Showing posts with label Shut Up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shut Up. Show all posts

September 18, 2018

Never Say Anything

So I overhear this conversation...

Woman:  "Never say never and never say always."

Man: "Well then what should I say?"

Woman: "Just keep your mouth shut!"

Yeah, that's one for the books.

Anyway, thinking about this a little more--there is an exception to every rule. 

Never say never is itself violating this rule of thumb. 

Hence one conclusion perhaps is that many rules are so stupid to begin with! :-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 24, 2017

Going From Hearing To Listening

I thought this was pretty good. 

How do we go from hearing to listening?

We have to be silent (and contemplative)!

- Check out the letters in the word silent.

- They are exactly the same as the letters in the word listen.

Keep the mouth shut and really listen to the what the other person has to say, and you might actually learn something. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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August 13, 2016

Shut Up In Shul

So today, I went to synagogue for Shabbat. 

I sat by one of my friends and in between some prayers was catching up with him from the week. 

Okay, I know that I shouldn't be talking (so much) in shule, but it is an important way for me to connect with other Jewish people and community. 

Then all of a sudden, another person says to me without any warning, "Shut up!"

At first, I thought it was a joke, then he says it again with a serious face, and I was so embarrassed. 

And only partially for me, but maybe even more for him.

What type of person uses that type of language to someone and in synagogue. 

He didn't say, can you keep it down or let's focus on our prayers or something human and kind. 

Instead, he talked to me like an animal and I couldn't believe it and tonight is Tisha B'Av, when Hashem twice destroyed the Jewish temple in Jerusalem (in part it is said because of hatred of Jew against Jew). 

It reminded me of how I saw some horrible videos on Facebook this week of Chasidim from Neturei Karta and Satmar protesting against Israel and their fellow Jewish people...what a complete sickness to wish evil and destruction against your own brothers and sisters, rather than helping them to build and grow a beautiful state in service to G-d and a light unto nations. 

In synagogue today, while I was silent before this person's horrible words of rebuke, my friend said to him, "This is how you talk?  You say shut up [and in shul]!"

I appreciated that he said something, and the other guy actually apologized then.

I hope Hashem can forgive me for talking in shule and the people who treat each other badly. 

I am sad at how twisted religion has gotten to some, and know this is not the way it is supposed to be. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 23, 2015

Shut Up, Pleez!

Some people just don't know when to turn down the volume or shut it off, altogether. 

Perhaps they don't have enough to do, are craving attention, trying to make a name for themselves, are plain 'ol destructive, or are simply acting the fool and looking for their next victim.

But they have to get into everyone else's business, telling them how to do their jobs, taking over and hostage any meeting they can shove their way into with their private agendas, emailing everyone and their mother with their henpecking of the day, and demanding their needs are the priority and rises up over everyone elses--no matter whom or what else is going on. 

These people think they have an open mic and they are going to grab it, hold it, and never let it go. 

You beg them to stop, to control themselves, to work out their issues constructively, to give others a chance, to get in line, to let you do your job and they should do theirs, to get some situational and personal awareness, but rather than putting the mic down....

No, they see your calm and rationale requests for peace as squirming capitulation and the opportunity to hit you again and again. 

Everyone else has already given up and just won't respond or even acknowledge the Chicken Little screaming over and over again "The sky is falling"--when it isn't, and when so much important work is getting done by very hardworking and good people, who know how to act professionally. 

The kids nowadays say it straight up, "shut your pie hole!"

And that is really such a good idea. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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January 17, 2015

Temptation Or Accusation?

So on the way home from synagogue today, my wife and I are talking about what happened to the renown Harvard constitutional and criminal lawyer, Alan Dershowitz.

He was accused of having repeatedly had sex with an underage woman (while he was married with children and grandchildren).

I explained to my wife not to believe these accusations, that in my mind, Dershowitz was upstanding and completely innocent, and that this could happen to anyone.

And I went on to tell a funny story from a day earlier...

I was at a retirement party for one of my staff who served the country for 51 years.

At the party, I am going around talking with people and helping to make everyone comfortable--until I didn't.

One guy who was a retired manager and had come back to work as a contractor calls me over to his table to introduce me to his wife. 

He's motioning to her and saying how she is his most beloved wife.

And just joking around trying to keep a straight face, I say, "Hmm, she's a lot different than the other woman I see you with every day."

[Yeah, I don't know what came over me (maybe a little to much drink--any drink is too much for this dry mouth).]

His wife, is like, "Ah ha! Some other woman in the office..."

And he's leaning back, waving his hands and mouthing to me, "Shut up Andy!"

He goes, "Okay Andy, you just wait until I meet your wife!"

Then, we all broke out laughing...just Andy being a wise guy again!

So, I said to my wife, you see how easy it is for someone to make a false accusation (and how quickly people can be to think the worst of others).

It really is important to treat people as "innocent until proven guilty."

As for Andy's hijinks...I'm banned from any more parties for the next few weeks. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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October 9, 2013

Think B4 U Speak

This was a sign hung in a local high school.

And thought this was pretty good. 

Think before you speak...

THINK = True + Helpful + Inspiring + Necessary + Kind

If it doesn't meet those criteria...shush, or in plain language--keep a lid on it! 

Remember, two ears and one mouth--so speak half as much as you listen. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)
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February 10, 2012

Speak Up or Shut Up

We've all been there--organizations that are run by the king or queen and their proverbial gang of 6 or 7 or 8 or 9.

These are the organizations that are dominated by powerful, but narcissistic leadership (notice I do not call them leaders--because they are not). 

According to Forbes, (11 January 2012) in an article entitled Why Narcissistic CEOs Kill Their Companies, in these organizations, the c-suite is dominated by those showing four narcissistic personality traits:

- Exploitative--They are in charge and everyone else had better respect--or better yet worship--them. Typically they are surrounded by "yes men" and eager beavers, ready to please at just about all costs. 

- Authoritarian--They insist on "being the center of attention," they always know better, are always right even in the face of evidence to the contrary, and with their people, it's their way or the highway. 

- Arrogant--They are full of themselves and usually something else :-) and believe they are superior and therefore entitled to their positions of power and stature.

- Self-Absorbed--They admire and and are preoccupied with themselves, and not focused on what's ultimately good for the organization, the mission, and its people. 

In such organizations, and with such pitiful leadership, generally we find cultures of fear and what Harvard Business Review (January-February 2012) says are organizations where people "are afraid to speak honestly."

In these dysfunctional organizations with inept leadership, the workforce is stunted--they cannot genuinely contribute or grow and where organizational candor, trust, and collaboration is low, organizational performance is predictably poor.

HBR suggests that greater candor and sharing is possible by "breaking meetings into smaller groups," assigning people to "notice and speak up when something is being left unsaid," and to "teach 'caring-criticism'"--where input is provided constructively and not personally attacking and where honest feedback is viewed as "generous, rather than critical."

I think these suggestions may help organizations that are fundamentally well-run by caring and professional leaders, but when narcissists and power mongers rule the day, then the culture is not speak up, but rather shut up. 

One of the things that I have been fortunate to experience and learn is that diplomacy from the top-down goes a long way in creating a professional and productive work culture. 

When people are given respect and the freedom to speak up constructively, when they can work in true-teaming environments, and when relationships matter more than winning the day, then the workforce and all the individuals therein have the opportunity to grow to their potential. In speak up organizations, people can voice their opinions, provide valuable input, and contribute to the mission--both the people and the organization thrive. 

In contrast, when the workplace is shut up, because of narcissistic and poor leadership, the workforce is essentially shut down--they are in essence muzzled in speech and ultimately in deed. These organizations choke off their own talent and lifeblood, while their head swells from the arrogance and power at the top.

Diplomacy is a skill not only in international relations, but in life and in the workplace, and diplomatic leaders are not narcissists trying to wield and hold power, but rather polished and professional leaders who foster a culture of speak up and team up--they are ready to take their organizations and people to new levels of productivity, growth, and meaning.

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