Everyone's Heart Is Something

This video has gone viral since Monday. 

A 6-year old girl instructs her mom and dad on how to treat each other better after her parent's divorce. 

"I just want everyone to be friends."

"If I can be nice, I think all of you can be too."

"I want everyone to smile."

"I think you can get your mean heights to low heights."

"My heart is something. Everyone's heart is something."

"If we live in a world where everyone is mean, then everyone will be a monster. What about the future?"

"If there is a little bit of person, we will eat them, then no one will ever be here, only the monsters will be in our place,"

"I want everything to be good and possible, nothing else."

So innocent and pure are her words.

Yes, a wake-up call to all of us!

If G-d can endow us with such pristine souls, surely we can nurture these and one day return them to the Maker, certainly no worse for the wear, and maybe even some better with good deeds done. ;-)

Everyone's Heart Is Something

Yom Kippur, When The Masks Come Off

This mask does not mean that Jews have horns--that is a crappy and evil stereotype, so cut it out. 

Masks are dress-up and pretend, like the way most people behave day-in and day-out. 

People imagine and feign to be what they would like to be or what they want others to believe they are. 

Like when someone is gearing up for a fight, they extend their arms, raise their voices, bob up and down to make themselves appear bigger and more formidable than they really are. 

It's a fake out--but perception is (often) reality. 

Similarly, people may wear clothes, drive cars, or live in big fancy homes that make them look well-to-do, but really it's a great act and all bought on extensive credit (ever hear of 0% down!). 

Others may dream of being seen as smart and the go-to guy for answers, the subject matter expert, or the generally wise person for advice and guidance, but are they really smarter than everyone else or do the degrees plastering the wall like wallpaper or titles like doctor, lawyer, accountant, entrepreneur, professor, and Rabbi simply often invoke credentials and an air rather than the smarts that should accompany them.

Even parents may pose for loving pictures with their children, seem to dote on them, and act the helicopter parents, but still when it comes to their own busy schedules, they have no real time or attention left for the little ones--because the parents put themselves first. 

It happens all the time, every which way, the authority figure who really abuses their authority rather than lives up to it. 

People are human, weak, fallible--and the show is often a lot better than the characters behind it. 

But that doesn't mean we stop trying to be inside what we know we really should be--more loving, caring, giving, and good people. 

This is the essence of Yom Kippur to me, the Day of Atonement--the day when we shed all our phony masks--and instead we bear out our sins, bend our heads with shame, are sorry for what we have done wrong, and commit to doing better in the future.

Yom Kippur is the day when all the masks are off--we cannot hide from G-d Almighty, the all seeing and all knowing.  

On Rosh Hashanah, the Day of Judgement we are inscribed, and on Yom Kippur the book is sealed. 

In Judgement, we may enter the court of heaven with heads still held up high, with the same act that we try to show every day, but on Yom Kippur we leave the court with our heads down and our hands humbly clasped, the sentence meted out for who we really are--based not on pretense, but on our underlying behavior.

A mask covers what is, when the mask is off we are left with who we are--naked before our maker, where all is revealed, and we must account for our actions--good, bad, or even just plain indifferent. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Yom Kippur, When The Masks Come Off

Guillotine, Other Options Plz

I took this photo of a bumper sticker on a pickup truck in Washington, D.C.

"Stop Bitching. Start A Revolution."

So I'm thinking this is not the type of message you like to see in the capital of the country. 

But looking beyond the call by whomever for a forcible overthrow of the government (yeah, hopefully they don't mean it)...

Perhaps what they do mean for people to do something more than just complain about the things they see that are wrong or broken, and instead to do something positive. 

Not a real revolution, but an evolution of change--incremental change, even baby steps, but leading to positive and constructive betterment! 

Stop just huffing and puffing about this and that.

Consider speaking up, coming up with new and better ideas, advocating for something more, and actually helping to build it. 

The guillotine is normally not the solution (French Revolution aside)--but that doesn't mean you can't do squat. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Guillotine, Other Options Plz

There You Are

So my niece forwarded this over, and I thought it was really worth sharing...

It's about how our lives are really a bunch of building blocks, and each thing we do contributes to the next step.

So we have to be careful all along the way to do the right thing--so we can achieve the results we want and can be proud of.

It goes like this:

"Watch you thoughts; they become words.

Watch you words; they become actions.

Watch you actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

Sometimes, we ask ourselves how we got to where we are today--almost as if we are surprised--but the reality is that most of the time, we are going through our lives inch by inch and step by step in an incremental and causal fashion. 

Yes sh*t happens--bad things (and good things), and they test and challenge us and take us to the next playing level.

But for the most part, we didn't just arrive at this moment out of the blue, but rather given what G-d has given us, we mold ourselves brick by brick....until there we are. ;-)

(Thank you to Chana Rivkah Herbsman and Minna Blumenthal)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

There You Are

Big Kiss Followed By Hard Slap

So I share this story not out of anger, but to tell of something important that happened to me.

It was when I was very sick last year from surgical complications...

And someone did one of the nicest things for me...and also one of the most hurtful.

This was at the point of hospitalization #3, I think (there was more after), and the doctors were shaking their heads--uh, not a good sign. 

Frankly, I didn't know anymore whether I was going to make it. 

At that time, someone close reached out to me and my wife and said they were going to hold a prayer vigil for me in their home one evening to try and help. 

They did and even sent me photographs of the wonderful people taking the time to ask G-d to save me...I was deeply moved and grateful. 

But subsequently on a phone call with the person who set this up, they said to me seemingly with resentment at having to have done it and undoing all the good they had done...

"You know you really need to get some zechusim of your own!"

Zuchusim means qualities or deeds that merit some reward or good.

In other words, I was getting judged and scolded and was being told that I was in pain, suffering, and sick because basically I MUST be an aweful person who deserves it. 

And if not for her organizing the prayer group and those others with zuchusim that attended, I on my own probably did not even deserve to live. 

Gee, thanks for the slap, slap, and slap.

While I am sure her words were intended to help me by exhorting ultimate life betterment, at the time and even now, the roughness and shrill of them hurt--it's nothing less than a matter of soul!

While I am no saint--and I think few of us can claim that title no matter how hard we may put ourselves on that lofty pedestal--I know that in my own way--maybe not the most traditional way that other religious people can fully relate to--I try my best to serve G-d, be a decent human being, and a good influence...while not perfect by any sense of the word. 

Laying sick and vulnerable, I needed to be told that I was okay and everything would be okay with G-d's blessing--that whatever the suffering and whatever the reason, my life has good in it and meaning to it--even while we can all better ourselves. 

But while I felt the kiss from this person when they organized the beautiful prayer group for me, I soon felt the sting of the slap from the strict harsh "religious" judgement from someone that didn't even really know my days in and outs. 

While I know I can do better--and I am committed to continue to try to learn and grow as a person--and serve G-d and help others--but for crying out loud have some compassion, go easy on the severity of the judgement and exhortations, and maybe give some benefit of the doubt. 

Words have meaning even though deeds surpass words, and we should be careful with both. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos posting of Batmancomic.infogenerator)

Big Kiss Followed By Hard Slap

Oh, Change!

What an astute comic this is about change. 

"Who wants change?"  Everyone raises their hands enthusiastically.

"Who wants to change?" Everyone has their hands and eyes down. 

I suppose that is the difference between a nice lofty but esoteric concept, and something that actually impacts us and requires our attention, resources, and hard work. 

So what sounds good for the masses in a speech or article may sound entirely different when applied to the individual. 

Who me change?  No, that's someone else's problem!

- Global warming and environmental destruction--that's coming from China now.

- Russian aggression in Ukraine, Georgia, the Baltic States--it's a European issue.

- The Arab Spring with governments being overthrown and countries destabilizing into sectarian violence--that's for The Gulf States to worry about. 

- Higher taxes to pay for social entitlements--let the very rich pay for that.

- More security and surveillance for counter-terrorism initiatives--let's just surgically target the bad guys with those. 

Let's face it--we all have a lot on our plates already and we are suckers for a good talking to about some broadly-based, fantastical future that is better, happier, healthier, and more peaceful and prosperous.

But what do you have to give up or sacrifice for this future utopia or making progress towards it...ah, that's not a message we really want to get into now, is it?

Change...it's good for the next guy and gal; let me have my cake and eat it too. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to starecat.com)

Oh, Change!

Let It Be

I remember as a kid, when I was around 10 years old, we moved, and I had to change schools, and there was an adjustment period. 

My father used to tell me a joke in the morning before school about these two grandmothers kibbitzing.

And one tells the other about how her grandson hates going to school. 

She goes on to say, "The students hate him, the teachers hate, it's just horrible."

The other grandmother replies, "Well then, why doesn't he just tell the principal?"

The first grandmother answers, "He is the principal!"

So this was a lesson to me about how no one has it so perfect in life--whether you're the kid, teacher, or even the principal, everyone has their challenges (and they may actually not look all that differently in the larger context of things). 

Basically, in life we must work to make things better where we can, but also have to accept the things we cannot change (and thank G-d, people are pretty adaptable, expecially given some time). 

While, we can try to divine the future by asking "What's going to be?"

Generally speaking, we can't fully know the answers in life before we even have the questions.

We've got to take it as it come, where we can--do our best to make a tangible, positive difference in the world--and with the rest, "let it be."

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Let It Be

The Reason We Are Given Is To Give

There is a famous slogan about "the gift that keeps on giving" that has been used for promoting various products from appliances to flowers.  

But to me, it is more appropriately used to inspire people to make a donation or give of themselves, because of how fulfilling it can be and how it makes us better people.

There is no more beautiful story about the act of giving then the one by O'Henry called The Gift of The Magi. 

In the story, a husband and wife, Jim and Della, want to give each other holiday gifts, but they are poor. 

Della has beautiful long hair, but no combs for it, and Jim has a gold watch passed down from his father and grandfather, but no chain for it. 

Each sacrifices for the other and in a tragic irony--Della sells her long, flowing hair to buy a gold chain for Jim, and Jim sells the prized gold watch to purchase a set of special combs for Della. 

They could've been selfishly focused on what each individually was lacking, but instead they rose above it and were superbly generous--giving away their own prized possessions to try and make the other whole. 

They found the wisdom of the ages in terms of loving, giving, and sharing being of the greatest joys one can have. 

I love this story for it's simplicity in teaching about giving and sacrifice and channeling whatever our challenges in life are into opportunities for betterment. 

Maybe as individuals, we can't change the whole world in one fell swoop, but with each positive contribution and act of giving, we can leave it a little better than the way we found it. 

I was so proud earlier today when I heard one of my teenage daughters say: "the reason we are given things is in order to give to others."

I don't think my daughter ever heard of this O'Henry story, but I see how she is learning and living it, and what more can any parent want from their children. 

(Source Photo: here with attribution to OpenSourceWay)

The Reason We Are Given Is To Give