Why Worry?

So I had an interesting conversation with a colleague, and they tell me their philosophy about worry, as follows:

Worrying is suffering twice!

I thought this was pretty smart. 

With worry, we suffer when we worry and then we suffer again if the thing we are worrying about actually comes to fruition. 

So in essence, we are doubling up on the suffering.

Yet, worry can be constructive if we use it to spur us to positive action such as in confronting and dealing with challenging situations. 

But when we worry just for the sake of worry because we can't control our anxiety and moreover, it actually may paralyze us with fear, then this is obviously a bad thing. 

Do I worry?

Sure do, but like my dad, I use worry to try and think out-of-the-box, to plan, to problem-solve, to figure out coping mechanisms etc. 

Worry is suffering for sure. 

However, if we can channel the worry to positive impact, then the worry can be worth the pain it inflicts on us. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Why Worry?

Vampire Slayer

So can you believe they actually have this?

It's a vampire killing kit that was really for sale in the 19th century. 

These kits were developed and sold by entrepreneur, Professor Ernst Blomberg.

People were afraid of the blood-sucking beasts, especially in Eastern Europe. 

And so when they traveled, they came prepared.

- Dagger with a ghoulish-looking skeleton for a handle

- Pistol along with several silver bullets

- Wooden stake to thrust into its evil heart

- Cross and Holy Water (or perhaps a Star of David for the Jewish version of the kit) to repel them

Of course, we don't have any evil bloodsucking creatures these days, do we? 

I have a feeling that a lot of people would like to have a kit like this for self-defense to keep the 21st-century version of these bad actors away. 

You think the NRA would be interested in making something like this. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Vampire Slayer

Politics On A Cow

I saw this "Antifa" (Anti-Fascist) symbol on this painting of a cow in Washington, D.C. 

As a child of Holocaust survivors, I certainly understand and can even sympathize with the view of the anti-fascist movement--certainly, we should all unequivocally appreciate, love, and want to protect freedom and human rights!

However, I think throwing around labels like fascist, perhaps where it is more about political disagreements doesn't help to identify the really bad actors out there in the world and what they can and even would like to do to harm all of us. 

Anyway, I am pretty sure that this cow is no fascist.

I would also like to say that the red and black with this symbol here is way too close to looking like how the genocidal Nazi's themselves portrayed the dreaded and infamous swastika in red and black.  

It would be great if we use symbols and labels carefully, and let the cows go back to being cows. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Politics On A Cow

Improv, Let's Do it

What an incredible experience today. 

We went to the Atlas Theater in Washington, D.C. and did Improv (no script). 

For a Jewish kid from the Bronx, this was not something I was used to, but I loved it. 

- Say your name and an animal with the same first letter and act it out.

- Say something you love or hate and everyone gravitates on the stage towards or from it based on whether they agree.

- Repeat a word and action from someone else and pass it on.

- Act out an action that someone else calls out after yelling "Let's do it!" 

- As a group, answer a question from the audience, by each person adding a word to the aggregated answer. 

- Give your neighbor a pretend object and after they identify what they think it is and thank you for it, you explain why you gave it to them.

- Stand on an emotion (happy, sad, angry, scared) and act out a scene with someone else rotating through the feelings.

- Pretend you're a hitchhiker and infest the emotion with everyone else in the car.

I was really amazed at how good so many people were with doing these exercises. 

And I felt it was so freeing to be doing it too. 

I feel like I really learned a lot about being comfortable with yourself and just letting your inhibitions go and even though it was scary and hard, I would like to do this again. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Improv, Let's Do it

When People Fear You, You're Not A Leader

As the fortune cookie I came across yesterday says:

"Leadership is action, not position."

And actions demonstrate a good or evil heart.

When everyone hates a leader is that a "leader?"

- Fear is not leadership.

- Bullying is not leadership. 

- Corruption is not leadership. 

Leadership is:

- Showing others what is right and being a good influence. 

- Rolling up your sleeves and doing the hard work alongside everyone else. 

- Helping others to achieve their potential. 

- When others see you as a leader based on your integrity of purpose and actions. 

How we treat others is as true a test of leadership as of where we want to go and how we want to get there. 

G-d sees everything man (leader or not) does, and only He in Heaven is the Leader of Leaders and the King of Kings.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

When People Fear You, You're Not A Leader

Change Everybody Loves To Hate

I thought this saying from a colleague was really astute.

"Everybody hates the status quo 

but nobody wants to change."

How's that for a conundrum. 

The question is are we more unhappy with the dysfunctional way things are or are we more afraid to make the necessary changes in our life?

I think that when the pain and dysfunction of the status quo are greater than the fear and inconvenience of changing, only then will people quite resisting and adapt to the new reality. 

Welcome to change!  ;-)

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

Change Everybody Loves To Hate

The Devil Wolf Attack

So I had one of the scariest dreams that I've ever experienced--and it is a true story from just last evening. 

It was so completely real, I can't even tell you.

There was a devil wolf that attacked me from the the back and literally jumped on me. 

It's claws were wrapped around my neck and I could tell that with any movement whatsoever, they would immediately slice and sever my arteries completely.

His huge jaws were at the backside of my head, it's hot breath searing my flesh, and his sharp gnawing teeth were ready at any moment to snap into my neck. 

His full weight, incredible strength, and evil presence were heavy on me and ripping into my back and shoulders. 

It was clear how close I was to the very end of it all. 

The pure evil of this devil wolf being and the ferociousness of the attack was the most fearsome that I could ever imagine. 

What happened next I will never tell anyone, except that I am alive to tell the story.

But this experience of undeniable and terrible evil so close and foreboding has left me a different person forever. 

There are forces of true evil out there--for sure--and we must never let our guard down for a second. 

But as Rabbi Nachman says, it is a narrow bridge, but with the good of G-d, we must never fear at all. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Efraim Stochter)

The Devil Wolf Attack

Faith Has To Win Over Worry

Anxiety is worry and fear on steroids.

Some people have separation anxiety.

Others have social anxiety.

And then there is good 'ol generalized anxiety.

It was fascinating-scary to learn that nearly 1 in 3 will have an anxiety disorder before the age of 18.

Despite all the abundance, affluence, advancement and technological progress, people are nevertheless more fearful about their present and futures. 

Perhaps like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, when people weren't able to satisfy their most basics physiological and safety needs, they didn't know better to worry about everything else like whether they were truly loved, integrated, on the right track in life and fulfilled.  

These days, we have more money, time, and information to know that there is plenty to be anxious about. 

We know the most horrible stories of trauma, illness, death, corruption, disaster, terror, and war--it's plastered on the news and Internet 24/7/365.

Moreover, our "friends" and connections are blabbing about it on the social networks day-in and -out.

We are aware of our mistakes and foibles in real time as feedback is given and received with both likes as well as open criticism, marginalization, and alienation at every turn we take.

You have to ask yourself--is it meant to help anyone or to degrade and destroy the others, the opposition, the ones we don't like anymore. 

It's not just trolls that can make your life miserable, but everyone from your bosses to your peers and social circle who give you pause with continuous reaction and footnote--much of it driven by alternative facts and fake other world self-serving reality.

Perhaps yesterday you were a genius and on top of the world, but then all of a sudden you're low-life garbage.

Your self-worth and future are measured by likes and dislikes, connections and reactions by people who are driven by their own agendas, power, and biases. 

It's not just local either. 

North Korea and Iran are tweeting about destroying the world and their latest rocket launches and WMD development. 

Tomorrow maybe the end of one or of many. 

There is truly plenty to worry about in society driven by selfishness, materialism, faithlessness and a moral vacuum where truly anything goes. 

Selflessness, meaning, morality, and faith have to win over all the reasons to be anxious. 

We know too much about the bad every day, and this can only be overcome by anchoring ourselves in the good. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Faith Has To Win Over Worry

What Do You Do With Fear?

Thought this was a really good perspective on fear.

"You have two options:

Forget Everything And Run

Or

Face Everything And Rise"

It the old fight or flight!

- Running may be good when you can avoid a devastating fight and get yourself and your loved one to safety.

- But sometimes you don't have that option and you have to "fight the good fight" and overcome the devils you face. 

Everyone is afraid of something(s) and/or somebodies. 

If someone isn't afraid then they are brain dead!

Strengthen yourselves, ready yourselves, and pray. 

What do you fear and how will you face it? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Do You Do With Fear?

A Future Beyond Fear

This is my spin on a Jack Canfield saying, but I like it this way:

"The future is on the other side of fear."

Sometimes we feel hemmed in or torn down by life.

And there is plenty of fear of failure and not being able to do what we need to do. 

But the only way to get there is to get past the fear!

You need to look straight ahead into the future of what you want. 

And you need to overcome your worst fear...that you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're not strong enough, and you're not beautiful enough.

...and the gnawing feeling inside that you can't do it.

This is precisely when you need to center yourself, strengthen yourself, and pray for G-d's help.

Whether to get over it, under it, or through it. 

The future--your future--is on the other side of that fear--that fear that is holding you back.

No, you're not stupid, ugly, weak, or unworthy.

Yes, you're a child of the G-d on the most high. 

So you can reach deep and reach high to accomplish your mission in life. 

You can truly leap over mountains and even reach for the stars. 

No, it's not beyond you.

It's right in front of you.

Take that deep breath, clench your fist, gird you sword, and ready yourself in every way.

The fear holding you back is yours to conquer. 

And the future is yours to be had. ;-)

(Inspired by my wife, Dannielle Blumenthal)

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

A Future Beyond Fear

Mechanisms for Coping With Stress

Just reflecting on the day off today on helpful ways for being resilient and coping with day-to-day stress. 

1. Teamwork - Remember you're not alone and you can rely on your colleagues/teammates at work and your family/friends at home to work with you, help you, and also be a support. Together, when you distribute the weight, the load is lighter and more manageable for everyone doing the lifting! 

2. Work-Life Balance - Listen, all work and no play is good for no one. When you create a healthy balance in your own life--professional, emotional, intellectual, social, physical, and spiritual--then you will be more balanced, holistic, and better able to manage the ups and downs in any one or more areas of your life. The whole of you is larger than the sum of the parts!

3. Perspective - You've got to maintain a healthy perspective and attitude in life. All is not doom and gloom. Not every setback is catastrophic. There is good and bad in everything. And we need to use the challenges in life as learning and growth opportunities. Also, remember that there are many others in even worse shoes than us and their fortitude and seeing it through can be an inspiration to us. At the end of the day, look at the bright side--we all have so much to be grateful for, and every moment of life is a blessing!

4. Sense of Humor - When all else fails, a sense of humor can sometimes be the savings grace of the moment. When you're looking out over the abyss and you are seeing things dark and maybe quite ugly...perhaps, you can find in yourself, in others, or from a moment in time, something ridiculous or absurdly funny to think back on and laugh to yourself a good, strong, and healthy laugh!

5. Faith - No matter what...G-d is always there for you. Always watching. Always guiding. Always caring and loving you. You can have faith that whatever He does for you is ultimately for your best. The G-d of your forefathers/mothers, the G-d who created you, the G-d who sustains you every moment of every day will not abandon you in your time of need. If you have faith, He will protect and save you and after your amazing life's journey eventually comes to an end, He will bring you home to reunite with Him!

On my Bar-Mitzvah, now many years ago, my father gave a speech and he said to me from the prayers, be strong and remember:

"The L-rd is with me, I will not fear!" (or in Hebrew "Adonai li v'lo ira")

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Mechanisms for Coping With Stress

G-d Holds All The Keys

So what is there to fear in this world. 

Whatever happens, happens. 

And G-d is the master over it all. 

He holds all the keys. 

G-d opens doors. 

When we are being challenged, look toward the Heavens. 

There is a door there somewhere. 

What can ANY man do to us?

When G-d reigns over ALL men.

In G-d, there is salvation and mercy. 

G-d will watch over His people.

And He will bless them in peace! ;-)

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

G-d Holds All The Keys

Manage The Crisis and Don't Exploit It

So I heard an interesting thought on crisis management:

"Never let a good crisis go to waste!"

Isn't that frequently how politicians and lobbyists use the crisis, rather than deal with it. 

In certain cases, some have even been known to actually create the crisis for their ends!

Whether it's some politicians calling for strict gun control when there is a mass shooting (perhaps infringing on other reasonable 2nd amendment rights) or it's right to life advocates demanding an end to funding for planned parenthood when some bad people are caught selling fetal body parts and so on and so on.

Maybe these things are the right thing to do--in which case, a very bad event can end up being an impetus for much needed change and thus, can facilitate in transforming society and from that perspective, be a good thing!

But is the change really and necessarily the right thing to do...or is the crisis de jure just an excuse to get what some people wanted all  along.

- Use (exploit) the crisis.

- Maximize the momentum from the crisis.

- Leverage the emotions from the crisis.

- Promptly turn the tables on the issue.

- Leave all compromise and negotiation aside, and seize the moment.

The lesson here is not to just react, because a sudden and impulsive decision may end up being an overreaction and cause negative unintended consequences down the road.

The pendulum tends to shift and swing widely in both directions--neither extreme is good.

Instead well thought policy, use of common sense, maintaining reasonableness, looking at all sides, and a general middle of the road approach usually yields the best results for the most people.

Crisis management should be just that--managing the crisis; the policy should be fully reasoned both before and after. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Manage The Crisis and Don't Exploit It

Cyclops Looking Eye

What's the fascination with the mythical cyclops and the single eye in the center of the forehead?

If the eye represents seeing and knowing then aren't we better off with two or even a dozen eyes to see with?

See more, know more, do more.

How about eyes in the back of the head?

Or all around the head in a cool circle--like a majestic crown of sight all around you.

Seeing is miraculous.

The beauty of the world--people, nature, and the stars above. 

Seeing is function.

Being able to navigate, get around, and do things with relative ease. 

Seeing is safety.

Sensing path from obstacle and friend from foe. 

It's frightening to think of not having vision--what a challenge!

One old lady is possibly legally blind, but still serves as a notary public--how does she do that?

Eyes themselves are beautiful--brown and blue and hazel, and soft and deep and mesmerizing. 

Looking into someone's eyes, have you ever seen their soul. 

Show me thy ways oh L-rd and let me learn and grow in the world you've created for us--seeing the material and spiritual world we're enveloped in. 

I see the beauty, necessity, and lessons you have for me. 

However many eyes, seeing is believing in it all. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cyclops Looking Eye

Screwing The American Worker

So someone came to me today complaining that their company was messing with them. 

The employee was earning above minimum wage after several years in their line of work

And now their company wants to cut their salary claiming tight budgets. 

But get this:

- Instead of speaking with the employee, they send the employee a text message telling them they are going to cut their salary, and when the employee tries to call them, they don't even pick up the phone or call back. 

- The company decides unilaterally that they will cut the employee salary by $1.50 an hour or a whopping 12.5% to this person!

- And this company is going to actually pay the employee below minimum wage!

Apparently, this company hires a lot of immigrants who don't know the law and are only here for a short time, so this company disgustingly "gets away with it!"

But this employee is an American citizen and he is rightfully furious--as we all should be.

So Montgomery County, Maryland--a very liberal county--just raised the minimum wage to $11.50 effective July 1. 

Do you know what that comes out to at 40 hours per week--less than $24,000 annually.

That's less than the poverty level for a typical family of four. 

Imagine what this person has left after taxes and carfare to get to work--not much!

I have gotten to know this person and they are a good, decent, hardworking human being, and they have suffered in their lifetime--why do they need to be treated like this and forced to earn even LESS THAN minimum wage. 

They are worried that if they say anything then they will be even worse off--they don't want to be seen as trouble. 

How many times does this or a similar situation happen to innocent workers where they are mistreated, taken advantage of, abused, harassed, or even worse--but because they need the job and the money they are afraid to say or do anything to protect themselves.

We are the United States of America--one of the wealthiest and most powerful nations on Earth--is this how we treat our citizens?

People deserve to work and earn a decent days pay for a honest days work--a genuine living wage!

They also deserve core worker benefits like health care and a decent retirement. 

And they should be able to do their work free from workplace harassment and abuse. 

There must be not only fundamental laws that protect people, but also the enforcement mechanisms to make it really work. 

This gets to the heart of America--do we still have one? 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Screwing The American Worker

Dirty Laundry Usually Doesn't Get Aired

The way to fix problems is to first identify and acknowledge them.

Only then can you focus on them, commit to them, really address them, and make things better.

The BIG problem though is fear. 

Usually dirty laundry doesn't get so easily aired. 

Generally, people don't want trouble. 

"The nail that sticks up gets hammered down."

And who wants to be the one to get hammered flat and for of all things, doing the right thing?

We don't encourage transparency.

And we certainly don't reward transparency. 

As I once overheard:

"Uh, you better keep it in the family!"

So things get kept in the family, and the big burly husband is a drunkard bum and the wife is abused and the kids are abused, and the sh*t goes on. 

Shhh...

Open door policies, hotlines, and other mechanisms are helpful, but don't go far enough. 

Bosses need to ask point blank and with full and honest assurance of confidentiality and non-attribution or retribution:

"Tell me what's really going on here."

When there is smoke, there is fire, and where there is skunk stink, there is skunk.

The only way to know the truth and make a difference is to get to the truth.

In life, is anyone willing to "do the dirty" and finally get to clean? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Dirty Laundry Usually Doesn't Get Aired

Face The Fear

I have to give my wife credit. 

She said something to me the other day that was really profound and had a deep impact on me. 

Something bad had happened and honestly, it was a truly frightening situation.

At first, it seemed like one of those negative surprises in life that brings bad news and you are at first sort of shocked. 

As things progress though and the news unfortunately doesn't get better, but in fact gets worse, the shock turns to fear and maybe even panic. 

Oh shit, what do I do now?

Turn this way..no good. 

Turn that way...no good.

Retreat...not an option.

So I speak to my wife, and at first she says:

"Just look away."

But I can't look away...I can't ignore a problem...my instinct is that I have to plan for it, deal with it, solve it. 

I go back to my wife, and she says to me:

"Face the fear, and walk through it."

And I had to stop in my tracks at that. 

She was right--there is no use being fearful or worrying--I would face it and walk through it, and come out the other side better for it. 

That was some of the best advice anyone I think has ever given to me. 

Got to be strong, have courage, face the challenges in life, and "walk through it!" 

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. 

Have to have emunah (faith), and realize it's just a test. 

And the Almighty G-d is my shield and protector. 

It's a test, but I can pass it with G-d's help, and everything will be alright. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Face The Fear

Nuke Fear Turning To Action?

What sane person would not be afraid of the incredibly destructive power of nukes (and other weapons of mass destruction)?

Currently, there are about 15,000 nukes either stockpiled or poised to strike around the world. 

Enough deadly weapons to kill the entire planet!

After a frightening series of 5 nukes tests since 2006 plus 18 technologically progressive ballistic missiles tests over the last 6 months, things are escalating after new sanctions imposed to try to contain the threat--with North Korea rattling it's nuclear arsenal with a shrill threat of attack moving to "physical action" and the U.S. shooting back "fire and fury," 

As to further North Korean mad progress, it was reported that they are developing a powerful new H-bomb with immense destructive power, especially towards our density killing fields:

- If such a weapon would strike, G-d forbid, Washington D.C., it could mean 500,000 dead and another 900,000 injured--let alone what this would mean in terms of a destructive decapitation to the very functioning and continuity of our government and country. 

- Even worse fatalities would occur should it strike our financial capital, New York City, with estimates of 1.7 million dead. 

Hence, the news that this is no joking matter anymore (as if it really ever was). 

Fears typically first get expressed in rhetoric, but then with greater and ever potent means for them to become reality, the risks increase for them to actually make the horrific leap. 

What happens next with the ever menacing dangers from rogue Axis of Evil nations, North Korea and Iran--and will we ever feel and be safe again, absent any meaningful social progress while they continue to absolutely and speedily advance their ever more deadly weapons programs and the means to deliver them, first class. ;-0

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Nuke Fear Turning To Action?

The Meaning of Silence

Is silence a good thing or a bad thing--what does it really mean?

On the plus or neutral side:

Silence can mean modesty and humility--you withhold speaking out of turn or having a big mouth; you recognize that you don't know everything and what you do know is not intended to put down or shame others. 

Silence can means secrets and privacy--you don't say everything; you treat information properly based on need to know and propriety of sharing. 

Silence can mean good situational judgement--that you know prudently when to let others have their say, or when your opinion isn't really welcome, or when it's best to just stay below the radar. 

Silence can mean you simply don't know--and it's something you need to listen and learn more about rather than speak; it's why we're told that we have two ears and one mouth.

Silence can mean that maybe you don't care about something--why get fired up or "waste your breath" on it when it's just not your thing.

When can it be a negative:

There was a sign in the local school window that silence means (wrongful) acceptance; that is also something I learned in in the Talmud in yeshiva; if you see something wrong and don't say or do something, you are (partially) responsible.

Silence can mean fear--perhaps you don't accept something, but you're afraid to speak truth or morality to power; you sit silently cowering, when you should stand up tall and speak out. 

Silence may also mean shame--you've done something wrong or don't want others to know something that could make you look bad or put you in jeopardy. 

Silence can mean you are hiding something--it can be that you don't trust or aren't trustful; silence at a time when you need to answer or respond can result in suspicion about why you are "holding back," instead of being forthcoming and truthful.

When to talk and when to remain silent? 

Certainly, "you have the right to remain silent."

We need to use words with care and intent--to always seek to help and not to hurt. 

Words are so potent--the mouth is perhaps the strongest part of the human body, just like the pen is mightier than the sword. 

That's why I pray that G-d put the "right words" in my mouth--to be constructive, positive, effective and impactful--to do good as much as possible with words and with silence. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Meaning of Silence

I Doth Fear

Innocent Shakespeare in the Park or violent assassination incitement of the President of the United States? 

Kathy Griffin holding up a severed head of the President.

Stephen Colbert's tirade and obscenities.

And the list goes on and on...

Is this resistance or are things perhaps going too far for political discourse? 

Whatever your views, does the rhetoric need to get any hotter or more violent in this country. 

Cooler heads and compromise need to prevail for anything positive to come from all this.

Is it not still possible to unite under the shared values of freedom, human rights, and democracy that we all presumably hold dear and use these to advance our common cause? 

At least twice now protesters have stormed the Shakespearean stage calling the incitement as an evil portrayal reminiscent of those like Nazi Propaganda Minister, Goebbels (may his name and memory be erased).

The other side pretends nothing is going on and says, but it's only Shakespeare. 

Demonstrating against the actors' nightly violent portraying (and perhaps undisguised wishing for) the killing of the President, the plays' protesters are themselves summarily dragged off by security.

Nothing seems to stop the shrill words, calls for violence, and violence itself. 

Just last week, we had the unreal and gross shooting of Congressman Whip, Steve Scalise, at an early morning baseball practice with his colleagues. 

For those who care to glimpse down the road, what happens from here as we seem to forget who we are as people and as a nation, and we let extremists take over the agenda.

I doth fear (a little Shakespeare myself here) that the problem with extremism and violence is that it can too easily beget more extremism and violence.

Incessant name-calling, an avalanche of punches by the media, hostility on college campuses towards free speech, SNL just poking fun (is this really so funny anymore), an inciting Shakespearean play, plus marches, protests, and then taking things too far.

Like the closing in a classic Shakespearean tragedy...should we all not fear how this will end? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal) 

I Doth Fear