Lifeguard Needs A Lifeguard

So I thought this was a funny story the lifeguard told me.

The guards are required to renew their lifeguard certification every two years. 

When I asked if he swims, he said "not regularly" and then when I asked if he exercises, he said half-jokingly: "I sleep, eat, and drink!"

But then he told me about the lifeguard exam and a couple of people who should've never been taking the test. 

One lady gets waist deep into the pool, and the proctor tells the lady to swim to the other side of the pool and back. Instead of swimming, she starts crying hysterically that she doesn't know how to swim!

Another guy was swimming funny with his arms flailing and his butt out of the water. When the proctor asked him what was up with that and to show him what was hiding under his trunks, the guy showed him that he was wearing an inflatable plastic band under his pants. 

Fail, fail, fail--these are life endangering guards, NOT "lifeguards!"  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Lifeguard Needs A Lifeguard

Cold-Press Fruits and Veggies

We starting watching this movie with Joe Cross called, "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead."

This guy weighs a ton and goes on a 60-day all juicing diet.  

He stops all the food and just carries his juicer with him everywhere making fresh fruit and vegetable cold-press. 

While obviously a little extreme, I like the idea of reducing the food intake (especially everything gluten which is death itself), and replacing it with healthy juice. 

I tried one of the super green juices and it literally tasted like eating grass. 

Uh, that's not gonna realistically work for me. 

So I settled on Evolution's Organic Super Fruit Greens that has a combination of orange, mango, pineapple, cucumber, spinach, romaine, and kale. 

I actually like it and am sitting here sipping on one as I write this blog post. 

I went into the fridge and threw all the carbs in the freakin garbage--good riddance!

Gotta get and stay healthy!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cold-Press Fruits and Veggies

Andy The Swimmer

This was a cute cartoon that "Anastasia The Lifeguard" doodled of me swimming. 

She captured me doing my laps. 

Enjoying the sunshine.

Breathing in the fresh air. 

Appreciating the beautiful flowers.

Loving the pool and water. 

Thank you so much for this great picture!

(Source Cartoon: the Talented Anastasia)

Andy The Swimmer

@Bethesda Trolley Trail

You can walk for miles...

It's quiet and green in a suburban setting.

Who's that dummy?

Lovers come out here too.

Some graffiti tells you there is still the big city of Washington, D.C. nearby.

A little surveillance---the "I's" have it!

ADT security plus some colorful wind adornments in front of the houses. 

Park is good, but only until sunset. 

Watch out, "old people" crossing (saw a deer too).

The whole trail runs between Rockville and Bethesda--see the French International School, The National Institute of Health, Suburban Hospital, houses, shopping, parks, and more. 

Try not to get too lost in the fun of it all.  ;-)

(Source Photos: Andy Blumenthal)

@Bethesda Trolley Trail

Jane Confronts Tarzan

Thought this was pretty funny.

I went to the gym to do some lifting. 

And low and behold, someone had left this funny message:

"Dear Tarzan,
Please put the heavy weights back so I can move the bar up and down."
Thank you,
Jane"

How creative a message was that!

Tarzan and Jane, nice sense of humor. 

Effectively asks for what she wants--put away the weights when you're done!

Is polite about it--please and thank you.

Must've worked because the bar was unencumbered and moving up and down fine, and there was no leftover heavy weights to be found. 

A little thoughtful note can go a long way. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Jane Confronts Tarzan

Doing It On One Leg

Always finding people with new and creative ways to work out (and torture their bodies).

The gentleman does the stairs on one leg...

Down not so bad (but keeping your balance probably a little challenging). 

Up, one after the other, pretty impressive. 

And he did this routine again and again.

The fitness craze is taking shape...hopefully eclipsing the sedentary and gross carb diets people have adopted over the years.

Carbs, as good as they may taste (although I think you don't even really taste them as people shovel it in), should be banned or at least greatly limited as an addictive harmful substance.

And sitting all day at a desk, not what otherwise healthy people were meant to do, also big no-no.

We can't let ourselves become a society of shlubs getting fat, tired, and unhealthy--it's part of a trend of depressive and destructive personal and social behavior. 

I really think we need a Western fitness revolution--not body-worshiping--just a good healthy balanced lifestyle where we become planetary survivors again and not a bunch of virtual couch potatoes that want to make you puke. ;-)

(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)

Doing It On One Leg

Running With Parachute

So I took this photo at the athletic field. 

This guy was running.

But he had a parachute tied to his buttocks. 

A little extra resistance to get into shape. 

While a parachute can be helpful (in fact lifesaving) if you're jumping from an airplane.

It can also be a hinderance if your trying to run across a big open field as fast as you can. 

Parachute + Air = Resistance. 

I asked the guy how much this running parachute cost and he told me it was about $30.

Not bad to vary up the workout a little and pull not just yourself, but an entire airstream with you. 

It's interesting how people wanting to excel look for ways to improve their game by challenging themselves.

As if running lightening fast in the hot sun wasn't hard enough.

Let's add a parachute or maybe a bag of heavy rocks to the mix.

The problem is that while the training can be good now, we may pay a physical price for it later in life. 

He/she-man can take a lot of physical abuse, but maybe there is also long term wear and tear on the body. 

I think perhaps, the best outcome from challenging your body and soul is the inner strength you get from determination and exercise of your will to succeed. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Running With Parachute

613 Calories

So today I tested out a hypothesis about seeing 613. 

I tried to do it intentionally. 

I was getting my activity, and lo and behold, I see that I am at 612 calories burned so far. 

Oh, how cool--I can capture 613 in a another second or two. 

And I continue my activity looking intently at the Apple Watch monitor. 

Okay, 613 now!

No, now!

How about now? 

But it doesn't come. 

I am waiting for it.

It can't come on my terms.

Next thing I know, the calorie counter jumps from 612 to 616.

I can't believe it. 

I couldn't capture the 613 when I wanted to. 

Every other time so far has been--we'll it's just been. 

And maybe that's the whole point. ;-)

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

613 Calories

Walking It Good

Took a nice walk with my honey.

Down the Bethesda Trolley Trail.

Needs a little repaving work.

But it's nice lush green at this time of year. 

The exercise is good (and my diet appreciates it). 

And of course, spending time together talking and bonding is the road best traveled. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Walking It Good

Exercise It Dirty

So these ladies and gents are exercising underground in the Metro tunnel. 

They have grabbed the banister underneath and are doing pullups. 

However, the tunnels are really ick!

Often a sheltering place for the unfortunate, homeless, and sick trying to get out with their belongings from the cold or rainy weather. 

And the smell of urine is not uncommon even with the CCTV cameras at either end, 

Nice to workout and toughen up, but this is more than a share of morning wash up or hand sanitizer can deal with. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Exercise It Dirty

Letting It Out

We hit the boxing gym last night for a little tour. 

Guys and gals working out on the punching bags, mitts, and pads. 

It was great to see the energy--push ups, sits ups, weaving and jabbing, kicks, and more. 

They even had an Israeli self-defense class, taught by what I believe was a non-Israeli--that was a little strange.  

I asked one guy who looked like he'd been around the block there, if he was one of the instructors, and he told me how he's been boxing for 30 years. 

Curious, I said "What did you do before boxing?" He said, "Fighting! I've been fighting my entire life."

Anyway, whoever is laying around the house in front of the boob tube day and night--you need to get out and try some moving and shaking. 

Great stuff, and right in the mold of my role model, Rocky!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Letting It Out

Old Pool Out, New Pool In

So the pool is getting a major makeover. 

That's what happens when it starts to get some cracks. 

It had to be drained a couple of weeks ago. 

Then they came in with drills and have been ripping up the pool and removing the floor and sides ever since. 

Next up a brand new coat of swimming pool -- concrete and tiles. 

Followed by a top-to-bottom cleaning and shining up until it's spick and span.

Right now it looks so gross, but when it's done it will be awesome again.

Can't wait--I need my laps and hydrotherapy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Old Pool Out, New Pool In

Helpless And Helping

The following is all true.

So I dreamed last night a scary dream...

I was lying prone in a horizontal but bent position.

My clothes were tattered rags and my legs bare.

I could see my legs, but could not move them--at all. 

The bottom of the legs by the ankles were completely skinny, diseased and bright sore red (like burnt), and the skin was falling off them.

I knew I was in immense pain, but could not feel anything.

My legs completely useless, in hopelessness, I looked upward and called out:

"Father! Father! Father!" 

I was looking for my dad (who I know deeply loved me and vice versa), and hoping for him to come and help me somehow. 

Then, my voice turned and called:

"Father that art in heaven" and repeated this again. 

I was turning to G-d as the only one who could help me when everything else was stripped away. 

Then I awoke, and I was very afraid and yet somehow comforted--I had turned heavenward and found G-d. 

Later this morning, I went to the pool for a swim and as part of my post surgery rehabilitation. 

As I was swimming, I saw an old somewhat hunchback lady come to the pool.

I recognized her from other days when she does a little self-defined exercise routine against the side of the pool. 

But today, her lane at the sides were taken. 

Seeing that she was upset and couldn't do her exercise in the center of the pool, I stopped swimming and went over to her.

I said, "Why don't you share with me (there is plenty of room)?"

She hesitated and I could see maybe she needed help getting under the swim rope that divides the lanes, so I lifted it for her and told her reassuringly, "It's no problem."

And then she went under and did her exercise thing--and we shared.

It was such a small thing for me, but yet I could see it was a big deal for her--she was old and I could tell that she needed her routine.

Sort of funny but, when I offered to help, I could practically here the angels of heaven let out a little song of joy--seriously, I did. 

And I thought to myself...Andy, you can learn!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Helpless And Helping

There Is Today

I've always enjoyed physical fitness.

While I've lost some mobility with my hips...

I am trying to make the most of every day.

Rebecca is showing me the ropes with racquetball, and even Dossy tried it. 

A friend told me: "There is no yesterday, there is no tomorrow, there is only today!" ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

There Is Today

Pumping Some Iron

It's good to be getting back to myself.

Starting off with the light ones--yeah, just getting warmed up. ;-)

Thank you Hashem!  

(Source Video: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Pumping Some Iron

Flying Garbage

Thought this was an interesting way to get the garbage to the curbside truck.

This guy is standing in the yard of this brownstone building in the leftover snow.

Almost like an Olympian, he is picking up bag after bag of garbage and tossing them at least a dozen feet (or more).

The garbage in these big hefty bags are sailing through the air to his partner standing by the truck in the street. 

This guy must be getting quite some exercise not only lifting, but also throwing these bags all day long.

And he actually seemed to be having some fun doing it too.

Like my wife said, "What if you get hit by the garbage...ew."

Fly garbage, fly! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Flying Garbage

Motivate, BAM!

I took this photo of the wallpaper at the gym.

It has "motivate" embossed under the lady with the sparring gloves. 

They have similar hangings for swimming, weightlifting, cycling, and more around the fitness center.

I like them--they are motivational. 

Would be nice if the place also had some big windows, but this ain't bad to keep it fresh. 

BAM! Exercise. BAM! Stay healthy and fit. BAM!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Motivate, BAM!

This Is How You Do It Baby

The health club I’ve been going to has this thingamajig machine by the locker room.

A what?

That’s right--first no idea what it is, but I hear it making a lot of noise all the time.

Then one day, I put my curiosity to use, and stop to check it out. 

It’s a little square box called a Suitmate—and wow, cool, it's a mini clothes dryer that fits exactly one bathing suit.  Cute!  

Who would’ve thought…you put your wet bathing suit in, hold down the lid, and in seconds it spins it dry.

No more going home with a gym bag with wet laundry—Yeah, I’m liking this. 

Well, there is only one problem--it doesn’t just stop spinning by itself when you lift the lid.

So you end up scrunching up your fingers, putting them in the spinning basket, and pulling out the suit—trying to make sure not to get your hand spun out of whack. 

There has got to be a better way, right?

Well last night, this guy is at the machine spinning his suit dry.

He sees me waiting off to the side—I don’t rush him or anything.

So when he’s done, he motions me over to the machine.

He leans in and goes to me like he’s about to tell me this big, big secret.

He says, “You…you know how to make this machine stop...stop spinning?

I look up at him I suppose with a look like so many before me--communicating that I had no idea there was a way to make it stop

He nods in understanding and give me this smirk--ear to ear. 

He says in this broken English, “You don’t put your hand in the spinner and pull it out (motioning this dangerous way).  No! “

Then he points to this little cylindrical object jutting out the top of the machine on either side (it looks like something that just holds the lid in place).

He looks at me intently, and I knew this guy is getting ready now to tell me something he considers very important—something he wouldn’t just tell anyone. 

Suddenly, he lunges and grabs the cylinder on the machine and pulls--and almost like magic it stops spinning, just like that!

He looks at me again and nods like he just told me the secret to life itself.

This whole scene was so surreal and really funny, but you know what—it works.

Some things it’s good just to be told--this is how you do it baby. ;-)

This Is How You Do It Baby

I Watch The Years Go By

So two quick stories on getting a little older...

First story:

After my workout today, a guy follows me into the elevator.  

He opens conversation and asks me, “Did you have a good workout?”

I said, “Sure did! What did you do today [for exercise]?”

He motions his arms up and down like pushing some machines and doing some curls, “A little of this and that [long pause]...You know I’m 80!”

I said, “Wow that’s awesome that you still work out--can I ask, how do you do it?”

He replies, “The key is to always keep going, and not to give up.”

I say, “Yes, but also I think it has a lot to do with the One Above.”

He nods in agreement, although still looking determined to keep himself pumping away in the gym. 

As the elevator doors open I say, “Well, I sure hope you can keep going like this for another 80 years.”

He gives me a warm smile, and says, "I hope so too."

Second story:

One of my colleagues at work is retiring after an amazing 51 years of service to the government. 

Now this guy having been around awhile has a really nice engraving of the agencies seal hung on the wall in his office, and months ago, I had commented to him how beautiful and special it was and that “they don’t make them like they used to.”

He said, “Well you know what? When I retire, I’m going to pass it on to for safekeeping.” I thought that is nice, but also probably just talk as they say. 

Well recently, he has announced his "big day" and so he stops by my office, and in his hands he is holding the beautiful seal engraving--he puts out his arms, handing it to me. 

I was like, “OMG, I didn't really expect this. This is great.  Are you sure you want me to have it.”

You says, “Absolutely!” referring back to his promise a number of months ago.  Then he pauses, obviously thinking for a moment, and says to me, “But you have to put in 51 years of government service also! [big smile]”

I said, "That's a noble idea, but honestly, I think I started a little late for that. How about we go for 30 or so with G-d's help?"

Anyway, thinking about these two events, I am not quite sure how these amazing people do it…years of doing, giving, and with a great attitude--and always a desire for another round to go. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

I Watch The Years Go By

"The Chief"

So swimming in Florida last week, I couldn't help but think about my years back at Eagle Day Camp.

First as a camper, then counselor, and finally lifeguard at this fairly large Orthodox Jewish children's camp in Rockland County, New York. 

As a camper, I hated swimming and the smelly, musty, and overcrowded locker rooms.

When I was only about 6-7 already, I told my parents, I would only go to camp, if I didn't have to swim--after a lot of fuss, I got them to agree.

But years later, I learned to love swimming--the gorgeous outdoors, calming water, and health and therapeutic effects. 

I worked with "The Chief" (Norman Garfield, pictured at left) for many years...he was a radio talk show host and actor, and in camp played the starring role of Chief Taka Zeis, last of the Gutta Neshamah (Yiddish for Good Soul) Tribe.

He entertained the children like no one else could--with made up chants of "Tzitsamagoo!", his silly outfits (notice the unmatched socks in addition to the feather hat), and to songs like "Let the Sun Shine In," he was always someone that could be counted on to safely watch the children swim, teach them, and make them laugh. 

One Summer, The Chief, encouraged us (the other lifeguards) to sign up for the Red Cross Swim and Stay Fit program, and I think I swam 20-30 miles in between lifeguarding over about 6-8 weeks. 

Those were some fun times with The Chief and some of my old friends like Mark Stadtmauer, Elissa Rothman (Brodsky), and many others. 

Today, just a few months post hip surgery, I once again appreciate the swimming, and try to go as often as possible for health reasons. 

I am thankful for those years and for the ones granted now. ;-)

(Source Photo: Who The Heck Remembers)

"The Chief"