Duck The Bullet

So I learned that there are at least 2 things to be mindful of when it comes to a firing squad:

1. Never get between a man and his firing squad -- sometimes, the judgment has already been passed, the victim blindfolded and tied, the trigger(s) already pulled back and the victim is too far gone to save.  Don't step in front of the bullet!

2. When it is a circular firing squad, rise above it! -- when people are engaged in self-destructive, internal disputes, recriminations, and taking pot shots at each other,  you need to either duck or rise above the fray and be the bigger man/woman.

Shooting the messenger, the interventionist, or each other just leaves a lot of spilt blood.
  
Save yourself and stay focused and determined to fight for the issue, when others are simply determined to take someone out back and put the bullet through their head. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Duck The Bullet

Third-World Office

So hooray for paper towels. 

A good workspace is definitely conducive to productivity and morale. 

That means cleanliness, open collaborative spaces, quiet work areas/offices, ample supplies, and obviously good technology. 

I've been in world-class institutions in terms of their mission, but that were third-world in terms of their work conditions. 

In one place, the bathroom toilets kept getting clogged with paper towels, so they got rid of them altogether, which forced the employees to use toilet seat covers for hand towels--yes, believe it!

Of course, at least we had running water, but there was also often flooding in the cubicle areas and the windows were nailed shut--high-tech security, not. 

In another place, in the private sector, I remember a new CFO coming in and being so cheap that he actually got rid of the milk and creamer from people's coffee. 

Talking about pennywise and dollar foolish. 

Don't these institutions get that the way you treat people impacts the way they respond to their work.

How can we be the Superpower of the planet and can't provide decent, normal work conditions to our workers. 

It goes without saying that treating people with respect, dignity, and value should be happening all the time, but doesn't.

We're not even talking six-figure bonuses and stock options either--just treat people like human beings and not indentured slaves or cattle. 

Wake up America--you're people are worth working plumbing, paper towels, and some milk and creamer for their coffees and really a heck of a lot more than that. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Third-World Office

Balancing Change and Stability

So new leaders frequently want to come into town like a knight in shining armor riding speedily on their white stallions to "save the day." 

Being new and needing to prove themselves, change and quick results are the imperative.

The problem is that fast, quick wins can be mistakenly and superficially achieved while sacrificing longer-term organization success.  

We push people to hard, too fast, and without the underlying care and emotional feeding to duly support the rainbow in the sky changes being sought. 

People are human beings that need to be brought along in a unified manner and with a solid infrastructure and not plowed over for the sake of some short-term gains.

You can push for change so hard--you can crack the whip and you can demand what you want when you want--but rest-assured that you are leaving a great pile of destruction in your wake. 

Performance results are built by maintaining a sane balance between change and stability--pushing others to do more with less has to be replaced instead with getting out front yourself and pulling the organizational weight at a measured pace so that workers aren't trampled by the raw, unbridled ambition of the leadership. 

You may have a great scorecard of accomplishments, but they may be the tip of what is otherwise an iceberg of discontent and disaster beneath. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Balancing Change and Stability

Dysfunction Is The Starting Point

A very smart speech today in synagogue by Rabbi Haim Ovadia. 

He connected to this week's reading from Genesis in the Torah.

It was a commentary about our forefathers and mothers and what the stories in the Bible teach us. 

As we know, these people while righteous and holy, were not perfect people or families. 

Thinking about these, some examples that come to mind about the many tests, challenges, and tragedies in their lives:

- Adam and Eve eating the forbidden apple in the Garden of Eden

- Noah getting drunk and his son, Ham, seeing his nakedness and telling his brothers

- Abraham and Sarah's doubting (i.e. laughing) that G-d would give them a child

- Isaac lying to Avimelech about Rivkah being his sister (similar to what Abraham said about Sarah)

 - Jacob buying the birthright and stealing the blessing from Esau

- Shimon and Levi killing the people of Shechem for Hamor raping their sister

- Joseph's brothers being jealous of him and throwing him in the pit and selling him into slavery

- Judah sleeping with Tamer, the wife of his firstborn 

And so on. 

Rabbi Ovadia said we should keep 4 things in mind about the Biblical figures and families to learn for our own:

1) Context - There is a context to what we do. We all have histories that involve difficulties, challenges, illness, abuse, PTSD, and so on.  The things we do and how we react later in life are anchored in this context. 

2) Dysfunction - Every family (and I would add person, organization, and institution) is dysfunctional.  There is no perfection out there (except G-d). Functional would mean like a computer, we input-process-output towards a certain function.  However, as people, we are not automatons, but instead work out our dysfunction through our striving to love, have relationships, learn and grow. 

3) Responsibility - Whatever our challenges and dysfunctions, we are responsible for what we do--our actions.  We can't just blame history or others.  Our role is to face up to our lot in life and take responsibility for what we do.  It our life and circumstances to make or break us. 

4) Communication - In dealing with life and it's challenges, communication is key to dealing with things. I would argue that communication is just a part of many critical success factors like trust, determination, hard work, emotional intelligence, being giving, integrity, etc.  But certainly, communication is a key aspect in how we work out our issues with others and try to build function from inherent dysfunction. 

The honestly of the Bible in telling us the flaws of it's heroes and heroines--our ancestors--is one of the things that make it such a source of wisdom for us as well as demonstrating the truthfulness of it being G-d given to us.

The bible doesn't sugarcoat who we are and what we have to deal with--it is the Book of G-d that is a roadmap for us to learn from and do good with in our own lives. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Dysfunction Is The Starting Point

Crazy World Of Work

This was a funny sign. 

"You don't have to be crazy to work here.
We'll train you."

Isn't that the truth too often. 

Work can frequently be like "Crazy World!" 

This is a place where there is a convergence of dysfunctional organizational culture, poor leadership, a lack of solid processes and sound planning, and plenty of wacky naysayers and obstructionists who together can bring the workplace to a virtual standstill or even a bitter downfall. 

Yeah, we will train you to do what?

- Follow some dusty and archaic, nonsensical policies that haven't been updated in 20 years.

- Force you into a mold of robotic groupthinkers who have abandoned any notion of exploration, discovery, innovation, and constructive change. 

- Do the minimum to get their paychecks, while staying off the grid and out of trouble, rather than satisfy in serving the mission and delighting their customers. 

This is perhaps why leaders frequently tout their credentials in transforming organizations, yet we still see endless legacies mired in status quo and a lack of any real results and progress. 

Lots of people talk the talk, but very few walk the walk, and that's because we've trained them so well to work here. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Crazy World Of Work

Break-Fix After Breakfast

So I learned something new about being Mr. Fix It.

First of all, depending on how you look at things, you are either the guy who miraculously arrived on the scene and fixed what was so horribly broken and dysfunctional for way too long.

Or

You are the one who broke what was working so well before you came along and messed things up.

Second, just because you want to fix things, doesn't mean that the system or actors want it fixed.  

Often, they are used to it that way and are comfortable in their managed chaos. Objectively better is not necessarily better to those who like to fly below the radar and aren't looking for change or perceived trouble.

Dealing with what's wrong means not only admitting something is broken, but also committing to putting in the substantial effort to fix it.  To some people, why even go there? 

You may be getting up after breakfast energized to take on the dysfunction, but the organization is frozen in it's own sickness and the fever isn't going down or away.

Be careful what you try to fix, because rather than kudos for a job well done, you may be walking into the blame game where after all, pretending that there is no problem to begin with is the greatest shenanigan to hide behind of them all. 

(Source Photos: Andy Blumenthal)

Break-Fix After Breakfast

Not Your B*tch

Another story from a friend of a friend in the office.

A person has someone working for them who hasn't been working out all that well. 

Basically, the staff person is having challenges simply getting their job done. 

The boss asks what the problem is and if there is anything they can do to help the person be successful. 

The staff person blurts out to their boss that "Nothing is wrong--I just don't want anyone to say I'm your b*tch!"

For all the possible reasons for not doing your job this one was quite a shocking one. 

Sure people have challenges--not everyone is good at everything and it's not always a right fit, but being worried about what other people think about your doing your job...uh, not a very good excuse. 

Seems like something the boss is not going to be able to really fix...maybe a shrink. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Not Your B*tch

Work Is For Work

So when I saw 2 awesome colleagues bright and early in the morning standing in the hallway on the way into the office already talking about work--I said, "You guys are already talking shop?"

Now it happens that these 2 actually carpool in together...

So I asked, "Didn't you have enough time in the car to talk about this [business]?"

To which one person replied, "Oh no, we don't talk about our work in the car!"

At first it seemed funny that you would wait an hour's drive and not say what you have to about work and hold it until you just get in the door.

And then after a split second--well of course, that's their time!

Work is for work. and free time is your personal time (for personal care, health, G-d, family, extra-curricular activities and interests, travel, etc.)

It's good to have some healthy separation--to mentally box them out and to keep each sacrosanct. 

We can live and work (not just "live to work") each in it's own rightful time and place and get the most done for our jobs, ourselves, and our families. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attributio to AmatuerX)

Work Is For Work

Poor Decision-Making Inc.

(Click the image for larger size)
___________________________

There is a funny Organization Chart of Indecision by Corter Consulting circulating on the Social Media. 

This graphic (above) by me can be thought of as the corollary for Poor Decision-Making.

It is headed by the Chief, Bad Decisions.

Supporting the Chief is the EVP of Strong-Arming.

Reporting to the Chief are 6 VPs of:

- Haste

- Intuition

- Incompetence

- Misinformation

- Narcissism

- Corruption

Followed by 16 Directors of:

- Get It Over With
- It's Too Hard

- Feelings
- Myths
- I Just Don't Know

- Ignorance
- Ineptitude

- Lack of Data
- Bad Data
- Misinterpretation

- What's In It For Me (WIIFM)
- Legacy
- Arrogance

- Fraud
- Waste
- Abuse

Hope you enjoy this Org Chart of Poor Decision-Making and I look forward to your comments on it. 

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

Poor Decision-Making Inc.

Talking It Cryptic

So for a while when I received weirdly worded communications from others, I thought "Gee, this person doesn't know how to communicate!"

They aren't saying what they mean or aren't saying it clearly, and I am having to decipher it, read between the lines (more than usual) and certainly not always getting it right. 

I seriously thought some of these people needed to go for remedial communications and project management training, and was more than willing to send them.

Then, I started to see the bigger picture and context and it was beginning to all make sense.

The terse messages, the cryptic language, the dancing around the topic...these were not (necessarily) because the person couldn't communicate well, but it was intentional!

No, they weren't trying to mess with me.

They were afraid to say what they really wanted to say--not to me, but generally speaking.  

Why?

Conjecture, but perhaps they didn't want "it" so explicit, they didn't want a flagrant (unnecessary) trail, they didn't want to potentially get in any trouble. 

So they truncate, obfuscate, used "code" words (not real code, symbolic) and otherwise made the communications so vague that they had plausible deniability or could interpret it just about any which way they wanted.

Ah, sort of a "get out of jail free card"--self made, signed, sealed, and delivered.

This is the art of being cryptic!

Fear and overly strict political correctness is not a good thing when what you really need is clear and honest communications from folks.

We do ourselves a disservice by "playing games," keeping hidden agendas, and protecting ourselves over the necessity to get the mission accomplished and done well.

Perhaps when people are caught between competing masters and agendas, they are "forced" to do this to get the job done, stay alive, and in the important game we all must play in life.

Ink a dink a bottle of ink the cap fell off and you stink...got that?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Talking It Cryptic

You Can Always Go, Downtown!

This was fascinating to me at work this week...

I learned how people perceive who sits where and what it means to them.

They even come up with naming conventions for it.

So where (some) of the managers sit, that's called "The White House."

If you turn around and go towards the other end of the building, that's called, "downtown."

And crossing the hallway, past the elevators, that is called, "across the bridge,"

Clearly, the culture of each of these areas within the very same building can be completely different--some may be upbeat, friendly, and productive, and others not so much so or even the opposite with the folks running and screaming, "Get me outta here!"

The message...where people sit and even who sits next to whom is a big deal. 

Where you sit can indicate power, alliances, what is getting done, and at the other extreme who is on "the outs."

Like in the movie, Office Space,  when the guy with the red stapler is moved with his desk and all into the caverns of the building--basically to rot because management didn't quite like him. 

Often people who are in disfavor aren't fired, they are simply put in cherem--excommunicated--and to die a slow and painful career and emotional death. 

On the other hand, those who are the shining stars of the organization get moved to a higher floor, with a better view, possibly a corner office, and near the boss--aha, you're needed!

At work, I suggested a little enterprise architecture challenge to look at the three office areas: White House, Downtown, and Across the Bridge and to define the culture of these--what they are and also what do we want them to be for the people and how can we change to get there. 

No one should feel alienated, "less than" (as human beings), or put out to pasture (if they can be and want to be salvaged). 

The messages that are sent to people by assigning fancy titles, fatter paychecks, providing bigger and more luxuriously adorned offices is a form of performance management (reward and punishment)--but remember that those downtown or across the bridge--who may feel underutilized and not valued in the organization, may become the aggrieved marauding mobs that want to take the proverbial "kings head."

While there are differences in where people are at in their careers and where they sit, generally-speaking advancement and mobility should always be based clearly on fairness, equal opportunity, and respect and dignity for all people regardless of race, color, religion, sex, etc. No one should be sitting in the leaky basement!

Also, sometimes it really is just "the luck of the draw" where people end up--truly--where G-d provides the right opportunity, you have the right skill set, those involved have the right personalities "to click", and it's at the right time "to work out.".

What was also interesting about this to me is that one's persons White House is another person's downtown or across the bridge--it's all relative and we are all part of the carnivorous food chain. 

Just to share something personal for me at work is that one thing that I do when setting up a meeting is that I never put in the meeting notice that the location is my office, but rather, I put it down as "my space," because some people don't have offices, but rather cubes, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad. 

In the end, it's all G-d's space!  ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

You Can Always Go, Downtown!

A Fat Pill

So true story...

This guy at work goes to me today, "Hey, did you get a fat pill?"

I am thinking to myself DID I put on a few pounds...but still how totally rude. 

My colleague must've seen me looking at him with some disbelief and irritation that he would say something like that to me. 

Then he gets this look on his face like, oh sh*t {oops that wasn't what I meant!}

Immediately, he reaches down to the counter in one of our common areas and picks up a Dunkin' Donut from the box that someone had brought in for Friday munchies. 

He's holding up the donut to his face mouthing, "A fat pill," as he takes a big bite engulfing half the donut (or more) in that one mouth shot. 

Well, I never heard of a Donkin' Donut called a fat pill before...

Probably lucky for someone that is what he was referring to (LOL). ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Fat Pill

Not Just Business

This was a funny sign on the parking meter.

"All May Park. All Must Pay."

Another way of saying this is like at the dry cleaners, "No tickee, no shirtee!"

This reminded me of a conversation that I was having with some colleagues about whether individuals or organizations can be evil?

(Note: True story, but I've embellished for the sake of demonstration.)

One colleague said, "Individuals are not bad, but people in groups definitely [often] turn bad!"

Another said, "No individuals can be bad, really bad--think of Hitler and so many others who have murdered, tortured, raped, enslaved, and impoverished--it's the individuals that can and do turn an organizational culture bad."

A third person replied that, "Indeed, it can be the other way around as well, where bad organizations make or encourage it's people to do the wrong things--whether for profits, power, or punishment."

Then someone blurted out, "Well, business is business, right?" In other words, it's okay to do something wrong because everyone does it in business--that's the name of the game and what you have to do to compete and survive!

Then I said sort of annoyed at what the last person said, "Business is not business--that is our test to be G-dly, moral, and ethical in all our dealings [in our personal and professional lives]!"

Of course, we don't always succeed--no one does/we are not angels--but we have to try every time, learn and grow and become better people. 

If you do wrong, you will pay--whether in this world or the next. ;-)

Not Just Business

"Shitty" Advertising

Florida is a beautiful, but sometimes a strange place.

I stop in a restaurant to use the restroom.

Now, I know sometimes people put art inside to sort of spiffy the place up.

But in this (semi-fancy) restaurant's restroom, there was actually advertising--yes, right where you do your thing.

And in one spot, they had this sign from Insite Advertising, Inc. for the bathroom advertisements.

"...Thank you for allowing us to spend this time alone with you. We understand that during your hectic day quiet moments are few and far between..."

Well, this was one alone time that was definitely interrupted and a little less quiet.

Isn't there any place we can go anymore without being bombarded by branding, marketing, advertising, selling, and companies trying to make a another quick buck.

Darn, leave us alone and give us our bathrooms back--I'm not buying from you at a time like this! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

"Shitty" Advertising

Okay For A Drive By

So, having grown up in New York, I've definitely heard of a drive by shooting, but never a "drive by meeting". 

Until a colleague asked me, "Okay for a drive by?"

A little taken aback, but I was available (and figured not in any imminent danger by his type of "drive by"), so I agreed to meet for a few minutes. 

The meeting was quick, like a car whizzing by, but we discussed what was needed and accomplished the immediate goal. 

Personally, I prefer when someone is driving the meeting, rather than having a drive by meeting, but we all need to be agile to whatever the day brings. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Okay For A Drive By

Happy Is As Happy Does

I took this photo of this unusual, yes, garbage bin. 

It has these cheerful, colorful stickers all around it!

I was amazed at how some people can take even things that they probably don't like doing--like collecting trash--and work to make them happy.

Maybe some would say, it's like putting lipstick on a pig--just a cover.

But I have to give people credit for being creative, having a good attitude, and making even a bin of trash just a little bit brighter. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Happy Is As Happy Does

Starbucks - BYOF

Okay, this was the second week in a row at Starbucks that I've seen people BYOF.

BYOF = Bring Your Own Food.

This gentleman relaxing on a Sunday has brought his ziplock bag and with some nice looking pound cake at that.

Message to Starbucks...either your food is really bad, overpriced, or perhaps a little of both. 

You pride yourself on your coffee and everyone pays a premium for it, but you are slacking on the food side of the coffeehouse. 

Seems like a big opportunity--fix your food (finally!) and make gazillions of dollars more off the addicted masses that flock to your coffee havens. 

My consulting fee...we can discuss. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Starbucks - BYOF

Service From Yourself

I was so proud this week to see some true customer service excellence from a colleague. 

Someone had run out of toner and they had put in a help desk ticket to get it replaced.  

In the meantime, there was a large order of toner on order, but it was still a day or two out from delivery.

So my colleague responsible for this area took his own toner out of his printer and gave it to the person who was out. 

I got a wonderful email thanking us for the unbelievable customer service. 

Honestly, there are other printers that the person could have used in the meantime, but this person went above and beyond to keep the customer working and happy. 

Great lesson in customer service and exemplary behavior here. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Service From Yourself

Not For Drinking {Funny}

For funny Friday, here's a photo that I took of the Toilet Coffee Mug (for real). 

It's cute in a certain miniaturized way, but I am not sure who would want to drink their coffee from this thing. 

Or imagine this, you go to the leadership meeting at your important organization, and there sitting across at the table is the Big Kahuna executive with this mug.

No, it's not a great brand making statement, but it definitely is a conversation piece. 

Hey, will they put Starbucks in here, if you ask nicely?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Not For Drinking {Funny}

Naked And Yelled At

So true story...I'm in the changing room at the pool.

There is a guy there, just a few feet away, naked. 

The pool supervisor comes over and says, "Hey, where's your brother?"

The guy says, "Why?"

The pool supervisor says, "He asked for a change in schedule, and I told him he can work on Mondays, and he's not here."

The guy annoyed, says, "I'll tell him."

The pool supervisor, shakes his head, and walks away. 

The guy turns to me and says, "You know this is the only job where your boss can come up to you when you're stark naked and start yelling at you!"

I say, "Yeah, and you can't even say it's sexual harassment."  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Naked And Yelled At