the ball and you can't get them out. 

Press 9 if you'd just rather be ice skating or going to the movies. 

Press the # key, if you need to speak to a bowling representative."

Lastly, I wonder if they open a help desk ticket for the bowling challenged and what their response time is. 

Yep, help is only a call away when you've got a bowling problem in the works. 

Now, if only they could fix the highly troubled DC Metro system--there should definitely be a robust help desk for that!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Your Bowling Help Desk At Your Service

Can't Find My Dentures

This was a funny sign this morning in the elevator.

Someone found a set of dentures on the table in the lobby!

Uh, what was someone doing taking out their dentures and putting them on a public table in the lobby? 

I remember my beloved Opa (grandfather) who had quite a set of dentures (years ago they couldn't as readily save people's teeth as they can today). 

When my sister and I would go over to my Opa and Oma for Shabbat lunch after synagogue, and sometime right before Birchas Hamazon (grace after meals), my grandfather would invariably end up taking out his dentures and we would all laugh together at how silly those things looked. 

But thank G-d for those dentures, beause I don't know how people would eat solid food or smile a non-gummy smile without them. 

Of course, I hope whoever lost their dentures in the lobby isn't going crazy searching for them, sees the lost and found sign, and claims them soon. 

Anyway, can you imagine going down to the lobby and seeing someone's false teeth just laying there randomly on the table or when they go to the front desk to claim their lost dentures, and the person behind the desk says, "Well Sir (or Madam), can you put them in your mouth and prove that they are yours?" ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Can't Find My Dentures

That's Getting A LIttle Personal

This was a funny advertisement hanging in Hot Topic in the mall. 

It says: "Get in our pants"--well, excuse you!

Using sexual come-ons to sell, sell, sell...is not a new marketing strategy. 

As they say in the biz world, "Sex sells!"

Perhaps a more targeted ad about quality, fit, and pricing would be more to the product point.

But why sell with facts, when you can sell with fantasy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

That's Getting A LIttle Personal

Stop Harassment Now

I took this photo on the Washington, D.C. Metro. 

"If It's Unwanted, It's Harassment."

Only a day or two later, some ladies came to me complaining that they had been harassed on the Metro.

Apparently, they had been on the platform waiting for a train and a young man was first staring at them, then coming around them menancingly, and then following them. 

Thank G-d, they got away, but it was a frightening situation that left them wanting to actually move away. 

Residents in the metro D.C area and customers of Metro should not have to ride in fear. 

We need more police and surveillance cameras on the Metro system now!

Signs are a great reminder, but law enforcement action is what is really needed and called for. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Stop Harassment Now

No Soup For You!

Remember the "Soup Nazi" in Seinfeld?

After some silly insulting encounter, the Soup Nazi refuses to give Jerry any soup saying in his deep accent, "No soup for you."

Well, when I walked in the local pizza store and saw this sign on the counter, I couldn't help but laugh a little.

It's the real thing...and it says, "Sorry No Soups Tonight."

And it's sort of sloppily written on a guest check and placed in a Coca Cola holder. 

I wasn't too disappointed with the news though, since who gets the soup at a pizza joint anyway?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

No Soup For You!

Cash And Books

I took this photo in downtown Washington, D.C. today.

It was interesting to me for a number of reasons.

First, the amount and variety of advertising here (and there was more that is not even pictured here) was a little bit incredible, especially in light of the single customer at the stand.

Second, this vendor is buying the books back from the university students at a hotdog stand--yeah, more than a little weird, no?

Aside from the fact that students pay an exorbitant amout for textbooks and then get pennies on the dollar back, now you are encouraged to make your transaction with a street vendor in the cold of December.

Anyway, you think anyone will notice this cash for books stand? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cash And Books

A Richy Rich Reward

Check out this lost dog sign in Las Olas.

Do you notice anything unusual?

Look at the amount of the reward for finding this canine.

---Yes, $10,000!!!

A healthy Teacup Yorkie can run you as much as $2,000.

So this reward is 5x that and this kelev is on meds!

Amazing the meaning of money and dogs. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Richy Rich Reward

Micromanaging Your Customers

Standing in line at the store the other day, I've got to to say that I sort of really resented this ridiculous check out line.

We are not in kindergarten and do not need little footsies and signs to tell us where to stand, how far apart, and who is up next in the line.

Actually, it's really not all that complicated--we can figure out to lineup in front of the counter and wait our turn civilly.

Micromanaging your customers (or for that matter your employees) is a pretty stupid idea.

Get your own house in order--and do a good job servicing the people that are paying you (or working to make you a success).

How about you take your little feet over behind the counter and get the line moving that much faster and stop making us wait so long to begin with to give you our business.

Happy Black Friday...loosen the reins a little won't you and you'll find a happier customer (and employee) base and make some more money in the process. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Micromanaging Your Customers

Turducken Is Real

So I thought Turducken was a joke (a fowl i.e. foul dish).

Everyone has regular turkey onThanksgiving, right--even if they don't like it!

Well maybe you get a pass if your vegetarian, vegan, or whatnot. 

But no, here a genuine advertisement at a lcoal eatery for--you got it--turducken.

Turkey, Duck, and Chicken--combined!

$130 bucks feeds 12...on second thought, I rather not. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Turducken Is Real

Give 'Em A Choice

This is a funny sign from Germany for exiting...you can go this way or that.

I guess that's a choice...even if they both take you to the same place.

It's like my dad said to me the other day, "Give 'em a choice: take it or leave it!"

It's true--we can choose--and if leave it, then we have another choice, "Walk away or run!" ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Martin Fisch)

Give 'Em A Choice

Cure Cancer B4 It Kills Again

Nice seeing these signs and slogans against cancer posted today in Washington, D.C.

Looking at the 2014 statistics, there were almost 1.7 million new cases and almost 687 thousand deaths in the U.S. alone for cancer including of the brain/nervous system, female breast, colon/rectum, Leukemia, liver, lung/bronchus, non-hodgkin lymphoma, ovary, pancreas, and prostate.

Way too much suffering and death from cancer...we must fight this killer. 

Whatever we can do to raise money, caring, and empathy...we should do. 

Run, walk, give, support, remember...even just hold someone's hand. 

Thank you American Cancer Society and everyone out there helping to find the cure. 

"14 million cancer survivors are celebrating birthdays this year."

Won't it be miraculous when everyone is a survivor in a world without cancer anymore. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cure Cancer B4 It Kills Again

More Information, Please.

This was a funny sign in a local medical facility. 

Printed: "Labcorp is no longer in this building."

Followed by in handwriting, "Then Where is it?"

Almost to the familiar reframe, "Well I dunno--do you? If not you--than who?"

These were plastered in multiple locations exactly like this. 

It's funny, we think we are giving people information--the stuff they need. 

But when it comes across to the other person, perhaps all we've done is left them with more questions than answers. 

In an age of information technology, business analytics, big data, and artificial intelligence...we still can't even seem to figure out the basics of managing information and communications with each other. 

Lots of products being heralded as the answer...including IBM's Watson, but aside from answering Jeopardy questions, the jury is still out on whether this can really evolve to true AI.

If it was just a technology issue, we may already be getting close, but the bigger piece of this puzzle is people really understanding the challenges they confront, and being able identify and work with the information to solve these. 

Then maybe we would finally have the answers or at least where it is! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

More Information, Please.

Who Makes Change Happen?

Well if "Station Managers do not make change" (happen), who does?

Personally, I like to see everyone think creatively about what they do and how they do it--looking for efficiencies and to create positive change, where warranted.

Not change for change itself...but where requirements have changed or methods and/or tools have changed to create opportunities or mitigate threats. 

While there certainly are "tied and true" ways of doing things, we are an evolving species, and change is fundamental to survival. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Who Makes Change Happen?

Not Just Business

This was a funny sign on the parking meter.

"All May Park. All Must Pay."

Another way of saying this is like at the dry cleaners, "No tickee, no shirtee!"

This reminded me of a conversation that I was having with some colleagues about whether individuals or organizations can be evil?

(Note: True story, but I've embellished for the sake of demonstration.)

One colleague said, "Individuals are not bad, but people in groups definitely [often] turn bad!"

Another said, "No individuals can be bad, really bad--think of Hitler and so many others who have murdered, tortured, raped, enslaved, and impoverished--it's the individuals that can and do turn an organizational culture bad."

A third person replied that, "Indeed, it can be the other way around as well, where bad organizations make or encourage it's people to do the wrong things--whether for profits, power, or punishment."

Then someone blurted out, "Well, business is business, right?" In other words, it's okay to do something wrong because everyone does it in business--that's the name of the game and what you have to do to compete and survive!

Then I said sort of annoyed at what the last person said, "Business is not business--that is our test to be G-dly, moral, and ethical in all our dealings [in our personal and professional lives]!"

Of course, we don't always succeed--no one does/we are not angels--but we have to try every time, learn and grow and become better people. 

If you do wrong, you will pay--whether in this world or the next. ;-)

Not Just Business

Closed And Closed

This is sort of hilarious.

Check out the signs on either side of the road.

- Right lane closed.

- Left lane closed.

Even more stupid, notice that the signs are reversed (the left closure sign is on the right side of the road and the right closure sign is on the left side of the road)...oops.

Thank G-d, there were three lanes--at least for a little while. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Closed And Closed

What Is The World Coming To?

This sign from a business on trendy Las Olas in Fort Lauderdale...for real.

Pay for the water you drink, the air you breath, and the doings you leave behind. 

Money makes the world go round, but what happened to love, friendship, and brotherhood. 

It only goes as far as the restroom apparently! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Is The World Coming To?

Decide To Win

This was an interesting sign + sticker in Washington, D.C.

It asks to Stop Fighting Congress or perhaps stop the fighting in Congress.

The point is to come together and collaborate for a better decision, rather than have bad decisions made by just one side or have indecision altogether.

The New York Times had an Op-Ed over the weekend called The Great Unraveling about how we are living amidst hatred, fighting, disintegration, disease, and disorientation. 

And we are watching it as if dazed and confused--paralyzed as a nation taking maybe a baby step here or there, but with seemingly no solid committment to do anything to really change, improve, better, or win. 

Scared by lost lives and treasure since 9/11...we cannot bear to lose or waiver in our resolve because of weariness or despair.

Their is a lot to get done...for ourselves and future generations.

We've got to stop fighting our demons and each other and instead face up, man up, to the myriad of global problems that confront us. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Decide To Win

Who Can Resist?

So this food truck in downtown Washington D.C. is plastered with this Mac Attack signage. 

The noodles are sticking up and out of everything (including the "A" in Attack).

And the gooey cheese is dropping off the noodles and letters. 

While I didn't see anyone around the truck buying early in the day, I have a feeling the line forms at lunchtime. 

Really now, who can resist the temptation of a good mac and cheese? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Who Can Resist?

The Most Troubling Sign

I took this photo outside a bathroom at a local facility around Washington, D.C.

This truly is one of the most troubling signs I think you can find, especially when you have to do your thing. 

Why you can't use the bathroom, even if you say pretty please, I don't know.

But I would say, Mr. Toilet here should put his hands down and let people in--for use and not abuse. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Most Troubling Sign

Upside Down in D.C.

So coming downtown this week in D.C., I see this quite unhelpful posted sign. 

If you can read upside down, while rushing down a busy street with a million and one things on your mind for the day, it says, "Sidewalk Closed. Use Other Side."

Of course, the people flowing speedily down the streets in the morning, were still walking on this sidewalk, despite the construction and potential dangers. 

But in a way this reminds me of a bigger question here--is this really a sign of the times?

Today, I read in the Wall Street Journal about continued problems with Healthcare.gov--no, not related to the crashing websites, exemptions and delays, parts being overturned (such as with the contraception mandate), low enrollment (particularly after accounting for over 5 million people that lost their coverage with the new law and in effect had to sign up), but now in terms of thousands of people who signed up not getting their benefits due to continued problems with the enrollment system.

This is not just an issue for this party or that, but rather matters of government that we as a unified nation must tackle togther to grow our capabilities and competitiveness econically, militarily, and socially. 

Are the signs pointing us in the right direction and what streets should we be going down as a nation in order to succeed? 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Upside Down in D.C.