Kiss Me Where

OMG, so I had a major mess up last night. 

I go to a Sephardic synagogue and they have a custom of not just shaking hands, but kissing (not really) each other by sort of tapping each other first one cheek to cheek and then the other side. 

So this lady friend comes into shule (with her fiancee who walks away for a moment) while the dancing is going on with the Torah for the holiday, and she makes the signal moves for the cheek to cheek greeting to me.

But this whole custom is still sort of unfamiliar to me, and I mess it up big time!

I must've turned my head to the left when I should've turned right or something, and rather than end up cheek to cheek, I end up in this very awkward lip on lip kiss with her.

(Oh shit, that didn't just happen, did it?)

We both sort of jump backwards, and my wife is standing there in disbelief cracking up at the whole thing. 

This lady quickly turns away, and I quickly turn the other way, and I am just looking up at the ceiling thinking what did I just do. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Kiss Me Where

Synagogue Time

So this is an interesting new phenomenon with synagogue. 

Usually, we like to go a little later so that basically we are there for about an hour and a half of services. 

That's about my attention span and then I start to get claustrophobic and antsy. 

(BTW, some friends that go to Church told me that they have the same experience.)

But the last two weeks something changed...(no, not me). 

Last week in Maryland, we went to synagogue and the people were standing in front with the Ark open and I thought wow they are way ahead and are finished with Torah reading and are putting the Torahs away already. 

But after a moment, I realized they were only just taking out the Torahs for the weekly reading, and we were actually earlier than usual. 

When I inquired in synagogue why they were behind schedule, I learned that to get people there for more of the services, they had decided to start later. 

Ah, it's a trick!

This week in Florida, I went to the Chabad shule and we were running late (hey, it's vacation) about 10:45 and thought shule would almost be over, but they were just in the morning prayers still, and there wasn't even a minyan yet.  

Two places, two synagogues, two weeks and they are changing the start times...

Seems smart from their perspective to try and get people there and for more of the services, but for the people who just want to come for a certain amount or parts of the service, isn't this just going to cause people to come even later in an endless cat and mouse game. 

Start later, come later, start later, come later...

I'm no Rabbi, but how about a serious focused service--ONE solid hour (plus)--full of REAL kavanah (concentration), meaning, and sincerity, and everyone comes on time?

Start on time, come on time--really pray (no talking please)!

And still plenty of time for socializing and bonding after services at the yummy Kiddish. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Brian Smithson)

Synagogue Time

Part 2 - Birds Of A Feather

An open letter to the Board and members of the Riverdale Jewish Center (RJC) and the Bronx District Attorney's Office:

In my May 30th blog, G-d is Good, (Some) People Not So, I wrote about the accused Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt of the RJC, the now known "Sauna Rabbi," who the New York Times disclosed about having some unorthodox and usual practices of getting naked with children and young adults. 

Yesterday in the New York Times, I read the follow up to the story that Dr. Donald Liss, the Chairman of the Board, overruled the board who demanded that Rabbi Rosenblatt leave the synagogue, and now many of the board members are resigning over this travesty of justice and members are leaving the synagogue to start break-away prayer services. 

At the end of my last blog on this subject, I wrote: "One last thing I will say, there are others in that community that were involved."

One of the others involved, guess who?

Yes, the Chairman of the Board who overruled the community and is protecting Rabbi Rosenblatt. 

I grew up in Riverdale from the age of 10 when my family moved from the upper west side of Manhattan. I attended SAR Academy, the local yeshiva. My family had many lovely friends in this community and we attended the RJC where we were members for over 20 years.

Dr. Donald Liss significantly older than myself and my friends growing up frequently invited us to his house in Riverdale to "learn" Torah and for Shabbat meals, although the learning frequently turned into talk and banter and "wrestling." Dr. Liss, as a doctor of rehabilitative and sports medicine, claimed great interest in my physical fitness as a youth and my practice of martial arts. He started to run and workout with me and my best friend and this at times lead to more "wrestling" matches.

Later Dr. Liss provided me a Summer job in his and his brother's practice at Englewood Hospital. Dr Liss was quite well off and took advantage of me that my family was less so and I needed a job. He provided me the opportunity to work out there in their "gym" during lunch and then when I would change in the locker room, he would invariably show up to talk with me. 

Other times, he invited me to go on vacation with his family to the Poconos to babysit his kids.  I remember one particular time, I went running on the trail there, and he came.  When we got back to the house we were staying in, he dropped all his clothes in the kitchen area in front of me and his wife and totally nude just started talking. 

Other times, when I would work out in my apartment in Riverdale with weights or stretching for karate, even during the day, Dr. Liss would show up. And he would also invite my friend and I to his home to lift weights and more "wrestling".

As I got older and smarter, I realized Dr. Liss's behavior was not normal, and his interest in my workout and my Torah learning did not seem innocent any longer. I stopped getting together and taking his phone calls. His calling, hang-ups, and messages increased.

I met Dr. Liss one last time to put an end to his harassment, and I confronted him that I thought despite his being married with kids and his professing of religion that he had abnormal tendencies, and I wanted him to stay away from me.  He pretended to be shocked at my allegations as a Jewish man who sat towards the front of the synagogue and was learned. 

When I moved to DC, the only contact I had from Dr. Liss was when he tried to friend me on Facebook, which I promptly cut him off. 

That Dr. Liss would now protect Rabbi Rosenblatt and overrule the wishes of the Riverdale Jewish Center is a Chillul Hashem and travesty of justice. 

Every word in this blog is true, and I hope it helps the community and the victims to get over this tragedy and desecration of G-d. The good people who wish to grow up and pray without unwanted advances of some sick individuals hiding behind many veils of religion and family deserve their community back. 

Part 2 - Birds Of A Feather

Skip The Religious Brainwashing

So my wife and I took this picture yesterday of this Spongebob outside a matress store, but which you frequently find at places like a car wash.  

It gets some attention when your driving by. 

This cartoon fellow reminded me of something I heard in a movie trailer recently.

It was about people of faith, but rather than relying on being genuinely thoughtful about their beliefs, instead they adhere to a form of brainwashing, where the people in the community are kept in the fold by closing out any and all outside influences. 

When one of the ladies in the community was asked about this, she replied "You know what someone told me about brainwashing? What's wrong with a clean brain!"

While I am a huge proponent of devotion and service to G-d, I think that relying on intentionally keeping people sheltered is not the path to G-d. 

Especially for the Jewish people, who are known as the "People of the Book" for their intense learning of the Torah, intellectual pursuit and challenge is a source of true faith.

Of course, there are bad influences in society--addictive drugs, alcohol dependence, indiscriminate sex, violent and deviant people, and more--and we want to keep our families away from these things and safe.  

Interestingly, when someone is free from drugs and alcohol, they often say that they have been "clean" for so many months or years. 

If that is what a "clean brain" is--then that is a positive thing. 

But if a clean brain is truly cutting people off from education and legitimate worldly pursuits just to force them to follow and keep them in state of brainwashing, then that level of a geder (i.e. gate or limitation) is destructive to the person and community. 

Recently, a 30-year woman, Faigy Meyer, "who broke free from the iron-tight grip of her ultra-conservative Hassidic community" and had been shunned by her family, leapt from a rooftop to her death.

The term iron-grip used in the article sounds like a medieval torture device used to force or keep people at bay, and if that is what the "religious" community is doing so-to-say to limit free choice of their members, then that is not honest belief and practice. 

For myself personally, I lived for some years in a highly religious community that despite having many wonderful people and families was for the most part not very accepting of anyone who believed or practiced not exactly like them--there was no room for that. 

One time, the legacy Rabbi on the pulpit (not the current one who is an extremely fine person that I greatly respect) even warned the members to beware of people in their midst who were not true worshippers (and could be a harmful influence). 

In a closed community thinking, one can feel quite alienated and a huge void of spirituality. 

Thank G-d, in our community with the Magen David Sephardic Synagogue, we have found not only a beautiful love of Hashem, but that mixed with acceptance for everyone to come and participate.

Now we actually love to go to synagogue and look forward to it. It has become a central part of our lives (similar in our own way to how it had been for my beloved father). 

Take away the iron-tight grip, the forcing, the brainwashing and fear of the regular outside world, and you have people from many walks of life, intellectual pursuits and experiences come together to seek and worship G-d with a pure and open heart. 

In a way, it is similar to technology: if you have a closed system (not connected to the Internet and the outside), you have a safe tool, but it is very limited as a standalone. Alternatively, hook the computer up to the Internet and while you take some risks browsing the limits of the virtual world, you come away with so much more you can do and richness in the experience. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle and Andy Blumenthal)

Skip The Religious Brainwashing

A Being of Light

So last night, I dreamed about my beloved dad. 

He was in synagogue praying--something he did every day.

I was telling my dad that it was time to go.

But he didn't want to leave--synagogue was his favorite place to be close to G-d and his friends. 

My dad was in the front of the synagogue elevated on the steps before the Holy Ark (where the Torahs are kept).

I looked at my dad and somehow knew/felt that he was near death. 

I ran to him and threw my arms around him in an incredible completely loving hug--clutching on to him to stay with us, longer.

In this embrace, I could feel his total and undying love for me.

Now he no longer looked like my dad but like a being of light--such as I had never seen.

He had died, but was still somehow alive in another way. 

I miss my dad--he was a truly holy man (a Tzadik) and a loving husband, father, and grandfather, who would do anything for us. 

I wish I could sit and speak with him again, hold his hand, hear him sing when we came over, and see him smile. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Taltopia.com)

A Being of Light

@Manna Food Center

Today we volunteered at Manna Food Center.

"Fighting hunger and feeding hope in Montgomery County."

There were huge bins of food that had been donated and collected from various organizations and charitable people.

A group of us from the synagogue, Magen David, met at the center.

We checked the dates on each item to ensure the food was not expired and still good to eat. 

We sorted the food by type into different boxes, crates, and shelves. 

There was areas for cans, pastas, cereals, pantry items, and more. 

The area that had the most stuff when we were done sorting...you guessed it--the junk food like cookies and chocolate--sort of unfortunate, but probably a comment on our times for what people actually buy and eat (despite all the calls for healthier eating and living).

There was one area specifically where we placed food for kids who don't have enough food for the weekends (when they don't have the school lunch program etc.), and they come on Fridays and fill their backpacks with milk boxes, crackers, and other things they can easily take home with them.

This really made me think about the dire straits that some families are in and especially the impact on the children.

G-d, no one should go hungry, and it was nice to see that people donate and volunteer to help, but still why in such a rich country like ours is there still so much hunger and need? ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

@Manna Food Center

Wine Bottle Extraordinaire

I took this photo of one of the amazing wine bottles at an event last evening at Magen David Synagogue. 

Apparently, a very talented lady in there makes these special bottles. 

Unfortunately with the lighting, this picture does not near do them justice for how exquisite they looked. 

They were in different colors of lacing, with beautiful beads, hamsas, and other decorations, as well as pictures of our honored sages, and their names in hebrew over the photos. 

I asked facetiously one lady who was taking home a bottle whether she was going to drink it all that evening, and she pulled the bottle close to her and leaning in to me said, "This is going in my display case!"

And that truly is where these belong...they are amazing.

The wonderful lady that painstakingly makes these gave how many of them charitably so they could be auctioned for benefit of the synagogue. 

Aside from a wonderful soul, this person is very talented and should seriously start a business with these because they are awesome! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Wine Bottle Extraordinaire

Happy Chametz Time Again

Thank you to Congregation Magen David for a wonderful end of Passover party.

The family, new friends, music, singing, dancing, and food made for a truly joyous evening.

Happy and thankful for the opportunity to be a part of it. 

Now counting up to Shavuot and the giving of the Torah. 

The Jewish people rock! ;-)

(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)

Happy Chametz Time Again

Eulogy For My Dear Father, Fred Blumenthal

Today, we are here to commemorate my father, Manfred Blumenthal--Meir Ben Shimon Halevi’s passing. My dad was my father, my guide, my role model for life—he meant everything to me, and my words alone cannot capture my feelings of love, devotion, and gratitude to him.

My father was a deeply religious man and he was a tzadik (truly righteous person), and his passing yesterday on the Jewish date of Asara B’Tevet (the 10th day of the Hebrew month of Tevet) is a portrayal of his very belief system and of him as a servant of Hashem, always. 

On Asara B’Tevet, over 2,400 years ago, the Babylonian Emperor, Nebuchadnezzar laid siege to the holy city of Jerusalem leading months later to the breach of the city walls and then on Tisha B’Av to the destruction of the Jewish temple. 

The synagogue to my father was the surrogate for the Jewish temple, and he went everyday like a soldier, morning and night, to pray and serve G-d. In fact, some his most joyous moments, when I was a kid, was when we went together and I sat at his side in shule. 

To my dad, he loved Hashem, his family, and the community and was devoted to them in every way.  

Religiously, my dad not only went to synagogue to pray, but went regularly to multiple shiurim (Torah classes) during the week, served years ago on the Chevra Kadisha (Jewish Burial Society), did Bichur Cholim (visiting the sick), gave charity all the time, and made a beautiful Jewish home with my mother, Gerda Blumenthal, for us first on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, then in Riverdale, New York, and finally in Silver Spring MD.

My dad and mom loved Riverdale where we lived for over 20 years, yet when my wife and I and our children moved here to Silver Spring to make our home and work for the Federal government, my parents uprooted and moved here within the very same year to be with us.

No matter the hardship, my dad would do whatever it took. When he and his brother and sister (Sid and Ruth) and their parents (my Oma and Opa) fled the Nazi’s in Germany and made their way through Italy and England and ultimately to America, my father lost all his education, was interned on the Isle of man, and worked selling goods on the streets to help his family survive. 

The Holocaust deeply scarred my father, who was only a child when it happened, and interestingly enough these days, Asara B’Tevet is also the general Kaddish Day (memorial) for victims of the Holocaust, many of whose martyrdom is unknown. 

When interned, my father got very sick with a high fever for many days, and one day, the fever broke, and my father awoke and said to his family, "Today we are going to get our visas to America"--and that is exactly what happened.  

Miracles followed my father as well as his devotion to family…he worked for decades, as manager, in ladies handbags. Yet due to competition from overseas, the company finally closed, and my father was without a job, and my Bar Mitzvah was coming up. Even though out of work and not knowing when another job in that economy would present itself, My father believed and said, “Hashem will provide” and that we would still have the big event bringing me into my religious manhood as a Jew. It was a beautiful event and my father did get another job from a neighbor who sat right across the aisle from us in Shule who happened to have, a handbag manufacturing company.

I remember my dad working extra hard to put me and my sister Roz through Yeshiva, college, and even graduate school.  I remember him coming home from work and then going out again to work Bingo nights for the school to help them out. 

Despite tough economic times, my dad insisted that he pay for me to go to karate classes, which he knew I loved, and always put aside allowance money for me and my sister and then the grandchildren.  

For years my dad taught me to always do what was right, follow the Torah, and my conscience…he was the ultimate role model for me as a good, decent human being. 

When my mom was so sick with Parkinson’s disease, first at home and then at the Hebrew Home, my dad was again there like a soldier, all day long, every day, to sit with her and care for her with no thought at all to his personal needs or health. My mom passed away less than a year ago on January 13, 2014 (the 12th day of the Hebrew month of Sh’vat).

I remember so many wonderful times together from Shabbat meals and holidays, and celebrations like my wedding to my wife Dossy and Bat Mitzvah’s of our children, Minna and Rebecca and my niece’s, Yaffa. As well as challenging times, when one of us was sick in the hospital and my dad was there with me, again multiple times a day, to comfort me and help me—with no thought of himself. 

As a parent, I could go on and on about my dad, but he was also a good friend to so many of you in the community and he loved to talk with you, tell jokes, pray with you, have a meal with you, join with you at the shule dinner and so many other community events. 

Manfred Blumenthal, my dad, was a true servant of G-d and a loving father and grandfather who would and did do anything for us, including saving the life of my very wife, who had gotten ill a number of years ago.

Even though I would argue with my dad, I always knew he was right about things, and he would guide me no matter what.  

Now today, I stand here next to his casket…devastated at the loss.

I love you dad, we all love you and wish you peace, happiness, and countless blessings in the afterlife. You gave us everything and you deserve to be rewarded by the Almighty in heaven together with mom and your loving parents, Simon and Hilda Blumenthal.

I cannot say goodbye, just see you later where we can all stand together in heaven before Hashem!

Eulogy For My Dear Father, Fred Blumenthal

Going With Happiness

We went to synagogue yesterday and the Sukkot celebration today at Chabad in Downtown Fort Lauderdale.

Such lovely warm and welcoming people--thank you Rabbi and Rebbetzin Schneur for your very gracious hospitality.

My wife and I both cried at the services and in getting in touch with our inner Torah spirituality.

Somehow, Chabad brings out the best in others, and they did it with us as well.

Here I stood next to the picture of the Rebbe and I looked into his eyes and was strengthened.

I remember many years ago, Dossy and I went to visit at Chabad headquarters in Crown Heights, New York and we received a blessing from the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

He told my wife to always go with happiness ("B'sever panim yafot").

Today was a little fulfillment of that. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dossy Blumenthal)

Going With Happiness

Go 2 Shul

My wonderful dad is very religious and enjoys going to shul (i.e. synagogue) every day--multiple times a day. 

I love him for who he is and respect his deep religious beliefs and devotion to G-d--my dad truly serves and walks with Hashem.

And I hope and pray that my Dad has many more happy and healthy years to go to synagogue--"Until 120 years," G-d bless!

Often, Dad reminds me how important it is to attend services, especially since I am a more private person who would rather connect with G-d on a more personal level. 

To each his own and live and let live.  

My wife saw this license plate today and my daughter took a photo of it. 

Apparently, this is someone else who either wants to go 2 shul or wants others to go as well. 

I'm not sure, but it even looks like they wrote or carved the word "synagogue" on the bumper of their car as well. 

Anyway as long as everyone drives safely, it is great to find innovative ways to get the message out there. ;-)

Go 2 Shul

The Light of G-d is the Soul Of Man

Beautiful stained glass in the synagogue in Rockville, Maryland.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Light of G-d is the Soul Of Man

Hurry Up and Wait

This guy from the military used to joke that they were always being told to hurry up only to find that once they got to their destination, they had to sit around and wait--he called this "Hurry up and wait!"

It's a paradox of our times that we are constantly in a hurry to get to work, have our meetings, get our work done, get home, and a million and one other things. PTA meeting or baseball practice anyone? 

From fast food to information at the speed of light, it's like we know we are up against the clock and no matter how fast we go it's not fast enough. 

Yet, it is exactly in rushing from thing to thing and to get things done that we really miss the point--to savor every moment. 

I think the saying take time to smell the roses is very important. And someday if you don't, you will look back and wonder where did all the time go and why was it so--fast and--miserable.

The Wall Street Journal (14 March 2013) has a book review today on "The Slow Fix" by Carl Honore.

Honore says we have a "cultural addiction to speed" and he advises that we take more time to enjoy life--our work, our relationships, our interests, and I would add our spirituality.

It's funny but in the book review, it mentions how a Viennese priest admits that he even prays to fast. And I have to chuckle at that because I too remember from my childhood, so many synagogue services, where speed praying and prayer by rote took the joy and meaning away the true connection I wanted to be building with my maker. 

Even in a work setting, often everything seems like a #1 priority and there is more to do than there are hours in the day or people to do it.

While working quickly and efficiently is desirable, when people are overworked and overwhelmed that is how costly mistakes happen and people get burned out. 

In all aspects of our lives, we need to make good progress, but at the same time, ensure that our lives are filled with meaning that you can only get by paying attention to each and every wonderful moment. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Jayme Frye)

Hurry Up and Wait

Most Novel Bingo

I fondly remember when I was a kid going occassionally with my mom to the local synagogue to help the elderly with their weekly bingo game. 

It was fun to see the old people getting together, having a good time, and competing for the prize, usually some token tchochkes.

As a little kid, of course, even though I wasn't playing, I usually walked away with a big Hersey's chocolate bar--and that itself was enough to make me want to come back again and again. 

A couple of weeks ago though, I come to find out, there are other exciting versions of the game out there...

The Wall Street Journal (22 October 2012) described quite a novel version of the game called either chicken-poop bingo or cow-chip bingo. 

Not to gross anyone out, it is what is sounds like. 

The winning numbers are drawn not by the turning the game cage and having a ball with the winning numbers on it fall down the chute, but rather by where the chicken or cow does it's business. 

Some have barked about this being cruel to animals to use them in this way or that people manipulate the animals to go on certain squares by planting feed, or that when the dung drops on multiple squares, then the winner is the one with the greatest volume--enjoy measuring that! 

This version of the game wins butt-down for the most novel way to play bingo, but for me, I still would rather accompany my mom to help the old people like I did as a kid and walk away with that great big cholocate bar. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to B.K. Dewey)

Most Novel Bingo

Goodbye Mr. Yaffe

Last night, my dear friend lost his father--Mr. John Sommer.

He was known to many as just Mr. Yaffe--a twist on an electrical business, Yaffe Electric, that he owned for many years. 

John Sommer was a good man--he was a holocaust survivor who came to America, married his dear wife Yona, had two boys--Danny and Harry--and worked hard in his business for his family and his community. 

Yona, was a saintly woman, who died about 11 years ago from cancer and John carried on into his upper 80's with many an illness--finally succumbing on Friday night into a coma, and last night, he passed.

John and Yona were wonderful to me--as I was friends with their sons--and their home was like a 2nd home for me. 

I always felt like I had a place at their table and they made me feel like one of the family.

I remember saying the table prayers before and after meals there, talking about religion and politics, playing board and video games, watching movies, doing homework, and more. 

On the Jewish holidays, the Sommers invited my family to join them, and they joined us on the Sabbath at times, and on Thanksgiving, we meet at the restaurant together. 

The Sommers sat just two rows behind us in Synagogue, but that didn't stop some friendly banter between us all--G-d forgive us. 

Regularly after synagogue on weekdays, John Sommer would say let me give you a lift home--he was always willing to help others.

For the community, he frequently gave his electrician services to the synagogue for free and sponsored the kiddish (meal) after the services. 

The Sommers were at my Bar Mitzvah and my wedding, and I always remember their friendship and generosity. 

Losing good people is very painful--there are not enough of them in this world.

I pray that John is now with his wife, Yona, in heaven--and that they are at peace and that their legacy of good deeds continues long after. 

Good people should not suffer, but these people did as so many do--it is not easy to live or to die, but I have fond memories of what they gave to me and I am grateful to them. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Goodbye Mr. Yaffe

L'Chaim--Live It Well!

I found an article on the consolation of death "buried" in my papers from a couple of months ago--and I'm glad I did. 

The Wall Street Journal (10 April 2012) has a very interesting book review of "Death" by Shelly Kagan.

The book is about how do we live knowing that some day we will die--how do we console ourselves?

Here are a combination of the the ideas reviewed and my thoughts on them:

- The Hard Stop--Since life and death, for each of us, cannot coexist, we are either alive or dead--"no one will ever encounter their own death"--so there is nothing to worry about.  

- Not Me--We live life never really believing that we will die--instead, "death is something that happens to other people."

- Live Without Attachments--As Buddhism teaches that we should cast off attachments, self-concern, and suffering--hence, the loss of own self is a "nonevent."

- Live The Moment-- We should live in the present and enjoy life, rather than mourn the past or worry about the future.

- Live a Full Life--Live a full and meaningful life, and then perhaps, we "don't cry because it's over, [but rather] smile because it happened."

- Leave a Legacy--If we leave a legacy of our children and good deeds, then we live on even once we are physically gone. 

I was always taught that since no one ever really came back from the other side to tell us what happens to us when we die, we should not be overly focused on it.

I remember overhearing some old men in synagogue debating what happens to us when we die--one taking the position that we go heaven and the other stating that death was the end (he put it more crudely though-something about us being dead no different than a dead dog!)

In the end, since it doesn't pay to worry about what we don't know and perhaps can't even really fathom, I think all we can do is our best every moment that we are alive--and leave the rest to sort out to G-d, afterward.

The consolation then is if you tried your best, what more can anyone ask of themselves or others?

In terms of the picture, the L'Chaim candy bar is a little reminder not to take everything in life so seriously either--live life and live it well. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Uberculture, Jeremy Noble)

L'Chaim--Live It Well!