Say W.H.O.

So a colleague submitted this photo to me to share on my blog. 

So funny!

This was posted by Federal Occupational Health in the organization's gym.

Publisher is the World Health Organization.

I don't think this translates well from Switzerland. 

I'm not going to say another word.

(Source Photo: Colleague)

Say W.H.O.

Panda Love Express

This was interesting on the sign in Washington, D.C.

An advertisement for a dating site with a picture of a panda bear apparently with love in it's eyes.

(Note: I don't know what Panda.com site is as it wasn't working when I tested it--hopefully, nothing bad.)

Juxtaposed with the sun glaring off the window on the building next to it, made it seem like it was just calling out to the singles--who are looking to meet Mr./Mrs. Right--for a new beginning. 

Bees do it. Birds do it. Of course, even panda bears do it. 

Everyone should have a chance to find their soulmate and live happily ever after. 

Social sites, gatherings, or personal introductions, whatever brings people together--it's a beautiful thing. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Panda Love Express

Loving Your Sheep

I guess people love all sorts of things. 

This one lady had a bumper sticker on her truck that said, "I [Heart] Love Sheep."

First, I thought the messaging was about loving "The Shepherd"--either her husband, a paramour, or a reference to the Messiah. 

Then I took a second take, and realized, NO not the shepherd, but the actual sheep--she loves. 

Well, people love their dogs, cats, horses, and so why not their sheep?

I don't know, but as a "city boy," loving your sheep never would really occur to me, then again I was sheltered in Yeshiva. 

Anyway, after I took a quick photo of the professed love sticker, this lady starts yelling after me about why am I looking at her car.  

I responded, "No, not the car--the sticker (about the sheep)."

She's like, "Oh, that's okay then!"--like of course, it's about my love of sheep. 

So here, this post is dedicated to everyone that loves their sheep or shepard or whatever rocks their particular boats. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Loving Your Sheep

Making a Right, Left, or Straight

This was a funny sign to an Ethiopian cafe in downtown Washington, D.C. 

"When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left."

(and next to it is another sign that says, "Money isn't everything, but it keeps the kids in touch.")

So what type of person are you?

When the going gets tough and nothing is going right, where do you go--to the coffee shop, door on the left--or more seriously do you:

- Close your eyes and keep marching forward like a good soldier?

- Get scared off, turn around, and run the other way?

- Take a break or slow down, stopping long enough to figure out what's wrong, and come up with solutions? 

Maybe you do a little of all three--sort of the Curly Shuffle. 

But aside from faith in G-d (and coffee-drinking), perhaps two really critical traits for success in life are resilence in the face of adversity and your problem-solving skills.

That doesn't mean that you never plow on or turn back--these are appropriate at times too--but that you know when to turn right, left, or make a straight dash to the goal line. ;-)

(Source Photo: Danielle Blumenthal)

Making a Right, Left, or Straight

Hey, Pay Attention

It's funny, when the way forward is uneven, broken, or fraught with danger, and someone just puts out a sign (and orange cone) warning you to be careful. 

Sure, it's the responsible thing to do--protect people from misstepping. 

But even with the largest, loudest warnings, there always seem to be some people who just go right ahead anyway and tempt fate--they step on that 2nd broken stair.

Maybe it doesn't give way (this time for this person) or maybe it does.

But they are too busy, too much in a rush, or too cocky to pay heed or else they like to play the odds--hey, what are the odds that something will actually happen to "me"?

The more cautious, perhaps smarter folks look for another way--using their ingenuity to go over, under, or around the obstacle in their path--in this case stepping over the broken 2nd step. 

Other may yet be deterred altogether and just turn backwards, giving up on their trek or just stop in their tracks like a deer in the headlights frozen by indecision.

I'd suggest that it is well worth it to take the time to look around you, sense the environment, and make a sound judgement before giving up or stepping stupidly into the ditch, minefield, quicksand, or on the broken step. 

It's much harder to get out of trouble than to avoid it to begin with. 

I joke with one of my colleagues that they always have time to do things a second time (always!), but because they are rushing, never enough time--or focus--to do it right the first one. 

Watch your step, because some of them of definitely broken. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Hey, Pay Attention

Only Game In Town

This was a funny sign up in Harpers Ferry yesterday, Thanksgiving Day. 

Outside this restaurant, it says, "Only OPEN Place in Town, GREAT Food."

I suppose if it's the only game in town, then whatever food they have is by definition "great"-compared to going hungry that is. 

Life is very much like this--where everything is relative. 

If I have too many choices--how do I choose? 

Whatever I choose, I may second guess myself that maybe another one would've been better. 

It's like when I go out with my daughter to eat, somehow whatever she orders is always better than what I got!

But when choice is limited or non-existent, well then "beggars can't be choosey."

Essentially, your happy with what you have-- perhaps, something is often better than nothing. 

But really it's much more than that, because if you look closely at others, you realize that what you have is actually a pretty darn good lot in life--so don't be envious, jealous, or be too quick to want to change places with your neighbor. 

Obviously, this was a very apropos sign for Thanksgiving--where we need to learn to be grateful for everything we have in life. 

It is our basket, and we wouldn't want to trade it for anything in the world (and if you did, you'd be sorry afterwards). ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Only Game In Town

Thank You To Our Warfighters

I took a photo of this wonderful sign on this construction truck. 

It says:

"To All The Men And Women Of Our Armed Forces

Thank You!

United We Stand."

Next week on Wednesday is Veterans Day, but feeling gratitude to those who stand and fight for our freedom is not just a one day a year message. 

Let's always remember that freedom is not free! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Thank You To Our Warfighters

When In Doubt

I like this sign that I saw in a local place of business that buys and sells goods. 

"When in doubt--PASS!"

How many times are we faced with a challenging situation, and we are not quite sure what to do.

We hem and haw and go back and forth in our minds whether we should really do it?

But like my wife and I came to with decision-making in general a while ago, "If it isn't yes, then it's no."

When that little something inside is giving you pause, doubt, and holding you back...there is usually a very good reason. 

STOP yourself right there--listen to your gut and instinct.

If you don't, you'll pay the price afterwards for making a bad call that you knew deep down was a big no-no to begin with. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy and Dossy Blumenthal)

When In Doubt

Smelt It Dealt It

As kids, there always used to be someone who would run around holding their nose, and yelling at the smallest sign of someone's flatulence...Eew!

In turn, the other kids would all chime in: "The person who smelt it, dealt it!"

Might as well push the responsibility where it rightfully belongs--uh, maybe. 

This is what kids do--they are not politically correct in the slightest!

Are adults any better really?

I've seen grown men and women start holding their noses and waving their hands in front of their faces when someone is stinking up the local air.

In particular, this happens quite a bit on places like the crowded Metro and elevators...going down. 

People are unforgiving when the air is foul. 

Personally, I am very sensitive to bad smells and hot air--my A/C is running full blast all around the year...even in Winter, seriously!

When I saw this sign in a storefront window that said, "Free Smells," I thought to myself, gee we got enough smells to last a lifetime, and that's why fresh air and nature is so appealing to the good 'ol olfactory senses. 

Free smells...unless it's fresh flowers or some savory dish to eat--you can have it--free or not, I frankly don't give a damn.  

My personal belief is that an odor is far more likely to cause you a gag sensation than put a refreshing smile on your ugly face. 

Good etiquette, keep your smells to yourself. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Smelt It Dealt It

Bathroom Etiquette 101

So I was out and about and needed to go to the bathroom.

I stopped at a local store where I was and asked if I could please use theirs.

They were nice (not all stores are) and said yes. 

Inside the bathroom on the tank was this hilarious sign with a jingle reminding patrons about bathroom etiquette, as follows:

"If you sprinkle [heart] when you tinkle [heart] please be a sweety [heart] and wipe the seaty."

Hey, a reasonable enough request--everyone needs to cooperate on these things. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Bathroom Etiquette 101

Your Bowling Help Desk At Your Service

This was the sign in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building Bowling Ally that I mentioned in a post yesterday.

[Note: I've removed the phone number so don't try calling.] 

Yeah, I've heard about a help desk for a lot of things, especially for Information Technology, but for bowling???

Thinking about calling a help desk for trouble with bowling [equipment], I couldn't help imaging how this may go and chuckling a little:

"Hello, this is the bowling help desk at your service--what is the nature of your bowling emergency?"

Or

"Press 1 if your bowling shoes are too tight.

Press 2 if you've dropped the bowling ball on your foot.

Press 3 if you've bowled 2 or more gutter balls in a row.

Press 4 if the bowling machine is in a frustratingly stuck position.

Press 5 if you've lost your bowling ball or need a replacement.

Press 6 if you need additional scoring sheets.

Press 7 if you're a lousey bowler and need bumpers to help your game. 

Press 8 if your fingers are caught in the ball and you can't get them out. 

Press 9 if you'd just rather be ice skating or going to the movies. 

Press the # key, if you need to speak to a bowling representative."

Lastly, I wonder if they open a help desk ticket for the bowling challenged and what their response time is. 

Yep, help is only a call away when you've got a bowling problem in the works. 

Now, if only they could fix the highly troubled DC Metro system--there should definitely be a robust help desk for that!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Your Bowling Help Desk At Your Service

Can't Find My Dentures

This was a funny sign this morning in the elevator.

Someone found a set of dentures on the table in the lobby!

Uh, what was someone doing taking out their dentures and putting them on a public table in the lobby? 

I remember my beloved Opa (grandfather) who had quite a set of dentures (years ago they couldn't as readily save people's teeth as they can today). 

When my sister and I would go over to my Opa and Oma for Shabbat lunch after synagogue, and sometime right before Birchas Hamazon (grace after meals), my grandfather would invariably end up taking out his dentures and we would all laugh together at how silly those things looked. 

But thank G-d for those dentures, beause I don't know how people would eat solid food or smile a non-gummy smile without them. 

Of course, I hope whoever lost their dentures in the lobby isn't going crazy searching for them, sees the lost and found sign, and claims them soon. 

Anyway, can you imagine going down to the lobby and seeing someone's false teeth just laying there randomly on the table or when they go to the front desk to claim their lost dentures, and the person behind the desk says, "Well Sir (or Madam), can you put them in your mouth and prove that they are yours?" ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Can't Find My Dentures

That's Getting A LIttle Personal

This was a funny advertisement hanging in Hot Topic in the mall. 

It says: "Get in our pants"--well, excuse you!

Using sexual come-ons to sell, sell, sell...is not a new marketing strategy. 

As they say in the biz world, "Sex sells!"

Perhaps a more targeted ad about quality, fit, and pricing would be more to the product point.

But why sell with facts, when you can sell with fantasy. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

That's Getting A LIttle Personal

Stop Harassment Now

I took this photo on the Washington, D.C. Metro. 

"If It's Unwanted, It's Harassment."

Only a day or two later, some ladies came to me complaining that they had been harassed on the Metro.

Apparently, they had been on the platform waiting for a train and a young man was first staring at them, then coming around them menancingly, and then following them. 

Thank G-d, they got away, but it was a frightening situation that left them wanting to actually move away. 

Residents in the metro D.C area and customers of Metro should not have to ride in fear. 

We need more police and surveillance cameras on the Metro system now!

Signs are a great reminder, but law enforcement action is what is really needed and called for. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Stop Harassment Now

No Soup For You!

Remember the "Soup Nazi" in Seinfeld?

After some silly insulting encounter, the Soup Nazi refuses to give Jerry any soup saying in his deep accent, "No soup for you."

Well, when I walked in the local pizza store and saw this sign on the counter, I couldn't help but laugh a little.

It's the real thing...and it says, "Sorry No Soups Tonight."

And it's sort of sloppily written on a guest check and placed in a Coca Cola holder. 

I wasn't too disappointed with the news though, since who gets the soup at a pizza joint anyway?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

No Soup For You!

Cash And Books

I took this photo in downtown Washington, D.C. today.

It was interesting to me for a number of reasons.

First, the amount and variety of advertising here (and there was more that is not even pictured here) was a little bit incredible, especially in light of the single customer at the stand.

Second, this vendor is buying the books back from the university students at a hotdog stand--yeah, more than a little weird, no?

Aside from the fact that students pay an exorbitant amout for textbooks and then get pennies on the dollar back, now you are encouraged to make your transaction with a street vendor in the cold of December.

Anyway, you think anyone will notice this cash for books stand? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Cash And Books

A Richy Rich Reward

Check out this lost dog sign in Las Olas.

Do you notice anything unusual?

Look at the amount of the reward for finding this canine.

---Yes, $10,000!!!

A healthy Teacup Yorkie can run you as much as $2,000.

So this reward is 5x that and this kelev is on meds!

Amazing the meaning of money and dogs. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Richy Rich Reward

Micromanaging Your Customers

Standing in line at the store the other day, I've got to to say that I sort of really resented this ridiculous check out line.

We are not in kindergarten and do not need little footsies and signs to tell us where to stand, how far apart, and who is up next in the line.

Actually, it's really not all that complicated--we can figure out to lineup in front of the counter and wait our turn civilly.

Micromanaging your customers (or for that matter your employees) is a pretty stupid idea.

Get your own house in order--and do a good job servicing the people that are paying you (or working to make you a success).

How about you take your little feet over behind the counter and get the line moving that much faster and stop making us wait so long to begin with to give you our business.

Happy Black Friday...loosen the reins a little won't you and you'll find a happier customer (and employee) base and make some more money in the process. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Micromanaging Your Customers

Turducken Is Real

So I thought Turducken was a joke (a fowl i.e. foul dish).

Everyone has regular turkey onThanksgiving, right--even if they don't like it!

Well maybe you get a pass if your vegetarian, vegan, or whatnot. 

But no, here a genuine advertisement at a lcoal eatery for--you got it--turducken.

Turkey, Duck, and Chicken--combined!

$130 bucks feeds 12...on second thought, I rather not. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Turducken Is Real

Give 'Em A Choice

This is a funny sign from Germany for exiting...you can go this way or that.

I guess that's a choice...even if they both take you to the same place.

It's like my dad said to me the other day, "Give 'em a choice: take it or leave it!"

It's true--we can choose--and if leave it, then we have another choice, "Walk away or run!" ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Martin Fisch)

Give 'Em A Choice