Choosing Good Over Vice

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel, called "Choosing Good Over Vice."

But yet, if everyone would just act out on each other based on their unbridled wants and desires, oy vey what a truly terrible world that would be...From uncontrolled desires for food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, honor, money, power, sex, and more–it seems like everyone has their little secret fetish. Whether it's coming from their head, their heart, or down below...the key questions is how much can they control themselves.

However, inside us, our soul, like the Ten Commandments in the Holy Ark, guide us so that we aren't just animals chasing game or tail, but are human beings trying to become angels.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Choosing Good Over Vice

Wine Makes Me Smile

What a great labeling of this bottle of wine. 

Just a big simple smiley face on it!

After I saw this bottle in the store, I just had to take a picture and also look this up on the internet. 

It's part of the "SMILE" wine campaign from Lindeman's Wines.

Apparently each limited edition bottle reminds you of something that we have to smile about: "family get-togethers," "discovering new places," and "randoms acts of kindness."

Wow, I love this idea.  

Wine makes you smile, but so do these wonderful things in life. 

And it's not just showing/associating the product with something positive (like beer and soda commercials always do), but it's making the product itself smile at you!

I think this is a really smart marketing campaign.

Also, the cute smiley face on the bottle would make this the life of the party. 

Great job Lindemans--I'm smiling. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Wine Makes Me Smile

How Angry Do You Get?

Anger is one of those emotions (like jealousy) that can clearly get the best of people. 

Hence, the term anger management!

The Talmud teaches that there are 3 ways to know a person's real character: 

- Koso, Kiso, and Ka'aso.

From Aramaic to English it translates as:

- Cup, Purse, and Anger. 

In other words...

Cup--When a person "drinks," this is how they handle their alcohol and how they act when physically (or perhaps emotionally) inebriated or as we say, "When the wine goes in, the secrets come out!" Are they jumping on the bar, ripping it all off and saying and doing the inappropriate and profane or are they able to recognize their point of weakness and ask someone for a ride safely home. 

Purse--This is how a person handles money (and power). Materialism of people speaks volumes. Are they cheap, misery, and narcissistic or compassionate, caring, and giving to others.  

Anger--When a person is angry, this is often when their "true colors" show.  Do they get mean, bullying, abusive, and violent--do they go for the throat and the kill or are they situationally aware, measured, and do they listen, understand, and are they able to cope well when "under the gun."  

Focusing on the anger piece...

It's easy to get angry, and it's also easy to look for a scapegoat and let it out on people that really have nothing to do with why you're really angry. 

Maybe people can't always address their anger with the true source, maybe they don't even recognize their feelings fully, or have no idea how to safely release and reset.

In any case, anger is a dangerous emotion if not dealt with. 

Many mistakes are made that cannot be undone when people lose their cool (or sh*t, as now seems more commonly said). 

Thoughts on this...

Take a breath, slow down. 

Evaluate what's really going on. 

Think about whether it's truly the end of the world or not. 

Assess the options for coping with it. 

Look for ways to deescalate and resolve. 

If necessary, seek help from others.

Finally, where possible be compassionate and forgiving. 

And where not, cope, cope, cope--and survive another day!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

How Angry Do You Get?

The Excuses We Make

So on the way to the airport, I am talking with the Uber driver. 

"There is such a discrepancy between the rich and the poor here," I say.

"Yeah," she says, "When I drive and stop at the lights, there are many poor people that come up to the car looking for a handout."

She continues, "I usually have a few dollars here" pointing to the little cubby hole under the parking break. 

"But my friends make fun of me saying, they [the panhandlers] are just going to go out and buy a beer!"

Excuse #1 not to give poor people--they'll misuse our charity and buy alcohol, drugs, or prostitutes. 

The driver says, "But so what...if I were in their shoes, I'd buy a beer too."

I'm thinking, hey this is nice...she's fighting the bad inclination and her friends pressure and still wants to give--this is great!

Sure enough, we stop at a red light, and a really poor man starts walking up to the window to ask for help.

This person is dressed in dirty battered rags of an undershirt, and has sores on their arms and body.

The driver says, "Yeah, if I gave him, he'd probably just switch his shirt inside out later [as if the other side would be magically less dirty and ripped] and go home to his Rolls Royce!"

Wow, when excuse #1 doesn't hold...

Excuse #2--the poor people are just faking it...really they aren't poor, but rather they are fantastically rich and trying to pocket some more money for free.

It's like the evil inclination sitting on one shoulder telling us "don't give,"  even as the good inclination is sitting over our other shoulder beseeching us to have mercy and "give, give, give."

In this case, the evil inclination won out. 

I reached for my wallet and wanted to open my window, but honestly this person looked scary--dirty and maybe sick--I was afraid of this person. 

I hope G-d forgives me, because I feel it wasn't my evil inclination making excuses, but this time it was genuine for me. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Excuses We Make

Wild Advertising Art

I took this photo of an ad for Milagro Tequila on the side of a tour bus in Washington, D.C.

Milagro ("Miracle") is a company that prides itself on it's collaboration with artists to create cool murals to advertise it's liquor. 

Tequila is made from the sweet, fruity, blue agave plant from northwest Mexico, hence the writing over the mural saying, "Agave Expressionism."

It must be challenging to look out the windows of this tour bus covered in this very blue mural and messaging. 

Why is this ad effective? 

First, it is intense and exciting--the vibrant colors, the big mask with the bulging eyes, and the skulls with the green leafy stuff growing out of the head. 

Second, it really is a work of art, and you wouldn't expect to see this on a regular tour bus shlepping around town. 

Third, the cultural contrast between the Mexican artistic expressionism and the rest of the comparatively humdrum city life is standout. 

Fourth, after a long hard day at work, people are tired, thirsty, and ready for some fun--so this is a welcome message.

Overall, this has the creativity and connection with the people to hit the mark--pretty neat. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Wild Advertising Art

The Kardashian Ball-Busters

So despite the immense beauty, fame, and fortune associated with the Kardashian women...if you are a man, you may want to stay far far far away. 

It seems like in the end, nothing good ever turns out for the Kardashian men--who BTW are often ballplayers and even Olympic athletes. 

Kris's husbands:

- Robert Kardashian (1st husband) - divorced in 1991 after Kris's affair and lavish lifestyle spending, remained close friends, and died of esophageal cancer in 2003.

- Bruce Jenner (2nd husband) - divorced in 2014, and revealed "excruciatingly painful" transgender crisis and transformation to Caitlyn Jenner. 

Kim's husbands: 

- Damon Thomas (1st husband) - Messy divorce in 2004.

- Chris Humphries (2nd husband) - Filed for divorce after 1 year, 7 months and divorce completed in 2013.

- Kanye West (3rd husband) - Marriage issues and divorce rumors abound from frustration over Kim's weight gain to the two sleeping apart. 

Chloe's husband:

Lamar Odom (1st husband) - Signed divorce paper in 2015, and now in coma after drug overdose in brothel. 

Kourtney's partner: 

- Scott Disick (Ex partner) - Broke up in 2015 and continues struggling with drugs and alcohol addiction.

What about brother, Rob Kardashian?

- He too is struggling with a weight problem and depression, and is estranged from his family. 

Anyway, it all starts with Kris Jenner, the controlling family matriarch who has been said to be "testy, demanding, manipulative," and generally narcissistic.  

And how about the Kardashian daughters--who are they as people?--as they air their freewheeling "have it all" lifestyles on the show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians?

Even though they call it a reality show, maybe the real reality--like for most of humankind--is not so "all that" and glamorous after all? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Kardashian Ball-Busters

Wine Bottle Extraordinaire

I took this photo of one of the amazing wine bottles at an event last evening at Magen David Synagogue. 

Apparently, a very talented lady in there makes these special bottles. 

Unfortunately with the lighting, this picture does not near do them justice for how exquisite they looked. 

They were in different colors of lacing, with beautiful beads, hamsas, and other decorations, as well as pictures of our honored sages, and their names in hebrew over the photos. 

I asked facetiously one lady who was taking home a bottle whether she was going to drink it all that evening, and she pulled the bottle close to her and leaning in to me said, "This is going in my display case!"

And that truly is where these belong...they are amazing.

The wonderful lady that painstakingly makes these gave how many of them charitably so they could be auctioned for benefit of the synagogue. 

Aside from a wonderful soul, this person is very talented and should seriously start a business with these because they are awesome! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Wine Bottle Extraordinaire

Whiskey Pie

So I picked up a Powerball ticket this week...hard to resist with a jackpot of $360 million!

The store that sells the lottery tickets sells liquor.

I see these 3 bottles side-by-side.

And it's for whiskey.

The whiskey has cherry, pecan, or apple pie flavored liquor.

The ladies pictured on the bottles are sitting on the different pies. 

And this "Pie-oneering" whiskey is called Piehole!

70% proof, and makes for quite some table talk. 

Not surprisingly, they never has this at the kiddush in shule on Shabbat! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Whiskey Pie

Score One For Ocean Rescue

Not often that I get to see a real life ocean rescue.

Don't know why this kid almost drowned, but he almost did.

It was interesting to see the various rescue services come to help save him.

The lifeguards went out for him and got him back to shore; the paramedics administrated on scene medical help; and the police kept overall order. 

But I think what really struck me was how uninterested most of the beach goers seemed.

Maybe I am expecting too much, but people just seemed at best curious, but not really concerned.

Yet at Spring Break, I have a feeling the booze, drugs, and sex overshadowed this real life and death event for this young man. 

I know these kids work hard in college and probably need to blow off some steam, but the callousness was still striking.

(Source Photos: Andy Blumenthal)

Score One For Ocean Rescue

Addictions R Us

I was having an really interesting conversation with a friend--okay, and it got a little deep. 

He said something fascinating to me--which is that everyone is addicted to something. 

Think about it--some are addicted to the hard stuff...drugs, alcohol, smoking.

Others are addicted to sex, work, shopping, exercise, even religion. 

In modern times, there are new addictions to technology, gaming, and social media.

My friend is smart and we discussed or alluded to a number of reasons for the addictive nature of all people. 

1) Meaning - Many people have a tough time dealing with the seemingly meaningless, mortal nature of their lives. Without a strong purpose and meaning, we can sort of float through every day looking for some anchor, stability, or rhythm. Addictions, for better or worse, can provide that habit or repetition compulsion. While not very meaningful itself, these addictions help people forget--temporarily, during their high or while they are being kept busy--that they are perhaps lost amidst it all. 

2) Pain - Everyone has pain--emotional, physical, mental--these cause stress on people and their ability to deal or cope can be stretched thin, and they turn to some sort of addiction as a "crutch" to help them get through the day. It reminds me of a very crude song that I overheard years ago, called "F*ck the pain away" (excuse the language here, please). Anyway, simply replace the first word, with "work, shop, drink, and so on and poof, you have opiates (i.e. pain relief) for the masses. 

3) Fear - People are afraid--afraid of living, afraid of dying--and addictions take us away from having the time to stop, think, and have to deal with our fears. If every minute, I am running around doing a million things--then I don't have the time to shut it all down and out, and deal with what's really going on inside. In fact, some people credit the Holy Sabbath day, as being beneficial to us to just stopping all that daily stuff at least for one day a week!

We are all human, and there is no one who is immune to looking for meaning, avoiding pain, and dealing with their fears. 

The question is do we just throw ourselves into something to keep going or do we take more of a Buddhist approach, accept that life is suffering and try to raise ourselves above it through healthy balance, contemplative meditation, compassion and thinking about others, doing good deeds, and so on. 

Keeping busy is good too--but going through life in a drug or otherwise induced fugue is not--then we've lost ourselves, which is maybe the point for our crazy world where addictions abound and we are all too happy to dive right in. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Miles Cave)

Addictions R Us

Driving Away With It

This last week was another week for gross social injustice. 

As it has now been widely reported, a wealthy drunken teen stole 2 cases of beer and then plowed into a stranded motorist and 3 bystanders who were trying to help--and killed them all.

The teen was 3x over the alcohol limit!

What an irony: 3 people stop to help a stranger in need and they are killed by someone who cares nothing for human life.

And the flagrant injustice of it all is that the kid was let off on 5 years probation and will attend a $450,000 a year private school rather than going to prison. 

On the news this week, they interviewed the husband and father of 2 of the dead, killed by this teen. He is broken. 

The defense teen argued "Affluenza" -- like a disease, the kid should be let off the hook because...he is unbelievably wealthy and therefore was not given proper parental supervision--in effect, he is a victim of having too much--too many things, too much opportunity, but too little parenting as well. 

I guess I never realized that justice meant if you had too much you could murder 4 people and walk!

While others that have too little--education, jobs, money, 2-parent families, and so on--must take the rap and go away for their crimes.

Too much--you can buy your way free.

Too little--you get sent up the river without a paddle. 

Wouldn't you think it should be the other way around--if you have more, then more is expected of you.  While if you have less, your challenges are greater and so we take into account extenuating circumstances?

But no, money talks, and the guilty walks. 

It is a shame on our society--and what we inappropriately call a justice system.

Whether the money buys you a top-rated defense attorney, paying off some officials or jurors, or provide alternatives to the the same punishment and rehabilitation that others must face, there is no denying that money influences the outcome.

Sort of reminds me of the infamous O.J. trial--another travesty of justice. How many more? 

Funny, how art imitates life and life imitates art--in Season 2 of Homeland, the son of the V.P. drinks and drives and also kills someone and gets off with nothing but a slap on the wrist. 

You see it's not whether you're black or white or yellow or whatever, it's plain hard !!power!! and $$cash$$. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Driving Away With It

Rape Crisis Nation

I've been wanting to capture this in a photo for some time. 

I took this picture from a moving Metro train and one with incredibly dirty windows at that. 

It is the phone number for a 24-hour rape crisis hotline.

Underneath the phone number is a picture of a hand picking up a telephone to call. 

It is written as graffiti on the wall facing the train tracks. 

And around it are radio towers, telephone polls, what looks like transformers, and a barbed wire fence.

It is quite an ominous setting for the ad placement. 

To me, rape is one of the most horrendous and brutal crimes. 

Ironically, it physically and emotionally violates a person through the very means that most people make love and life. 

My first exposure to rape was in the opening scene to the movie Death Wish, where Charles Bronson's wife and daughter are brutalized--I saw this movie as a little boy and it left a huge imprint on me. 

Over the course of my life, I have known people who have been both raped and molested and it changed them forever. 

I found these rape statistics online, and even though rape is down 60% since 1993, 1 out of every 6 women in this country experiences a rape or attempted rape at some point.

Also, it means that 20 years ago, the percentage was about 26% or 1 out 4.

The Atlantic-2 years ago--reported similar numbers with 18.3% of women who were raped or where rape was attempted. 

Honestly, I think the numbers may even be higher, since so many cases go unreported, and according to the American Medical Association is one of the most unreported crimes. 

The numbers are outrageously high for a western, modern, civilized country or any nation!

What is even more shocking is that the U.S. is listed as the 6th highest country for reported rape. 

Perhaps a large part of this is because we report more frequently in this country, but also maybe because we are more free and affluent and thereby, people are able to partake of vices such as alcohol and drugs, which are associated with sexual violence. 

Rape is a horrific act and in medieval times, the crime of rape was often punished with castration or even death.

In Death Wish, Bronson became a semi-crazed vigilante and sought out his own form justice.

Today, in real life, we provide the victims a hotline number to call and the rapists--if they even get reported--and caught, prosecuted, convicted, and sentenced--may get some time or not, who really knows, but we should all care. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Rape Crisis Nation

Sorry Amanda Todd

Just watched this video with my daughter about Amanda Todd, the 15 year old girl from Canada who hung herself on Wednesday. 

She made some mistakes with some guys--looks like she was taken advantage of--and then she was ruthlessly bullied, tormented, tagged, shamed, followed, beaten, and encouraged to kill herself. 

After depression, anxiety, drugs, alcohol, cutting, and drinking bleach, she finally hung herself and is gone. 

To those horrible people that pursued this young women and essentially murdered her--you are vile and disgusting and G-d will one day bring you to final judgement. 

To the family of Amanda Todd, our heart, prayers, and sympathy goes out to you--your daughter and all decent people like her deserve better from society. 

If we can only learn from this tragedy, perhaps her death will not have been in vain. 

She wrote: "I have nobody. I need somebody. :(" 

Hopefully, she is now with the heavenly father--and has not just somebody, but the one that matters the most.

Sorry Amanda Todd