The Chalkboard Car

This is a photo of a chalkboard car. 

And on the hood is written "Happy Memorial Day!"

On the side was a design in chalk and on the back even a peace sign. 

Wouldn't it be sort of funny if everyone had a car with handwritten messages on it (as long as they were kept clean and non-aggressive). 

A little entertainment, humor, how ya feeling today, and more. 

It's also nice when we don't take ourselves so seriously and can just have some kosher fun in life. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Chalkboard Car

Lauding Over A Toilet Brush?

Not sure about this video on the SimpleHuman Toilet Brush

On one hand, it's funny to have such a serious video lauding the functionality and design of a toilet brush.

But on the other hand, the video is pretty darn convincing:

- Slim for easy placement and accessible for quick use. 

- A magnetic collar for picking up the brush and housing with one hand--no messy spills.

- With a stainless steel rod for stability and durability.

- Specially innovative design crescent-shaped brush for those hard to reach areas under the rim.

- Easily detachable brush for when you need replacement. 

- Comes in black and white--so fashionable. 

Ok, so now I have to admit that I ordered one of these today.

I'll let you know if it really works (Uh no!) ;-)

Lauding Over A Toilet Brush?

What Type Of IT Error Was That?

So true story...

One of my collegues was giving me a status on an IT problem in the office. 

With a very straight face, he goes, "Yeah, it was an I.D. 10 T error!"

I'm just looking at him with a sort of blank face (I must have been emanating something like, "What are you talking about Willis?")

And he repeats, "An I.D. 10 T error...uh?"

Ok, one more time, I haven't had my coffee yet.

So he goes dotting his head, "What you haven't heard about an I.D. 10 T error?"

"All right, you got me...What is an I.D. 10 T error."

And as I'm saying it out loud and visioning it on paper, his little joke is out of the box.

Hey cut me some slack, I'm a Jewish kid from the Bronx and so I innocently say, "An IDIOT Error?"

Now he's nodding his head up and down in excitement, "An end user--IDIOT--error!"

And he starts laughing his head off. 

Ok boys and girls in IT...rule #16 of office etiquette, please don't call the end-users, idiots.

Back to customer service (and sensitivity) training for some of the jokesters on the team... ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What Type Of IT Error Was That?

Keep 'Em Clean

My friend's mother used to say to always make sure to wear clean underpants in case you end up at at the doctor or in the hospital. 

I guess that's some good advice.

In that context, I thought this was a funny post on facebook about how passwords are like underpants:

"Change them often, keep them private, and never share them with anyone."

Maybe you could add to this list as follows:

- Make them difficult to guess at. 

- Don't use the same one for every occassion.

- Never put them out there in a conspicuous way. 

- And require that you change them at least every 90 day. ;-)

(Source Photo: Facbook)

Keep 'Em Clean

Whiskey Pie

So I picked up a Powerball ticket this week...hard to resist with a jackpot of $360 million!

The store that sells the lottery tickets sells liquor.

I see these 3 bottles side-by-side.

And it's for whiskey.

The whiskey has cherry, pecan, or apple pie flavored liquor.

The ladies pictured on the bottles are sitting on the different pies. 

And this "Pie-oneering" whiskey is called Piehole!

70% proof, and makes for quite some table talk. 

Not surprisingly, they never has this at the kiddush in shule on Shabbat! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Whiskey Pie

Double Take

Cousin Betty sent me a series of funny photo's titled, "It's Called The Right Angle" (via Yehudis Steen). 

These were too funny, and there is certainly no offense intended. 

So pictures can be deceiving, especially if you don't pay attention to the details of who's who and who's sitting on what. ;-)

Double Take

The Most Troubling Sign

I took this photo outside a bathroom at a local facility around Washington, D.C.

This truly is one of the most troubling signs I think you can find, especially when you have to do your thing. 

Why you can't use the bathroom, even if you say pretty please, I don't know.

But I would say, Mr. Toilet here should put his hands down and let people in--for use and not abuse. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Most Troubling Sign

Read My Shirt

They remind me of Ethel and Fred from I Love Lucy.

Do you think that there are any couples out there that this rings true for?  

Maybe just a few, right. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Read My Shirt

Where Do You Find G-d?

My dad told me this joke over the weekend.

It's about the Rabbi who asked the little boy in school... 

"WHERE do you find G-d?"

Raising his voice again...

"Where do you find G-D?"

Stretching out his arms to the heavens....

"Where do YOU find G-d?"  

The boy rushes outside, nearly in tears, and finds his little brother and says:

"The Rabbi thinks we stole G-d."

I'm not sure if the joke itself is really funny or just the way my dad tells it. 

But I can almost see that child panicking and thinking he was being accused of something terrible. 

Anyway, as we all know G-d is everywhere and most importantly inside all of us. 

That's the spark that burns--our soul from above. 

(Source Photo: adapted from here with attribution to Kigaliwire)

Where Do You Find G-d?

What A Good Answer Costs You

This was a funny sign that I came across with a colleague of mine. 

It's a price list for answers.

An answer (presumably incorrect) is 75 cents.

A thoughtful answer (but again incorrect) is 1.25.

A bona fide correct answer is $2.15.

The only thing that's free is getting a dumb look.  

I gave the guy $5 and told him to keep the change. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

What A Good Answer Costs You

News You Can't Count On

This is one of those unbelievable stories that you have to pinch yourself to see if you are dreaming or is it real.

An intern over at the National Transportation Safety Board provided KTVU a list of pilot names for the Asiana plane that crashed in San Francisco last week. 

Only...the pilot names weren't real but a spoof making fun of the airline pilots, their race, and the crash. 

With three people dead (including two 16-year old girls) and 200 wounded (with 2 still in critical condition) this really isn't a laughing matter. 

But the gall of this intern to pass these names off to the news, and then the TV stations blind acceptance of these as fact, plus the newscaster reading them aloud and still apparently not realizing what she was saying...is completely crazy!

Don't believe everything...look closely, listen carefully--is it a joke, an agenda, brainwashing, or maybe at times, some genuine facts you can actually count on. ;-)

News You Can't Count On

Ten Commandments - Good News, Bad News

This was a funny joke told over in the Wall Street Journal today:

When Moses was coming down from Har Sinai, he said to the people of Israel, "I have good news and bad news."

"The good news is I kept him down to ten."

"The bad news is adultery stays!"

Aside from the joke, the editorial posited why there are so many Jewish comedians--from Jackie Mason to Joan Rivers, and from Jack Benny to Jerry Seinfeld?

But maybe it should've asked, why do all the Jewish Comedians names seem to start with a J.

Thinking this through a little more, I realized so many other Jewish comedians out there--Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Billy Crystal, Chelsea Handler, Gene Wilder, George Burns, Jack Black, Larry Fine (from the Three Stooges), Mel Brooks, Rodney Dangerfield, Seth Rogen, The Marx Brothers, Woody Allen, and so many more. 

So what is it that makes the Jewish people so funny?

Ms. Wisse, the author postulates that maybe it has to do with the dichotomy of the Jewish people being historically chosen to receive the Torah and hopefully serve as good examples of G-d's law and morality while at the same time "being targeted by some of the world's most determined aggressors"--Oy vey! and this list is even longer than that of the comedians!

So as Ms. Wisse points out, the Jewish people are on one hand "exalted" by G-d, but attacked by the wicked among nations. 

I guess that would give just about anybody a severe complex--where do I find this one in the DSM? 

Up, down, rewarded, punished, chosen, reviled--can make anyone's head spin--maybe that is why we wear Kippot (head coverings)--I was always taught it was to remember that G-d is above us and always watching and guiding us, but maybe it's also to help us keep our heads on straight with all the mixed messages we get in the world.

People mistake what "chosen" means--they think maybe Jews think they're better than others, but this is a mischaracterization. 

I learned in Yeshiva--that chosen means we have a great burden to bear in fulfilling G-d commandments--when we do it well, things are good, but when we fail, we learn the hard way. 

It's good to be Jewish--and it would be even better, if Jews accepted themselves and each other. 

None of us are perfect--some of us are more imperfect than others.

But we are still brothers and sisters. 

There is a Torah, but even the most righteous among us, don't do everything right--is anyone free from sin?

I always believed that religion is our guidepost, but as we are taught "every person is a world unto themselves" and that there is room for all of us to serve Hashem.

We each have to find the spark within and fulfill Hashem's destiny that he has for each of us--we all have what we can give and we should do it with a pure heart. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Home Videos)

Ten Commandments - Good News, Bad News

A Little Temper

I was reminded this week of a kid I grew up with who used to get so angry, he'd say sort of half-seriously at the target of his wrath, "I'm gonna kill your whole family with one punch!"

In this context, here's something that really happened to me this week...

This guy I know who frequently has a temper was getting angry about something again. 

And I said to him in a friendly way, "What's wrong (now)?"

He says, as if I should know all his frustrations, "You're kidding me, right?"

Seeing that this happens fairly often with him, I say, "You know you have an anger management problem."

He says all frustrated with me, "I'm gonna punch you right in the face!"

I said, "You see what I mean." ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Little Temper

Life Is A Real Hoot

So a couple of funny things happened at the doctor lately...

My daughter had her molars removed and in the office they had an urn labeled "Ashes of Problem Patients."  

In the hospital, I saw someone coming in complaining of shortness of breath and on the computer monitor, they simply abbreviated it next to their name as "SOB".

On another note, had an awful experience trying to make some darn hotdogs tonight (I can't cook for beans!): I left the hot dogs out on the counter to thaw for longer than expected, threw them in oven which wasn't working, took them out and put them in a pot of boiling water, and finally fried them up with some Ah-So sauce--yes, they were absolutely disgusting.

Life is a real hoot, isn't it? ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Life Is A Real Hoot

Getting To Know You

This was a funny picture that my wife took today.

It is a guy sitting in the restaurant surrounded by women.

He is eating and reading.

The book is "What Do Women Want?"

What--like most men don't have a clue how women think!

Anyway, sort of an interesting way to take a break from the workday.

Pondering the ultimate mystery men seem to want to know. 

Anyway, I know what my women wants and that's for me to take out the garbage. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

Getting To Know You

Bathroom Kudos

Going to a restaurant the other night, I stepped into the men's room for a minute and noticed this sticker on the right of the mirror that said "Great Work" in big yellow letters on the red background. 

I wondered what a strange sign to put in such a private setting as if we need applause for going to the bathroom or washing our hands. 

Then again, if you've seen many men's bathrooms, it could certainly be a time for kudos when it is kept clean and people use good personal hygiene--hence, the other sticker on the left, "It's cool to care!"

The frog sticker in the middle, he's just keeping an eye on things and thanking everyone for the job well done. 

This is a funny commentary on our society these days where people seem to need a pat on the back for everything--even the highly mundane and personal. 

Presumably, going to the men's room will never be the same boring, uncaring event again--at least at this fine eating establishment. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bathroom Kudos

GW Valentines Day

So this is how they celebrate Valentines Day at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. 

These posters of George Washington were plastered everywhere and each one had the big kiss lips on it as well as some provocative saying penned on its forehead. 

This one in particular sort of got right to the intimate point saying "My place or yours?"

I believe this was the student's attempt at humor and hopefully meant no disrespect to good old GW. 

Anyway, kids will be kids--they celebrate in all sorts of interesting and innovative ways. 

Happy love to you and yours! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

GW Valentines Day

Not A Cloud In The Sky

I thought this picture was sort of humorous. 

This lady is walking down the street with this big green umbrella, but there is NOT a cloud in the sky. 

In fact, you can see in the upper right that it is a beautiful and clear sunny day. 

Also, where she is walking, it is clearly shady and cool--so the umbrella is not needed as a sun screen either. 

From a technology annoyance perspective, it is long past time to invent something more creative than a cheap, crappy umbrella--like from Charlie Chaplin and The Umbrella--to protect us from elements. 

Someone, please come up with a push-button protective bubble that envelops us--clear for visibility, of course--and keeps us dry and temperate. 

A beautiful, futuristic clear dome over the city would be nice too, but probably cost prohibitive and not as adjustable for each indiividual and their respective needs. 

Hopefully, someday soon. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Not A Cloud In The Sky

Democracy Built On More Than Hoya

There is a funny joke that is timely for election season, and it goes something like this...

"It was election time and the politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. 

They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. 

The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited.   

'I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!' The crowd went wild, shouting 'Hoya! Hoya!'.   

The  politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. 'I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!'  'Hoya! Hoya!' cried the crowd, stomping their feet.   

'I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!' The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting 'Hoya!  Hoya!  Hoya!'   

After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle. 

'Sure,' the Chief said, 'but be careful not to step in the hoya.'"  :-)

So when candidates get on their soapboxes and promises are being made on the left and on the right, you can only but wonder what is a promise that is sincere and will be kept and what is a promise that is for garnering votes and will be ignored. 

When the mic is unknowingly on and you hear something you weren't meant to hear, it is hard not to wonder about true intentions. 

The New York Times calls these "moments of political candor," while the Wall Street Journal (30 March 2012) calls it "moment[s] of political contempt."  

The Journal asks why we would not be told the truth about intentions with the implication that it is something that the candidates do not want us to know or that we would not approve of. 

Who are these candidates really? Does anyone really know when words are but bargaining chips for winning elections, rather than true commitments of the heart. 

It is scary, when the truth is obscured by empty words that change with the audience, and then votes end up based on false promises, vagaries, and disappointments.

When it comes to elections--Is the truth out there? Does it exist? 

People deserve candor, sincerity, and to know where candidates really stand on the issues, so they can vote for what and whom they really believe in.

Democracy is built on more than rolling hills and valleys filled with hoya--the truth is it's foundation. 

(Source Joke: here and Source Photo: here)

Democracy Built On More Than Hoya

Who Are The Kids And Who The Adults

This video is hilarious as the little girl acts out what we look and sound like at work. 

She is actually so good, I think she would qualify for many of the postings today at USAJOBS. :-)

Perhaps, we all need to be ourselves again at work, rather than cliche and acronym robots. 

Then we could actually get some real work done, at least when we aren't busy acting like children!

Enjoy and laugh a little.

Who Are The Kids And Who The Adults