When Life Has Meaning

What makes meaning in life?

Faith.

Family.

Friends.

Love.

Giving.

Integrity. 

Purpose.

Learning. 

Growth.

Struggle. 

Hope.

Meaning is crucial to personal happiness and well-being. 

Without meaning there is worthlessness, helplessness, and hopelessness.

Seek meaning to prolong your life and make it a life truly worth living. ;-)

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

When Life Has Meaning

Entering The Oculus Rift Matrix

So this was my first time actually experiencing virtual reality. 

Using Oculus Rift and climbing this mountain...

I've got to say how incredibly fabulioso this was!

It is absolutely an immersive and real experience. 

When I looked over the side of the mountain and down at the water and "realized" how far up I was, I was freakin out. 

My feet were grabbing the floor like I was about to fall off the mountain and then I eventually did. 

This is the next big thing!

You can literally be anywhere and doing anything with this technology.  

The real world is not there. 

And now I believe more than ever, that just like we enter the virtual reality body and start to move around and interact in that make-believe world, so too our soul enters our human bodies and we are present in this material existence to experience the worldly wonders all around us. 

But like the virtual world, this earthly world is the playground for our earthly bodies are just a temporary vessel for us to face challenges, learn, and grow.

When the time is up, our souls depart our bodies and return to its maker, just like when the virtual reality game is over and we are back here. 

G-d is the greatest game-maker of them all, and we are copycats in every sense of the word. 

The body is the vessel, and the soul is the essence. ;-)

(Source Video: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Entering The Oculus Rift Matrix

Naked Sitting

This was some amazing sculpture at the Hirshhorn Museum in Washington, D.C. 

This "Big Man" is just sitting in the corner at the top of the escalator.

Sitting naked and looking deep in thought and down on his luck.

In a sense, as we sit or stand in front of our Maker, we are all naked bearing witness to our transgressions and trespasses. 

What are we to do when we give in to weakness?

We see people looking around and hoping no one is seeing them as they try to get away with doing the wrong thing.

But as my Oma (grandmother) used to say in German to me: 

"Liebe Gott sieht alles" 

Almighty G-d sees everything!

Our souls, and the souls of those that came before us, and those that will come after us, are all around us, without limitation to time or space. 

Our nakedness is revealed no matter what we use to try to cover up with. 

Hunched in the corner, we don't really know what to do, but to try to do better with each and every next time.

We have opportunities to right the wrongs, if we get up and exert self control and overcome our mortal and character weaknesses. 

Then our nakedness won't be foul in sight and smell, but will be radiant, with our spirits having risen to the occasion of what we can be as the children of G-d. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Naked Sitting

Seeing Your Life Flash B4 Your Eyes

So in near death experiences, it is common to see your life flash before your eyes. 

Researchers believe that what you see isn't necessarily in chronological order, rather there is no time or space, and people report that "it all happened at once."

Additionally, people feel the experiences and pain from others' points of view. 

It's like a melding of time and space in a single continuum. 

This so-called life review experience (LRE) is eye-opening. 

It's almost like a G-d's eye view of your life in the world. 

In the worst case scenario, what we see at the end is what we failed to see during life--how far wrong we went and how much we hurt others. 

If we wait until the end to open our eyes and see what's right in front of us all along, then frankly, it's too late to do anything positive about it. 

Maybe you have to come back (reincarnated) for another try to do things better and make things right. 

Hopefully, you learned something from this go around so that you are building incrementally and purifying your heart and your soul. 

If though life experience, it's ups and downs, and pains and suffering, you still learn nothing...then what you see in the end is your own blindness to the eternal lessons of the omniscient creator--all in 20-20 extra clear hindsight. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Seeing Your Life Flash B4 Your Eyes

Getting Valuable Performance Feedback

So here are three simple questions to ask your boss that can help you get valuable performance feedback and advance yourself and your career:

1) What am I doing that you want me to keep doing?

2) What am I doing that you want to me quit doing?

3) What am I not doing that you'd like me to start doing? 

There you have it in a nutshell--you can partner with your boss to improve yourself and get ahead. 

Just three easy questions gets you a lot of good information. 

The hardest part is getting up the nerve to ask and then being willing to really listen to what's said. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Getting Valuable Performance Feedback

Enter With A HANDSHAKE & Leave With A HUG

So after almost 6 years at the U.S. Department of State, I am moving forward in my career to a very exciting role at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 

As I look back, I have fond memories of the wonderful high-performance division I was part of and the many amazing achievements we had together, and what our Deputy Assistant Secretary called, the "A Team."

But one thing today is sticking out in my mind and it's this image.

"Enter with a handshake and leave with a hug."

On the first days, when I arrived it was all formality and firm welcome handshakes.

We don't really know you and you don't really know us, but we're embarking on this journey together, and where it takes us no one really knows, BUT we wish you the best of luck--now go out and do great things!

Then on the last days, as I was preparing to leave, the formal handshakes were long gone and instead they were replaced with warm heartfelt hugs (and some special emotional words and cards). 

I was no longer a mystery of a person, with just my reputation, coming in to do G-d knows what. 

Now, I was a human being that had a genuine history with them, formed relationships with many, had faced challenges together, and had touched not only minds, but also it was apparent, hearts. 

I will not forget the special people, nor the many times shared, our accomplishments as an organization, and how we grew. 

I am moving forward not only with their tight hugs to more handshakes anew, but also to once again hopefully grow heart-to-heart with people, as further relationships are formed and we make, please G-d, amazing new progress together--for the mission and for the people. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Enter With A HANDSHAKE & Leave With A HUG

Undergoing A Spiritual Awakening

My wife sent me this beautiful photo about spiritual awakenings. 

She found it on a new age blog, but I really thought it was great. 

As I contemplated this, I felt like I was reaching some truths.

Because when we are released from the constraints of the purely physical and material world, we can elevate ourselves to an expanded realm of both perception and inner peace.

So here is what the essence of a spiritual awakening is to me:

Hope you like this and I would welcome others' thoughts on this.

Happy and peaceful new year to all.

Andy

(Source Graphic on Spiritual Awakening: Andy Blumenthal)

Undergoing A Spiritual Awakening

Our Lives Matter

I thought this saying by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov was very profound. 

"The day you were born is the day G-d decided that the world could not exist without you."

We all need to know that our lives have a purpose and meaning.

...that it's not all in vain that we live and toil.

There are many such notions tied to this:

- Jewish blood is not cheap.

- Black lives matter and Blue lives matter.

But the question is why do our lives matter? 

Kurt Vonnegut has an interesting piece on this:

"In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close to mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. "What is the purpose of all this?" he asked politely. "Everything must have a purpose?" asked God. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God. And He went away.”  

So the answer is that we bring purpose to life. 

In what we learn, and do, and how we grow...this is our purpose. 

For each of us, it's different.

G-d created us in "His cosmic loneliness" to think on this and make meaning from the lives that he so graciously granted to us. 

Now we must go and do something positive with it.

Because G-d decided the day you were born that "the world could not exist without you." ;-)

(Source Photo: Forwarded to me by Michelle Blumenthal)

Our Lives Matter

On The Train Of Life

My beautiful daughter, Michelle, forwarded this wonderful message to me about our journey through life, and I wanted to share it with everyone.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋
Life is like a journey on a train...
with its stations...
with changes of routes...
and with accidents !

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

We board this train when we are born and our parents are the ones who get our ticket.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

We believe they will always travel on this train with us.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

However, at some station our parents will get off the train, leaving us alone on this journey.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

As time goes by, other passengers will board the train, many of whom will be significant - our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

Many will get off during the journey and leave a permanent vacuum in our lives.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

Many will go so unnoticed that we won't even know when they vacated their seats and got off the train!

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, good-byes, and farewells.

🚂🚋🚋🚋

A good journey is helping, loving, having a good relationship with all co passengers...and making sure that we give our best to make their journey comfortable.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

The mystery of this fabulous journey is:
We do not know at which station we ourselves are going to get off.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

So, we must live in the best way - adjust, forget, forgive and offer the best of what we have.

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to leave our seat... we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life."

🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋

Thank you for being one of the important passengers on my train... don't know when my station will come... don't want 2 miss saying: "Thank you."

🚂🚋🚋🚋

On The Train Of Life

Flying Sneaks

We can all fly.

Not necessarily through the air.

But through life and ultimately in death, we can fight and take flight and soar. 

It is our attitude and determination to overcome the hardest of hardships that we face. 

We feel the pain for the situations where we fell, failed, and lost control over outcomes. 

People who told us what they thought we are and where we can go...our ego busted, our shame written all over us, our regret and fear over what we did or should've done differently.

We can't go back.

We can only go forward.

We can learn, and we can grow.

We can compartmentalize the problems and hurt. 

We can pick up the pieces wiser than before and more determined to succeed.

Wings are not just for angels, but also for sneakers and for souls. 

I want to fly all around the world, and more so into the heavens to see my Heavenly father and be reunited for eternity with my family and loved ones.

Fly free and wide.

Fly high and unobstructed by poverty, illness, abuse, and loneliness. 

Fly and soar beyond anything we could ever have imagined. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Flying Sneaks

Bonding and Independence

It's an interesting phenomenon between parents and children. 

Parents (with G-d as the third partner) birth and raise their beautiful children. 

It is in a way a thankless job that we all savor and do with love, joy, and even gratitude just to have the opportunity. 

From sleepless nights to dirty diapers, homework to honing on how to be a mensch, family outings to school trips, braces to bar/bat- mitzvahs, birthdays to sleepover parties, shopping trips to college choices, as parents there is nothing we won't do for our children. 

Yet, the role of children is to learn and grow to be independent. Children must spread their wings, so they can function as their own adults and parents one day (and hopefully before they are 33 and still living in mom and dad's house)!

Yet to a parent, a child is always their child, no matter how big, smart, or successful they are (and even when, G-d willing, they surpass their parents in height, good looks, and achievements).

My father used to say, "Blood is thicker than water," meaning that it's a harsh world out there and the family always needs to stick together.

As children of Holocaust survivors, I learned that we can't stray to far (or far at all) from either our religion or family, because otherwise, "We let Hitler win."

We grew up living next to my grandparents (1 block away) and later in life, we always lived right near my parents as well. 

I watched TV and ate salami sandwiches with my grandmother and doted over my grandfather who sat on the bimah in his big chair as the president of our then struggling synagogue in Manhattan. 

Similarly, my parents were like surrogate parents to my own children and regularly babysat, picked the kids up from school/camp, made Sabbath meals, and happily spent time with them doing whatever. 

My parents were always there to advise, guide, lend a hand and support...no matter the cost to them, as my father used to say, "I would go through fire for my family" and this--his devotion and integrity--I knew was the utter truth. 

In turn, I tried to be a good son and although I disagreed and fought with my parents (mostly my dad) on many issues (often religious and sometimes politics as remember them), I knew they loved me dearly and I them.

As my dear parents are now gone, and I have become (slightly) a helicopter parent myself with forever worries about how my kids are doing, I know that they need to be independent--and that (more than) sometimes means making mistakes or falling down, and hopefully getting right back up again on their feet.

It is hard to learn that as parents, in many cases, we are just spectators--not that we know everything, we don't, but the maternal and paternal instinct is to safeguard our children whom we love and adore. 

Kids need three things to individuate successfully: stability, consistency, and safety. Absent those, you run the risk of unhealthy knotted bonding and stunted separation anxiety. 

Everyone needs to lead their own lives--we really only have one life to live. Yet, as family, we are very much the foundation and part of their inner strength for everything that follows from their determination, hard work, and blessings from Above. 

For parents and children, it is critical to balance the need for healthy separation and independence with love and bonding that is timeless.

We have to "let go and let G-d" and let our Children. 

The parents are the past and the children are the future, but we mean everything to each other. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bonding and Independence

Awesome Drumbeat of Life

Just thought this was such an awesome drum. 

On the top of the drum was a painting of a drummer. 

And on the side was a picture of a beautiful lady dancing. 

It was so simple, yet so eloquently done.

There is something amazing when you can literally feel the art come so alive.

Almost like seeing and feeling the vision of the artist as if looking directly through his eyes.

Our experience her on earth is that of our soul moving and acting in a surreal physical world.

But in so interacting, we leave behind and impact this world with artifacts, and deeds to others, that last beyond ourselves and the moment. 

What a wonderful world G-d has placed us in to experience his wonders and to learn and grow.

I can feel the drumming of my heart and the dancing of my feet all along the way.

And even though I don't comprehend everything I am experiencing or the decisions that I must make, in it contains not only deep intrigue, but also genuine surprise and challenge, and ultimately meaning, every step  along the marvelous path of G-d's garden. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Awesome Drumbeat of Life

The Unmarried

So I know like everything, marriage is a choice. 

But more and more people are choosing to be unmarried. 

Today, in the Wall Street Journal, 48% (almost half) of American eligible voters are unmarried. 

And almost 40% of births are to unmarried couples. 

The average age for getting married for women is 27 and for men 29.

While of course, it is tough to find (and keep) your soulmate and a lot of it has to do with mazel, it seems like there is not enough appreciation for marriage. 

Everyone who is or has been married, I am sure, has had their share of disagreements and fights with their "better half," and certainly some abusive and cheating relationships are way better off undone!

But for the most part, I believe that life is greater and fuller with someone special to share it with, and it is part of our learning and growth to couple, care, give, and love. 

I remember when my Opa (grandfather) lost my Oma (grandmother) and when my dad lost my mom and those where some of the most heart wrenching traumas, I think I have ever witnessed. 

"What G-d has joined together, let no man break apart." 

When I got married, the Rabbi blessed us that we should be Ra'im A'huvim or best friends, and that is a very beautiful blessing to have. 

My advice is to try it and hopefully like (or love) it--I think it's worth even all the I Love Lucy moments.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Unmarried

Should We Care What Others Think?

So I was talking with someone and they were telling me how self conscious they feel about what others think of them.

They said when they were in school, they were picked on, bullied, labeled, and made to feel different and excluded.

Whether it was their hair that was different or their lunchbox that got taken and hidden from them, the other kids were relentless. 

Now in life, they are still dealing with all those feelings.

Do they look right? 

Are they educated enough?

Is their profession something others will admire them for?

And on and on. 

And at a certain point, I said, "Isn't it more important what you think about yourself than what others think about you?"

And they said, "Sure, but I still feel like I have to live up to other people's standards. I don't want them to think bad about me or talk behind my back!"

I understand this way of thinking is based on trauma from the past and feelings of inadequacy and not fitting in. 

And we can spend our whole lives chasing this illusive acceptance from others. 

Or we can decide to pursue we what believe in and love, and to find healing in the good we do, rather than the nods or winks from others that we receive. 

If we are trying to live up to somebody else's arbitrary standards of perfection, cool, or being in the in-crowd, we may never be good enough.

Instead, if we pursue what we know is right from our moral compass and our heart and soul, and always do our best, we will attain the satisfaction that comes with healthy self-development and maturation. 

Seeking unconditional acceptance and love can definitely leave you feeling frustrated, self-hating, and even quite alone. 

But accepting yourself, developing yourself, and giving to G-d and to others will always leave you feeling fulfilled. 

Forget living as if your in the fishbowl, and strive for the Superbowl of achievement through incremental progress and goal attainment in your life. 

Start with making yourself proud and the others will come around. And if for some reason they don't, it's truly their deficiency and loss and not yours!

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Should We Care What Others Think?

Body of Armor

So had some disappointments recently.

Nothing terrible (and for that I am so grateful). 

Just life happening. 

Have to fail and fail and fail {more}...in order to get to that single success. 

Along the way, sometimes it feels like arrows going through your body.

Or as someone said to Tina Fey in a movie we watched yesterday:

"Hearts and minds, the two best places to shoot someone."

Is that funny? 

Ok, now I know that I am feeling a little down, because even that made me smirk but not fully smile. 

It's okay.

Life is a series of peaks and valleys. 

Time to climb that next peak. 

I will do it with body armor on and solid. 

Won't let those arrows pierce me, while I ascend.

I am trying, and learning and growing along the way.

If I am to fall, Hashem, in mercy, pick me up that I may keep doing my mission you have for me in life, so that I may ultimately prevail toward the destiny only that You know and have planned for me, for the good. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Body of Armor

We Watch The Years Go By

On a lighter note today, I took this photo of a couple watching their kids playing soccer.

They are sitting in Dick's chairs. 

His (blue) and hers (pink).

Very cute!

The new generation grows up and supplants their elders--who still may feel "young at heart!"

As I get older, it definitely seems like time goes faster (and faster). 

It isn't that some days aren't long, but that overall the less time we have as we get into the latter portions of our life, the quicker it all seems to be passing.

So much so that it all becomes like one big dream (it should never be a nightmare, G-d forbid). 

If only we could rewind and redo the portions of our lives where we made mistakes, hurt others or ourselves, or could have just done better.

I'm not sitting in those chairs yet, but when I do, I hope it is with pleasure of heart, mind, and soul--with G-d's mercy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

We Watch The Years Go By

Keeping Perspective

I thought this was a good photo to depict the importance of keeping perspective in life.

It is easy for any of us to "get bent out of shape" over big and little things alike. 

But if we sort of zoom out a little and see the larger perspective of things then perhaps we can realize that while our problems may be big for us, they are really small in comparison to the bigger picture or G-d's eye view. 

Yes, to us, little can be big, and big can be little, but if we could just recognize that we are part of something so much more, we can get that finer-tuned perspective on what's truly important and what's more trivial. 

It doesn't mean that our feelings of hurt, pain, loneliness, or injustices in the world are not important. 

They are significant for us to try to deal with them and make things better. 

Yet, we cannot go back in time and right all the wrongs, and we cannot change all the things about ourselves that we'd like to in a presto change-O wave of the hand moment. 

Life, change, and improvement are incremental. 

Sometimes, we make progress only then to fall back some. 

But overall, we need to keep the momentum of positive change for ourselves, forward.

But why are we even here? 

My wife said something the other day as follows:

"We are here in order to learn why we are here!"

Sounds confusing, but really maybe it's not. 

Our souls are sent here in the temporary vessels of our mortal bodies.

We are here so we can spend time here in this complex and interactive world, and learn from our relationships, positively and negatively with each other. 

The learning corrects our soul's imperfections and makes us better human and spiritual beings and brings us closer to G-d. 

At the same time that we are here, we should make it as pleasant as possible for ourselves and each other (but not over-the-top in a nihilistic and debauchery type of way). 

Stay fit, support yourselves and your family, live reasonably comfortably, so that you can pursue your karmic-driven learning and growth toward inner perfection. 

Like Buddha, we seek to purify our souls before they return to our Maker. 

In the realm of things, we are a very small microscopic human insect, but in the bigger picture, we are part of the ultimate magnanimous giving of opportunity to fix and maybe even come close to perfecting ourselves to be more like our beautiful and merciful Creator. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Keeping Perspective

Coupling, The Beauty Of

So just a couple of birds, right?

Not to me!

There were a number of reminders to me today about how special and fortunate it is for any of us to be with someone we love.

It's not just that two heads are better than one. 

Pretty much, everything is better with a partner who looks back at us and smiles. 

We magnify the joy and we share the sorrow, together.

What my dad used to call my mom, his "better half!"

What we are lacking in, often our soulmate can fill in the blank. 

And planning and executing is as a team, rather than flying solo. 

There is someone who keeps our lofty ideas in check and at the same time challenges us when it's time to think bigger. 

We learn from the other person, at the same time that we teach them maybe a little thing or two from our repertoire. 

Strategically, divide and conquer makes everything from routine tasks to complex projects easier to achieve, especially when we agree on the goal and the approach. 

Even the "occasional" disagreements and fights helps us to learn to control our temperament and to work things out or when to take a break and think things through afresh. 

Someone to reach out to.

Someone to hold unto. 

Someone to caress.

Someone to buttress. 

Someone who makes us a better person than the one we see in the mirror naked and mortal. 

Like 2 by 2 in Noah's Ark or in the birds and the bees, we are committed to that special someone. 

The Bat Kol calls out "so and so shall be married to so and so" like only the L-rd in heaven can decree from the rib of man to the flesh of a women. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Coupling, The Beauty Of

The Revolving Door

So work is a revolving door of people onboarding and offboarding.

New people are getting hired.

Old people are leaving.

Nothing is stable.

The relationships you made yesterday just left the revolving door today, and it's time to make new ones.

One "ran from Dodge."  Another retired.  A third left for the private sector.  Someone else is going just down the block.

On the inbound train are Summer interns. Contractors being hired on as regular staff.  Brand new people.  And even some people coming back after leaving for a short time.

People get antsy or have enough doing what they were doing, dealing with who they are dealing, or simply want a change and a challenge.

Others are shown the door under less fortunate circumstances.

Whether looking to pave new trails, find yourself a seat at the table, a leadership position, or a fatter paycheck--the eyes see, and the heart wants.

Some people are tethered to their job or even "retired in place (RIP)"--perhaps it's truly a great job and fit or it's like their life blood (their whole identity, their reason for being) or maybe, they just like collecting what they consider "easy money" for a job they know and love or can skate by on, or maybe they work with other great people they really like and every day is a fresh challenge and even fun. 

Recents studies indicate that retiring later in life actually increases longevity, but when is enough enough or are we leaving ourselves enough time to sit at the pool side and just enjoy life a little?

Millennials, famous for changing jobs often, now are at an average of 4 jobs by the time they hit 32.

And in Information Technology, job hopping is considered "the world's biggest game of musical chairs."

Why the increase in the job hopping bug in people's you know what?

Sure there is more opportunity for those that have the right skills, and people getting bored or stale is a bad thing, everyone wants to find a good fit for themselves and where they can have a real impact, and economic and social pressures push people to make the leap, perhaps there is also some foolishness involved--where the grass is always greener or not.

Sometimes though it really may be right for the person--and that's for each to explore and decide for themselves. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to John Garghan)

The Revolving Door

Meeting the Boss, John Kerry

What an awesome day today getting to meet Secretary of State, John Kerry. 

It is truly very cool to work for the Federal government and to be part of something much bigger than ourselves.

Meaning, purpose, contribution, service, and constant learning--that is a lot of goodness and opportunity to receive in one's career. 

Thank you G-d for the amazing moments as well as the daily grind to work through it all. ;-)

(Source Photo: Colleague)

Meeting the Boss, John Kerry