How Many Issues Do You Have?

I saw someone with this funny iPhone case in Starbucks.

It says, "More Issues Than Vogue."

So I was curious how many issues of Vogue have there been...

And I learned that they have published this fashion, beauty, and culture magazine since 1892--more than 120 years!

And in the Vogue archive, they claim to have "more than 400,000 pages in full color."

I suppose even some of the biggest nuts out there rarely have more "issues" (and pages)...although maybe many would certainly come close. 

But Vogue wins! ;-)

How Many Issues Do You Have?

You Can Always Go, Downtown!

This was fascinating to me at work this week...

I learned how people perceive who sits where and what it means to them.

They even come up with naming conventions for it.

So where (some) of the managers sit, that's called "The White House."

If you turn around and go towards the other end of the building, that's called, "downtown."

And crossing the hallway, past the elevators, that is called, "across the bridge,"

Clearly, the culture of each of these areas within the very same building can be completely different--some may be upbeat, friendly, and productive, and others not so much so or even the opposite with the folks running and screaming, "Get me outta here!"

The message...where people sit and even who sits next to whom is a big deal. 

Where you sit can indicate power, alliances, what is getting done, and at the other extreme who is on "the outs."

Like in the movie, Office Space,  when the guy with the red stapler is moved with his desk and all into the caverns of the building--basically to rot because management didn't quite like him. 

Often people who are in disfavor aren't fired, they are simply put in cherem--excommunicated--and to die a slow and painful career and emotional death. 

On the other hand, those who are the shining stars of the organization get moved to a higher floor, with a better view, possibly a corner office, and near the boss--aha, you're needed!

At work, I suggested a little enterprise architecture challenge to look at the three office areas: White House, Downtown, and Across the Bridge and to define the culture of these--what they are and also what do we want them to be for the people and how can we change to get there. 

No one should feel alienated, "less than" (as human beings), or put out to pasture (if they can be and want to be salvaged). 

The messages that are sent to people by assigning fancy titles, fatter paychecks, providing bigger and more luxuriously adorned offices is a form of performance management (reward and punishment)--but remember that those downtown or across the bridge--who may feel underutilized and not valued in the organization, may become the aggrieved marauding mobs that want to take the proverbial "kings head."

While there are differences in where people are at in their careers and where they sit, generally-speaking advancement and mobility should always be based clearly on fairness, equal opportunity, and respect and dignity for all people regardless of race, color, religion, sex, etc. No one should be sitting in the leaky basement!

Also, sometimes it really is just "the luck of the draw" where people end up--truly--where G-d provides the right opportunity, you have the right skill set, those involved have the right personalities "to click", and it's at the right time "to work out.".

What was also interesting about this to me is that one's persons White House is another person's downtown or across the bridge--it's all relative and we are all part of the carnivorous food chain. 

Just to share something personal for me at work is that one thing that I do when setting up a meeting is that I never put in the meeting notice that the location is my office, but rather, I put it down as "my space," because some people don't have offices, but rather cubes, and I don't want to make anyone feel bad. 

In the end, it's all G-d's space!  ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

You Can Always Go, Downtown!

rED pEPPERS Anyone

No, this is not a Washington, D.C. crime scene.

Just someone dropping their jar of roasted red peppers smack in the middle of the street in Foggy Bottom, and just in time for the morning commute.

Well, watch your step folks (there's broken glass there) and don't step in the slimmy red pepper sauce (ala Whole Foods "everyday value").

Just another hump day in the nation's Capital. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

rED pEPPERS Anyone

Can I Help You?

This was a beautiful story that I heard from a very senior colleague recently.

Years ago, when she started working, for whatever reason, it took many weeks for payroll to catch up and for your first check to arrive. 

In her case, she was notified that it would be something like 6 weeks before she would receive an actual paycheck.

Not a lot of good that does, when the mortgage comes due, the utility bill arrives in the mail, or you need to go shopping for groceries or medicine. 

What's interesting and inspiring here though is what this lady's boss did at that time. 

She recalled that when he heard that she would not be getting paid for so many weeks, he came to her and asked her if she needed any money in the meantime to hold her over--how could he help? 

He was willing to take his money and give it to her to help her through until her paycheck would arrive. 

WOW!!!

That is extremely powerful.

How many of you know a boss that would do that for you now or ever?

You see he was not only willing to step in and make some calls (which may or may not have helped anyway), but he was actually willing to pony up money from his own self/family (and which I understand he did not have a lot of either) and give it to her. 

This is caring. This is giving. This is selflessness. 

I am awed of people of this personal and moral character. 

These are people to emulate. 

There is a difference between a work environment that is purely work and get the job done, and those few and very special places still out there that have family values (and which at least try to think of you and treat you as part of some sort of an "extended family"). 

No work is not family...but decent people in any situation--in the office or on the Metro--can make a difference in someone else's life. 

To me this is a story worth retelling and reliving for others to benefit. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Can I Help You?

Thirsty and Hungry

I took this photo today of this funny banner hanging out a thoroughfare window in Washington, D.C.

This big 6 feet banner says "Moms Drink For Free."

So not sure, is it a special running at the local bar for the holidays or a wish by a bunch of mom's looking to get toasted?

Now, look carefully to the right, and you can see in the next window the messaging continues and it says "+ Send 1 Pizza."

So these "moms" are not only thirty but apparently hungry too--they want pizza and brew!

Not sure to what happened to "moms" just being normal mothers and good role models, and not hanging their menu cravings out the window in downtown. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Thirsty and Hungry

Turkey Head

The new insane fashion statement on Thanksgiving...wearing a turkey on your freakin' head.

This guy is at the beach and stopped for the photo--towel in hand, turkey on head.

But lest you think this is just for the beach crowd...

A obviously wealthy older couple are having their breakfast at no less than the Ritz Carlton.

And yes, they are sitting sipping their lattes and eating their danish WITH turkeys straddling their heads--both of them, facing off at each other!

What won't people do for some attention--to simply get others to look at them.

Perhaps to feel alive, relevant, or important in some way. 

Sure, there is fun in it too, but also some very mashugana stuff going on out there. 

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving from chilly, but sunny Fort Lauderdale. ;-)

Turkey Head

A Fat Pill

So true story...

This guy at work goes to me today, "Hey, did you get a fat pill?"

I am thinking to myself DID I put on a few pounds...but still how totally rude. 

My colleague must've seen me looking at him with some disbelief and irritation that he would say something like that to me. 

Then he gets this look on his face like, oh sh*t {oops that wasn't what I meant!}

Immediately, he reaches down to the counter in one of our common areas and picks up a Dunkin' Donut from the box that someone had brought in for Friday munchies. 

He's holding up the donut to his face mouthing, "A fat pill," as he takes a big bite engulfing half the donut (or more) in that one mouth shot. 

Well, I never heard of a Donkin' Donut called a fat pill before...

Probably lucky for someone that is what he was referring to (LOL). ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Fat Pill

Yes, Awkward

This is a funny (-sad) one for the day.

This book was a New York Times Bestseller!

There is a book, a Kindle edition, a board game, a calendar, and a website to upload your photos.

On Amazon, there are also versions with awkward family holiday and family with pet photos.

I can't believe this is for real either. 

Awkward, indeed. ;-)

Yes, Awkward

Okay For A Drive By

So, having grown up in New York, I've definitely heard of a drive by shooting, but never a "drive by meeting". 

Until a colleague asked me, "Okay for a drive by?"

A little taken aback, but I was available (and figured not in any imminent danger by his type of "drive by"), so I agreed to meet for a few minutes. 

The meeting was quick, like a car whizzing by, but we discussed what was needed and accomplished the immediate goal. 

Personally, I prefer when someone is driving the meeting, rather than having a drive by meeting, but we all need to be agile to whatever the day brings. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Okay For A Drive By

Head Ripped

Took this photo today in Washington, D.C.

Someone drew this funny face on a USPS Priority Postal Sticker. 

But the top was ripped off...ouch!

And so it ends up looking like he's screaming that somebody ripped off/open the top of his peabrain head. 

I love a little creativity...where's my fix? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Head Ripped

Why Do People Take The Cheese Off?

So my question of the day is why do people feel it's okay to take the cheese off the delicious macaronic AND cheese?

While I understand that it is the best part, isn't just a little bit of antisocial behavior that would drive people do something like this and leave everyone else with just the noodles underneath...

Anyway on the way back, one of my colleagues stopped me in the street to tell me some philosophy of life about how love makes the world go around, but revenge is the axis it turns on. Ouch@!

Perhaps this is April fools day making people a little snappy today. 

One last thought is from episode last week on The Vikings (great show on the History Channel)--excellent battle scene, but also memorable when the one of the characters says "Bad news travels a great deal slower than good news."

Maybe that's why no one told me before about the missing cheese on the macaroni today? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Do People Take The Cheese Off?

Naked And Yelled At

So true story...I'm in the changing room at the pool.

There is a guy there, just a few feet away, naked. 

The pool supervisor comes over and says, "Hey, where's your brother?"

The guy says, "Why?"

The pool supervisor says, "He asked for a change in schedule, and I told him he can work on Mondays, and he's not here."

The guy annoyed, says, "I'll tell him."

The pool supervisor, shakes his head, and walks away. 

The guy turns to me and says, "You know this is the only job where your boss can come up to you when you're stark naked and start yelling at you!"

I say, "Yeah, and you can't even say it's sexual harassment."  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Naked And Yelled At

Some Game This Is

I remember as a kid, my grandfather lived down the block from us on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. 

He was old and not in the best of health with a heart condition, hearing aids, and more. 

One day, he was coming home from the bank, and he went into the elevator in his building. 

He was followed by a punk, who after the elevator door closed, proceeded to grab my grandfather and choke him until he was unconscious. 

The thug took his wallet and left my grandfather on the floor of the elevator. 

Now, today I saw on the news about the Knockout Attack Game--and some "game" this is.

The attacker runs up behind the person unbeknownst and with full force slams their fist against a person head, knocking them unconscious, and when successful, this is done with one punch! 

In other cases, an entire gang will attack, punching and kicking a victim until they stop moving. 

While I couldn't locate the exact video that happened in a neighborhood in NY to a Jewish woman, this video of an attack on a Muslim girl in London about a year ago, approximates it very closely. 

While some victims of these attacks end up with broken jaws, skulls, shattered teeth, internal injuries, bleeding and more, others are not so lucky and end up dead. 

I never forgot what happened to my grandfather and the cowardly schmuck that attacked this old, helpless man--but at least, he apparently did it for the money. 

In these knockout attacks, when they ask the attackers why they do it, the response is for the fun and laughs. 

What a commentary of our society, when people brutally attack other people--not for money, revenge, self-defense, or principle--but simply to see others needlessly suffer and to take a form of intense joy in it. 

Perhaps, there are certain crimes for which the L-rd above must look down and mete out his own version of justice, in a way that restores order to this world of hope and despair.

Some Game This Is

Smellicious

This past week in the office we had an etiquette offense. 

Someone had some lunch that was smell-eeeee!

The whole suite was reeking from it.

First one person runs up to me as I enter the suite and says, "Did you smell it?"

Just getting over a cold, I say innocently, "Smell what?"

Then as I head down the hall, even the sniffles doesn't protect me from whatever's been cooking in lunch-land.

Ick--it's like a combination of day old leftovers that have been warmed over with a foul fishy smell combusting the whole work area. 

Next, I see one guy running around the cubicles with a air freshener--spraying and spraying--everywhere. 

Followed by a lady, with a similar aerosol, sticking her head in the offices and giving a spritz or two or three. 

Colleagues were gathering to discuss the stink and venture guesses as to who the culprit was that would invoke such horror in the office. 

Jokes and mild-mannered innuendoes followed to sort of lighten the mood of the folks that had been working extra hard the last few months. 

The stick stunk for almost 24-hours, but despite the bad smell in the air, the gregarious mood made up for it--as it was just another event we could bond around--the smell, the sights of the people running around with air fresheners, and the good-natured ridicule on who would offend and break the professional code of conduct--and leave everyone gasping for breath. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Smellicious

Engaging and Listening

It was unexpected that the day after I blogged about a number of change organizations attracting attention in our society, particularly from our young people, that I saw it for myself on the streets of Washington, D.C.

Yet another change organization--different from the two that I wrote about yesterday--this one called "Be The Change" with three national campaigns currently:

- Service Nation--encourages a year of national service "to tackle pressing social issues."

- Opportunity Nation--advocates for expanded economic mobility for all young people and to "close the opportunity gap in America."

- Got Your 6--seeks to create opportunities for veterans. 

Has "change" just become cliche or are people genuinely looking for something that is missing in today's culture, values, and norms. 

These smiling people certainly seem to be excited about change.

It just makes you wonder--what is it that people are desperately missing in their lives and want en masse to change? How do we help people find that missing link and achieve real enthusiasm for what we are doing and where we are going? 

As leaders, it is our duty to understand and meet the genuine needs of the people...somehow doing this on the street corner by volunteers (as hardworking and noble as it is) seems to missing the larger point of government by the people for the people. 

We need more politicians engaging and more people feeling they are being listened to. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Engaging and Listening

Hiring and Marrying Great People--Is It Random or Predictable?

The Atlantic (21 June 2013) has a startling article about hiring at Google--"It's a complete random mess."

With all the Google information genius and the brainteasers they test people with, all the rounds of interviews they put them through, they found "zero relationship" between how people scored in tens of thousands of interviews and how they performed in their jobs.

No only didn't the interviews predict good hires, but "colleges didn't matter, GPAs...didn't matter."

Only one guy who was the world's leading expert in something, and was hiring for a very specialized area seemed to be able to weed out the wheat from the chaff in interviews. 

"People are complicated, organizations are complicated, matching people with organizations is complicated."

This reminds me of what it's like to match people for intimate relationships...very, very difficult. Sort of like, men are complicated, women are complicated, and matching men and women is complicated.

Whether matching people to organizations or to each other, getting a good Shidduch is a big challenge and hard to predict the outcome. 

Perhaps that is why the average person goes through seven careers in a lifetime and "50% of all marriages in America end in divorce."

Making a good match with a company or a person is hard--because as I heard as a teenager, "you never know what the person is really like until you wake up with them in the morning"--morning breath, hair messed, bad dreams, pissy moods, and all. 

Similarly, with a company, until you work there and actually have to live the culture and deal with the people, policies, and politics, you won't really know what it's like just by asking around and reading up about them on Glassdoor.

Also, not only do you have imperfect information about the people and jobs when you try and match them up, but people change (organizations do to, but much more slowly--it's a bigger ship to turn around). 

Yes, while past performance are predictors of future performance--good skills and bad habits, they do stick around--at the same time, people do learn, grow, mature, and change--hopefully for the better. 

As the old Jewish saying goes, "with age, comes wisdom"--and hopefully, more mature and better ways of dealing and coping with challenging and complex people and situations. 

So what should you look for--whether in a new hire or a marriage mate? 

Start with a good heart and a good fit; look for a track record of success in life, a hunger to succeed personally and professionally, someone willing to learn and grow, and not be afraid to work hard, have some failures, and get back on their feet again--that's life. 

Say a prayer and don't be fooled by the superficial things or what people just say to get the job or the mate--look for what they do (action speaks louder than words) and remember, personal beauty is more than just skin deep. ;-)

Hiring and Marrying Great People--Is It Random or Predictable?

Women, Not Things

In the context of the brutal raping and murder last year of a 23-year old women on a bus to the disgusting rape of a 5-year girl more recently in India, the Wall Street Journal (17 May 2013) has an article on "To Wed Your Rapist, or Not: Indian Women on Trial."

It is an eye-opening article about the prejudices and horrible injustices that women face in India and other countries--and it's not only due to the misogyny of some, and power- and pleasure-seeking of others, but it is based also on justices, lawyers, law enforcement, legislators, and spiritual figures in society that perpetuate the oppression of woman. 

Some societies are stacking the deck, so women cannot reasonably win due protection--from legislators who do not write and pass substantive and equitable laws to protect women, to law enforcement that will not commit the resources to pursue the rapists and women beaters, to lawyers and judges that raise ridiculous demands for proving guilt and sentencing, and to spiritual leaders that blame the victim rather than hold the perpetrators to task. 

These people who are supposed to bring justice to the victims, instead add insult to injury. Some of these include:

- Ruling against rape victims because they didn't successfully fight back. For example, a "lower court ruled that she was lying citing among other things the fact that she could have scratched the man's genitals, but didn't."

- Professing that victims are at fault for causing the rape, such as by wearing skirts, having male friends (i.e. "asking for it"), or otherwise dressing or behaving immodestly. At the extreme, one prominent spiritual figure actually held that the victim could've avoided trouble if she had "chanted a prayer, taken one of her attackers by the hand, and called him 'brother'"--as if one can convince an attacker not to attack by holding their hands and gushing brotherhood.

- Teaching that rape is not possible for strong women or those of a labor caste. A 2005 textbook stated, "In normal circumstances, it is not possible for a single man to hold sexual intercourse with a healthy adult female in full possession of her senses against her will." Oh, really? I doubt these teachers would like to test this hypothesis on their beloved mothers, sisters, wives, or daughters.

In Indian and other societies where women are so degraded, there is a standing notion of a rape victim having to marry their rapist--to make things right. Yet, how can this resolve anything? As if the incident of rape is not enough, the victim must endure a lifetime of rape--and by an individual without character or soul, who could commit such a brutal, violent act to begin with. 

Forcing the victim to marry the rapist does not spare a woman the challenge of marrying normally after such an traumatic act, but rather it precludes her from ever having an opportunity to rid herself of the pain and shame, and go on to be with someone who truly loves and respects her as a person, and not an object. 

As long as societies marginalize women through their beliefs, teachings, and systems of injustice, women will not be spared the agonizing harm they suffer by men who abuse their status of power. But as the old saying goes, "what goes around, comes around,"--what is incredible is that so many of these people just see it going, but don't see it coming. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Women, Not Things

Bathroom Kudos

Going to a restaurant the other night, I stepped into the men's room for a minute and noticed this sticker on the right of the mirror that said "Great Work" in big yellow letters on the red background. 

I wondered what a strange sign to put in such a private setting as if we need applause for going to the bathroom or washing our hands. 

Then again, if you've seen many men's bathrooms, it could certainly be a time for kudos when it is kept clean and people use good personal hygiene--hence, the other sticker on the left, "It's cool to care!"

The frog sticker in the middle, he's just keeping an eye on things and thanking everyone for the job well done. 

This is a funny commentary on our society these days where people seem to need a pat on the back for everything--even the highly mundane and personal. 

Presumably, going to the men's room will never be the same boring, uncaring event again--at least at this fine eating establishment. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bathroom Kudos

Down In The Dumps

This is a display at a retailer in posh Rockville, Maryland.

As crazy as these mugs are including their $4 price tag, what adds to this comical scene is that there is the broom leaning up against the stack on the right, which I suppose you would rightfully need if these mugs were accurate. 

I am sitting here thinking (briefly--very) about what exactly the social commentary is for these nasty mugs, and I believe that this is about people wanting to let down their (no, not their pants!) facade of perfection and propriety and having to do everything right at work and at home, and just instead for a while being silly, crude, and even (a little) stupid.  

It's like the person who says the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time and says, "Did I say that?" And everyone starts laughing as the tension of the moment is swept away. 

I think to some extent we all need that...to break the tension of the everyday rat race we live, and to give everyone pause to just say or do something a little silly and for everyone just to laugh it off. And then the real business can go on with everyone knowing that there are real human beings behind those suits and stone faces. 

Anyway, this was probably the strangest display in a retail store I have seen, outside of the Village in New York City, but that's another story. ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Down In The Dumps

Hurry Up and Wait

This guy from the military used to joke that they were always being told to hurry up only to find that once they got to their destination, they had to sit around and wait--he called this "Hurry up and wait!"

It's a paradox of our times that we are constantly in a hurry to get to work, have our meetings, get our work done, get home, and a million and one other things. PTA meeting or baseball practice anyone? 

From fast food to information at the speed of light, it's like we know we are up against the clock and no matter how fast we go it's not fast enough. 

Yet, it is exactly in rushing from thing to thing and to get things done that we really miss the point--to savor every moment. 

I think the saying take time to smell the roses is very important. And someday if you don't, you will look back and wonder where did all the time go and why was it so--fast and--miserable.

The Wall Street Journal (14 March 2013) has a book review today on "The Slow Fix" by Carl Honore.

Honore says we have a "cultural addiction to speed" and he advises that we take more time to enjoy life--our work, our relationships, our interests, and I would add our spirituality.

It's funny but in the book review, it mentions how a Viennese priest admits that he even prays to fast. And I have to chuckle at that because I too remember from my childhood, so many synagogue services, where speed praying and prayer by rote took the joy and meaning away the true connection I wanted to be building with my maker. 

Even in a work setting, often everything seems like a #1 priority and there is more to do than there are hours in the day or people to do it.

While working quickly and efficiently is desirable, when people are overworked and overwhelmed that is how costly mistakes happen and people get burned out. 

In all aspects of our lives, we need to make good progress, but at the same time, ensure that our lives are filled with meaning that you can only get by paying attention to each and every wonderful moment. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Jayme Frye)

Hurry Up and Wait