Showing posts with label Modesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Modesty. Show all posts

January 8, 2023

Pop Culture Just Doesn't "Get" Us

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "Pop Culture Just Doesn't 'Get' Us."

Of course, when Jews are hypocrites, act holier than thou, or do bad things, they give the rest of us a bad name, and this can breed not only confusion about Jews but also, in the extreme, hate and anti-Semitism. One Chabad Rabbi said today that the Rebbe hardly ever used the word anti-Semitism or spoke of it; instead, he focused on the idea that Jews should do good and perform acts of G-dliness and righteousness in the world.

I believe we can all agree that Jews behave differently; sometimes they do good, sometimes they don't, but regardless, we're a little bit of a mystery to many non-Jews, which is sometimes shrouded in a large dose of fiction and conspiracy. For many, I put it this way: they still can't understand why the fiddler was ever playing on the roof to begin with.

(Credit Photo: ericbarns via https://pixabay.com/photos/dancing-clubbing-dancers-nightclub-206740/)
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December 30, 2022

When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction."

Let’s face it, even for those in society who are proponents of pornography, not everyone would admit it if they had an addiction like that. A porn addiction invokes all sorts of social fears and anxieties about “perverts, rapists, and sexual offenders.” In fact, in a Youtube video, The Blessing of Porn Addiction, featuring Beny Schonfeld, as he walks into a recovery meeting, he describes fearing the other people he will meet there and asks, “Is that who I am?”

People in our communities are going through all sorts of problems and addictions. Beny’s message is not to suffer in silence: “If you feel ashamed about what you’re doing, speak up and ask for help.”

(Credit Photo by Charcoal Soul via Flickr Creative Commons: https://flic.kr/p/7ZxCPG)
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September 23, 2020

Nice Country Hats

Men and women of many religions cover their hair for modesty.

On display were some nice, colorful, country-style hats for women.   

Head coverings in church, mosque or synagogue, are a way to express modesty and humbleness before G-d. 

Also, we cover our hair/head, more generally, to remember that G-d is above us, watching and guiding us always. 

Modest, humble, and G-d fearinga hat is a potent symbol of faith.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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January 6, 2020

Story About Dressing Modestly

One of my good friends told me a funny story.

The friend of his daughter was wearing one of those cropped shirts which expose the belly.

She said that her dad told her to throw a party for her clothes, so that her shirt could meet her shorts.

I guess all dads worry about the modesty of their daughters.

This was a good tznius story that hammers home the point and is also pretty funny. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 16, 2019

Longest Hair

This woman had the longest hair I have ever seen. 

No, not to the shoulders, not to the mid-back, not even to the tush. 

This went almost all the way to the floor. 

It reminded me more of a maim on a horse than of the typical hairdo of a person. 

Anyway, this must be nasty to take care and keep clean. 

Also, can't imagine having that much hair pulling on my head all the time.  

In Judaism, we say that hair is the crown of a person and it is something that especially women keep modestly when married.

So while hair is nice and beautiful, you can definitely have too much of even a good thing.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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June 27, 2017

The Meaning of Silence

Is silence a good thing or a bad thing--what does it really mean?

On the plus or neutral side:

Silence can mean modesty and humility--you withhold speaking out of turn or having a big mouth; you recognize that you don't know everything and what you do know is not intended to put down or shame others. 

Silence can means secrets and privacy--you don't say everything; you treat information properly based on need to know and propriety of sharing. 

Silence can mean good situational judgement--that you know prudently when to let others have their say, or when your opinion isn't really welcome, or when it's best to just stay below the radar. 

Silence can mean you simply don't know--and it's something you need to listen and learn more about rather than speak; it's why we're told that we have two ears and one mouth.

Silence can mean that maybe you don't care about something--why get fired up or "waste your breath" on it when it's just not your thing.

When can it be a negative:

There was a sign in the local school window that silence means (wrongful) acceptance; that is also something I learned in in the Talmud in yeshiva; if you see something wrong and don't say or do something, you are (partially) responsible.

Silence can mean fear--perhaps you don't accept something, but you're afraid to speak truth or morality to power; you sit silently cowering, when you should stand up tall and speak out. 

Silence may also mean shame--you've done something wrong or don't want others to know something that could make you look bad or put you in jeopardy. 

Silence can mean you are hiding something--it can be that you don't trust or aren't trustful; silence at a time when you need to answer or respond can result in suspicion about why you are "holding back," instead of being forthcoming and truthful.

When to talk and when to remain silent? 

Certainly, "you have the right to remain silent."

We need to use words with care and intent--to always seek to help and not to hurt. 

Words are so potent--the mouth is perhaps the strongest part of the human body, just like the pen is mightier than the sword. 

That's why I pray that G-d put the "right words" in my mouth--to be constructive, positive, effective and impactful--to do good as much as possible with words and with silence. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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March 16, 2017

Sexuality Sells Sometimes

So this was the entranceway to a store in Florida. 

As you can see, the center mannequin is set up sitting in not a very modest way for a lady. 

And worse, there is a little boy mannequin situated right next to her. 

It was funny to see people stop to look at this fake sexual scene.

But no amount of sexuality could sell the junk that the store was pushing. 

So strutting your stuff or showing a little skin--or in this case hard plastic--may get the customer's attention or even in the store.

However, it certainly doesn't close the deal, although something else here would be better off shut or as my mother-in-law says, "close your yap!" ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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February 12, 2017

Tznius Police

So there is an important concept in Judaism as well as other religions of modesty for the sexes. 

This means appropriately covering up in dress and acting modestly. 

In Hebrew, we call it Tznius!

As kids, I remember the kids used to sing, "Tznius, don't show you knee-ius."

It seems like these days, "everything goes," where extreme sexuality in public and showing off is the rage. 

But as I remember the older generation saying, "Maybe some things are better left to the imagination."

That doesn't mean we need to be a bunch of prudes--inhibit or prohibit people from being who they are. 

Freedom means everyone is allowed and has a fundamental right to self-expression. 

But also, people that want to show more restraint and modesty can do that too. 

Perhaps, sometimes things in our society can get a little too superficial, where like and love is only skin deep. 

We forget the inner person and the soul in lieu of momentary pleasures of the flesh. 

I don't think we need the tznius police to come out and tell us what to do, but rather that we need to be consider people inside and out for what and who they really are. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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December 25, 2016

Improving The Lot and Lives Of Women


I saw this women dancing openly on top of this boat moored to the docks in Florida. 

I don't know why she was doing this (simply entertainment?) and whether this was completely out of her free choice (or at all coerced), especially while these 2 guys on board apparently leered and even recorded her.

But it made me think that we definitely need to better respect and improve the lot and lives of women in society. 

Yes, beauty is something to be appreciated, but there is also something to be said for modesty and showing proper respect.

Further, while people can be physically attractive, they are not just objects, but rather complex, thoughtful, and productive wonderful human beings.

Each person is a whole world and they bring that to the table of life.

There is much to admire, but women (and men) need to provided every opportunity to break through the glass ceiling and not just dance on it. ;-)

(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)
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November 21, 2016

You Can Take This Niqab And...

So here is the quote of the day (compliments of the Wall Street Journal)...

From a woman fleeing the inhumane treatment in Mosul by ISIS religious terrorists:


"I want to take this niqab and stuff it down the throat of ISIS."

I've now read over and over again how one of the first things the women do, who get away from these ruthless fanatics, is to remove their confining "religious"-mandated garb that covers them so fully and put on normal clothes and be free human beings again.

While I certainly and highly respect women who freely and modestly cover up--especially in marriage--it is abhorrent to violently force women to dress a certain way or make them in any way lessor than or subservient to men. 

The women under ISIS are taught to be ashamed, when they have nothing to be ashamed about!

ISIS and these other radical Islamists that force their distorted version of religion on others goes like this when it comes to women:

"It is permitted to buy her, sell her, and give her away as a gift. They are just a possession and you can do whatever you want with them."  In their FAQS, they even ask, "Can I have sex with a slave who hasn't reached puberty?"

Yet, while they are having sex with abducted pubescent and pre-pubescent girls, they force women to stay at home, and they are not allowed to go out unless accompanied by a man (forget education, working, driving or traveling). 

Even at home, "Woman are cautioned to stay away from rooftops, balconies, and windows so they wouldn't be seen by outsiders."

And should a women be accused of sex outside of marriage--even when the women are the ones forcibly (gang) raped--they are the ones subject to death by public stoning for their being licentious. 

Are these "religious" fanatics with guns so weak that they fear sexual temptation more than they trust in the bonds of family, personal righteousness, and the ability of people to freely choose right from wrong?

Imagine...as they abduct and enslave women and children, rape them, sell them, and force them into bogus marriages, starve and torture them, these people actually think they are religious. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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October 5, 2016

A Matter Of Hair

I saw these ladies crossing the street in downtown DC.

The standout here was obviously the hair!

The girl on the left had Barbie pink hair. 

The one on the right had blond dyed hair with the roots showing. 

And the lady in the middle had two-tone hair, with brown on one side and blond on the other (now that was really different). 

This reminded me of the hippies' hairstyle in terms of the perhaps rebellious nature of the style. 

In Judaism, I remember learning that hair is like the crown on a person's head, and for modesty, the custom is for married women to cover their beautiful hair--it is only something that gets shown/shared with her husband as part of their intimacy. 

Hair can say a lot, especially if you are fortunate enough to still have some (lol). 

It can be uncombed and messy like a mad professor's, finely brushed and cared for like Trump's, or even transplanted to cover the onset of unwanted bald spots.

Like a horse's or lion's mane, hair frame's a person and can make the plain or even unsightly, more attractive and desirable; at the same time, if not properly cared for and groomed, it can make a person look disheveled and even crazy.

Of course, hair is just what tops off the person and is only skin deep, so looks (including hair) can be defining or oh, so deceiving.

Hair or hairless, groomed or gross--it's a reflection and a statement of how we're looking to each other. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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August 25, 2016

Modesty And Privacy Of Body and Information

So modesty and privacy is very important in terms of propriety and security.

Both are intimately connected. 

Already as children, we learn not to show or talk about our "privates" to others. 

And as adults, we understand that there are certain things about ourselves that we don't just talk about or divulge to others indiscriminately. 

Not being discrete with these and showing either your private parts or your personal information can get you in a load of trouble by giving others the opportunity to take undue advantage of you. 

Both open you up to be ridiculed or even raped of your person or information identity. 

That which is yours to use with others in propriety is instead disclosed for taking out from your control and for use against you. 

Security demands modesty of body and of information, and if not taken seriously, then no amount of lame covering will keep that which is private from public consumption. ;-)
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August 19, 2016

Some Nice Hats For Shabbat

Just some fashion festive before Shabbat.

Suggestions for some nice hats for Jewish ladies who cover their hair in synagogue or out. 

I don't think these were designed for that purpose, but it just made me think that it does the trick.

Modesty before G-d and for the sanctification of marriage. 

It's a nice Jewish custom that seems holy and beautiful. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 26, 2016

How Men And Women Sit

This was funny-sad on the train in Washington, D.C. 

This couple--a man and women--are sitting together. 

The man (on the right) is completely sprawling out.

The women (on the left) is squishing almost off the seat.

So what is it with men--a testosterone, macho thing--exerting sexuality, power, and dominance--or it is just carelessness and callousness in how to treat women?

For women--is it reticence and modesty or are they accepting being mistreated or even abused? 

People's weight aside, it seems that men and women should each be given their own and equal space on the Metro or otherwise in life. 

This presumed gender power struggle is not a good thing--love should be equal in feeling, giving, and in time, and space. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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January 4, 2016

A Person's Beauty

I took this photo yesterday of a mannequin that shows off her hair. 

It's amazing what hair does for a person.

I remember learning in Yeshiva that hair is considered the crown on a person's head. 

People go through all sorts of time and expense to keep their hair, grow it out, clean it, and style it.

Often not having hair means that person is sick and on heavy doses of medication or chemotherapy that makes their hair fall out. 

People put on wigs or other heads coverings for religious piety, modesty, and to consecrate themselves to G-d and/or their beloved--so that only they should see it--as something special between them. 

Sometimes, a person's hair is cut off to dehumanize them like the Nazi's did to the Jews and as happens to other prisoners. 

Also, when people go to the military, they are given a crew cut to take away their hair and individuality while they learn to conform and be obedient to their chain of command. 

Often in fights, people grab and pull a person by their hair to control and hurt them. 

But mostly, hair is soft, sensual and looks good on a person (except when it doesn't)--generally it evokes youth, vibrance, freedom, and sexuality. 

Of course beauty is only skin deep, but the hair is truly the majestic crown that G-d gave us. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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September 24, 2015

Fashion As Art

I took this photo today in Washington, D.C.--although it seemed for a moment like I was magically transported to downtown Beijing. 

What an stunning outfit this lady is wearing!

Fashionable yet modest, with brilliant colors, and contrasting patterns and solids--more like art than clothing. 

She is walking with a complete fluid grace--even while she's reading on her smartphone. 

Don't tell Dossy--Oh, she's right here! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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September 13, 2015

The Hottest New Jewish Site


Just in time for the New Year you can shop at Jewish fashion site Hot Chani

"Sexy things for heimish girls."


Hot Chanis are modest and proper Jewish women who are still unbelievably sexy. 


You can truly be a "good Jewish girl" and feel and be gorgeous inside and out. 


Find your confidence, feel sexy, be beautiful, find love and romance...shop at Hot Chani.


Spice up your New Year and your life.


Be a Hot Chani! ;-)


(Source Photo: HotChani.com)

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August 23, 2015

Shopping At CVS Florida Style

So I am posting this with permission of my wife.

This is how people walk around in CVS in Florida. 

This is not how people dress in CVS in Washington D.C. even on the hottest August days. 

It is really weird how people seemingly change their entire conception of appropriate and modest dress (code) just because they can. 

I remember when at least people coming off the beach would put on a wrap or towel or something.

Uh, not anymore--the feeling of freedom has been extended quite some to the point of this becoming all too blase. 

Maybe this is similar to the trend of some women in Times Square in New York who are going around topless with nothing but some paint even though there are families with children that frequent that touristy area. 

Perhaps it would be nice to leave a little mystery for everyone involved. ;-)
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July 28, 2015

When Your Pants Are Down

Yesterday in the news was how a drone was used to fly over and take pictures at a nude beach

So at a nude beach, even those that advertise privacy protections, let's face it your walking around in the buff. But still, the use of the drone with a camera was a violation of people's expectations not to be photographed and by those outside the facility.


And about a week earlier, a five year old finds a camera phone in the lady's bathroom in a Starbucks


Yesteday, I had a similar lesson about people's warped sensibilities or perversions (but without the drone or smartphone--this was the low tech version). 


I'm at the pool for a swim after work. 


There are 2 locker rooms for men and women, of course.


But at one point, I see this LADY get out of the pool and head straight for the MEN'S locker room--she actually proceeds to go in one side--through and past the bathrooms, showers, sauna, and lockers--and out the other side to exit the facility. 


So trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, when I get out of the pool, thinking maybe the locker room wasn't clearly marked, I check it--and there is a big sign with a picture (the symbol for men) and you couldn't miss it!


Also, this lady was clearly not new as she gestured a friendly hello to the lifeguard, and she wasn't the slightest bit confused (she had actually made some small talk with me in the pool)   


When she left, as she headed into the men's room, she didn't hesitate, knock on the door or anything, and obviously didn't care whether anyone was in there--dressed or naked.


Perhaps, because the men's locker room is closer to the exit, she was just taking a shortcut--for her, how convenient!


Then again maybe she was a true perv and this was her way of getting some cheap thrills regardless of other people's right to privacy and safety, including those of children. 


In a sense, this is more than just about generalized privacy (such as with information), but even extends to your very privates!


We live in an age when it is a balancing act between sharing and privacy, between openness and modesty, and between doing what's right and pure self-gratification. 


Unfortunately, to put in bluntly, some people just don't seem to give a sh*t about respect for other people's decency or rights, and they will do what they want regardless of the social balancing act or the necessity to use common sense good judgement in public and private.  


The lesson is that when your pants are down, as creepy as it sounds, it's best to assume that someone is always looking or at least may be on the prowl, so be careful out there. ;-)


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 14, 2015

Fun Summer Fashion

Sharing this "fashion" photo that I took in Washington, D.C. this week. 

This Summer dress is colorful, happy, and cool. 

It makes a bold statement with an almost tie-dye like design and flowing colors almost wrapping the woman in the brilliant spiraling motif. 

While it is casual, it is also relatively modest through it floor length.

In a fairly busy city, this dress was a stand out and IMHO was a Summer fashion yes. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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