Why Do People Take The Cheese Off?

So my question of the day is why do people feel it's okay to take the cheese off the delicious macaronic AND cheese?

While I understand that it is the best part, isn't just a little bit of antisocial behavior that would drive people do something like this and leave everyone else with just the noodles underneath...

Anyway on the way back, one of my colleagues stopped me in the street to tell me some philosophy of life about how love makes the world go around, but revenge is the axis it turns on. Ouch@!

Perhaps this is April fools day making people a little snappy today. 

One last thought is from episode last week on The Vikings (great show on the History Channel)--excellent battle scene, but also memorable when the one of the characters says "Bad news travels a great deal slower than good news."

Maybe that's why no one told me before about the missing cheese on the macaroni today? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Do People Take The Cheese Off?

Naked And Yelled At

So true story...I'm in the changing room at the pool.

There is a guy there, just a few feet away, naked. 

The pool supervisor comes over and says, "Hey, where's your brother?"

The guy says, "Why?"

The pool supervisor says, "He asked for a change in schedule, and I told him he can work on Mondays, and he's not here."

The guy annoyed, says, "I'll tell him."

The pool supervisor, shakes his head, and walks away. 

The guy turns to me and says, "You know this is the only job where your boss can come up to you when you're stark naked and start yelling at you!"

I say, "Yeah, and you can't even say it's sexual harassment."  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Naked And Yelled At

Some Game This Is

I remember as a kid, my grandfather lived down the block from us on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. 

He was old and not in the best of health with a heart condition, hearing aids, and more. 

One day, he was coming home from the bank, and he went into the elevator in his building. 

He was followed by a punk, who after the elevator door closed, proceeded to grab my grandfather and choke him until he was unconscious. 

The thug took his wallet and left my grandfather on the floor of the elevator. 

Now, today I saw on the news about the Knockout Attack Game--and some "game" this is.

The attacker runs up behind the person unbeknownst and with full force slams their fist against a person head, knocking them unconscious, and when successful, this is done with one punch! 

In other cases, an entire gang will attack, punching and kicking a victim until they stop moving. 

While I couldn't locate the exact video that happened in a neighborhood in NY to a Jewish woman, this video of an attack on a Muslim girl in London about a year ago, approximates it very closely. 

While some victims of these attacks end up with broken jaws, skulls, shattered teeth, internal injuries, bleeding and more, others are not so lucky and end up dead. 

I never forgot what happened to my grandfather and the cowardly schmuck that attacked this old, helpless man--but at least, he apparently did it for the money. 

In these knockout attacks, when they ask the attackers why they do it, the response is for the fun and laughs. 

What a commentary of our society, when people brutally attack other people--not for money, revenge, self-defense, or principle--but simply to see others needlessly suffer and to take a form of intense joy in it. 

Perhaps, there are certain crimes for which the L-rd above must look down and mete out his own version of justice, in a way that restores order to this world of hope and despair.

Some Game This Is

Smellicious

This past week in the office we had an etiquette offense. 

Someone had some lunch that was smell-eeeee!

The whole suite was reeking from it.

First one person runs up to me as I enter the suite and says, "Did you smell it?"

Just getting over a cold, I say innocently, "Smell what?"

Then as I head down the hall, even the sniffles doesn't protect me from whatever's been cooking in lunch-land.

Ick--it's like a combination of day old leftovers that have been warmed over with a foul fishy smell combusting the whole work area. 

Next, I see one guy running around the cubicles with a air freshener--spraying and spraying--everywhere. 

Followed by a lady, with a similar aerosol, sticking her head in the offices and giving a spritz or two or three. 

Colleagues were gathering to discuss the stink and venture guesses as to who the culprit was that would invoke such horror in the office. 

Jokes and mild-mannered innuendoes followed to sort of lighten the mood of the folks that had been working extra hard the last few months. 

The stick stunk for almost 24-hours, but despite the bad smell in the air, the gregarious mood made up for it--as it was just another event we could bond around--the smell, the sights of the people running around with air fresheners, and the good-natured ridicule on who would offend and break the professional code of conduct--and leave everyone gasping for breath. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Smellicious

Engaging and Listening

It was unexpected that the day after I blogged about a number of change organizations attracting attention in our society, particularly from our young people, that I saw it for myself on the streets of Washington, D.C.

Yet another change organization--different from the two that I wrote about yesterday--this one called "Be The Change" with three national campaigns currently:

- Service Nation--encourages a year of national service "to tackle pressing social issues."

- Opportunity Nation--advocates for expanded economic mobility for all young people and to "close the opportunity gap in America."

- Got Your 6--seeks to create opportunities for veterans. 

Has "change" just become cliche or are people genuinely looking for something that is missing in today's culture, values, and norms. 

These smiling people certainly seem to be excited about change.

It just makes you wonder--what is it that people are desperately missing in their lives and want en masse to change? How do we help people find that missing link and achieve real enthusiasm for what we are doing and where we are going? 

As leaders, it is our duty to understand and meet the genuine needs of the people...somehow doing this on the street corner by volunteers (as hardworking and noble as it is) seems to missing the larger point of government by the people for the people. 

We need more politicians engaging and more people feeling they are being listened to. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Engaging and Listening

Hiring and Marrying Great People--Is It Random or Predictable?

The Atlantic (21 June 2013) has a startling article about hiring at Google--"It's a complete random mess."

With all the Google information genius and the brainteasers they test people with, all the rounds of interviews they put them through, they found "zero relationship" between how people scored in tens of thousands of interviews and how they performed in their jobs.

No only didn't the interviews predict good hires, but "colleges didn't matter, GPAs...didn't matter."

Only one guy who was the world's leading expert in something, and was hiring for a very specialized area seemed to be able to weed out the wheat from the chaff in interviews. 

"People are complicated, organizations are complicated, matching people with organizations is complicated."

This reminds me of what it's like to match people for intimate relationships...very, very difficult. Sort of like, men are complicated, women are complicated, and matching men and women is complicated.

Whether matching people to organizations or to each other, getting a good Shidduch is a big challenge and hard to predict the outcome. 

Perhaps that is why the average person goes through seven careers in a lifetime and "50% of all marriages in America end in divorce."

Making a good match with a company or a person is hard--because as I heard as a teenager, "you never know what the person is really like until you wake up with them in the morning"--morning breath, hair messed, bad dreams, pissy moods, and all. 

Similarly, with a company, until you work there and actually have to live the culture and deal with the people, policies, and politics, you won't really know what it's like just by asking around and reading up about them on Glassdoor.

Also, not only do you have imperfect information about the people and jobs when you try and match them up, but people change (organizations do to, but much more slowly--it's a bigger ship to turn around). 

Yes, while past performance are predictors of future performance--good skills and bad habits, they do stick around--at the same time, people do learn, grow, mature, and change--hopefully for the better. 

As the old Jewish saying goes, "with age, comes wisdom"--and hopefully, more mature and better ways of dealing and coping with challenging and complex people and situations. 

So what should you look for--whether in a new hire or a marriage mate? 

Start with a good heart and a good fit; look for a track record of success in life, a hunger to succeed personally and professionally, someone willing to learn and grow, and not be afraid to work hard, have some failures, and get back on their feet again--that's life. 

Say a prayer and don't be fooled by the superficial things or what people just say to get the job or the mate--look for what they do (action speaks louder than words) and remember, personal beauty is more than just skin deep. ;-)

Hiring and Marrying Great People--Is It Random or Predictable?

Women, Not Things

In the context of the brutal raping and murder last year of a 23-year old women on a bus to the disgusting rape of a 5-year girl more recently in India, the Wall Street Journal (17 May 2013) has an article on "To Wed Your Rapist, or Not: Indian Women on Trial."

It is an eye-opening article about the prejudices and horrible injustices that women face in India and other countries--and it's not only due to the misogyny of some, and power- and pleasure-seeking of others, but it is based also on justices, lawyers, law enforcement, legislators, and spiritual figures in society that perpetuate the oppression of woman. 

Some societies are stacking the deck, so women cannot reasonably win due protection--from legislators who do not write and pass substantive and equitable laws to protect women, to law enforcement that will not commit the resources to pursue the rapists and women beaters, to lawyers and judges that raise ridiculous demands for proving guilt and sentencing, and to spiritual leaders that blame the victim rather than hold the perpetrators to task. 

These people who are supposed to bring justice to the victims, instead add insult to injury. Some of these include:

- Ruling against rape victims because they didn't successfully fight back. For example, a "lower court ruled that she was lying citing among other things the fact that she could have scratched the man's genitals, but didn't."

- Professing that victims are at fault for causing the rape, such as by wearing skirts, having male friends (i.e. "asking for it"), or otherwise dressing or behaving immodestly. At the extreme, one prominent spiritual figure actually held that the victim could've avoided trouble if she had "chanted a prayer, taken one of her attackers by the hand, and called him 'brother'"--as if one can convince an attacker not to attack by holding their hands and gushing brotherhood.

- Teaching that rape is not possible for strong women or those of a labor caste. A 2005 textbook stated, "In normal circumstances, it is not possible for a single man to hold sexual intercourse with a healthy adult female in full possession of her senses against her will." Oh, really? I doubt these teachers would like to test this hypothesis on their beloved mothers, sisters, wives, or daughters.

In Indian and other societies where women are so degraded, there is a standing notion of a rape victim having to marry their rapist--to make things right. Yet, how can this resolve anything? As if the incident of rape is not enough, the victim must endure a lifetime of rape--and by an individual without character or soul, who could commit such a brutal, violent act to begin with. 

Forcing the victim to marry the rapist does not spare a woman the challenge of marrying normally after such an traumatic act, but rather it precludes her from ever having an opportunity to rid herself of the pain and shame, and go on to be with someone who truly loves and respects her as a person, and not an object. 

As long as societies marginalize women through their beliefs, teachings, and systems of injustice, women will not be spared the agonizing harm they suffer by men who abuse their status of power. But as the old saying goes, "what goes around, comes around,"--what is incredible is that so many of these people just see it going, but don't see it coming. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Women, Not Things

Bathroom Kudos

Going to a restaurant the other night, I stepped into the men's room for a minute and noticed this sticker on the right of the mirror that said "Great Work" in big yellow letters on the red background. 

I wondered what a strange sign to put in such a private setting as if we need applause for going to the bathroom or washing our hands. 

Then again, if you've seen many men's bathrooms, it could certainly be a time for kudos when it is kept clean and people use good personal hygiene--hence, the other sticker on the left, "It's cool to care!"

The frog sticker in the middle, he's just keeping an eye on things and thanking everyone for the job well done. 

This is a funny commentary on our society these days where people seem to need a pat on the back for everything--even the highly mundane and personal. 

Presumably, going to the men's room will never be the same boring, uncaring event again--at least at this fine eating establishment. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bathroom Kudos

Down In The Dumps

This is a display at a retailer in posh Rockville, Maryland.

As crazy as these mugs are including their $4 price tag, what adds to this comical scene is that there is the broom leaning up against the stack on the right, which I suppose you would rightfully need if these mugs were accurate. 

I am sitting here thinking (briefly--very) about what exactly the social commentary is for these nasty mugs, and I believe that this is about people wanting to let down their (no, not their pants!) facade of perfection and propriety and having to do everything right at work and at home, and just instead for a while being silly, crude, and even (a little) stupid.  

It's like the person who says the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time and says, "Did I say that?" And everyone starts laughing as the tension of the moment is swept away. 

I think to some extent we all need that...to break the tension of the everyday rat race we live, and to give everyone pause to just say or do something a little silly and for everyone just to laugh it off. And then the real business can go on with everyone knowing that there are real human beings behind those suits and stone faces. 

Anyway, this was probably the strangest display in a retail store I have seen, outside of the Village in New York City, but that's another story. ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Down In The Dumps

Hurry Up and Wait

This guy from the military used to joke that they were always being told to hurry up only to find that once they got to their destination, they had to sit around and wait--he called this "Hurry up and wait!"

It's a paradox of our times that we are constantly in a hurry to get to work, have our meetings, get our work done, get home, and a million and one other things. PTA meeting or baseball practice anyone? 

From fast food to information at the speed of light, it's like we know we are up against the clock and no matter how fast we go it's not fast enough. 

Yet, it is exactly in rushing from thing to thing and to get things done that we really miss the point--to savor every moment. 

I think the saying take time to smell the roses is very important. And someday if you don't, you will look back and wonder where did all the time go and why was it so--fast and--miserable.

The Wall Street Journal (14 March 2013) has a book review today on "The Slow Fix" by Carl Honore.

Honore says we have a "cultural addiction to speed" and he advises that we take more time to enjoy life--our work, our relationships, our interests, and I would add our spirituality.

It's funny but in the book review, it mentions how a Viennese priest admits that he even prays to fast. And I have to chuckle at that because I too remember from my childhood, so many synagogue services, where speed praying and prayer by rote took the joy and meaning away the true connection I wanted to be building with my maker. 

Even in a work setting, often everything seems like a #1 priority and there is more to do than there are hours in the day or people to do it.

While working quickly and efficiently is desirable, when people are overworked and overwhelmed that is how costly mistakes happen and people get burned out. 

In all aspects of our lives, we need to make good progress, but at the same time, ensure that our lives are filled with meaning that you can only get by paying attention to each and every wonderful moment. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Jayme Frye)

Hurry Up and Wait

Cafe Barbie Debuts 2013

What an awesome idea for a cafe that can appeal to girls and women worldwide--a Barbie Cafe.

It opened in Taiwan last week and it is licensed by Mattel the founder of Barbie dolls (1959).

At 7,100 square feet and with $1.7 million dollars of investment, you get a lot of Barbie ambience--especially plenty of pink and frills (and calorie counting).

While some women may be turned off to the girlie stigma of a Barbie Cafe, there are probably many others who are enchanted with the dreamy image it bring from childhood and the ability to express a certain femininity, the Barbie way.

My prediction--in the near future, there is going to be a Ken Cafe opening up right across the street. ;-)

Cafe Barbie Debuts 2013

Parking Lot Crazy Car

One man's trash is another man's treasure--funny, interesting, weird, how does it make you feel?

This car, aside from the missing fender, window, and masking tape and cord holding it together, has got a crown of mementos on its hood and roof (aside from the stuff piled in the side and rear seat).

A collage, mosaic--artsy self expression--this car is someone's jewel. 

Almost can't believe that it still runs, but it got to this shopping mall parking lot somehow--and it manages to get its share of attention.

Wondering--is this a hoarder's mentality and does the person's home also look like this too or is this someone's big statement about their values and beliefs? 

Definitely unique, an eye catcher, and a whole different way to think of a Honda. ;-)

(Source photo: me)

Parking Lot Crazy Car

Autocomplete: Do Zombies (What)?

The autocomplete feature in search engines can tell us a lot about what people are thinking and asking about.

According to the New York Times (21 November 2012) "sites like Google and Bing are showing the precise questions that are most frequently asked."

Autocomplete suggests the rest of your search term based on the most popular things that others have asked for, so it speeds up your search selection by anticipating what you are looking for and by reducing spelling errors in your search terms.

Another advantage to seeing popular searches is to understand what the larger population is thinking about and looking for--this gives us insight into culture, norms, values, and issues of the time. 

I did a simple google search of "do zombies" and as you can see the most popular searches are about whether zombies: poop, exist, sleep, "really exist," and have brains. 

Even more disappointing than people asking whether zombies really exist is that the #1 search on zombies is about whether they poop--what does that say about our lagging educational system?

I would at least have imagined that the preppers--those infatuated with the end of the world and with preparation for survival--would at least be searching for terms like:

Do zombies...

pose a real threat to human survival?

have (certain) vulnerabilities?

ever die?

have feelings?

have children?

beat vampires (or vice versa)?

I suppose autocomplete is good at crowdsourcing search terms of what others are thinking about, but it is only as good as those doing the ultimate searching--our collection intelligence at work. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Autocomplete: Do Zombies (What)?

Party Time, Excellent.

Passing outside, I encountered this interesting person, who reminded of when I used to visit  Greenwich Village in NY.

- Long blond wig
- Big bow on top
- Overflowing boots on their feet
- Bright blue stockings on the legs
- Underpants on the outside
- Jacket with big cuffs and strips
- And giving "the finger" to passerby's

Seemed like a real culture commentary.

It's important to value all sorts of different people--it's the fabric of our society and everyone adds to it.

Party Time, Excellent.

Sorry Amanda Todd

Just watched this video with my daughter about Amanda Todd, the 15 year old girl from Canada who hung herself on Wednesday. 

She made some mistakes with some guys--looks like she was taken advantage of--and then she was ruthlessly bullied, tormented, tagged, shamed, followed, beaten, and encouraged to kill herself. 

After depression, anxiety, drugs, alcohol, cutting, and drinking bleach, she finally hung herself and is gone. 

To those horrible people that pursued this young women and essentially murdered her--you are vile and disgusting and G-d will one day bring you to final judgement. 

To the family of Amanda Todd, our heart, prayers, and sympathy goes out to you--your daughter and all decent people like her deserve better from society. 

If we can only learn from this tragedy, perhaps her death will not have been in vain. 

She wrote: "I have nobody. I need somebody. :(" 

Hopefully, she is now with the heavenly father--and has not just somebody, but the one that matters the most.

Sorry Amanda Todd

Innovation Echtzing and Krechtzing

It used to be that either you were innovative or not. 

Either you came up with out of the box thinking, new paradigms for doing things, cool new designs, and products and services using the latest and greatest technology--or you would eventually be dead in the marketplace and life. 

Now as things seem to slow down a little on the innovators front--we're echtzing and krechtzing (hemming and hawing) about what is innovation anyway?

The Wall Street Journal (5 October 2012) wrote about "The Innovator's Enigma"--asking whether incremental innovation is real innovation. 

For example, when P&G took the sleepy, drowsy part of the medication of NyQuil and made it into it's own medicine called ZzzQuil--was that innovative or just "incremental, derivative."

The article notes that big periods of explosive upheavals in innovation are often followed by "period of consolidation and then by valuable incremental innovation involving the same product."

It's almost like a lets face it--you can't have the equivalent of the iPhone created every day--or can you?

When after the iPhone, people now ask for an iFighter (WSJ, 24 July 2012) and the real iRobot (like envisioned in the movie with Will Smith)--aren't we talking about applying real breakthrough innovation to every facet of our lives?

With Apple coming forward with the integration model of innovation bringing together hardware and software --the bar has been raised on the expectation for innovation not just being functionally excellent, but design cool. Now, Fast Company states (October 2012), "good design is good business." 

But even then innovation is questioned as to its real meaning and impact with Bloomberg BusinessWeek (2 August 2012) stating that "it's easier to copy than to innovate" and "being inspired by a good product and seeking to make even better products is called competition."

Here's another from Harvard Business Review (April 2012) called "Celebrate Innovation, No Matter Where It Occurs" that calls out "adjacencies" as bona fide innovation too, where an adjacency is exploiting "related and nearby opportunities." since inventions are often so large that "inventor's can't exploit them alone" and there are associated opportunities for other (think of new cool iPhone cases for the new cool iPhone). 

One more thing I learned recently is that innovation isn't just the great new product or service offering, but how you use it. 

With Newsweek (17 September 2012), calling into question the iPhone's "awkward invasion of the lavatory" with "not just phones, but tablets and e-readers and even our laptops" replacing the good 'ol Reader's Digest in the bathrooms around the world, then things have truly changed deep culturally and not just superficially technologically. 

This message was brought home last year, when a friend told me how they dropped their iPhone in the toilet leading to a speedy drowning death for the smartphone, now not looking too smart anymore. 

So innovation come in all shapes and sizes and can be mega big, incremental small, derivative, or even adjacent--the important thing is that we keep our thinking caps on and working towards better, faster, and cheaper all the time. 

Sometimes, I do look back and miss things or ways of doing them from the past, so innovation isn't always--just by definition--a good thing, but what we really come up with and how we apply it perhaps can make all the difference.  

The perfect example for me is carving out some genuine space and quiet time to really think about life and innovate in what has become a 24/7 now always-on society that demands innovation but that often squashes it with incessant noise. 

Turn down the noise, let innovation thrive afresh, and be sure you make a genuine difference, and whatever type it is that it is not just as they would say in Hebrew school more dreck (junk) or another narrishkeit (foolishness) in the making.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Innovation Echtzing and Krechtzing

Why Orange?

So I made some new "friends" on the train home this evening.

These two Tibetan Buddhist Monks.

I asked about their amazing robes--"why orange?"

They said, they didn't know why, but told me black, white, blue, and red were a no-no. 

They started to teach words from their language to another inquisitive fellow from New York riding on the train, and asking them how to say this and that.

They were laughing at his pronunciation. 

As he was about to get off the train, he grabbed for their hands and gave them a good shake, and off he went. 

I asked if I could take their picture and they smiled and immediately sort of sat up and posed. 

At one point on the ride, the monk on the right pulls out a cell phone and starts talking away--the modern technology was sort of a funny contrast with their religious robes and serene nature. 

Anyway, I loved this picture and wanted to share this experience. 

Hope you enjoy!

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Orange?

Howie Mandel Was Right All Along

This was a really funny picture I saw exhorting people to wash their hands. 

If you don't, this little green slime creature is going to come and get you.

It reminded me of the other day heading into the bathroom, and I see this guy coming the other way out of one of the Stalls. 

He actually does head to the sink to the wash his hands--he's in the minority in this country, I understand. 

Well the sink is one of the automatic ones and has no faucets.

The guy sticks his hands underneath....nothing. 

He starts waving his (dirty) hands...and still nothing.

After the third try...he throws his hands up, looks at me, and says, "Now that's awkward" and proceeds to walk out the bathroom holding his hands literally at full arms length. 

I hoped that he didn't run into anyone he knows on the way and reached out to shake their hands--because they would've gotten a nasty surprise, indeed. 

This sign tells it the way it is--sorry folks. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Howie Mandel Was Right All Along

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

This is a photo I took at Harpers Ferry.

There was a train coming by pretty fast, and on the flatbeds were what seemed like a endless line of Tractors. 

-- Red, red, red, red, blue, and then red again. 

I hurried to get my iPhone out and capture this photo while the train was rushing by at full speed. 

I love this shot, because it teaches an important lesson about diversity. 

Firstly, it reminds me of the children's song, "One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong."

From early in life, we are taught to conform a certain way--based on norms, culture, values, policies, rules, regulations, laws, religion, and so on. 

There always seems to be a reason that we have to talk, dress, think, and conduct ourselves--properly, politically-correct, and just like everyone else. 

And we are warned that "the nail that sticks out, gets hammered down"--so don't do it--it's too risky--you'll be labeled bad or worse yet, crazy. 

So while creativity and innovation is valued if it can bring someone a nice profit, we are still cautioned not to go out too far on a limb or else you risk getting ridiculed and rejected--hey "you may never work again in this town."

But in this picture, the tractors tell a different story--that it's okay to be a blue tractor in a long parade of red ones. 

No, the blue tractor wasn't a mistake, it isn't abnormal or alien or evil, it's just different and it's cool. 

The blue tractor stands out, but it isn't a bad thing to stand out--and the blue tractor won't get hammered down.

It's okay to be a blue tractor in a long procession of red tractors--and it's great to just be who you are--blue, red, yellow, green, or whatever. 

Conformity is not normalcy--it's just look-alike, copycat, and probably even boring. 

Being different can be novel, inventive, out-of-the-box and exciting--and more important it can usher in needed change.

I think we need more blue tractors in a red tractor world.

Will you take a chance and be a blue tractor too? 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

Beating Social Media Isolation

There is a debate called the "Internet Paradox" about whether social media is actually connecting us or making us more feel more isolated.  

I think it is actually a bit of both as we are connected to more people with time and space virtually no impediment any longer; however, those connections are often more shallow and less fulfilling.

There is an important article in The Atlantic (May 2012) called "Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?" that lends tremendous perspective on information technology, social media and our relationships.
The premise is that "for all this [new] connectivity, new research suggests that we have never been lonelier."

The article is very absolute that despite all the technology and communication at our fingertips, we are experiencing unbelievable loneliness that is making people miserable, and the author calls out our almost incessant feelings of unprecedented alienation, an epidemic of loneliness, and social disintegration.

Of course, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that almost everyone can share, but there are also numerous studies supporting this, including: 

1) Study on Confidants (2004)--showed that our average number of confidants shrunk by almost 50% from approximately 3 people in 1985 to 2 people in 2004; moreover, in 1985 only 10% of Americans said they had no one to talk to, but this number jumped 1.5 times to 25% by 2004. 

2) AARP Study (2010)--that showed that the percentage of adults over 45 that were chronically lonely had almost doubled from 20% in 2000 to 35% in 2010.

Some important takeaways from the research:

- Married people are less lonely than singles, if their spouses are confidants.

- "Active believers" in G-d were less lonely, but not for those "with mere belief in G-d."

- People are going to mental professionals (psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, therapists, and counselors) as "replacement confidants." 

- Loneliness is "extremely bad for your health."

- Our appetite for independence, self-reliance, self-determination, and individualism can lead to the very loneliness that can makes people miserable. 

- Using social media, we are compelled to assert our constant happiness and curate our exhibitionism of the self--"we are imprison[ed] in the business of self-presenting."

- Technology tools can lead to more integration or more isolation, depending on what we do with them--do we practice "passive consumption and broadcasting" or do we cultivate deeper personal interactions from our social networks?

Personally, I like social media and find it an important tool to connect, build and maintain relationships, share, and also relax and have fun online. 

But I realize that technology is not a substitute for other forms of human interaction that can go much deeper such as when looking into someone's eyes or holding their hand, sharing life events, laughing and crying together, and confiding in each other.

In January 2011, CNBC ran a special called "The Facebook Obsession," the name of which represents the almost 1 billion people globally that use it. To me though, the real Facebook obsession is how preoccupied people get with it, practically forgetting that virtual reality, online, is not the same as physical, emotional, and spiritual reality that we experience offline.

At times, offline, real-world relationships can be particularly tough--challenging and painful to work out our differences--but also where we find some of the deepest meaning of anything we can do in this life. 

Facebook and other social media's biggest challenge is to break the trend of isolation that people are feeling and make the experience one that is truly satisfying and can be taken to many different levels online and off--so that we do not end up a society of social media zombies dying of loneliness. 

Social media companies can do this not just for altruistic reasons, but because if they offer a more integrated solution for relationships, they will also be more profitable in the end. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to h.koppdelaney)

Beating Social Media Isolation