Blondes Do What Better? ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Blondes Do What Better? ;-)

This is So Not a Way to Become a Jewish Woman

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called "This is So Not a Way to Become a Jewish Woman."

I'm sure many of us have seen the new hit Adam Sandler movie, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, and probably most people will tell you it's a great movie.

To be fair, I believe that Adam Sandler did not mean badly with this movie in that it did show him trying to get the often out-of-control teenagers back on track. It was also nice to see that Stacy was ultimately a good person and friend. However, this Hollywood-ized version of a bat mitzvah and Jewish culture is clearly made for profit and not with a Jewish moral compass in mind and soul.

(Credit Photo: Dossy Blumenthal)

 

This is So Not a Way to Become a Jewish Woman

Uh, No.

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Uh, No.

Never Enough Leggings!

How many leggings is enough?

There is NEVER enough leggings!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Dossy Blumenthal)

Never Enough Leggings!

Tips Jar

Sense of humor when it comes to asking for tips.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Tips Jar

Feel My Fabric

This clothing store is being maybe a little too raunchy here. 

Get your hands off me. 

Hey cut that out. 

How utterly rude. 

Wise guys! ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Feel My Fabric

Isn't This Brand Just A Little Too Forward

Can't believe they actually sell a brand of soap called: "Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Liquid Soap."

And they have a hand sanitizer version too. 

This product's naming, labeling, and marketing is over-the-top even for a spoof product. 

Ah, I think I'll forever hold off on the handshaking even if there is an after-Covid.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Isn't This Brand Just A Little Too Forward

A Sign To Tell Us This

Wow, these days we need a sign to tell us this:

I am a man.

And I would imagine there is a corollary one to announce if you're a woman.

If people can't tell the difference anymore is that a good or bad thing?

Maybe it's good from an equality and respect standpoint, but also bad in terms some people being confused by it.

Reminds me of Crocodile Dundee when he had to do a hand check to figure things out.

Umm, that's not gonna work in real life!  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Sign To Tell Us This

Her Name Is Coco

Her name is Coco. 

And her standup hair says it (sideways).  

The blue stars over her eye lashes are pretty cool too. 

When she opens her eyes, she comes to life. 

Do you want to meet her?

A robot, mannequin, virtual reality or perhaps the future of humanity. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Her Name Is Coco

He Ain't Heavy

Reminds me of the song:

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother!"

For some reason, I remember the children back in the day (I grew up at the height of the feminist movement) saying instead: "She's my brother."

I used to think what the heck did that mean?

20/20 hindsight, but I guess a spoof on gender roles already many moons ago. 

Now I hear identity as he, she, ze/zir.

Either way, the person ain't heavy.  ;-)

(Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

He Ain't Heavy

Cash Is King

This was a funny shirt this lady was wearing on the Metro. 

It mimics the Sweet 'N Low artificial sweetener logo and says:

Fund R' Low
Need a Sugar Daddy

This was one of those shirts that gets your attention. 

It's different.  It plays off a familiar brand.  It bright pink, red, and blue and stands out.  And it could certainly have a sexual connotation.  

Anyway, this was a pretty bold shirt to wear into conservative Washington, D.C. 

But I guess wherever you go, fashion, sexuality, and cash is king. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Cash Is King

Don't Call Me Sir!

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel called, "Don't Call Me Sir!" 

In a split second, the officer zeros in on me and admonishingly says: "I’m not a Sir!" I’m taken aback, as I watch the officer speak, their face hardened and angular and their full mustache rising and falling with their words.

It's Pride Month, and I learned a valuable lesson in sensitivity, respect, and diversity and that in short: 

Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, Jewish Lives Matter, All Lives Matter!  We are all children of G-d. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Don't Call Me Sir!

Relax, It's Just Sex

Just thought this was a really funny-sad display in the window of this store in Tel Aviv. 

It says:

Relex It's Just Sex

Forget that Relax is spelled wrong. 

But advertising for sexual items in such a casual way...like it's sex and what's the big deal.

Maybe I am old school, where sex actually meant a deep personal relationship and emotional intimacy. 

...Where you partner was also your spouse and best friend.

Now--unfortunately--it's just sex!

I think as a society that we have lost something here. 

...Something important. 

If it's just sex, and it's just with anyone, then what does that leave for us with that someone truly special in our lives? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Relax, It's Just Sex

Tag Lines Deliver

Ouch!  How is that for a tag line?

Unlike Your Boyfriend, We Deliver.

That certainly has a sharp bite to it, but you know what?  It works. 

Witty, funny, and maybe even true. 

It's the old adage that "sex sells."

That's a delivery service that I'm sure many would nod their heads to. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Tag Lines Deliver

The Photo Every Man Fears

This was quite an interesting picture to put in the National Museum of Women in the Arts. 

That is one mighty large scissors that lady is holding.  

Uh, she looks a little commando-ish with the jump suit, cap, and sunglasses. 

Is she ready for war or for punishing some bad men?  

I don't believe there is a man out there that isn't spooked by this lady.  

My *** hurts just looking at this. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Photo Every Man Fears

What's The Big Fascination?

From Victoria's Secret to colorful art renditions, medieval metal, and cross-dressing on the neighborhood corner...

This does not seem to be about being angels, unchaste, or even "sexy-wexy "(as I think my mother-in-law calls it). 

So I really have to ask what is all the fascination about here?

Culturally, we seem to be a little OCD. 

If Martians visited us, I don't think they would understand us at all.

Frankly, I'm not sure that I do either!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What's The Big Fascination?

Mikva = Tikva

I thought this was a really special Jewish clock I saw in the store yesterday. 

It promotes holiness and sanctity in the family.

Mikva (Jewish ritual bath) = Tikva (hope) 

Rebirth and renewal (from the immersion in the holy water).

Build your family in sanctity!

Purity leads to sanctity.

The Jewish laws of refraining from sexual relations during Nidda (a women's menstruation) and of immersing in the mikvah at the end of the cycle and before the husband and wife coming back together physically are cornerstones of acting with self-control and a couple dedicating themselves to Hashem first.

The family is the core of raising and educating our children and of the makeup of the community and ultimately of serving G-d in everything we do. 

Self-control (with sexual purity, kosher food, Sabbath time, etc.) is what separates us from animals and how we emulate being more like the angels. 

It is also a way for a husband and wife to elevate their love and show respect for each other as human beings and not just physical beings.  

I never saw a clock that reminds us of these holy concepts and laws like this. 

Also at the top it says another well-known Jewish quote about managing our time wisely:

"The day is short and the task is great."

Another good reminder to maximize the use of our time every day here on Earth and to make the most out of every moment. 

If we dedicate ourselves to serving G-d, raising our families, being productive professionally and personally, and acting with integrity and sanctity always--this is a good life! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Mikva = Tikva

Going Bonkers For Pink

So is this the power of sexuality or branding?

1. Head first for the lingerie sale

2. Picking out pink for that special someone.

3. Forgetting to pay the meter.

All three of these made us laugh. 

People are a combination of spiritual and physical beings. 

Sometimes the physical takes over and that's when the problems start happening!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Going Bonkers For Pink

People Nutrition

This is an risque t-shirt this lady is wearing.

It's a big nutrition label. 

And she's wrapped in it!

I'm not sure if this is a gag or fashion statement or even a sexual thing.

Is she advertising that she's like the food?

What was really funny though is by her butt...it says 

"Moschino chocolate tastes good."

Maybe that should be a black box warning!

Uh, this is way too much information for me. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

People Nutrition

Rhymes With Venus

So these were some funny stories recently...

First, I came across an information system with a comical name. 

Let just say that it rhymes with venus and starts with the letter P. 

Well not exactly that word, but it very, very close. 

When I heard it, I could not help but say, "That's an unfortunate [system] name."

That's the thing about names and acronyms...you really have to think about what they stand for and what they sound like or you can get yourself into some pretty ridiculous situations and problems. 

Second story is when I was talking to this lady and I asked how she was feeling after going through some surgery and then having various complications from it. 

She told me the pain and problems she was having, and the tests and doctors she is continuing to have to see ,and that physical therapy didn't help much. 

I'm nodding and empathizing and then after this went on for a while, all I could say in dismay for all what she had been through was "Ay, yai, yai." 

Then she asked me about how I was doing after my hip surgeries and I told her how grateful I was for the modern medical procedures and G-d's blessing that enabled me to walk again. 

But what was really funny is that she then starts going, "Ay, yai, yai."

And as the conversation wore down, we were both looking at each other and practically saying in harmony, "Ay, yai, yai."

Anyway...sometimes there's nothing left to say but just that. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Rhymes With Venus