Driving Your Organization Off A Cliff

So life is generally supposed to be a series a peaks and valleys. 

There are highs, but also lows.  

No one and nothing can perform at peak all the time. 

Like the commandment to keep the Shabbat, everyone needs a rest. 

And studies have shown that getting a healthy dose of sleep, pause, and rest in life is healthy.

When we force ourselves or others to perform past their "designed" limits, then we risk a breakdown. 

Machines break and people can break. 

The risks are either explosion or implosion: some people can frighteningly "go postal" and others end up on psychiatric medication or even sick and in the hospital. 

What is key to remember is that you can push the limits of performance so far, but then no further without a healthy, recuperative rest period and down time. 

If you want to raise the bar on yourself, others, or your organization, you need to do it strategically so there is a surge forward and then a normative recovery and energy buildup again. 

As we all know, life is a marathon and not a sprint, and the journey is as important as the destination. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Alan Levine)

Driving Your Organization Off A Cliff

Compassion Instead Of Anger

So I was speaking to someone recently about how angry they were with some stressful things and people in their life. 

I listened carefully and tried to empathize--also in full transparency, it got to be a lot and I at some point was begging them to stop!

At one point, I just said, instead of being angry maybe try to be compassionate. 

And I could see in other person's reaction that they thought perhaps that I had hit on something a little eye-opening here. 

We can get angry about all the stresses and injustices that we perceive in our lives. 

People blame us, attack us, don't appreciate us, talk down to us, disrespect us, even bully us or try to hurt us.

Also life throws some pretty stinging to earth-shattering circumstances upon us.

And maybe we have every right to feel angry.

But usually the anger, unless we need the adrenaline-rush in fighting for our survival and for our core beliefs and values, doesn't help us achieve what we really want. 

What we want most of the time is to resolve things!

But getting angry and lashing out often only makes things worse. 

We act rashly, we overreact, we say and do things we may regret afterwards, and the consequences of our reaction can be severe to us afterwards in terms of alienating and harming others, escalating the situation and making it worse, creating hurt and destruction in our own wake, and even losing jobs or getting yourself in trouble and sent to the pokey.

If instead of getting angry and flinging arrows, we look at things from eyes of compassion, we can listen to others more carefully, understand the situation better, and try to rectify bad relationships or cope with stressful life events by employing emotional intelligence and a soft hand/skills. 

This is not to say that we should excuse really bad behavior or truly unforgivable misdeeds, but rather that we should look at things in a larger context, the role we play, and as part of our our life challenges to make things better and overcome.

Anger and the associated response is appropriate when the little devil is doing their misdeeds (lashing out severely and/or repeatedly with harm and intent), but compassion can help to see everything else for what it is or isn't and gives us an opportunity to react with a level head, a stable hand, and humanity as a first resort. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Compassion Instead Of Anger

Forcing Kids Backfires Big Time

Fascinating article in the Sunday New York Times today on how the stress we are putting on our kids is making them sick. 

With testing of High school students showing incredibly alarming rates of mental illness:

- 54% with moderate to severe depression.

- 80%+ with moderate to severe anxiety.

And 94% of college counseling directors "seeing rising numbers of students with severe psychological problems."

Even pediatricians are reporting 5-, 6-, and 7-year olds coming in for migraines and ulcers!

Another teacher said with all this, "We're sitting on a ticking time bomb."

Under the pressure to get into great schools and get a foot in the door in excellent careers and attain high-paying jobs, we are making our kids work longer school days, do more homework, take more Advanced Placement (AP) exams, participate in numerous extracurricular activities, and achieve, achieve, achieve. 

We've taken away normal play time--the fun out of life growing up--and the imagination, exploration, and discovery away from kids just being kids. 

The paradox is that "the pressure cooker is hurting, not helping, our kid's prospect for success."

Especially for parents who themselves grew up poor or lacking, maybe they are trying to do the "right thing"and give their kids more than they had and a "better life."

But maybe even the best intentions to mold children to be what we want them to be, or think they should or could be, is misplaced.

If only we could all take a little (or BIG) chill pill...you can't force success--with forcing you get the opposite results.

Back off people--instead of pushing and endless disciplining--how about we listen to the children, guide them, show unconditional love, and be excellent examples--show them integrity, a strong work ethic, along with an appreciation for work-life balance, then perhaps we will get not only the success of the next generation that we all need, but also happier, better adjusted, and healthier children. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Forcing Kids Backfires Big Time

Letting It Out

We hit the boxing gym last night for a little tour. 

Guys and gals working out on the punching bags, mitts, and pads. 

It was great to see the energy--push ups, sits ups, weaving and jabbing, kicks, and more. 

They even had an Israeli self-defense class, taught by what I believe was a non-Israeli--that was a little strange.  

I asked one guy who looked like he'd been around the block there, if he was one of the instructors, and he told me how he's been boxing for 30 years. 

Curious, I said "What did you do before boxing?" He said, "Fighting! I've been fighting my entire life."

Anyway, whoever is laying around the house in front of the boob tube day and night--you need to get out and try some moving and shaking. 

Great stuff, and right in the mold of my role model, Rocky!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Letting It Out

Outskirts City Life

Liked this piece of art, which I am calling Outskirts City Life. 

In the background, under cloudy skies, the tall city buildings--sort of wobbly with all the people and goings-on, which in a way we want to leave behind for some peace and quiet. 

In the foreground is a bridge and park with some sun and trees and people talking, sitting and laying in the grass and a lonesome car driving by.

The colors are vibrant, the shapes are almost like three-dimensional cut-outs making a sort of fairy tale feeling to the whole landscape. 

The picture is overall one where we balance hectic life in the city with the restfulness and tranquility of surrounding nature. 

It's a life where harmony is made by conscious choice and actions to promote a healthy body and mind amidst what we seek to do and accomplish and all that which we are asked to bear for it. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Outskirts City Life

Work-Family Is A Word

This week I learned something about "work-family."

Yes, work is not family--it's your job.

But on the job we meet people that influence us, change us, and sometimes inspire us. 

Not everyone has a positive impact on us--some people we work with are bad, unbalanced, selfish, biased, and abusive--they bring their personal craziness into the office. 

But some are truly good people out there--and they leave a lasting impact. 

This week was the first time I experienced someone in my group passing away suddenly. 

She was at work Monday and Tuesday--we had talked and joked.

I remember she wore pink on Tuesday and it matched a pink stuffed animal on her desk--she looked happy or at peace. 

By early Wednesday morning, I was getting texts then calls that she had passed away (I simultaneously let my boss know). 

One day she was there in the office (and had been for some 30 years) and the next day she was gone.

But there was something special about this lady and how she interacted with the team. 

She seemed to touch people far and wide with her outreach, caring for others, joking around, and good spirit despite whatever challenges she herself may have been going through.

When she passed this week, people were in my office and the halls crying--they loved this lady, their coworker and friend.

At 9 AM, I gathered the broader team to announce her passing. "One of our own has passed." I spoke and then went around offering others to say a few words, which some surely did. 

At 10 AM, I sent a notification of the passing to the people in the entire building (and others associated).

Later in the day, there was a toast to her and more speeches from up and down the chain to remember this good lady as well as to pull together as a team to support each other.

By the next day, things had quickly moved to care for the family, packing her office things and memorializing her, as well as provisions for some grief counseling. 

[Note: I am blessed with an extraordinary high-performance team, and this passing was not only a shock but added to the intensity of the work we do and how much of it there is.]

Once we have all the funeral arrangements, then next up is sending out an broader department-wide notice--and a large attendance for her is expected. 

What I learned is that while work itself can be productive and meaningful, through doing good to others and sincere personal interactions on the job, there can be bonds formed that can have a personal impact on people and bring tears to their eyes. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Work-Family Is A Word

Self-Aware Graffiti Artist

So got to hand it to this graffiti artist. 

He/she is quite introspective. 

They wrote on this pole in D.C. "Writes his problems away!"

Thus, it's not just any old graffiti that often desecrates public or private property, but in this case it is an emotional and psychological catharsis for the artist.  

Sure when you write, you can express yourself and your feelings--you can think things through and work them out in your head. 

Also, you can share of yourself with others and influence them too. 

On the lamp pole, bus stop, or building wall--ah, not the best place to work these things out. 

But on paper or the computer, if you have something important to say, get it off your chest--go for it--and you can feel better too! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Self-Aware Graffiti Artist

Ready To Explode

So have you ever had to deal with someone at work and they are NOT exactly acting the consummate professional?

They may be volatile, angry, raising their voice, intransigent, threatening, acting the a*s, maybe even a little meshuga.

Yeah, unfortunately it happens (although it absolutely shouldn't)!  

People have crap going on in the office, at home, and sometimes they come in and they just can't cope.  

G-d forbid, they should never really "go postal" as in real violence--but you never really know what you are going to be dealing with. 

One colleague said some people are just "hypervolic"--a new word for someone who is excessive, over the top, and emotionally volcanic!

Yikes--scary enough. 

Another colleague I know who is excellent with people and has decades of experience dealing with a cast of characters told me, "I just look at everyone as a bomb ready to go off."

Ugh, not exactly how I would want to perceive people around me, but the point is well taken--you never know (and you can almost hear the ticking now). 

With some people we sort of know from dealing with them that they have some marbles loose, and while others may appear calm, cool, and collected on the outside, on the inside they may be a volcano ready to blow. 

Heck, you can't read everyone right and even if you do, you can try to calm them down, listen to them, work with them, talk sense to them, suggest some counseling or other outside assistance, but even then they may go off the deep end. 

Lots of personalities out there, lots of people with problems and stresses, and sometimes we in our best intentions may make mistakes or unknowingly say the wrong thing and it only inflames the situation.

Of course hopefully, calmer heads will prevail, professionalism will take front seat, and people will get some perspective and do the right thing...chill man!

But also keep in mind what my colleagues said, some people may  just be ready to go explode--like a volcano--and we need to be ready for that too. 

How do you prepare for this?

Yeah, I don't remember them covering that subject in leadership training--maybe with the exception of listen, show empathy, and if worst comes to worst you can either head for the exits to get away or shelter in place before the human stress bomb goes big boom! ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Camilo Rueda Lopez)

Ready To Explode

When You're Feeling Blue...

I was intrigued by this "Rescue Gum." 

Whole Foods carries this bright yellow-packaged gum pack (17 pieces), selling it at checkout for just $6.99.

Thinking, they should probably sell this right next to the fruit-flavored "Life Savers."

So this gum is for stress relief, and it's made with 5 flower remedies.

Do you believe in that? 

When I looked this gum up online, it says:

- "Keep out of reach of children.

- If pregnant or breastfeeding, ask a health professional before use.

- Excessive consumption may induce mildly laxative effects.

- Not suitable for animals."

Okay, so if you weren't stressed out before reading the warning on this gum, you are now, right? 

I think I'll pass on the rescue gum, and head over to the hot bar in the back for some seitan and veggies. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When You're Feeling Blue...

Going For A Healing

So my wife tricked me today...

First day in Santa Fe and there was so much to see. 

By afternoon, my wife said she was tired and wanted to stop in an "Oxygen Bar."

Good Jewish boy from the Bronx, what do I know from Oxygen Bars?

So they had these cool health tonics, soothing music, beautiful artwork, oxygen therapy, and...

In the back, they did healing treatments!

So my wife tells me I should do this.

Ah, why do I want to spend money on healing treatments?

She jumps up, goes over and talks to the owner, and comes back and says "Okay honey, she is going to give you a sampler."

A what!

I hem and haw, but my wife doesn't take no for an answer, so I reluctantly go to try it.

Well...

I really enjoyed it.  

From spa-type treatments to spiritual healing.

I had a smorgasbord of some light massage/reflexology, oils, sprays, rocks, branches and leaves, warm wet cloths, figure eights with a dream catcher, angels and animal spirits, and even prayers said. 

The very nice Jewish owner, Kadima Levanah, spoke about releasing your energy, having compassion on yourself, doing your best, starting anew, and having a full healing. 

By the end, I was smiling and feeling a lot more stress free--even though my wife tricked me like usual! ;-)

(Source Photo: Rebecca Blumenthal)

Going For A Healing

Finals Week

This was a funny (-sad) picture right outside the new Science and Engineering Building at the prestigious George Washington University today. 

It looks much like a noose and is lit up by the glass and modern finishes of this new building. 

So a colleague says jokingly to me "Is that because of [the stress of] finals week?"

Now execution and suicide are definitely not a laughing matter...

But what a juxtaposition of this gorgeous new building going up and the old time hangman's noose (almost) hanging down. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal) 

Finals Week

Pain Relief - SUPER SIZED!

This was funny at CVS today.

The "value size" extra strength Tylenol (equivalent)--1000 pills!

Think about it that's something like 500 headaches...

It reminded me when I worked in the financial service industry in New York City.

The Comptroller of the corporation has a mega size bottle of aspirin right on the front of his desk when you walked in.

It was clear he was quite S~T~R~E~S~S~E~D out.

From a personal branding perspective (my wife is the expert at this), I would imagine that this is not the image you would want people to have of you all the time.

Anyway, pain relief for some is a very big bottle of Tylenol and for others a nice bottle of wine or some time at the beach. 

My father used to tell me the joke, "If I have to give up wine, women, or song...I'll give up singing!" ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Pain Relief - SUPER SIZED!

Monday Blues

This was a funny sign on the large computer display overhung in a prominent medical facility around Washington, D.C. 

I remember as a kid, Monday's were notorious for being called "Blue Monday."

Further, Blue Mondays were in stark contrast to Sunday Fundays!

Already on Sunday evenings, many people would start getting the doldrums and sort of want to just mellow after 5 or 6 pm--I think mostly to deal with the anxiety of a new week. 

My father always used to tell me never to worry, instead to have faith in G-d that he will always do what is best for you--essentially, that faith and fear do not mix. 

I don't know about wanting to "break up" with Monday, but it would sure be nice if the week instead started with Tuesday. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Monday Blues

Better Early Than Never

So I learned a new word/concept today...PREcrastination (New York Times)

It's when you do things early!

The better known opposite word is PROcrastintion.

That's when you put things off or delay...often until the very last minute.

We know why people procrastinate--they don't want or like to do something, have more important things to do, may be overwhelmed with too many taskers, or perhaps they are just plain lazy. 

But why do people precrastinate?

Well, it's sort of the inverse of the above--they may like doing it, it may be a priority, or they just may want to get "ahead of the curve" on all the things they have on their to-dos, or they may be a Type A personality and don't rest until they've "got a handle on things."

Getting things done at the last minute (procrastination), can push off stress until later--perhaps a better time to deal with it, but getting it done early (precrastination), can help eliminate stress by just getting it over with. 

Some of us who get things done right away, may be doing extra work, because at times, the necessity of the moment is "overcome by events" (OBE) later on or we may start something before we even have all the directions or information and do it wrong altogether. 

While others who dilly-dally, may find that they waited too long to get the job done or have other things going on later that precludes them from meeting the timeline--as they say, "if you fail to plan, plan to fail!"

Is there a right or wrong in terms of Pre/Procrastination?

I want to tell you now, but I think I'll wait until later. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Better Early Than Never

Live Stress Free, Almost

As we all know, stress is a killer--so you want to minimize it (if you can)!

There is a great little piece from CareerCast on the most and least stressful jobs out there in 2014.

From least stressful--audiologist.

To most stressful--enlisted military.

Anyway, to avoid stress--keep calm like the picture says, but also consider jobs with the following attributes:

- Desk job

- High growth potential

- Fewer strict deadlines

- Less travel

- Greater congeniality 

- Non-hazardous

One question from the list of jobs...why be a taxi driver earning an average of almost $23,000 a year in one of the top 10 most stressful jobs, when you can be a hair stylist earning about the same and have the 2nd least stressful job out there? 

So trade in your driver's license and learn to give a great hairdo! ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Live Stress Free, Almost

Posture Matters

So the military got it right when they teach their cadets to stand tall "at attention."

"Chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in."

The Wall Street Journal (21 August 2013) says that "posture can determine who's a hero, [and] who's a wimp."

Research has shown that striking a power pose raises testosterone levels that is associated with feelings of strength, superiority, social dominance, (and even aggression at elevated levels) and lowers cortisol levels and stress. 

Power poses or even just practicing these have been linked with better performance, including interviewing and SAT scores.

Body language or non-verbal communication such as standing erect, leaning forward, placing hands firmly on the table, can project power, presence,  confidence, and calmness. 

It all ties together where saying the right thing is augmented and synergized by looking the right way, and doing the right thing. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Official U.S. Navy Imagery)

Posture Matters

ROBOTS Wanted!

Good video from The Atlantic on automation and the concern about Robots taking our jobs.

From the 1800's, when "the Luddites,"--British textile workers--protested the loom to the 1900's where 40% of our nations job were farm workers and now it's just 2%...the question is where does automation stop?

Very likely it doesn't (thanks to evolution)!

As robots can first mimic and then outdo their human developers and as artificial intelligence gets more intelligent, robots are moving from farm to factory to white collar jobs.

Computers and robotics, once relegated to repetitive tasks like on the assembly line, are becoming good at winning Jeopardy and as a surgical platform. 

The bar is being raised not just on technology, but on humans to retrain to ever more sophisticated thinking and communicating positions (from software developers and product designers to branding and communications specialists). 

People are constantly evolving to think and innovate better and are in turn building ever more capable technologies to replace more human jobs and leading once again to the need for even higher-level human performance. 

Progress--a never-ending cycle of outperforming ourselves. 

Where does it stop--the attainment of ever-higher levels of knowledge and productivity leading to heavenly bliss here on Earth or perhaps large elements of burnout, breakdown, and potentially self-destruction.

I often hear people recalling and reminiscing about earlier, simpler, and "better times."

The Wall Street Journal (17 August 2013) just had such an editorial looking to bring back the tranquility and idleness of hot summer Augusts, instead now replaced by more work and school. 

At the same time, very few of us would really want to go back in time before all the technology-wunderkind that we have now and enjoy (many seem think more like you'll have to pry that iPhone from my cold, dead hands!). 

The challenge: Robots may be taking jobs, but we need to stay ahead and to master not only ever higher levels of human knowledge and skills, but also the good sense to reconcile with the technology blitz and be able to actually find the time and inner-peace to sit back and enjoy it all as well. ;-)

ROBOTS Wanted!

Less With Less

This was a funny picture of a "Complaint Jar".

"All complaints must be written on $1.00 bills or larger. Thank you."

Hey, if you're going to complain, put your money where you mouth is. 

The person on the receiving end isn't looking for more negativity and insults about the job they are doing--they want compliments and tips!

This is similar to a story I heard today about an executive where he and his team where stretched thin and stressed out.

So at one point, when he was once again asked to do more with less, he slams his fist on the table and says, "No, we are going to do less with less!"

It is interesting that nationally and in our organizations, we are constantly asked to increase productivity, but at the same tighten our belts. 

And in the short to intermediate term, we are able to shed "dead weight" and become more efficient.

However, over the longer-term, there does come a breaking point, where trying to do more with less results not in cutting fat, but in cutting bone--and the stress ends up in a fracture. 

Before you know it, fists are slamming on desks, absenteeism is going up, people are getting sick, fights--verbal and otherwise--are breaking out at work, poor decisions are being made, fighting for scarce resources become fierce, and collaboration becomes overt warfare, and perhaps, even someone commits suicide or "goes postal."

Cutting for efficiency can work up to a point, after that all bets are off and you cut at your own and your organization's risk--then even the complaint jar or suggestion box will be nothing but a broken marquee. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Less With Less

When Desperation Turns Deadly

It was shocking to read that suicide deaths in the U.S. have now surpassed deaths by motor vehicle accidents.

In 2010, there were over 38,000 suicides compared with almost 34,000 motor vehicle deaths (or 14.1 suicides per 100,000 people aged 10 and older versus 10.7 deaths from motor vehicles). 

Motor vehicle deaths have been, thank G-d, declining since 1999, while suicides are unfortunately up by almost a third (31%). 

Suicide for working adults were double other demographics (and highest for those in their 50's), while for teens and the elderly, the rates stayed flat. 

According to the Wall Street Journal (3 May 2012), for middle-age people 35-64, suicide is now the 4th highest cause of death after cancer, heart disease, and unintentional injury (e.g. drowning). 

Suicide prevention efforts that have typically been directed to at-risk teenagers and the elderly are now being looked at for greater focus on middle-aged adults. 

The article points to tough economic times (with the recession of 2007) as a potential factor in the increase. 

I would assume also that the 10 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan have contributed to the increase as well due to posttraumatic stress disorder. 

Yet, suicide is a very final act of escape for those acutely suffering from economic hardships, the horrors of war, and depression--and we can only imagine how much pain these people must be feeling to do the unthinkable. 

I am familiar with teenagers and adults taking or attempting suicide--some have survived and others have died. 

For those lucky enough to survive, they have the opportunity to rebuild their lives and try again, while those who didn't make it, their loved ones suffer with the emptiness that was once a loving and caring individual, part of their lives. 

I was taught in Yeshiva that suicide is a very grave sin and people don't have the right to take the life that G-d granted them, but in my mind, those who suffer so as to attempt or commit suicide are probably not in a state of mind or in full control of themselves to be fully responsible. 

It is worth thinking about that if 38,000 actually commit suicide a year, how many more attempt it, contemplate it often, or otherwise consider it occasionally. 

People need help coping. I remember learning in English class in college that "all men live lives of quiet desperation," and I wonder how many are out there suffering inside--at times desperate, but usually putting a smile on their faces. 

We need to look beyond the surface of what people are going through, have empathy, have mercy, and give plentifully of your time, and kindness to all--you may just be saving a desperate life from taking that one last and unforgiving step. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When Desperation Turns Deadly

Never Worn, But Not For The Reason You Think

I remember learning for my MBA about people's shopping addiction (aka compulsive shopping) and how it consumes their time and money and fuels their self-esteem. 

Like a high gotten from alcohol, drugs, and sex, shopping can give people a relief from the everyday stresses that engulf them.

An interesting article in the Wall Street Journal (18 April 2013) called "A Closet Filled With Regrets" chronicles how people buy stuff they never wear and are sorry they bought it. 

In fact, the article states, "Only about 20% of clothes in the average person's closet are worn on a regular basis."

One example given is a Pulitzer Prize -winning author who spent $587,000 on Gucci items between 2010-2012, before seeking treatment for his addiction. 

A related disorder is shopper's remorse that occurs, because people second guess themselves and feel maybe an alternative would've been a better choice (i.e. they made a bad choice), they didn't really need the item to begin with (i.e. it was just impulsive), or that they spent too much (i.e. they got a bad deal). 

For me, as a child of Holocaust survivors, I find that when I purchase something nice (not extravagant), I put away and also never wear it. 

The difference for me is not that I have shoppers remorse, an addiction to shopping, or that I am unhappy with my purchase, but rather that I cannot wear it because I feel as a child of survivors that I have to save it--just in case. 

No, it's not rational--even though I am a very practical and rational person in just about every other way.

It's just that having seen what can happen when times are bad--and people have nothing--I cannot bear to grant myself the luxury of actually wearing or using something really good.

Perhaps also, I look at my parent's generation, who suffered so much, and think why am I deserving of this? 

They sacrificed and survived, so we (their children) could have it better--what every parent wants for their children, or should.

But still, in my heart, I know that I am the one who has had it easy compared to their lives, and so those purchases are going to stay right where they are--never worn until I donate them to Goodwill. 

I never really considered them mine anyway. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Never Worn, But Not For The Reason You Think