Bystanders Standing By

So I was on the Metro train coming home from the office. 

I was sitting on the left side of the car (riding backwards--which I hate) 

And a lady was sitting on the right side of the train (also riding backwards)

She was stylishly dressed, but also honestly a little seductive in a short skirt, knee-high boots, and bare legs. 

There was a older man sitting across from her (facing forward and facing her). 

At one point then some really weird stuff started to go down. 

This guy gets up and starts staring at this lady--but not just the lady, specifically at her legs.

But it get worse, he turns his head sideway--this way and that--very obviously trying to look under her skirt. 

These were not kids mind-you, but grown adults--and this behavior was not only unexpected, but completely shocking.

There are lots of other people around, and it seems like no one knows what to make of this guy or even cares.

Then he inches closer, as if to get a better look, and get this--100% true--he starts to sniff at her.

It was so scary to see this guy on the train acting all perverted--obviously some sort of serious sexual predator. 

My mind starts racing into whether I should get up and be prepared to confront him, so he doesn't hurt this women, or if there is enough time, can I call for the cops.

But before anything else could unfold, the train pulls into the next station, the double doors open, and he quickly hops off. 

I turn my head to look at the women to make sure she is okay, and I see her breath out a deep-sigh of relief. 

This could've been really bad--he could've tried to attack her in broad daylight or even follow her off the train. 

The funny thing was that I didn't see anyone say or do anything about it or even pay attention to the potentially dangerous situation unfolding that was obvious. 

The people were all around, but the bystanders were just that "standing (idly) by" and in no way seemed to pay any notice or they just didn't want to get involved--it was like complete apathy. 

I hope for everyone's sake--that people really do care and pay attention when there is danger about--and that it's not just everyone for themselves.  

We are much stronger together, than when everyone is apathetic or just looking out for themselves. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bystanders Standing By

It's Not Easy

So I went for a haircut yesterday evening.

And when I walked into the Hair Cuttery, there were a number of mentally disabled people waiting there. 

3 had already gotten their haircuts, and 1 was still in the barber's chair. 

One of the 3 said hello to me and started conversing with me even though he  had obvious difficulty getting the words out. 

There was an open chair between them, and he even offered me to sit down with them, which I did. 

I asked about him and he told me the others we're his roommates.

I asked how he liked his roommates and he gave a big smile, nodded, said how nice they were, and while pointing to them started to introduce them and encouraged them to speak with me as well. 

I could see as they interacted and later got up how they shared some challenges, but also how each clearly had their own unique difficulties to deal with--for example, one was stooped and went along with a limp, while another was more reticent and seemed openly annoyed by the others trying to get his attention. 

When it was my turn for the haircut, they were heading out and a couple of them waved goodbye to me. 

I said goodbye back and was sad seeing how difficult people's lives are. 

It strikes me that even for those in the healthiest states, life can be very difficult at times.

So I imagine how much more so for those with physical and developmental disabilities--the things we take for granted can be extremely difficult for others to navigate around, reach, manipulate, read, hear, understand, speak, and do.

Life seems unforgiving at times. 

My daughter said to me that while it's natural for people to look out for their own self-interests, really we all need each other to survive and make it. 

Our self confidence in our stand-alone capacities is really just an illusion. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

It's Not Easy

Spending It All Down

So Parkinson's Law states that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

The more time you have on your hands, the longer it takes you to do something. 

I find this to be so true...like on a day off, I don't find myself typically getting any more done than on a regular work day. 

But what is true for time, also seems to apply to money. 

The more money you make, the more you need. 

And while you may get more or better quality for your extra bucks, you still don't have a lot in net savings. 

Thus in line with Conspicuous Consumption, we spend more on luxury goods when we have more money and we spend more of our leisure time on doing the same basic set of activities when we have more time to spend.

Either way, more time and money often means more wasting of each, with people finding it extraordinarily difficult to save when they have (too) much of either. 

Perhaps, that why the big time hip hop artist, Kanye West recently tweeted about being $53 million in debt.

Or why Benjamin Franklin said, "If you want something done, ask a busy person."

Your personal decision is what you end up spending your extra time and money on. 

The only real difference with time and money is that money you can put in the bank, but time passes whether you are busy or not.

Perhaps the best investment for both is to spend on education, experiences, on loved ones, and on helping others. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Parg)

Spending It All Down

A Last Act Of Giving

So after the Rabbi's speech today on the Halachic Organ Donor Society, I joined up to be a donor. 

I had always believed this was the right thing to do, but knowing that there is a kosher way to do it, sealed the cause for me. 

There are more than 123,000 Americans that need lifesaving organ transplants and every 10 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list, so if I don't need mine any more, I'd like to help someone that does. 

While ideally, I would like to return my body to  G-d in pristine condition the same way that I received it, I realize that life wears away at us and moreover, sometimes tragedy (G-d forbid) strikes. 

Of course, I hope and pray for a long and healthy life, but if we are in a position to help, how can we not be there for those who need us in one last giving moment. ;-)

(Source Photo of Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Last Act Of Giving

It's Not About The Regrets

So a teacher recently gave her students a scenario with the following moral dilemma:

An important and talented surgeon who has saved many lives in the past and will surely save many more in the future runs across an old man who has slipped and fallen under the cracking ice into a lake after trying unsuccessfully to save his puppy from drowning.  

The old man is trapped and will freeze to death in short order.

Should the surgeon walk across the breaking ice and risk his own life to try and save the old man?

The vast majority of students' responded...that the surgeon should try and save the old man.

When asked why they thought that, most said because otherwise he would feel guilty afterwards. 

Thinking about that it seems like a funny reason to do something dangerous, heroic, and maybe utterly stupid...so as not to feel guilty. 

I guess that I would've thought people who would advocate for trying to save the old man would say something like

- Every life is valuable!
- Saving one person is like saving the world.
- Helping people even at our own risk or peril is what we do for our fellow human beings.
- We would want others to help us if we were in trouble, so we should do that for them. 

While we can't judge someone else for how they react in situations of genuine moral conflict, we can teach the younger generation that doing something good for others is about more than just not feeling bad or guilty afterwards (for being lazy, selfish, or making the wrong call in the situation).

Making moral judgements is about choosing in every situation to try your best to do what's right, help people, be a good influence, take responsibility, and generally act selflessly, but not recklessly. 

Regret stinks (and can be truly painful), but missing opportunities to live a good, meaningful life is much worse. ;-)

(Source Photo: The Blumenthals)

It's Not About The Regrets

Refugees or Terrorists--How Do You Really Know?

The news about the refugee crisis is truly heartwrenching.  

My own parents and grandparents were refugees from the Holocaust who came to this beautiful country to start fresh and live in freedom and peace.  

So one one hand, I like so many others want to do the right thing from a humanitarian perspective and help people in need.  

But on the other hand, with this new wave of refugees something seems vastly different...

- 18 of 31 people identified so far in mass New Year's Eve attacks (sexual molesting, raping, and robbing) of over 500 women in German...were refugees that had already applied for asylum.

- At least one of the Paris terrorists who killed more than 130 people in November is alleged to have been a Syrian refugee. 

- At least 3 refugees resettled in the U.S. since 9/11 (from Iraq and Uzbek) have been arrested on terrorism charges and there have been dozens of other counter-terrorism investigations for those resettled here. 

- The ISIS suicide bomber that killed 10 German tourists in Istanbul this week was registered as a Syrian refugee "without setting off security alerts."

- And again this week, a group of refugees with rocks, bats, knives, attack a Frenchman. 

- ISIS is already asserting that they will use the refugee crisis to get attackers into the West and are bragging that already thousands have successfully infiltrated. 

Surely, no refugee vetting process is going to be ironclad--processing mistakes, system errors, and errors of judgement are bound to happen.

Some have also suggested that politics is playing a larger role here in wanting to get as many refugees and immigrants as possible into the country for the purpose of simply getting their cold hard votes...so this is a possible darker side of DC. 

In the end, we need to put politics aside, and figure out how do we help those that really need help and are good people seeking to live peacefully and productively among us, and how do we prevent the next wave of terror from some really bad apples? 

Until we can answer this question substantively, and not by an emotional response of it "is just not who we are," we need to take this one step at a time and not act rashly and recklessly. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Luis C. Araujo)

Refugees or Terrorists--How Do You Really Know?

Powerball Powers Past

I suppose the makers of the Powerball lottery never envisioned a $1.3 billion jackpot. 

As you can see the sign only goes up to $999 million. 

Yeah, stupid planning from the people that run the odds (where winning is 1 in 292 million), but they can't figure the odds of the lottery going this high, ever.

Anyway, win it or lose it, someone stands to walk way with a lump-sum payment of $806 million, and after federal, state, and local taxes you're looking at maybe half or less of that. 

Either way, not a bad take-away from a $2 lottery ticket. 

Lots of needy people to help and good deeds to do. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Powerball Powers Past

Social Inequality To Make You Sick

Here's a copy of the sticker price on the car in the lobby of the local mall in Florida here. 

Oh, it's just a 2016 Rolls Royce for a mere $362,225.00

The car was unbelievably gorgeous.

But the extravagance of it compared with the regular poor, hungry and homeless people on the streets as well as the vast majority of all the other everyday middle class people is enough to make you want to puke. 

Immediately after this, when we got back to the hotel, the maid was still in the room cleaning up.

I had the opportunity to see--really see--this lady--this person. 

She was overly respectful, calling me sir numerous times, unnecessarily. 

She was kind in finishing the room quickly and asking if their was anything else we needed.

But I also noticed that despite her labor-intensive job cleaning up other people's shit in the hotel rooms, she had a bum leg and had trouble walking and just getting around. 

I thought to myself why was it that this poor lady was destined to have to clean my and other people's hotel rooms for a grueling living.

The next day, I saw some mini shampoo and conditioner containers that had fallen to the side of the tiny garbage can in the bathroom (didn't make the shot).  

I looked down--I thought for a split second, that's what the hotel get's paid for to clean up and service the guests--but only for a SPLIT second.

Then I bent my own stupid ass over, and picked up the bottles and put them in the garbage where they belong. 

The lady coming to clean the room doesn't drive a Rolls Royce and definitely, neither do I. 

We are one under G-d, and may he bless us all in prosperity, health, and peace. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Social Inequality To Make You Sick

Save Our Children

I was very taken by this ad yesterday for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. 

NCMEC is primarily funded by the Justice Department for preventing and assisting with solving child abductions, child sexual abuse, and child pornography. 

It's horrible when something bad happens to to an adult, but when it happens to a child--that is catastrophic. 

I remember my dad used to say when he went to the funeral for a child--"A child is supposed to bury his [/her] parents, and not the other way around!"

It is unthinkable the pain that a helpless child goes through when taken or abused.

And for the parents, who are responsible for and love that child, I don't think they can ever rest or be at peace for a single moment, until the child is, please G-d, safe again. 

This reminds me of the tragedy this week, where a one-year old child was one of the victims in a terror car-ramming at a bus stop in Israel that wounded 11 people. 

Unfortunately, the baby's leg that had been nearly severed by the terror attack, was unfortunately lost despite heroic attempts by the doctors to save his leg.

What did this kid do to deserve such a trauma and fate? 

As the NCMEC motto states, "Every child deserves a safe childhood."

How can people be so cruel to others and especially to innocent children?  

Despite G-d's love and caring in this world, evil still exists and every time a child goes missing, is exploited, or is hurt/killed is proof of this, and is a mandate of our need to fight for their good. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Save Our Children

Helping Kids To Stand On Their Own

So my wife and I have a longstanding disagreement on the best way of teaching children. 

Her perspective:

TEACH TO CARE - Get the kids to do them for themselves, learn to be independent, by doing they learn to stand on their own two feet, don't baby them, by teaching them to do for themselves you are caring for the kids, if you jump every time they ask then there is no reason for them to try themselves.

His perspective:

CARE TO TEACH - Do for the kids when they are young, by showing them how then they start to learn how to do it for themselves later in life, children need to be shown love and caring so they can learn to one day care for themselves as well as for others, by loving and giving selflessly to children they learn that they are valuable human beings and grow to a healthy maturity. 

The reality:

CARE AND TEACH - We need to show care and love to children, but also need to teach them to do for themselves. We can't smother children nor can we send them out into the world unprepared. Care for them at an early age, show them how, and then give them opportunities to do it for themselves and become full adults. 

Like with most things in marriage, and relationships in general, the bringing together of two heads and hearts is better than just one alone. We balance each other, complement each other, and synergize each other--one is alone and deficient, two is together and with G-d making three, it is a whole. 

And always tell your wife she was right. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Helping Kids To Stand On Their Own

Vetting The Refugees--Do You Think It'll Work?

So not that anyone was so thrilled with the Syria and Iraq refugee idea post 9/11 to begin with...

But now 31 States have come straight out refusing to take these refugees post the terror attack that happened just last week in Paris--where at least one of the terrorists was...

Guess what?

That's right!  A fake refugee from Syria. 

But what about the "intensive vetting process" that is being promised for these 10,000 refugees?

Well what can be more intensive than the vetting that the American government does on employees working for highly sensitive agencies like the CIA, FBI, and NSA? 

So how has that worked out?

Probably not too bad, but the problem is that no vetting no matter how thorough is foolproof, hence major spies have infiltrated these organizations for years or even decades and caused immense harm to national security:

Robert Hanssen (former FBI--spied for the Soviets for 21 years)

Aldrich Ames (31-year veteran of the CIA, compromised 2nd largest number of CIA agents after Robert Hanssen)

Edward Snowden (leaked classified information from the NSA on our surveillance programs)

The point is that no matter how well we vet 10,000 or more refugees from Iraq and Syria, with ISIS vowing "to strike America at its center in Washington"--there certainly can be some errors in the screening and final adjudication process.

Again no vetting process is perfect--especially when the refugees themselves are admitting that fake ideas are being given out to them like candy in a candy store. 

So that's the dilemma we now face:

HEART--do what our heart tells us to and help people in need by taking in the refugees.

OR 

HEAD--follow our heads not risking another one or more potentially devastating terror attacks on the U.S. homeland. 

The choice is heartbreaking or headache producing! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Vetting The Refugees--Do You Think It'll Work?

Lights, Camera, Inaction

So the lights dim, the camera starts to roll, and what happens...

ACTION!

The show starts...actors spring into action, and the plot takes shape--we have a positive influence and impact on our fellow man and the world we live in. 

But there is a sorry alternative storyline.

Where after the lights and camera...nothing happens.

There is a eery silence and a weird INACTION!

Like the actors are asleep at the wheel, went off to play golf or to comedy night, or perhaps went home to momma, and are cowering, and hiding under their beds.

Is this the unfortunate state of our country today?

The world is our stage. 

As the sole superpower, the United States is the prime actor today.

We have our calling to go do good--to help, to save, and to bring peace and freedom. 

But lo and behold, what happens when we have a policy of inaction?

Where we want peace, but are not willing to do to much of anything for it or perhaps in spite of it. 

So how is our world faring today:

- In Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Afghanistan, Libya, Sudan, and more, millions are dying and injured, while tens of millions are fleeing, displaced, or are in refugee camps, and chemical WMD are in use by Syria and ISIS, while our red lines were drawn and then withdrawn, and we don't know if we are training the opposition or throwing in the towel on the ground.

- ISIS, Al Qaeda, Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Boko Haram, etc. are rampant and overrunning the Middle East and North Africa, killing, torturing, raping, destroying, and plummeting, as well as recruiting back in Europe and here in the States, amidst calls for attacks against us and our allies. 

- Russia takes Crimea and is resurgent in Eastern Ukraine and the Arctic, and antagonizing all around Europe with ever encroaching warplanes and warships, and militarizing and modernizing their formidable nuclear arsenal, and we stand up a new NATO rapid reaction force, while we are again surprised by Russia, now in Syria.

- China is expanding into the South China Sea, flexing it's economic and military muscle, and cyber attacking and stealing our vital government and economic information assets with relative impunity, while we trade with our partner and pivot this way and that. 

- North Korea restarts it's nuclear plant, readies for another banned missile launch, sinks South Korean ships, plants deadly landmines on the South's side of the demilitarized zone, and provokes toward a military confrontation, while we lick our wounds from the last broken agreements with them. 

- Iran has stymied the people's freedom movement, executed the opposition and homosexuals, builds toward a deadly nuclear and ballistic missile future, seeks the destruction of America ("The Great Satan") and Israel, is massively funding and arming their terrorist proxies to the tune of billions of dollars, and has gotten a get out of jail free card and sanctions lifting.

So what can we do?

Well in the past, we were a meaningful deterrent to countries and people doing bad things. 

We stood proudly and tall for human rights, freedom, equality, democracy, anti-proliferation, and sustainability.

We didn't have to fight everywhere to make our point--but just knowing that we were willing to stand for righteousness and justice often meant those with evil intentions stepping back and rethinking it.

Occasionally, we did have to put our blood and treasure where our mouths were, and perhaps we often did this too rashly and imprudently (when diplomacy or some saber rattling might have done the trick). 

However, the world cannot afford for us to be war weary or chase empty legacies of peace built on blind hope or a running away from our responsibilities. 

While the world burns, we can't be looking for Nobel Prizes instead of seeking out the fire extinguishers and medical kits to save and to heal. 

As it is so wisely stated: "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

Peace is not born of inaction, but of brave actors willing to do what is necessary to achieve all that is good and all that can be done. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lights, Camera, Inaction

Good Can (And Will) Overcome Evil

Beautiful video showing that good can overcome evil. 

Next video is where the woman (empowered) takes down the would be attackers herself--with a big time, well-deserved smackdown!

Where on the right track. ;-)

Good Can (And Will) Overcome Evil

A Dumb Dumb World

So I took this photo on the Metro in Washington, D.C.

One person is on their "smart" phone, and the other is reading a book called "Our Dumb World."

This is a contrast supreme. and I was intrigued. 

I couldn't exactly ask what the man was doing on his smartphone... but presumably email, texting, news, a video, maybe even some gaming.

The other person reading about the dumb world--what's that all about?

So I looked this book up, and apparently the satarists at The Onion make some laughing-stock fun in their "fake" atlas of the world. 

So stupidity is out there every day...

But stupid isn't the worst part of it..."stupid is as stupid does"-- not sure you can blame someone for doing dumb things when they're done innocently and by accident.  

But what is really bad is when dumb things are done with intent and malice--for power or to get what you want when you want it.

Leadership often treats the masses as the dumb people who can be fooled some, if not all, of the time. 

But people are smarter than you think, eventually seeing through the amalgam of lies, deceit, and spin--thrown at them through the old world media as well as in social media. 

That type of dumb becomes a foolish legacy--not a laughing matter. 

Real, ongoing passion and care for the people and the progress of our nation within the larger world context...we can see it in the eyes, hear it in the words, feel it in our bones--it's tangible and it lifts us to achieve greatness.

Those things are smart--and what we need more of in the "real" world atlas. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Dumb Dumb World

Helpless And Helping

The following is all true.

So I dreamed last night a scary dream...

I was lying prone in a horizontal but bent position.

My clothes were tattered rags and my legs bare.

I could see my legs, but could not move them--at all. 

The bottom of the legs by the ankles were completely skinny, diseased and bright sore red (like burnt), and the skin was falling off them.

I knew I was in immense pain, but could not feel anything.

My legs completely useless, in hopelessness, I looked upward and called out:

"Father! Father! Father!" 

I was looking for my dad (who I know deeply loved me and vice versa), and hoping for him to come and help me somehow. 

Then, my voice turned and called:

"Father that art in heaven" and repeated this again. 

I was turning to G-d as the only one who could help me when everything else was stripped away. 

Then I awoke, and I was very afraid and yet somehow comforted--I had turned heavenward and found G-d. 

Later this morning, I went to the pool for a swim and as part of my post surgery rehabilitation. 

As I was swimming, I saw an old somewhat hunchback lady come to the pool.

I recognized her from other days when she does a little self-defined exercise routine against the side of the pool. 

But today, her lane at the sides were taken. 

Seeing that she was upset and couldn't do her exercise in the center of the pool, I stopped swimming and went over to her.

I said, "Why don't you share with me (there is plenty of room)?"

She hesitated and I could see maybe she needed help getting under the swim rope that divides the lanes, so I lifted it for her and told her reassuringly, "It's no problem."

And then she went under and did her exercise thing--and we shared.

It was such a small thing for me, but yet I could see it was a big deal for her--she was old and I could tell that she needed her routine.

Sort of funny but, when I offered to help, I could practically here the angels of heaven let out a little song of joy--seriously, I did. 

And I thought to myself...Andy, you can learn!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Helpless And Helping

L@@king The Other Way

So recovering from surgery and with my cane in hand the last number of weeks, I've had a chance to see the worst and best of people. 

Especially on the Metro, I've had people who quite simply refused to let me sit down--can you say look the other way or ignorance is bliss?

One guy the other day saw me holding on to the overhead rail with one hand and the cane in the other, he looked me in the eye, and then looked back down again to work on whatever notes he was writing...certainly more important. 

And even early on a couple of times (this was when it was still hard to really stand up for long) when I asked for one of the special access seats from completely healthy people sitting there, I usually got the stone cold kvetchy faces like "You talking to me?"

At other times, waiting to get on the Metro, I've had people rush in front of me, try to push me aside, or even nearly trample me when they felt I just wasn't moving my limp leg fast enough. 

I think this has been particularly disheartening especially when I see this behavior coming from people of different faiths who were clearly observant at least in other ways...uh, don't we answer to an even higher authority?

When some empathic folks at work recently asked me, how people were treating me on the Metro (yes, they know how it is!), I said feeling frustrated one day that the only difference between DC and NY is that in NY there was probably a greater chance of someone trying to actually push me (G-d forbid) in front of an oncoming train--yeah, at times it seriously felt that way. 

I will say that thank G-d not everyone is such a you know what!

Although truly it's been the exception and not the rule, there have been some very nice people that did offer me a seat, let me go first, or didn't rush me on/off the moving escalator. 

One lady in particular was extraordinarily wonderful, and when I was crossing a very wide two-way street with lots of cars and the light was getting ready to change, she walked by my side--literally shielding me from the oncoming traffic, and she said "Don't worry, they won't hit both of us!"

I remember learning in yeshiva some very basics of human decency...get up before the aged, remove an obstacle from before a blind person, and to take off a heavy burden from even your enemy's stumbling animal.

I think these and other lessons in school and at home sensitized me to people's pain and suffering and where possible to try and help--not that I am a saint, I'm not, but at least I feel my conscience talks to me.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

L@@king The Other Way

Disability Stories and Resources

Just wanted to share this great site called Disability Blog where people tell about their experiences of being disabled and how they have overcome the odds. 

It is hosted by Department of Labor's Office of Disability Employment Policy.

And it is the official blog of Disability.gov where there is lots of information on "disability programs and services." 

The blog site promotes the "full inclusion of people with disabilities in the workforce and communities nationwide."

Disability Blog posts guest bloggers on various topics and I read some of the recent posts and they were very good, including:

- Disability rights activism
- Small business loans and mentoring support with SCORE for a veteran with disability
- Resources and support from the Amputtee Coalition for a child that was hurt in a lawn mowing accident
- A courageous description of how someone lives with syndactyly (fused fingers).
- Options for workplace accommodations at the Job Accommodation Network. 

As someone myself who has had two total hip replacements, I encourage people to get their personal stories out there to increase disability awareness, rights, and resources and support to help them.

I used to dream about retiring one day and running along the boardwalk and ocean every morning in Florida, but I know that will not happen for me anymore (so thank G-d for swimming). 

Disabilities can happen to anyone. 

We all need to be sensitive to what it's like to be different and have unique challenges, and to try and help anyone who does.  ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Abhijit Bhaduri)

Disability Stories and Resources

See The World Through The Eyes Of Others

It's not only important what we think, but also what and how others see things. 

One the things, the folks that work with me frequently hear from me is "Let me put myself in the other person's shoes for a moment, and give you feedback on that."

We are what we are and not as our customers are, and while we may strive for excellence in customer service, our customers may have completely different notions of what that means.

For example, I may think a 24-hour turnaround on something is pretty good given everything on our plate, but when I imagine myself in the customer's shoes for a moment, I may change that expectation to "We need to get this done by noon today (or sooner)!"

People are different, our experiences, our cultures, our context and the way we interpret things. 

So when it comes to work or family or even social issues, being compassionate often means seeing the world through someone else's eyes. 

There was an interesting article in the New York Times called "Imaging The Lives Of Others" by psychologist, Paul Bloom. 

While he notes the importance to "behold the universe through the eyes of another," he also says how difficult this really is. 

If you haven't done something, how can you really imagine what it was like, let alone know what it was like for someone else to experience it?

Without the access to the particular significant life experience, the duration, the controls (so you can't just say stop like in an experiment), perhaps a person can never fully know what it's like. 

For example, if you haven't been through a devastating war, can you truly know what it's like to be in a foxhole and have the bullets whooshing by your head and the tanks rumbling over it?

Yes, we can imagine, but that is probably a far cry!

Yet, to really empathize with others, do right by them, and to make good leadership decisions, we most certainly need to at least try to see and experience the world the way others do. 

Thinking about the over 805 million hungry people in the world today, it is much more impactful to imagine myself hungry and starving, then just to say the mere fact that these poor people exist.

We can probably never know someone's else pain and suffering the way they do, but through our own experiences, extrapolation from them, and our imagination, we can at least try to elevate ourselves for a purely self-centric universe of one that is of billions (under one G-d), and who need our understanding, compassion, support, and help. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

See The World Through The Eyes Of Others

Light Up The Night

This was a beautiful piece in the New York Times today.

It was about how two sons handled the final hours with their father after he was removed from off life support.

With the prodding of one son, the father reluctantly agrees to see a Rabbi before his death, and this Rabbi describes to the dying man the meaning of his (and our) life:

"Imagine your whole life now, and for each [and every] time you did something good, imagine it as a little glow you left behind that lights a dark road stretching back in time. It's a long, long row of lights now, isn't it?"

Remembering over time, the father nods, smiles and is obviously comforted in this final hour as he sees in his mind's eye all the shinning lights for the acts of kindness that he was leaving behind. 

Isn't this what life is all about?

Every choice we make, everything we do, can have an amazing impact and leave light when before there was just darkness. 

Imitating G-d in creation, we create light separating it from the darkness out there, good from evil...we create the future. 

Our goal...light up the night. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Light Up The Night

A Doll For Every Worry

Some kids put their baby teeth under their pillow for the tooth fairy.

But in Guatemala they make Worry Dolls that children can put under their pillows, so they can be released from their worries and sleep better. 

If those were my worry dolls, I wouldn't put them under my pillow and have a lumpy sleep and wake up to them once again, but rather I would throw them out the window, so hopefully they would be gone for good. 

Man, if only we could really get rid of our worries and problems that easily--I think they call it transference! ;-)

(Source Photos: Andy Blumenthal)

A Doll For Every Worry