Need Some Money

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A Monopoly sweepstakes by McDonald's to draw customers. 

Sort of ironic a low-cost fast food provider "giving" money away.

But who doesn't need money? 

I remember the song as a child, "Money makes the world go round..."

Always distasteful at the focus in the world on money, instead of on being good decent people with a bigger picture on issues, suffering, and tikkun olam. 

Really, it's the tug of war between people's personal selfishness and the ability to exhibit selfless giving to others. 

Does a person need a certain amount of financial stability and security to be a better giver?

I guess that makes sense--if you have more and don't feel financially burdened and threatened at every turn in life, you can be more charitable with your own giving--not feeling pinched and vulnerable. 

Still, I think it's important to remember that money can certainly be at "the root of all evil" when it becomes the end rather than the means to a life of purpose, understanding, and compassion that goes way beyond our own little desires and selves. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Need Some Money

Spending It All Down

So Parkinson's Law states that "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

The more time you have on your hands, the longer it takes you to do something. 

I find this to be so true...like on a day off, I don't find myself typically getting any more done than on a regular work day. 

But what is true for time, also seems to apply to money. 

The more money you make, the more you need. 

And while you may get more or better quality for your extra bucks, you still don't have a lot in net savings. 

Thus in line with Conspicuous Consumption, we spend more on luxury goods when we have more money and we spend more of our leisure time on doing the same basic set of activities when we have more time to spend.

Either way, more time and money often means more wasting of each, with people finding it extraordinarily difficult to save when they have (too) much of either. 

Perhaps, that why the big time hip hop artist, Kanye West recently tweeted about being $53 million in debt.

Or why Benjamin Franklin said, "If you want something done, ask a busy person."

Your personal decision is what you end up spending your extra time and money on. 

The only real difference with time and money is that money you can put in the bank, but time passes whether you are busy or not.

Perhaps the best investment for both is to spend on education, experiences, on loved ones, and on helping others. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Parg)

Spending It All Down

A Last Act Of Giving

So after the Rabbi's speech today on the Halachic Organ Donor Society, I joined up to be a donor. 

I had always believed this was the right thing to do, but knowing that there is a kosher way to do it, sealed the cause for me. 

There are more than 123,000 Americans that need lifesaving organ transplants and every 10 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list, so if I don't need mine any more, I'd like to help someone that does. 

While ideally, I would like to return my body to  G-d in pristine condition the same way that I received it, I realize that life wears away at us and moreover, sometimes tragedy (G-d forbid) strikes. 

Of course, I hope and pray for a long and healthy life, but if we are in a position to help, how can we not be there for those who need us in one last giving moment. ;-)

(Source Photo of Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Last Act Of Giving

Love 'em OR Leave 'em

An age old question, "Love 'em or leave 'em?"

I heard one young man say, "I love her...but I'm not in love with her."

So what's the difference?

He's been seeing two girls, one is steady and stable, earns a good income, and is head over heels for him--when he is sick, she makes the chicken soup. 

Then there is this other girl, foreign, cool accent, good-looking, intelligent, has similar interests, but no serious income--however, there is some serious hots there. 

What do you do?

Girl #1 or #2.

Who's the better bet--Ms. I love her or Gal I'm in love with her?

One women said that years ago, mothers would tell their daughters, "If they bring home a paycheck and look better than a baboon, marry them!"

Back then, marriages were often arranged by the parents or the village elders ("Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch...").

These days, there is much more a sense of the need for compatibility, chemistry, and passion--I can't live without him/her.

Without the mutual respect and passion, it might as well be in the bedroom like, "Let's just get this over with" or something pathetic like that.  

In some ultra religious circles, I've heard some women sadly simply referred to as "baby machines."

Yet on the flip side, I remember hearing this story when I was young about this famous model (it could have been about Bo Derek, but I can't remember for sure), and they interviewed her husband who was known to have married her for her unbelievable gorgeous looks, and they asked him, "What would you do, if she had a terrible car accident, and was horribly disfigured?" And his cold, hard response was, "I would leave her!"

Ok, so looks are skin deep, and passion is important but doesn't replace shared values, genuine commitment, and selfless giving to one another. 

Maybe the answer is it's not 1 or 2, but 1 and 2--we need someone that will make the chicken soup when we are sick, but who we also find hot in the sack. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Love 'em OR Leave 'em

It's Not About The Regrets

So a teacher recently gave her students a scenario with the following moral dilemma:

An important and talented surgeon who has saved many lives in the past and will surely save many more in the future runs across an old man who has slipped and fallen under the cracking ice into a lake after trying unsuccessfully to save his puppy from drowning.  

The old man is trapped and will freeze to death in short order.

Should the surgeon walk across the breaking ice and risk his own life to try and save the old man?

The vast majority of students' responded...that the surgeon should try and save the old man.

When asked why they thought that, most said because otherwise he would feel guilty afterwards. 

Thinking about that it seems like a funny reason to do something dangerous, heroic, and maybe utterly stupid...so as not to feel guilty. 

I guess that I would've thought people who would advocate for trying to save the old man would say something like

- Every life is valuable!
- Saving one person is like saving the world.
- Helping people even at our own risk or peril is what we do for our fellow human beings.
- We would want others to help us if we were in trouble, so we should do that for them. 

While we can't judge someone else for how they react in situations of genuine moral conflict, we can teach the younger generation that doing something good for others is about more than just not feeling bad or guilty afterwards (for being lazy, selfish, or making the wrong call in the situation).

Making moral judgements is about choosing in every situation to try your best to do what's right, help people, be a good influence, take responsibility, and generally act selflessly, but not recklessly. 

Regret stinks (and can be truly painful), but missing opportunities to live a good, meaningful life is much worse. ;-)

(Source Photo: The Blumenthals)

It's Not About The Regrets

Happy 25th Anniversary!

Tomorrow night is the first night of Chanukah. 

That is when 25-years ago, I first met and went out with my lovely wife, Dossy. 

I picked her up at work in mid-town, and wined and dined her at Ratner's on the Lower East Side in NYC.

We talked, laughed, and I couldn't take my eyes off her!

We ended the evening with her writing her phone number in lipstick on a little piece of paper, and she told me to call her again. 

I came home in 7th heaven, and my dad asked me how it went, and smiling ear-to-ear, I said "This is the one!"

My dad said, "It's the first night of Chanukah, the holiday of miracles, so please G-d!"

I think Dossy and I went out 2 more times just that week, and the rest is beautiful history.

Thank you Hashem for mercifully granting my lovely wife and two beautiful daughters, Minna and Rebecca. 

I appreciate every moment of every day with Dossy and my girls--for the precious time on Earth we have together, for caring when the chips are down, for celebrating the good times, and for putting up with me. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Happy 25th Anniversary!

Life Is All About Stones

Today, Rabbi Haim Ovadia gave an interesting speech at Magen David Synagogue about the life of Jacob and his relationships to stones. 

Here's what I took away from this: 

- Jacob took a stone to rest his head on (i.e. a pillow) and went to sleep. 

- After Jacob dreamed about the Angels ascending and descending the ladder to the heavens, he anointed the stone with oil and consecrated it to G-d. 

- When Jacob sees Rachel coming to water her father, Laban's sheep, Jacob rolls the stone from off the well to quench their thirst. 

- As Jacob blessed his 12 sons, he is called the "stone of Israel."

So what's the significance of all this stone in Jacob's and in our lives?

MILESTONES: We celebrate major stages (milestones) in our lives like births, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, graduations, weddings, and jobs/promotions,  and we also give diamond (stone) rings to our beloved upon engagement. 

CORNERSTONES: We build the foundations (cornerstones) for progress and advancement with our contributions to the world (giving to others, leaving the world a better place than when we got here). 

HEADSTONES: We mark and honor a person's life and place a headstone at their grave to signify our love, respect, and gratitude for everything they have done. 

I'd add that hopefully, along the way in our lives, we don't have too many problems and too much stress and get KIDNEY STONES. 

Interestingly "Some people have a heart of stone, and some stones have a heart."

Like the Western Wall ("The Kotel") of the Temple in Jerusalem where the Jews pray to G-d--the stones in the wall have history, they have seen the joys and challenges of the people, and they have heard the stories and prayers of the worshippers that go to pray there.

Stones themselves are neutral--they can be used to celebrate, consecrate, build, and memorialize, with, and stones can also be used to hurl and smash and kill with.

For Jacob and his children, even simple stones are a way to worship G-d Almighty.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Life Is All About Stones

Can You Have Too Much Money?

I took this photo inside a 16 Handles that sells frozen yogurt and toppings. 

The cashier had put out this cup for tips.

On the cup is a sign that says:

"Money is the root of all evil.  Cleanse yourself here.  Thanks."

Sort of a smart way to get people to give. 

Afterwards, I was mulling over whether it's true--is money "the bad guy" in life or what makes us do bad things?

Sure, people want money--and they usually like lots of it--they want to live "the good life" --with big houses, fancy cars, nice clothes, good food, exotic vacations, and financial security--how sweet it is!

And so often when people can't get it legitimately, they will resort to lying, cheating, and stealing to get it.

But fortune is just a facet of something larger that gnaws at people souls --and that is greed. 

People don't just want money, they are also greedy for power, fame, brains, brawn, sexual satisfaction, and a long (or immortal) life to enjoy it all. 

So probably greed is the real root of all evil and money is just one of the larger branches.

Perhaps that is why religion and piety is often associated with asceticism--avoiding indulgence--and instead devoting oneself more to spiritual pursuits in life and to servitude of G-d. 

Also of course, devotion to family, friends, and community--doing good deeds--giving and not taking--are held in high esteem for people looking for something more meaningful and devout in life.

Also, having recently seem some people with "too much of a good thing"--I realized that when people actually get all the material things they want and in such complete abundance--they can literally drown themselves in it.  

It's sickening after a while--literally--the law of diminishing returns kicks in, and the things that are so coveted just become overwhelming and poisonous to the person. 

I saw this in a movie once too where the person who stole from the king is punished by having swathes and swathes of molten gold poured down the person's throat--"You want it that bad, well here it is!"

There comes a point, a maturity, a depth, a realization, when a person just wishes for enough in life, for the people they love, and for happiness with them--they find genuine contentment--and that is something worth being greedy for. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Can You Have Too Much Money?

A Delicate Balance

I love this desk doodad that I found in the gallery. 

Two guys perched at opposite ends of a strewn out ladder, balancing precariously on top of a sphere (maybe the Earth). 

Take a step forward or backwards and it can upset the balance of things and everyone falls down. 

Don't move--and you are in perpetual stasis--just balancing with the other guy so as not ruin the equilibrium of things, you're stuck in limbo.

Maybe this is the definition of either doing nothing and going nowhere or creating a lose-lose situation, where you try to benefit yourself at the expense of others and down you both go. 

What's the only way out?

You both have to step forward and advance together--create a win-win--the balance and fairness is maintained and both move closer to each other and the center of things. 

Climbing the ladder is really a balancing act with others you work with.

I tell people at work who get into it with each other, "listen, what's more important winning the petty argument OR building the relationship with the other folks who presumably you'll be working with for a long time to come?"

You may be able to talk or strong arm your way into getting what you want now, but do lasting damage to the relationship. 

Unless, it's a matter of right and wrong, make your best argument, but then be willing to compromise, especially if it means better teamwork and success in the longer scheme of things. 

Being task/goal-oriented is great, but drop the ball on being people-oriented and it's all be a big bust. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy  Blumenthal)

A Delicate Balance

@Manna Food Center

Today we volunteered at Manna Food Center.

"Fighting hunger and feeding hope in Montgomery County."

There were huge bins of food that had been donated and collected from various organizations and charitable people.

A group of us from the synagogue, Magen David, met at the center.

We checked the dates on each item to ensure the food was not expired and still good to eat. 

We sorted the food by type into different boxes, crates, and shelves. 

There was areas for cans, pastas, cereals, pantry items, and more. 

The area that had the most stuff when we were done sorting...you guessed it--the junk food like cookies and chocolate--sort of unfortunate, but probably a comment on our times for what people actually buy and eat (despite all the calls for healthier eating and living).

There was one area specifically where we placed food for kids who don't have enough food for the weekends (when they don't have the school lunch program etc.), and they come on Fridays and fill their backpacks with milk boxes, crackers, and other things they can easily take home with them.

This really made me think about the dire straits that some families are in and especially the impact on the children.

G-d, no one should go hungry, and it was nice to see that people donate and volunteer to help, but still why in such a rich country like ours is there still so much hunger and need? ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

@Manna Food Center

Live To Live or Live To Die?

In The New York Times today, David Brooks presents “two sets of virtues, the resume virtue and the eulogy virtue.”

The resume virtues are the skills you need to get ahead in the marketplace, and the eulogy virtues are “whether you were kind, brave, honest, or faithful.”

While we'd like to believe that most feel that being a decent human being is more important than how much money we earn, unfortunately our education and economic systems are geared far more toward the latter, where it's widely acknowledged that "money makes the world go round!”

In fact, many will often sacrifice the moral high ground for landing on a bigger, cushier hill of worldly possessions and pleasures. 

Interestingly enough, my daughter asked me last week, whether it is better to personally live a happy life but die with a horrible reputation or to live selflessly, struggling with life challenges, but be revered after you die?

To me the answer was simple--live, learn, and grow regardless of momentary personal happiness. Do what’s right, period--honor and chivalry is alive and well. 

But my daughter told me that over 90% of people polled chose their happiness in life as their #1 goal.

I suppose it's easy to say what's the point of leaving a legacy if you were not happy living your life every day, but I would counter with what's the point in chasing life's daily pleasures, if you were a bum and everyone knows it?

The point isn't even what people say about us when we are alive or dead, but rather that we know that we tried our best to live as decent, ethical human beings and that hopefully, we left the world a better place than when we got here.

Sure, there is no blessing in being poor or unhappy--but living purely to satisfy one's voracious materialistic appetite is just being a selfish little pig--come on admit it!

On your deathbed, will you wish you that in your life you had more money and status or that you had been a better, more giving human being? 

I say forget the resume and the eulogy, just think about what will really gives you peace of mind and inner happiness and it's more than any amount of money can buy or any seduction you can imagine.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Live To Live or Live To Die?

Oh, Change!

What an astute comic this is about change. 

"Who wants change?"  Everyone raises their hands enthusiastically.

"Who wants to change?" Everyone has their hands and eyes down. 

I suppose that is the difference between a nice lofty but esoteric concept, and something that actually impacts us and requires our attention, resources, and hard work. 

So what sounds good for the masses in a speech or article may sound entirely different when applied to the individual. 

Who me change?  No, that's someone else's problem!

- Global warming and environmental destruction--that's coming from China now.

- Russian aggression in Ukraine, Georgia, the Baltic States--it's a European issue.

- The Arab Spring with governments being overthrown and countries destabilizing into sectarian violence--that's for The Gulf States to worry about. 

- Higher taxes to pay for social entitlements--let the very rich pay for that.

- More security and surveillance for counter-terrorism initiatives--let's just surgically target the bad guys with those. 

Let's face it--we all have a lot on our plates already and we are suckers for a good talking to about some broadly-based, fantastical future that is better, happier, healthier, and more peaceful and prosperous.

But what do you have to give up or sacrifice for this future utopia or making progress towards it...ah, that's not a message we really want to get into now, is it?

Change...it's good for the next guy and gal; let me have my cake and eat it too. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to starecat.com)

Oh, Change!

Who Will Help?

This is an awesome video that has gone viral.

A social experiment with hidden camera filming of a homeless child freezing on the streets of Manhattan...

See the people just walking on by--completely ignoring or plain unaffected by the suffering taking place literally right next to them. 

Where is the compassion of the people?

Many are just rushing by, chatting away, and/or carrying fancy filled bags from nearby shopping excursions.

The bystanders walk past and practically over this boy's shivering body lying in ragged shirt, without a coat, and lying half inside a big black garbage bag on the street. 

I imagined G-d looking down on this extreme callousness of his creations ignoring the suffering of this boy and being quite upset. 

Perhaps, there are unfortunately so many people now homeless , hungry, and begging in the streets that our minds and hearts have simply learned to "tune it out."

The ending is really amazing...when the one person who comes over to care for the poor boy is a black homeless man--who ends up taking off his own coat and gives it to the child. 

May G-d open our eyes to the pain of our brethren and grant us compassionate hearts to sincerely care one for each other. ;-)

Who Will Help?

Can I Help You?

This was a beautiful story that I heard from a very senior colleague recently.

Years ago, when she started working, for whatever reason, it took many weeks for payroll to catch up and for your first check to arrive. 

In her case, she was notified that it would be something like 6 weeks before she would receive an actual paycheck.

Not a lot of good that does, when the mortgage comes due, the utility bill arrives in the mail, or you need to go shopping for groceries or medicine. 

What's interesting and inspiring here though is what this lady's boss did at that time. 

She recalled that when he heard that she would not be getting paid for so many weeks, he came to her and asked her if she needed any money in the meantime to hold her over--how could he help? 

He was willing to take his money and give it to her to help her through until her paycheck would arrive. 

WOW!!!

That is extremely powerful.

How many of you know a boss that would do that for you now or ever?

You see he was not only willing to step in and make some calls (which may or may not have helped anyway), but he was actually willing to pony up money from his own self/family (and which I understand he did not have a lot of either) and give it to her. 

This is caring. This is giving. This is selflessness. 

I am awed of people of this personal and moral character. 

These are people to emulate. 

There is a difference between a work environment that is purely work and get the job done, and those few and very special places still out there that have family values (and which at least try to think of you and treat you as part of some sort of an "extended family"). 

No work is not family...but decent people in any situation--in the office or on the Metro--can make a difference in someone else's life. 

To me this is a story worth retelling and reliving for others to benefit. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Can I Help You?

Comfort In Mourning

While sitting in mourning (Shiva) for my dad (as previously I did just last year for my mom), people come and say the ancient Jewish words of comfort:

"May the Almighty comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem!"

The experience of sitting Shiva is humbling, being in mourning, sitting on a low stool, unshaven, and with torn garb, and reciting the words of the Kaddish (mourners prayer) out loud. 

"...May He who makes peace in the high places, grant [in his mercy] peace upon us, and upon all Israel, Amen."

But more than anything, I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring from so many good people in the community. 

People have come to pray with me, tell me wonderful stories about my dad, and generally share with me in my mourning for him. 

I have been truly taken by the many people who have come both in good health, but also from people that were blind and with everything from broken arms to walking canes and to those who called thinking of me while they themselves are sick or even wheelchair-bound. 

People have shared their own stories of grief to let me know I wasn't alone, and they brought food so I definitely wouldn't be hungry. 

Others have told me how wonderful my dad was as a friend and in the community, how he made people smile and was always in good spirits (even perhaps when he had good reason not to be), and how he did so many good deeds (some that were known and many others that were not). 

I have been amazed how people stay not just for prayer services, but take the time to really talk to me, to give selflessly and generously, even from their own busy family and work lives and schedules. 

Some of the people I know from the community, some just knew my dad, but I realize how these good, giving people are really worth knowing as human beings--not because they were my dad's friends or gave to me at this time of mourning, but because they are truly spiritual people, who just desire to do some good in the world--like my dad who did this for others (and how he taught me all my life and especially as a child). 

I hope that this time of mourning is not just one of finding comfort and healing, but also a re-awakening of my own feelings for community, spirituality, and selflessness. 

I have much room for personal growth for myself, but also many role models around who have set the bar very high. Also, my dad has left some VERY big shoes for me to fill. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Comfort In Mourning

Shoes On the Dumpster

So I had a great new pair of sandals that I wore just 3-4 times, but they didn't fit right on me.

We wanted to give them to a poor person, but didn't want to just walk up to someone on the street and say, "Hey, do you need a pair of shoes?"

So down in Fort Lauderdale here there are plenty of needy people, and we decided to leave them prominently on a trash/recycle bin on the street where we were confident that someone in need would see them and take them.

We left the shoes at about 5:45 pm and went to the store for some errands, and literally by the time we circled back not half an hour later, the shoes were gone.

It is terrible to see people on the street in need of food, clean clothes, and just a pair of shoes. 

While it was rewarding to see that someone got these shoes, the fact that they were gone so quickly shows me clearly that there is still so much more that needs to be done.

Too much poverty, too much suffering...my daughter says "Dad, we can change things!"

I hope someway we can all make a difference and help all the people that are in need--those are some mighty big shoes we need to fill, but I pray in my heart that G-d will help us all succeed. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Shoes On the Dumpster

Homeless At Foggy Bottom

The homeless situation in Washington D.C. (as in other big cities in the U.S.) is horrible and tragic. 

The homeless person here is wrapped in a blanket trying to stay warm on her wheelchair. 

Further, her bucket, at her feet, for people to give is empty. 

The Thanksgiving holiday is this week, but where is the thanks and where is the giving?

Interesting...halfway down the block is GW Hospital and across the street behind this lady is a gorgeous, modern, brand new GW University engineering and science building (almost completed now). 

The haves, the have mores, and the have nots. 

Where are all the trillions of dollars of spending going..,that we can't feed, clothe, shelter, and educate our people. 

We need to do better as a society for providing care for the truly needy.

G-d is watching what we do and what we don't do.

Our test. and the test of our elected officials/leadership--will we/they stand up for those that can't? 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Homeless At Foggy Bottom

What Is The World Coming To?

This sign from a business on trendy Las Olas in Fort Lauderdale...for real.

Pay for the water you drink, the air you breath, and the doings you leave behind. 

Money makes the world go round, but what happened to love, friendship, and brotherhood. 

It only goes as far as the restroom apparently! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Is The World Coming To?

Charisma, MORE Than Skin Deep

Charisma is something that can make or break a career or life.

If you have it, people often flock to you--that means connections, networking, relationships, and support. 

If you don't have it, then kiss your effectiveness and associates goodbye. 

According to Elizabeth Holmes in the Wall Street Journal, charisma is about how you look, talk, prep, smile, and get feedback. 

At work, for example, Holmes focuses quite a bit on superficial outwardly things like "Look polished, wrinkle-free," "Make eye contact," "Master grace under fire," and more.

And while these are important, they are really also the more superficial of what you can do in term of primarily how you look and comport yourself on the surface. 

Holmes does point more substantive things you can do, like ask for honest feedback, so presumably you can improve yourself. 

But improvements in the skin deep is nice, but not the essence of charisma.

Yes, no one appreciates someone who comes into the room disheveled, smelly, and like a proverbial turd. 

But more important than how one looks, talks and carry's themselves outwardly is how they actually behave. 

Looks are superficial, and word are cheap, but what a person actually does shows what they are really all about as a human being. 

Yes, do you need to build confidence by being put together, of course you do.

But to really build respect, trust, influence, inspire, and lead, you need to be a mensch--a decent human being, grounded in virtuous beliefs, who shows they will do the right thing and act at all times with a core integrity.

Charisma means we genuinely care and help others--not that we focus on promoting ourselves by walking around as the high and mighty. 

In the end, your charisma, charm, gravitas, presence and effectiveness as a leader is much more about what you do then what you simply look like or spout out. 

Be genuinely kind, caring, and giving, and that is a presence that can be sincerely felt and not just ogled over. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Charisma, MORE Than Skin Deep

Service From Yourself

I was so proud this week to see some true customer service excellence from a colleague. 

Someone had run out of toner and they had put in a help desk ticket to get it replaced.  

In the meantime, there was a large order of toner on order, but it was still a day or two out from delivery.

So my colleague responsible for this area took his own toner out of his printer and gave it to the person who was out. 

I got a wonderful email thanking us for the unbelievable customer service. 

Honestly, there are other printers that the person could have used in the meantime, but this person went above and beyond to keep the customer working and happy. 

Great lesson in customer service and exemplary behavior here. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Service From Yourself