Making a Right, Left, or Straight

This was a funny sign to an Ethiopian cafe in downtown Washington, D.C. 

"When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left."

(and next to it is another sign that says, "Money isn't everything, but it keeps the kids in touch.")

So what type of person are you?

When the going gets tough and nothing is going right, where do you go--to the coffee shop, door on the left--or more seriously do you:

- Close your eyes and keep marching forward like a good soldier?

- Get scared off, turn around, and run the other way?

- Take a break or slow down, stopping long enough to figure out what's wrong, and come up with solutions? 

Maybe you do a little of all three--sort of the Curly Shuffle. 

But aside from faith in G-d (and coffee-drinking), perhaps two really critical traits for success in life are resilence in the face of adversity and your problem-solving skills.

That doesn't mean that you never plow on or turn back--these are appropriate at times too--but that you know when to turn right, left, or make a straight dash to the goal line. ;-)

(Source Photo: Danielle Blumenthal)

Making a Right, Left, or Straight

Relationships Matter Most

So if I have only learned one thing from work and office politics...it is that relationships matter to results!

And not only that they matter, but that they matter the most. 

Results are great and important; however if they come at the expense of relationships or it's a "burn the bridges" type deal--then the results are not just tainted, but perhaps will be doomed to fail anyway and all the more so. 

The way we treat others is paramount to what we do. 

G-d watches us--and He/She will judge us accordingly. 

Every interaction with others is a test for us. 

How do we speak to and act with another one of G-d's loving creations. 

Treating people well does not need to come at the expense of results--rather it is the secret sauce to getting results. 

This doesn't mean that you have to be liked or loved, but that you do the right thing and for the right reasons--great deeds come with truly best intentions. 

Integrity is not just a word--it is a life principle!

When you treat people badly--how do you think that impacts the office and the ultimate mission?

Success is people and product.

And life has a funny way about it with karma being ever present.

(Source Photo: here with attribution to PoYang) 

Relationships Matter Most

Work For It

This was an astute fortune cookie this weekend:

"The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work."

It reminded me of what my dad used to tell me that:

"Nothing, in life, is easy."

Or as my mother-in-law says:

"The world owes you nothing!"

Basically, the messages are similar that we have to work hard for what we want in life.

You have to believe in your goals and your mission. 

And follow through with rock solid determination and perserverance.

It seems in life that almost as soon as one challenge is over the next is ready to begin.

Got to have faith, pray for G-d's guidance, and be strong. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Work For It

The Need For Speed

In the gym this morning, I watched Joel Osteen giving his Sunday sermon on the monitor. 

The guy is a genius--always on message, always inspiring hope, always uplifting the masses. 

Today, he spoke about acceleration. 

The idea was that no matter how deeply bad our situation in life (e.g. illness, debt, demoted) and no matter how many months or years it would normally take us to recover or get out of it, G-d can accelerate things so that we are healed, solvent, or promoted tomorrow. 

He didn't say this, but as I understand it, G-d is above time and space, and so he can move you faster out of your funk then anyone would normally think.

Osteen gave the analogy of a bow an arrow, and the further back you are pulled--the more pressure and tension you are under in life--then the further and faster, G-d can propel you forward. 

To me it's interesting that when we are enjoying a wonderful moment in life, that we wish time would slow or completely stop, so we could savor the good times that much longer or just "stay in the moment forever."

And at other times, when we are down and suffering, the days of despair and defeat can drag on and on, and it seems like the hours and days just don't pass fast enough...it's almost like torture in that it seem to go on forever. And that is when, we hope and pray for a speedy resolution to whatever ails us--we just want to be free from the problems, the illness, the suffering--and so if only, we could leap forward in time and this "would all be over." 

If you are happy, life is too short.  But if you are in pain and suffering, every moment can be torture.

So if we are worthy, time can magnify and be an accelerant for prolonging the good times and getting out of the bad times (or G-d forbid, it can work in reverse as well--shortening the good times in life and extending out the bad ones). 

Similarly, long life can be a blessing if we are healthy and able to enjoy a real quality of life or it can be grueling for those in pain and suffering. 

My wife told me about this news item from a couple of days ago, where a guy won the lottery, but shortly after was murdered--his life cut short--in a home invasion (this "lucky" guy never got to enjoy his winnings).

G-d who controls time (and space) has quite a lot of leeway to test us or meet out justice--just speed things up or slow things down and the experience and feelings are magnified accordingly. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to spitfirelas)

The Need For Speed

The Science Of The Interview

Job interviews seem to have evolved into elaborate psychosocial and behavioral tests.

Almost as if there is an exact science behind trying to pick "the winners" from "the losers." {hate those harsh terms about people]

Many questions look at how quickly the interviewee thinks on their feet, how prepared they are for the interview, and how well they present themselves for the job.

However, my question is whether these things are truly determinant of the fit between the person and the job, the culture, and the supervisor and team, as well as indicative of integrity of the person, their work ethic, or how well they would actually perform in said job. 

The interviewer proudly blurts out from his or her script:

TELL ME ABOUT...

- A time that you came from from work and said "I completely nailed it--a home run out of the park!"

Or

-  A time that you came from work and said "Oh shit, I completely screwed everything up."

Ah, like work--or life for that matter--is generally that black and white.

Are we forgetting about the 99% of the time that people go in the office, put in a solid day's work for a solid day's pay--and did a good job, made a decent contribution, and got along with the team. 

Also, let's face it, the vast majority of people are not the Einsteins or Steve Jobs of this world. 

They don't come to the interview having invented the driverless car or negotiated the end to World War II.

How about this question...

"Why do you want to work here?"

I heard someone actually asked this question about a job working in mining regulation--yeah right, your and everyone else's dream job. 

What an incredibly narcissistic question, where the interviewer is looking to hear about how great their organization is or their department is, how superb a leader he/she is known to be, and why the person just will fit in perfectly to a place that alas they probably really know very little about from an insider's perspective.

Okay, let's try another one...

"Where do you see yourself in 5-years?"

Let's see I want to be kissing your ass in 5-years and actually until the day I die or maybe better what your really afraid of hearing is that I'm gunning for your and would like to take your job and show this company what a real XYZ can do to improve things around here. 

Here's another one a colleague told me about recently...

Pretend your David Ogilvy and sell me on one of your ideas. You have 15-minutes to prepare. 

Ok let's put the pressure on, because the candidate coming in today for the job interview with a mortgage and two kids at home to feed isn't enough.  Do these conditions really demonstrate what the person could do with amble time and preparation and for something they really believe in?

Let's not forget to give an IQ and personality test to the person, so we can peg their intelligence and Myers Briggs or perhaps we should give them some puzzles and let them really sweat with the pieces. 

Let's face it we've all had some people wow on the interview and on paper and turn out to be duds on the specific jobs, and others that you weren't so sure about that turned out superbly.  

Assessing people is hard and many people are great at the poker game of landing the offer. 

It's the interviewers job to look beyond the playbook and the acting, and try to see the real person sitting in front of them.

Yes, presentation is important, but even more so can we get down to the work ethic and the integrity of the person?  What they are good at and where do they have weaknesses? Are they able and willing to learn and grow?  What do they like to work on and what do they recoil from?  How do they relate to others and can they get along?  When they face problems, challenges, and conflicts, can they and are they willing to work through it? 

I don't know any supervisor that hasn't hit the jackpot on some hires and made mistakes on others...those that claim they've made an actual science out of bringing on the absolute talent--I wonder how well they do in their next interview. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Science Of The Interview

I Am Doing

Today, a disabled man asked the lifeguard at the pool, "How are you doing?"

The lifeguard couldn't understand or fully hear the disabled man who had to repeat the question multiple times.

Then, the lifeguard responded, "I am doing well. How are you doing?"

The disabled man with a blank to sad look on his face says, "I am doing."

His response of just "doing" (not well, good, or fine) was like just going on day-to-day amidst very challenging life circumstances of illness and disability--just in a state of being, but certainly not feeling like he was thriving in his current life. 

It reminded me of my own parents, survivors of the Holocaust. 

After the horror and loss of the Holocaust everything, including coming to this country without a dime or a job was just a cakewalk in comparison. 

For 25-years, my dad would never even go to the doctor. 

He would say, "G-d is my doctor!"

Only later in life, when all his friends were sick or failing, and my mom was so sick with Parkinson's would my dad respond to people's questions of how he was, by saying simply, "Surviving!"

And then often adding, "We are part of the survivors' club."

When we're young, healthy, and vibrant, the world seems too small compared to what we think we can do and accomplish.

That's good--it gives us the thrusters in life to go as far as we can with accomplishments and progress. 

As we age though, the realities of life and health come into vision and we realize that we can't lift cars with one hand (anymore) or fly lightening speed with just our cape around the globe--we're mortal. 

This doesn't mean that we can't do great things for ourselves and the world at any age and with any (dis)ability, just that it many not be as simple or as easy any longer--we have to fight harder and be part of the survivor's club. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

I Am Doing

It's The Way You Look At Things

It's the old saying, "Is the glass half empty or half full?"

You can be a positive Peter or a negative Nellie. 

Your choice--or disposition, perhaps. 

Last week one day when the weather was bad out and I was entering the indoor pool for my laps, someone said to me, "The worse it is out there, the better it is in here."

And he was right, you can complain about the weather or whatever, but you can appreciate having great indoor facilities or just a roof over your head. 

If you look up, you can be inspired to reach for the next rung, and if you look down you can be grateful for how far you've already made it. 

Also, however bad off you might be, there are always others who are worse off. 

As a kid, I remember hearing about the person who was missing a hand and feeling bad about themselves, until they meet someone who was missing both arms. 

I do recall in actuality riding the NYC subways and poor people would come through the end doors between the cars (not allowed on the DC Metro) to go begging from money through the train--the unbelievable thing was that they were just a stump of a body from the waste up (no lower body whatsoever!) getting around by sliding themselves on a skateboard inches of the ground--can you imagine that? 

Perspective...my father used to say, "Smile and the whole world smiles with you."

Sometimes just the motion (even if it's just an act) of putting on that happy face can actually transform you to being happier. 

No, not a placebo effect, but like the Jewish notion that from doing can actually come the feeling.

In other words, just try--there is so much to be positive about and thankful for--not just on Thanksgiving--coming up next week--but all year round. 

Life is a journey full of learning and growing--not a destination. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

It's The Way You Look At Things

Does Every Problem Have A Solution?

So someone said something interesting to me yesterday.

They were going off about this and that problem in the world. 

Then seemingly exasperated by the current and desperate state of affairs, they go "You know what? Not every problem has a solution."

And that really took me aback.

As a student and then a professional, I have always prided myself on looking for a solution to every problem. 

Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we don't, but I was always taught to try!

Now someone says to me this earth-shattering news that maybe there is not a good solution out there for every catastrophic problem.

So this got me thinking...

Maybe some problems are just too big or too complex for our mortal minds to even understand or our supercomputers to really solve. 

Or perhaps sometimes things have gone too far or are too far gone, and we can't always easily just turn back the clock.

Are there some things that we can't really make right what we did so wrong for so long, despite the best intentions now. 

And in life are some things just a catch-22 or a zero-sum game--where every way forward is another dead end or it has consequences which are too painful or otherwise unacceptable. 

This sort of reminds me of the sick brutal Nazi in the Holocaust who took a women with two beautiful young children to the side and said, "Choose!"

"Choose what?" she innocently replies.

And the sadistic Nazi pulling out his gun says, "Choose which of your children will live and which will die, you have 30 seconds or I kill them both!"

Indeed, some problems have no good solution as hard as that is for me to hear or accept.  

All we can do is our best, and even when we can't satisfactorily solve those completely vexing problems to us (because some things are not in the realm of the possible for mere mortals), we have to continue to go forward in life because there really is no going back. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Does Every Problem Have A Solution?

Why Did G-d Create The World?

So we met the Rabbi at Starbucks for a coffee and conversation. 

We talked about such a wide variety of topics--the Ten Commandments, the laws of Shabbat, driverless cars and smartphones, women's minyan (prayer services), and even LGBT.

Not sure how this came up, but at one point the Rabbi turns to us and asks, "Why did G-d create the world?"

Taken a little off guard by this very big question, I blurted out, "To get to the other side!"

I thought he was going to fall off his chair, and then we all laughed. 

But then we started to discuss some of the traditional answers like G-d out his infinite love created us with a spark of himself.

In very mortal terms, I guess maybe it's not so fun to be G-d (omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent) but be alone in the universe.

By creating us, His children, he gave the gift of life, learning, and growth for us to emulate the Divine. 

What about all the terrible suffering?

Perhaps just part of our tests, trials, and tribulations to ultimately grow our souls. 

Still it's a tough world. 

I wonder maybe "to get to the other side"--for us to get to Heaven--isn't such a bad answer after all (even if it comes from the chicken crossing the road joke). ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Did G-d Create The World?

There You Are

So my niece forwarded this over, and I thought it was really worth sharing...

It's about how our lives are really a bunch of building blocks, and each thing we do contributes to the next step.

So we have to be careful all along the way to do the right thing--so we can achieve the results we want and can be proud of.

It goes like this:

"Watch you thoughts; they become words.

Watch you words; they become actions.

Watch you actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

Sometimes, we ask ourselves how we got to where we are today--almost as if we are surprised--but the reality is that most of the time, we are going through our lives inch by inch and step by step in an incremental and causal fashion. 

Yes sh*t happens--bad things (and good things), and they test and challenge us and take us to the next playing level.

But for the most part, we didn't just arrive at this moment out of the blue, but rather given what G-d has given us, we mold ourselves brick by brick....until there we are. ;-)

(Thank you to Chana Rivkah Herbsman and Minna Blumenthal)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

There You Are

Morning Entertainment DC

So this morning there was an interesting banjo player in downtown DC.

He was playing and this little dog in the shopping cart behind him was jumping around dancing. 

Sometimes I wonder as I get older:

- Will I remember all these scenes from my day-to-day life?

- Will they seem real or more like a surreal fantasy?

- Will I feel that I stopped "to smell the roses" or simply hurried on by doing all my things?

In each person a soul--but do we see the spirit or just the bodily facade--somebody homeless trying to get by, a simple distraction, street entertainment, fleeting fears of mental illness or other dangers, just an annoyance maybe, or a handout for someone in need. 

Ever wonder who are you and why are you deserving (or not) to have the fancy suit, tie, shoes, and bag, nice haricut, and are going to a cushy job and fat paycheck, while someone else is standing on the corner playing the banjo?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal) 

Morning Entertainment DC

Everyday, A Catch-22

I took this photo of this guys' cool Catch-22 bag on the Metro in Washington, D.C. yesterday. 

Catch-22 was made famous in the book of the said name by Joseph Heller.

Essentially a Catch-22 is an unsolvable problem.

In the book for example, military servicemen in WWII can apply for a discharge if they are verifiably crazy, but the sheer act of applying for a discharge shows you are not crazy. 

Other examples of a Catch-22 are locking your keys in the car and you can't unlock the door to get them or losing your glasses but now you can't look for them.

In life, it seems like we are constantly facing Catch-22's, however not solving them is not an option...we must come up with a workable solution.

At work and in school, we compete to get ahead, yet we must team, cooperate, and collaborate with those very same folks that we are competing with. 

At home with children, we need to teach our children often difficult lessons of right and wrong, patience, discipline, and safety, even while we have overflowing feelings of love for them and just want to hug them and give in to them. 

With spouses, as our love and lives build over the years, we grow together and become ever more interdependent on our partners, yet we need to maintain some healthy independence and self at the same time. 

With career, are we advance ourselves so that we can provide well for our families, we must balance work-life, so that we aren't just bringing home a paycheck, but are actually emotionally there for our loved ones. 

The list of life's conundrums goes on and on, but rather than throw up our hands in defeat, we have to fight on and come up with solutions that are best fit to the challenges we face...there is no discharge just because you feel crazed or need to confront something hard...you need to solve the dilema and then you can go home. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Everyday, A Catch-22

Understanding Disability

So true story...

There is a wonderful lady in the workplace...one of the nicest people. 

Unfortuantely, she has a disability and it is not easy...at times, she expresses to me the pain and the challenges, but always she maintains the best attitude and is an inspiration to everyone here. 

Not to compare, because thank G-d, I have been so blessed, but with the hip replacement and various complications, I have come to better understand physical pain and difficult mobility. 

Sometimes, as people do, we ask, "Why?"--and often we just come to the refrain that "G-d must have his reasons"--to teach us and to grow us in some way. 

Well, in speaking with this lovely women, she must have heard me really listening and understanding or seen my empathy with her, because at one point, she starts nodding and goes almost with surprise, "You really do understand."

Then she adds something about it being so odd for a manager to understand these things. 

I was so humbled by what she said, but more important. I felt a light bulb go on over my head. 

Why does G-d give us the challenges we face in life (physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, etc.)?

Because it helps us to truly understand and emphasize with other human beings...to be compassionate, caring, and giving (not self absorbed, narcissist, and me-me-me!)

In a sense, only by knowing the pain and suffering of others (or some elements of it--"Been there," "Experienced it," "I Know where you're coming from!"), can we substantially make that ultimate human and spiritual connection.

No, I am not saying we all have to be in horrible pain and misfortune--G-d forbid--just that the reasons for pain and suffering in life is not completely a mystery. 

My father used to say, "If we didn't have suffering, we wouldn't know or appreciate how good we have it the rest of the time." 

But it's also that we won't know or understand the challenges our neighbors, friends, and colleagues have--and adequately care for and about them.

G-d in his infinite wisdom has his ways to teach us--it should be with ultimate mercy, in good health and peace, and not pain and suffering--but when we oursleves are challenged, doesn't it open our eyes to see others and the world in a whole new and "better" way? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Understanding Disability

At Peace Amidst Suffering

There is something very smart about Buddhist-thinking. 

(And frankly IMHO, can conceptually mesh very well with Judaism.)

Buddhists nobly accept that life is very much about suffering. 

That greed and evil cause human suffering.

And that we need to reflect, repent, learn, and grow from this as human being with spiritual souls inside us. 

Moreover, that we should have compassion on others, understanding their suffering, even as we experience or remember our own (may G-d have mercy).

This photo taken by at the DC Folk Festival captures well the suffering all around us.

At times, it seems that we are under attack from all sides. 

But like the Buddha at the center, we must submit ourselves to our maker, endure and work to be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings--and to help others achieve the same. 

Yes, maybe a lot easier said then done especially when we are in the throes of it all, but what a noble life we can live and go to the other side with, if we can but learn this. ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

At Peace Amidst Suffering

Who Can Resist

It's the age old image of an angle sitting over one shoulder telling you to control yourself and do what's right and a little devil hanging over the other telling you to indulge and do whatever you want. 

The New York Times says that regardless of the push and pull of these two forces in our lives, we can learn to show restraint and stay goal-oriented.

By seeing the long-term rewards of good behavior, we can avoid pigging out in the moment. 

With Kids, it's called the Marshmallow Test--those who can resist eating a marshmallow for 15 minutes, get two marshmallows to enjoy later!

For adults, it may be that those who avoid the cake and ice cream today will live healthier and longer in the future. 

In Yiddish, there is the term sitzfleisch that refers to our ability to sit still and get our work done. 

The point is that if we can distract and distance ourselves from the indulgences of the moment, we can focus on the important things we really want to achieve with our lives. 

Of course, this is always easier said than done, because the two forces are both powerful and can be convincing.

For example, how many times can you hear, "Enjoy life a little, you aren't going to live forever" or "You've worked so hard, you deserve a little break", or "Come on, no one is perfect"...before you give in to a little excess? 

We are all tested in life, and we must try our best to pass as many as we can with flying colors--probably success is a healthy balance between living a little today in the here and now and working and saving abundantly for tomorrow's marshmallows.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Who Can Resist

G-d, Thinking Of You

I saw this on the side of a car and liked it--simple and to the point:

"Praise G-d"

My father used to tell me that "There are no atheists in a foxhole"--basically every one shits their pants when that tank rolls overhead.

There is a tendency to turn to G-d when we feel we need him--when times are bad--but then sort of forget about him when things are okay again, and we feel like we have it all under control.

Even when things are bleak, it can be easy to lose faith in anger and despair. 

So challenge #1 is to remember him in good times and bad--we are in his hands, always. 

In terms of how we praise G-d?

Some do it in prayer, others in deed.

That leads to challenge #2--to speak and act with consistency and sincerity. ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

G-d, Thinking Of You

Monday Blues

This was a funny sign on the large computer display overhung in a prominent medical facility around Washington, D.C. 

I remember as a kid, Monday's were notorious for being called "Blue Monday."

Further, Blue Mondays were in stark contrast to Sunday Fundays!

Already on Sunday evenings, many people would start getting the doldrums and sort of want to just mellow after 5 or 6 pm--I think mostly to deal with the anxiety of a new week. 

My father always used to tell me never to worry, instead to have faith in G-d that he will always do what is best for you--essentially, that faith and fear do not mix. 

I don't know about wanting to "break up" with Monday, but it would sure be nice if the week instead started with Tuesday. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Monday Blues

Garbage In, Repair The World Out

I'm sure you know the saying, "Garbage In, Garbage out"--in other words what you put into something is what you get out.

In this case, I took a photo of a garbage truck--of all things--that had prominently plastered on its side, "Tikkun Olam - Repair the World."

That is quite a positive message to put on a garbage truck!

Maybe that is our challenge in life, to make good things happen from the garbage that life often throws our way. 

Make something sweet like lemonade out of something sour like lemons.

This is not easy without some sugar, but in life, we need G-d to supply the raw ingredients and we add the elbow grease. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Garbage In, Repair The World Out

Let It Be

I remember as a kid, when I was around 10 years old, we moved, and I had to change schools, and there was an adjustment period. 

My father used to tell me a joke in the morning before school about these two grandmothers kibbitzing.

And one tells the other about how her grandson hates going to school. 

She goes on to say, "The students hate him, the teachers hate, it's just horrible."

The other grandmother replies, "Well then, why doesn't he just tell the principal?"

The first grandmother answers, "He is the principal!"

So this was a lesson to me about how no one has it so perfect in life--whether you're the kid, teacher, or even the principal, everyone has their challenges (and they may actually not look all that differently in the larger context of things). 

Basically, in life we must work to make things better where we can, but also have to accept the things we cannot change (and thank G-d, people are pretty adaptable, expecially given some time). 

While, we can try to divine the future by asking "What's going to be?"

Generally speaking, we can't fully know the answers in life before we even have the questions.

We've got to take it as it come, where we can--do our best to make a tangible, positive difference in the world--and with the rest, "let it be."

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Let It Be

Love, Strength

This has been an enormously tough year with the loss of my mom, my dad going into assisted living, and my hip replacement and complications.

I have found myself torn from my normal routine--my structure, my discipline--and thrown instead into a world of unknowns, hopes, and definitely prayers. 

Throughout, my family and close friends have stood by me--as I gave the eulogy for mom, as I moved my father out of his loving home, and as I growled in pain with the osteoarthritis and then joint replacement.  

When my daughter took my hand telling me all be well, when my youngest drove me to the doctors and PT, and when my wife fought for my care--I feel eternally grateful to have these people in my life.

With all the technology in the world, there is nothing like a human being to reach out and grab a hold off. 

One of my colleagues asked me what I have learned from all of this, and I'd say three things:

- Take time to reflect on the direction of your life and work to make the tough changes while you're able.
- Empathize with the plight of others, be merciful and compassionate, and help where you see the slightest opportunity. 
- Be sincerely grateful for everything you have and remember who is the Master of all. ;-)

(Source Photo: Michelle Blumenthal)

Love, Strength