Hate, Discrimination, and Violence...But We're One

As we live day-to-day in near endless and escalating cycles of hate, discrimination and violence along national, religious, racial, gender and other divides...

It is nice and refreshing to see someone wearing a t-shirt this morning that says:

"One World, One Dream"

I don't know what the Asian characters above it say...but hopefully, it's more hopefullness!

Unfortunately, without a common enemy--whether disasters, plague or alien invasion--what divides us normally seems stronger than what holds us together.

Hence, routine murders, maimings, abductions, rapes, enslavement, and harrassment of one neighbor against the other. 

We behave like little children fighting for the toys in the sandbox except with consequences that can elevate all the way to genocide or WMD. 

As we squabble with each other, perhaps there are moments when we can have the self-awareness and strength of character to actually look in the mirror with some shame for how low we'll stoop to get our share in a world of divine comedy. 

Wouldn't it be nice for humanity to change ways and instead have compassion on each other (children of G-d), share the toys, and end the miserable hate. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Hate, Discrimination, and Violence...But We're One

Blessing Each Other

Today in synagogue, we did not have any Kohanim (members of the priestly class) to do the ritual blessing of the people. 

So Rabbi Haim Ovadia did something really creative and beautiful.

He had each of us turn to our neighbor and put our hands over each other's heads and recite the blessing from the Torah:

"May G-d bless and guide you.
May G-d shine his countenance on you and be gracious to you.
May G-d turn his countenance toward you and grant you peace."

The gesture of brotherhood and caring for each other was very, very nice, and I got to meet someone new in synagogue today.

People need people...and we need G-d. 

Somehow it makes everything better. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Blessing Each Other

See The World Through The Eyes Of Others

It's not only important what we think, but also what and how others see things. 

One the things, the folks that work with me frequently hear from me is "Let me put myself in the other person's shoes for a moment, and give you feedback on that."

We are what we are and not as our customers are, and while we may strive for excellence in customer service, our customers may have completely different notions of what that means.

For example, I may think a 24-hour turnaround on something is pretty good given everything on our plate, but when I imagine myself in the customer's shoes for a moment, I may change that expectation to "We need to get this done by noon today (or sooner)!"

People are different, our experiences, our cultures, our context and the way we interpret things. 

So when it comes to work or family or even social issues, being compassionate often means seeing the world through someone else's eyes. 

There was an interesting article in the New York Times called "Imaging The Lives Of Others" by psychologist, Paul Bloom. 

While he notes the importance to "behold the universe through the eyes of another," he also says how difficult this really is. 

If you haven't done something, how can you really imagine what it was like, let alone know what it was like for someone else to experience it?

Without the access to the particular significant life experience, the duration, the controls (so you can't just say stop like in an experiment), perhaps a person can never fully know what it's like. 

For example, if you haven't been through a devastating war, can you truly know what it's like to be in a foxhole and have the bullets whooshing by your head and the tanks rumbling over it?

Yes, we can imagine, but that is probably a far cry!

Yet, to really empathize with others, do right by them, and to make good leadership decisions, we most certainly need to at least try to see and experience the world the way others do. 

Thinking about the over 805 million hungry people in the world today, it is much more impactful to imagine myself hungry and starving, then just to say the mere fact that these poor people exist.

We can probably never know someone's else pain and suffering the way they do, but through our own experiences, extrapolation from them, and our imagination, we can at least try to elevate ourselves for a purely self-centric universe of one that is of billions (under one G-d), and who need our understanding, compassion, support, and help. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

See The World Through The Eyes Of Others

Freak Accidents, Illnesses, And Events

Dave Goldberg, the CEO of Survey Monkey (and the husband of Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook), died suddenly in a freakish accident falling off a treadmill and hitting his head. 

Poof...dead at age 47!

Unfortunately, we hear all the time about these type of tragic occurrences to people.

And of course tragedy knows no bounds--so while sh*t happens everyday to people from all walks of life, we tend to pay more attention when it's someone we know and love or when it's splashed wildly in the news about fabulously successful people we admire and follow. 

- Entertainer, Michael Jackson (50) dead from drug intoxication after suffering cardiac arrest.

- Actor, Robin Williams (63) dead by hanging suicide. 

- Singer, John Lennon (40) shot in the back by someone he had autographed an album for.

- Martial Artist, Bruce Lee (33) died on a movie set from a cerebral edema.

- Model, Marilyn Monroe (33) dead by drug overdose.

- President, John F. Kennedy (46) dead by assassination.

Whether by a plane crash or car accident, drowning or fire, poison or electrocution, a criminal or animal attack, terrorism, war, or natural disaster, a heart attack, stroke, or cancer, through suicide, punishment, or mercy killing...regardless of the probabilities and statistics, many people never make it all the way to "a ripe old age." 

We feel bad, shake our heads, say a few words of sympathy perhaps, when we hear of these lives cut short.

But like the TV shows, Six Feet Under (HBO) or 1000 Ways To Die (Spike)--there are a near endless number of horrible ways to go--and they can take you at literally any time.

While we can't stop living and just sit around worrying all the time about all the bad things that can happen, we do need to remember that anything can happen at any time (and these things are not so freakish after all)--no one is beyond the Angel of Death, no one should be arrogant, and we should make the most of every single moment that G-d lovingly grants to us.  ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Military Health)

Freak Accidents, Illnesses, And Events

Big Kiss Followed By Hard Slap

So I share this story not out of anger, but to tell of something important that happened to me.

It was when I was very sick last year from surgical complications...

And someone did one of the nicest things for me...and also one of the most hurtful.

This was at the point of hospitalization #3, I think (there was more after), and the doctors were shaking their heads--uh, not a good sign. 

Frankly, I didn't know anymore whether I was going to make it. 

At that time, someone close reached out to me and my wife and said they were going to hold a prayer vigil for me in their home one evening to try and help. 

They did and even sent me photographs of the wonderful people taking the time to ask G-d to save me...I was deeply moved and grateful. 

But subsequently on a phone call with the person who set this up, they said to me seemingly with resentment at having to have done it and undoing all the good they had done...

"You know you really need to get some zechusim of your own!"

Zuchusim means qualities or deeds that merit some reward or good.

In other words, I was getting judged and scolded and was being told that I was in pain, suffering, and sick because basically I MUST be an aweful person who deserves it. 

And if not for her organizing the prayer group and those others with zuchusim that attended, I on my own probably did not even deserve to live. 

Gee, thanks for the slap, slap, and slap.

While I am sure her words were intended to help me by exhorting ultimate life betterment, at the time and even now, the roughness and shrill of them hurt--it's nothing less than a matter of soul!

While I am no saint--and I think few of us can claim that title no matter how hard we may put ourselves on that lofty pedestal--I know that in my own way--maybe not the most traditional way that other religious people can fully relate to--I try my best to serve G-d, be a decent human being, and a good influence...while not perfect by any sense of the word. 

Laying sick and vulnerable, I needed to be told that I was okay and everything would be okay with G-d's blessing--that whatever the suffering and whatever the reason, my life has good in it and meaning to it--even while we can all better ourselves. 

But while I felt the kiss from this person when they organized the beautiful prayer group for me, I soon felt the sting of the slap from the strict harsh "religious" judgement from someone that didn't even really know my days in and outs. 

While I know I can do better--and I am committed to continue to try to learn and grow as a person--and serve G-d and help others--but for crying out loud have some compassion, go easy on the severity of the judgement and exhortations, and maybe give some benefit of the doubt. 

Words have meaning even though deeds surpass words, and we should be careful with both. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos posting of Batmancomic.infogenerator)

Big Kiss Followed By Hard Slap

Growing Shoes For Growing Feet

Great innovation from The Shoe That Grows.

Innocent children around the world living in poverty are frequently forced to walk barefoot, without shoes, risking dangerous injury from hard and sharp objects as well as disease from contaminated soil. 

Now there are expandable shoes that can be adjusted in the front toe piece and side with snaps, as well as with a back heel strap.

The shoes are made to expand five sizes and last 5 years with high quality rubber soles and leather uppers.

A donation of one pair for a needy child is just $10.

No child--or adult--should ever have to go without the basics like shoes and this can help millions get to a higher standard of living, which everyone deserves. ;-)

(Thank you to Michelle Blumenthal for sharing this with me.)

Growing Shoes For Growing Feet

How You Treat Animals

This little bird is singing pretty with his Coronoa.

But this isn't always how we treat animals. 

Some absolutely revere their animals as integral parts of their family or faith--as pets, they may be loved and cared in nice homes, and as source for milk, dung, and tilling, they may even considered sacred as in Hindu India, or for sacrifices on the Temple alter in Judaism. 

I've seen dogs picked up after and wheeled around in baby strollers, while in the Movies like "Meet The Fockers," Jinx the cat is exalted for doing her deed in the toilet, the same one used by the family.

One colleague told me how she had to run after her dog cleaning up all over her house, when it was sick and had a bleed out of its butt--yeah, ick!

And I remember learning about how in Nazi Germany, dogs would walk on the sidewalk, while Jews were forced into the gutters. 

On the other side of the animal coin...

We have animals sickeningly and inhumanly confined and caged in tiny spaces; starved or fattened; pepped up on antibiotics, and clubbed, electrocuted, given lethal injections, shot and cut up.

Animals are used for food, fur, and even so-called fun from cock fighting to bull runs.

Further, animals are used for research in everything from new medications to abusive studies in mind control and even punishment.

Animals have also been used for horrific torture of POWs where masks were attached to victims faces and a fire would heat the other side and force the rodent locked inside to burrow into the faces of their victims.

Similarly, in Nazi Germany, gruesome studies were conducted on humans by sewing live cats into the stomach of victims.

In more positive ways, animals have been used to locate everything from disease to the implements of war--from dogs being used in identifying human diseases like cancer and tuberculosis to giant rats used to locate land mines. 

Also, animal products are used in many life-saving medications. 

I found the remorse of an animal experimenter today in the New York Times to be refreshing, and those who choose to become vegan or disavow the use of fur and other animal products to be noble, as long as they accept that others may feel different. 

When the experimenter in his guilt thinks about the tables being turned, he imagines aliens coming to Earth and abducting and conducting experiments on us humans...oh, he seems to go, now I know how it must feel. 

Guess he didn't think to walk in that chicken's shoes before...

While to carnivorous animals, we are just another piece of beef in the food chain, other domesticated animals can be "man's best friend."

Killing an animal for survival is one thing, and where people draw that line can vary quite some--for example, how badly does Kim Kardashian need another fur to keep her warm?

But pure abusive and sick treatment of animals for amusement, profiteering, or psychotic ends is wrong, period. 

Animals are not people, but they are G-d creatures and sentient, and they should not be harmed or pained just because some of us like to act like animals too. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

How You Treat Animals

Who Will Help?

This is an awesome video that has gone viral.

A social experiment with hidden camera filming of a homeless child freezing on the streets of Manhattan...

See the people just walking on by--completely ignoring or plain unaffected by the suffering taking place literally right next to them. 

Where is the compassion of the people?

Many are just rushing by, chatting away, and/or carrying fancy filled bags from nearby shopping excursions.

The bystanders walk past and practically over this boy's shivering body lying in ragged shirt, without a coat, and lying half inside a big black garbage bag on the street. 

I imagined G-d looking down on this extreme callousness of his creations ignoring the suffering of this boy and being quite upset. 

Perhaps, there are unfortunately so many people now homeless , hungry, and begging in the streets that our minds and hearts have simply learned to "tune it out."

The ending is really amazing...when the one person who comes over to care for the poor boy is a black homeless man--who ends up taking off his own coat and gives it to the child. 

May G-d open our eyes to the pain of our brethren and grant us compassionate hearts to sincerely care one for each other. ;-)

Who Will Help?

Homeless in DC

The plight of the homeless in DC, the nation's capital, continues unabetted. 

People homeless and hungry stumble down the steets with their carts of worldy possessions or sit on the corners begging for someone to help them. 

As these destitute and desperate souls look for some shelter, warmth, a place to rest, some clean clothes, medical care, or simply something to eat, they pass almost like ghosts throughtout the city. 

Most people running (late) to the office, seem to barely extend a glance as they sidestep and shuffle past these people, who I remember one unsavory colleague calling them, "human waste."

But these are G-d creatures, down on their luck, and they could be any one of us!

Does the city and the people, the powerful of the nation, have the heart to help those in need? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Homeless in DC

Understanding Disability

So true story...

There is a wonderful lady in the workplace...one of the nicest people. 

Unfortuantely, she has a disability and it is not easy...at times, she expresses to me the pain and the challenges, but always she maintains the best attitude and is an inspiration to everyone here. 

Not to compare, because thank G-d, I have been so blessed, but with the hip replacement and various complications, I have come to better understand physical pain and difficult mobility. 

Sometimes, as people do, we ask, "Why?"--and often we just come to the refrain that "G-d must have his reasons"--to teach us and to grow us in some way. 

Well, in speaking with this lovely women, she must have heard me really listening and understanding or seen my empathy with her, because at one point, she starts nodding and goes almost with surprise, "You really do understand."

Then she adds something about it being so odd for a manager to understand these things. 

I was so humbled by what she said, but more important. I felt a light bulb go on over my head. 

Why does G-d give us the challenges we face in life (physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, etc.)?

Because it helps us to truly understand and emphasize with other human beings...to be compassionate, caring, and giving (not self absorbed, narcissist, and me-me-me!)

In a sense, only by knowing the pain and suffering of others (or some elements of it--"Been there," "Experienced it," "I Know where you're coming from!"), can we substantially make that ultimate human and spiritual connection.

No, I am not saying we all have to be in horrible pain and misfortune--G-d forbid--just that the reasons for pain and suffering in life is not completely a mystery. 

My father used to say, "If we didn't have suffering, we wouldn't know or appreciate how good we have it the rest of the time." 

But it's also that we won't know or understand the challenges our neighbors, friends, and colleagues have--and adequately care for and about them.

G-d in his infinite wisdom has his ways to teach us--it should be with ultimate mercy, in good health and peace, and not pain and suffering--but when we oursleves are challenged, doesn't it open our eyes to see others and the world in a whole new and "better" way? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Understanding Disability

Going For A Healing

So my wife tricked me today...

First day in Santa Fe and there was so much to see. 

By afternoon, my wife said she was tired and wanted to stop in an "Oxygen Bar."

Good Jewish boy from the Bronx, what do I know from Oxygen Bars?

So they had these cool health tonics, soothing music, beautiful artwork, oxygen therapy, and...

In the back, they did healing treatments!

So my wife tells me I should do this.

Ah, why do I want to spend money on healing treatments?

She jumps up, goes over and talks to the owner, and comes back and says "Okay honey, she is going to give you a sampler."

A what!

I hem and haw, but my wife doesn't take no for an answer, so I reluctantly go to try it.

Well...

I really enjoyed it.  

From spa-type treatments to spiritual healing.

I had a smorgasbord of some light massage/reflexology, oils, sprays, rocks, branches and leaves, warm wet cloths, figure eights with a dream catcher, angels and animal spirits, and even prayers said. 

The very nice Jewish owner, Kadima Levanah, spoke about releasing your energy, having compassion on yourself, doing your best, starting anew, and having a full healing. 

By the end, I was smiling and feeling a lot more stress free--even though my wife tricked me like usual! ;-)

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

Going For A Healing

At Peace Amidst Suffering

There is something very smart about Buddhist-thinking. 

(And frankly IMHO, can conceptually mesh very well with Judaism.)

Buddhists nobly accept that life is very much about suffering. 

That greed and evil cause human suffering.

And that we need to reflect, repent, learn, and grow from this as human being with spiritual souls inside us. 

Moreover, that we should have compassion on others, understanding their suffering, even as we experience or remember our own (may G-d have mercy).

This photo taken by at the DC Folk Festival captures well the suffering all around us.

At times, it seems that we are under attack from all sides. 

But like the Buddha at the center, we must submit ourselves to our maker, endure and work to be at peace with ourselves and our surroundings--and to help others achieve the same. 

Yes, maybe a lot easier said then done especially when we are in the throes of it all, but what a noble life we can live and go to the other side with, if we can but learn this. ;-) 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

At Peace Amidst Suffering

Walk Like A Chicken

So I've been reading about the use of virtual reality for the military veterans as a way to help the healing process of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

But this was something different yesterday in downtown D.C....

Using virtual reality to "See Life Through A Chicken's Eyes"--complements of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). 

So I go up and ask the attendant what this is all about. 

She says, "You can take the virtual reality tour and walk around a field as a chicken!"

She goes on, "Only we're having some trouble with the technology, so can you come back in 20 minutes?"

Uh, okay, but 2 things:

1. Yes, I do believe in ethical treatment for everyone (including animals), and no one should suffer where we can (and should) prevent it. 

2. I did just have some chicken (only Kosher, of course!) to eat just last week (and it was pretty good), and while I am curious to see the virutal reality, I can't make it back here in 20 minutes, but thank you!

Lesson: Treat all life compassionately, but I don't have to walk around as a chicken to see that! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Walk Like A Chicken

Love, Strength

This has been an enormously tough year with the loss of my mom, my dad going into assisted living, and my hip replacement and complications.

I have found myself torn from my normal routine--my structure, my discipline--and thrown instead into a world of unknowns, hopes, and definitely prayers. 

Throughout, my family and close friends have stood by me--as I gave the eulogy for mom, as I moved my father out of his loving home, and as I growled in pain with the osteoarthritis and then joint replacement.  

When my daughter took my hand telling me all be well, when my youngest drove me to the doctors and PT, and when my wife fought for my care--I feel eternally grateful to have these people in my life.

With all the technology in the world, there is nothing like a human being to reach out and grab a hold off. 

One of my colleagues asked me what I have learned from all of this, and I'd say three things:

- Take time to reflect on the direction of your life and work to make the tough changes while you're able.
- Empathize with the plight of others, be merciful and compassionate, and help where you see the slightest opportunity. 
- Be sincerely grateful for everything you have and remember who is the Master of all. ;-)

(Source Photo: Michelle Blumenthal)

Love, Strength

You Can Be Nice and Powerful

According to the Wall Street Journal, workers "value kindness in their boss" and compassion--this is natural, as we are all human with tests, frailties, and yes, everyone even makes some mistakes (and hopefully they learn from it). 

So while there may seem to be a contradiction between being nice and being an effective leader, there really is not. 

For example, we can have empathy for people, while still holding them accountable to do a good job through programs like flexible schedules, telework, and other workplace accommodations.

Power in the organization can be wielded by a boss in so many ways, and they don't even have to eat their spinach to do it. 

From what assignments you get, whether you have to work odd hours, to whether you get a good evaluation or even that promotion, for that matter. 

Many may be too quick to put on the punching gloves, however. 

Sometimes, the boss will laud publicly over some employees, while degrading or shunning others...that sends a message doesn't it.

Worse is boss that yells, tells someone their ideas are stupid, or glares at someone like they are a moron...that takes someone straight to employment hell. 

The email chain is the classic message!

So while power can be wielded, it can also be shielded by appreciating each person for what they can do and their contribution, if sincere and merited.

While employees value a nice boss, this doesn't mean that we don't want to be challenged, we do--challenge adds some meaning to our jobs and our day--that's why 75% would rather work for a high-achieving, but demanding boss than a nice, but ineffective one. 

But combine nice and high-achieving into a boss, and I think we will all want to work for such a leader and follow them wherever they go! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

You Can Be Nice and Powerful

Holocaust Remembrance Day 2014

I was so humbled to hear the story of survival of Dr. Alfred Munzer today at the Holocaust Memorial Observance.

Dr. Munzer was hidden for the first four years of his life from the Nazis by a righteous Indonesian family in the Netherlands.

Earlier this month, Dr. Munzer visited Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation, to share his awesome story of humanity and compassion in the face of Nazi brutality and genocide. 

Dr. Munzer told his story today through photos of his Jewish and Indonesian family's life during the Holocaust, and related how his father and sisters were murdered by the Nazis; from his immediate family, only he and his mother survived to come to America in 1958.

I was so inspired by Dr. Munzer's story and encourage everyone to hear it at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum where Dr. Munzer volunteers. 

When people help other people, even at their own peril, that represents true globalization of the human race and the unity of all mankind. ;-)

Holocaust Remembrance Day 2014

The Great Afterlife

I finished reading the bestseller Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander M.D. -- and it was awesome. 

Alexander, trained in rational, scientific thinking and a practicing neurosurgeon was not a believer of consciousness (i.e. the soul) outside of the functioning of the brain itself until he ended up for 7 days in a coma himself.

His near death experience (NDE) was not only unbelievably vivid, but also, as he reiterates again and again, absolutely real ("more real that the house I sat in, more real than the logs burning in the fireplace")!

The key beautiful messages that I came away with:

What is the relationship between G-d and man? 
- G-d loves us, unconditionally. 

- Our physical bodies and brains, with limited sensory organs, are filters that give us a kind of "amnesia" of the Divine. 

- Our personality, soul, spirit "continue to exist beyond the body"and is a "direct extension of the Divine."

What is the meaning of life (i.e. why are we here)?
- The universe is purposeful, and it "bring[s] beings into existence and allows them to participate in the glory of G-d."

- Evil exists in this world only to provide us the free will for growth to the Divine and ultimately for our ascendance in other dimensions. 

- There is "no need to fear the earthly world" and thus no need to be concerned or build ourselves up with "fame or wealth or conquest."

- To return to the spiritual realm, "we must once again become like that realm" by showing love and compassion for others. 

- "Other family" (i.e. angels) are "watching and looking out for us" and helping us navigate our time here on earth."

- "Our struggles and suffering" are eclipsed by the larger eternal beings we are.

What is the future world like?
- Injustice in this world is eclipsed by the "beauty and brilliance of what awaits us."

- The visible, physical world is but a "speck of dust" compared to the invisible, spiritual world that is "awash" in goodness, hope, and abundance.

- Time doesn't function the same in the spiritual world, "a moment can seem like a lifetime, and one or several lifetimes can seem like a moment."

- Our understanding of space is false; the "vastly grandeur universe isn't far away physically, but simply exists on a different frequency."

- We are not only part of the fabric of the universe, but also are "completely unified"with it, and are "intricately and irremovably connected" with "no real differentiation between 'me' and the world."

Having recently lost my mother, I found great solace in this book and its timeless message of purpose in our worldly lives, hope through a brighter future in the next world, and the immortality of our souls with our loving Father In Heaven. 

Thank you Dr. Alexander for sharing your experiences and these eternal truths with us. ;-)

(Source Photo: here and my first GIF)

The Great Afterlife

Outrage At Bogus Judge Baugh

Injustice, Injustice does Montana Judge Todd Baugh pursue. 

G-d, hope you are listening...

BBC reported about this bogus Judge Baugh who called a 14-year old girl that was raped by her 49-year old teacher, "as much in control of the situation" as the man who assaulted her. 

The poor girl later committed suicide, which her mother probably rightfully attributed to the distress from the rape and aftermath. 

And what does the judge do to mete out justice? He sentences the rapist to 15-years in prison AND suspends the sentence for all but 31 days with 1 day time already served. 

The victim was raped and is dead and the rapist gets not 30-years, but 30 days!

While the judge who is under pressure to resign has all of a sudden expressed his deep remorse, it is almost unbelievable that this is someone charged with seeing that justice is served. 

Shock, disbelief, outrage...what can you say about such a justice. 

While there is certainly a time and place for empathy, compassion, and mercy--would anyone in their right mind, see this as one of those cases? 

For all who believe that this world is not the end, but just the journey, I'd venture to guess that the 14-year old girl is not done either with her rapist or the judge who mocked her suffering and death. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Outrage At Bogus Judge Baugh

Living Longer, But With Worse Quality Of Life

Watching my parents age over the years has been hard--and very painful. 

They are good people--they've worked hard all their lives (nothing was just given to them), they are devoted to serving G-d, and they are loved by their family, friends, and community. 

They have lived a good life and we are grateful for every day.

Yet as they are getting older, the body like anything physical, starts to get sick and break down. 

Both my parents have serious illnesses, and in the last two years my mom has become almost totally disabled and is moving from a rehab center to a nursing home this coming week. 

I read this week in the Wall Street Journal, what I've been watching with my own eyes...we are living "longer, but not healthier lives."

Over the last 2 decades, life expectancy has risen 3 years to 78 years, but unfortunately only 68 of those, on average, are in good health--meaning that people suffer for about ten years with various disabilities.

What is amazing is that people are being pressed to retire later in life with an increase in age to receive full social security benefits to 67 by 2022--giving the average person a healthy retirement to enjoy of just 1 year!

With the average working household having less the $3,000 in retirement savings, things are not looking too good for Americans to retire young and enjoy their healthy years either. 

Additionally, despite longer living, in the last 2 decades, the U.S. fell from 20th place to 27th place in 34 member nations of the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) for life expectancy and quality of life.

The leading causes of death remain heart disease, cancer, and stroke.  And disabilities are being driven by back, muscle, nerve, and joint disorders. 

Seeing with my own parents, the deteriorating quality of life and true suffering as they age, I am left questioning the real wisdom of keeping people alive, when the quality of life has so deteriorated as to leave them in pain and misery. 

While no one wants to lose their loved ones--the emptiness is devastating--at the same time, watching them endlessly and needlessly suffer is worse. 

I see my mom clutching her wheelchair, always in various states of discomfort and pain, and less and less able to help herself, in almost any way--it is tragic. 

So I ask myself is it also unnecessary and wrong? 

I call it forcing people alive. We keep people going not only with extraordinary measures, but also with day-to-day medicines and care that keeps their hearts pumping, their lungs breathing, and their brains somewhat aware. 

The patients are alive, but are in a sense dying a long and painful death, rather than a quick and painless one. 

I love my parents and mom who is suffering so much now, and I don't want to lose her, by does really caring for her mean, at some point, letting her go.

I tell my dad, "I just want mom to have peace"--no more suffering!

For the average person, 68 years of health is too short, but 10 years of disability and suffering may be too long. 

We use advances in technology and medical breakthroughs to keep people alive. But what is the cost in pain and disability, and even in cold hard dollar terms for a nation being gobbled up by deficits, longevity, and miserable disease and disability? 

People are living longer but at a significant painful price! 

Is this real compassion and empathy or a senseless fight with the Angel of Death? 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to wwwupertal)

Living Longer, But With Worse Quality Of Life

Let The Handicapped In

We can build "the bomb" and sequence human DNA, but we still are challenged in caring for and accommodating the handicapped. 

Some of the major legislative protections to the disabled are afforded under:

-  The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 that prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability in federal programs, and 

-  The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990, which covers things like employment, public programs (state and local) and transportation, public accommodations (housing) and commercial facilities, and telecommunications. 

Despite these protections, our world still remains a harsh place for many disabled people--and we see it with older facilities that have not been retrofitted, broken elevators in the Metro, managers being obstinate to providing reasonable accommodations, and people not getting up from seats designated or not, for the disabled.  

In yet more extreme cases, some people can show their worst and be just plain cruel toward the disabled:

On the Metro recently, there was a near fight between two young male passengers squeezing onto the train; when one tried walking away, deeper into the belly of the car, the other guy pursues him, and literally jumped over a guy in a wheelchair--hitting him with his shoe in the back of his head.  

On yet another occasion, also on the Metro, there was a wheelchair with it's back to the train doors (I think he couldn't turn around because of the crowding). A couple gets on the train, apparently coming from the airport, and puts their luggage behind the wheelchair.  At the next station or so, when the wheelchair tries to back out to get off the train, the couple refuses to move their luggage out of the way. The guy in wheelchair really had guts and pushed his chair over and past the luggage, so he could get off.

To me these stories demonstrate just an inkling of not only the harsh reality that handicapped face out there, but also the shameful way people still act to them. 

Today, the Wall Street Journal (17 August 2012) had an editorial by Mr. Fay Vincent, a former CEO for Columbia Pictures and commissioner of Major League Baseball, and he wrote an impassioned piece about how difficult it has been for him to get around in a wheelchair in everywhere from bathrooms at prominent men's clubs, through narrow front office doors at a medical facility for x-rays, and even having to navigate "tight 90-degree turns" at an orthopedic hospital! 

Vincent writes: "Even well-intentioned legislation cannot specify what is needed to accomodate those of us who are made to feel subhuman by unintentional failures to provide suitable facilities."

Mr. Vincent seems almost too kind and understanding here as he goes on to describe a hotel shower/bath that was too difficult for him to "climb into or out" and when he asked the CEO of a major hotel chain why there wasn't better accommodation for the disabled, the reply was "there are not many people like you visiting the top-level hotels, so it does not make business sense to cater to the handicapped."

Wow--read that last piece again about not making business sense catering to the handicapped--is this really only about dollar and cents or can decency and compassion play any role here? 

Yes, as Mr. Vincent points out, "modern medicine is keeping us all older for longer," and many more people will require these basic and humane accommodations for getting around, bathing, going to the toilet, and more.  Let's make this a national, no a global priority--every one deserves these basic dignities. 

I am not clear on the loopholes, exemptions, deficiencies in guidelines, or insufficiencies of enforcement that are enabling people to still be so callous, cruel, and just plain stupid, but it time to change not only what's written on paper, but to change people's hearts too. 

(Source Photo: here)

Let The Handicapped In