Inconsistent In Everything

This was a funny sign in the hiking store. 

I'm inconsistent, but not all the time

Now, that's perfection.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Inconsistent In Everything

Tips Jar

Sense of humor when it comes to asking for tips.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Tips Jar

Making Off With The Passover Buffet

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "Making Off With The Passover Buffet."

I see Chabad not only performing genuine good deeds, but also always b’simcha (in happiness) with a big smile, even generously letting others take the Passover buffet home with them. To me, this is truly a taste not just of a festive and kosher Passover, but of the times of Mashiach where rather than fighting over the scraps of food, there is so much plenty and caring that we can’t even give it all away.

(Credit Photo: Dossy Blumenthal)

Making Off With The Passover Buffet

Cut Off The Legs And Call Him Shorty

Who knew, it's actually a song by Louis Armstrong.

It comes after:

"Shave off my hair and call me baldy."

They don't make them like they used to.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cut Off The Legs And Call Him Shorty

Fabric Fabric Everywhere

Beautiful rolls of fabric!

Red, and pink, and blue, and green, and white, and black, and...

I'm outa breath. 

Can you imagine having to make these on a loom like in the olden days? 

Ah, not fun for sure. 

Maybe that's why some people "go commando."

Better to just kill a bear or something!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Fabric Fabric Everywhere

Most Popular Grocery Item

Okay and for the $1,000,000 fantasy prize, what do you think is the most popular product at this supermarket?  ;-)

(This is obviously not a real contest or prize!)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Most Popular Grocery Item

Kosher Chinese Food on Christmas

 

Favorite Jewish pass time on Christmas...

Chinese food. 

Why?

Because everything else is closed. 

And we get some good food satisfaction for the holidays!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy blumenthal)

Kosher Chinese Food on Christmas

Dog Riding On Luggage

This little service dog was hilarious. 

He stood, the whole time, on this lady's carry-on luggage as she rolled through the airport. 

Dog was happy with its tongue out and ears perched up as he was riding along to his/her flight. 

I wonder if people could stand on their luggage too and get through the airport quicker that way!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Dog Riding On Luggage

Shake It Up

This bartender knows how to shake things up! 

She can do one drink or two at a time! ;-)

(Credit Video: Andy Blumenthal)

Shake It Up

Short of Closet Space

So what do you do if you are short of closet space or if your wife throws you out of the house?

Of course, you hang your clothing on a tree!

Calvin Klein shirts too. 

I wonder what happens when the squirrels come out.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Short of Closet Space

Dog Likes Starbucks

Dog(s) like Starbucks coffee.

And people like (dog) biscuits.

What's the world coming to?  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Dog Likes Starbucks

Been There Done That

Funny bumper sticker:

Been There Wrecked That!

And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Been There Done That

Hatchet Halloweenie

That hatchet says it all. 

You know what they'll do to you if they catch you.

Mohel on steroids. 

Maybe that's what the big scare is on Halloweenie.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Hatchet Halloweenie

Xylophone in Park

Cool instrument.

Lousy musician.  ;-)

(Credit Video: Andy Blumenthal)

Xylophone in Park

Politically Incorrect Ointment

Couldn't believe that this was a real product in CVS.

Didn't think any legitimate product would actually be named "Butt Paste."

Can you imagine going up to the pharmacist and asking:

Do you have any butt paste?

Pharmacist: 

Oh yes, it's in Aisle 7. Do you want me to show you where it is?

Now, we're really going down a rabbit's hole! ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Politically Incorrect Ointment

Weight Discrepancy

Maybe a little weight discrepancy on this boat.

Net effect is similar to the Titanic.

What is that cute little dog make a poop like that?  

Sh*t flows downhill, as they say.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Weight Discrepancy

This Is The Way We Wash Our Clothes

(Credit Video: Andy Blumenthal)

This Is The Way We Wash Our Clothes

Taste Like Nothing

It's hot in the Florida sun, especially at the beach.

So, I was interested in ordering a cup of Thai bubble tea with Boba.

I ask the lady:

What does it taste like?

Lady answers:

The boba [taste] is like nothing!

I ask:

Can you put in a lot of boba?

She says:

Tea sweet, but no more boba.

I ask:

Why?

She tells me:

Because it's nothing.

I try again:

But if it's nothing, why can't you put in some more?

She says:

It's tapioca, but it taste like nothing and I can only put in a handful.

My final try:

Ok, give me some Thai tea with the boba in it.  

Lady:

Are you sure? It tastes like nothing.

Me: 

Yes, yes, yes.  I love boba with nothing taste, just make sure the tea is plenty sweet!   

Like my dear dad used to say: 

The food here is terrible, and on top of it the portions are too small!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Taste Like Nothing

In Case Of Emergency

In case of emergency...

Break glass and eat chocolate. 

Always keep a large Hershey's Chocolate around just in case! ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

In Case Of Emergency

Virtual Car Driving Into Garage

On the ramp into the garage is a cute wall mural of a car. 

With the wires, it's look like a plug-in electric vehicle. 

Go ahead, drive it on down.  

Good luck finding a spot. 

Take a ticket and stop to pay at the machine before you head out. 

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Virtual Car Driving Into Garage