Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

April 3, 2019

Relax, It's Just Sex

Just thought this was a really funny-sad display in the window of this store in Tel Aviv. 

It says:
Relex It's Just Sex
Forget that Relax is spelled wrong. 

But advertising for sexual items in such a casual way...like it's sex and what's the big deal.

Maybe I am old school, where sex actually meant a deep personal relationship and emotional intimacy. 

...Where you partner was also your spouse and best friend.

Now--unfortunately--it's just sex!

I think as a society that we have lost something here. 

...Something important. 

If it's just sex, and it's just with anyone, then what does that leave for us with that someone truly special in our lives? ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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February 9, 2019

Choosing Good Over Vice

Please see my new article in The Times of Israel, called "Choosing Good Over Vice."
But yet, if everyone would just act out on each other based on their unbridled wants and desires, oy vey what a truly terrible world that would be...From uncontrolled desires for food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, honor, money, power, sex, and more–it seems like everyone has their little secret fetish. Whether it's coming from their head, their heart, or down below...the key questions is how much can they control themselves.

However, inside us, our soul, like the Ten Commandments in the Holy Ark, guide us so that we aren't just animals chasing game or tail, but are human beings trying to become angels.

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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February 3, 2019

Tag Lines Deliver

Ouch!  How is that for a tag line?
Unlike Your Boyfriend, We Deliver.

That certainly has a sharp bite to it, but you know what?  It works. 

Witty, funny, and maybe even true. 

It's the old adage that "sex sells."

That's a delivery service that I'm sure many would nod their heads to. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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August 25, 2018

An 80-Year-Old's Life Philosophy

So today an 80-year-old Algerian man sat our table for the Kiddush lunch after synagogue services. 

And he talked quite a bit about his life philosophy and told me I was a good listener. :)

1) TRUE LOVE IS LIKE AN ORANGE:
A man and women that are meant to be together are like two sides of an orange.  With his hands, he showed us putting the two sides together, twisting, and he goes, "You see it just clicks!"

2) WHEN LOVE IS NOT TRUE ITS LIKE TWO BIRDS IN A CAGE:
When a man and woman are not soulmates, maybe they just are meant to be together for a time to have children or make a home temporarily. But then, the birds need to leave the cage, and be free!

3) BURIED TOGETHER:
"When people are soulmates, they are buried together, next to each other. Otherwise, one is buried in Greece and the other in Hawaii, and it makes no difference because they are going their own ways in Heaven."

4) 80 HERE AND 20 HERE
He pointed to his belly and said, "I'm 80 here." And then pointed to his groin area, and said, "But I'm 20 here!"

5) WOMEN ONLY UNDER 40:
While he is 80, he claims to be robust in the bedroom, and "will never be with a woman over 40...not a day over!"  He said, "It's like an old Cadillac!" Moreover, he said, if a woman is "not perfect" and has a scar like from having her appendix out, "forget it!"

6) WRITING, PLAYING GUITAR, AND DANCING:
He said, "I like to write, play guitar and dance." And with his arms, he makes some swoops like he is on the dance floor having a good time. 

7) PEOPLE ARE LIKE CANDLES:
People are like candles.  The body is like the wax that burns down, but the soul is the flame that always rises up.  In the end, the soul ascends to heaven just like the flame. 

8) INFINITELY STUPID:
He pointed to the yarmulke on top of his head and said:  "You know what that means?  This means that there is no limit to how stupid some people can be!"  

8) YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK:
I asked what he did for a living, and he said "Real estate, Jewelry, and even fashion salons."  I said, "Wow, you're very fortunate!"  He said, "No, in life, you make your own luck!"

10) RESPECT ME IF YOU WANT:
"You respect me, and I respect you. But frankly, I don't care if you respect me or not. You can do what you want, and so will I!" I said, "Ok, see you next week and we'll talk again."  He said, "Maybe I will or maybe I won't talk to you ever again."

Like his philosophy or not, I never saw an 80-year-old with so much energy, life, and personality. Honestly, there are a lot of people half his age, who act more dead than alive. It was incredible to see this ageless person and hear what that's like. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal 
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July 2, 2018

How Do I Choose?

So I thought this was an interesting topic for the sermon on Shabbat by Ben Shemony. 

It was about how we are confronted in life with whether to follow our impulses or our values. 

I think there is a lot to this topic...

Some may see it as the little good angel standing over one shoulder and another bad angel standing over the other trying to convince us what to do when it's decision time.  

Others may be perpetually torn between temptations or pleasures of materialism and the flesh versus of pursuing what you know to be spiritually good and right in this world. 

Either way, as human beings, we are a complex make-up of both body and soul.

Do we give in to temptation and do what feels good--more money, more food, more clothes and jewelry, more houses, cars, and yachts, more vacations, more carnal pleasures from the proverbial "wine, women, and song" or do we pursue the path of spirituality, serving our maker, caring and giving and doing good for others and the world?  

It sounds simple, but our impulses tell us one thing and our values tell us another. 

Are we being selfish or selfless?

Perhaps, too much of anything is bad for us--even too much giving and selflessness--we need to care for ourselves too--we are mortal, we have needs, we have to nourish ourselves, and we need to live. 

But you can't be a glutton or a slave to your impulses--you can't take and not give, your can't indulge until you make yourself sick, or take at the expense of and harm to others.

Like all things in life, there is a need for balance.

Certainly our spirit should guide our animal. 

If and when our animal is dictating to our spirit then we are in real trouble. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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November 9, 2017

Couple Arguing Loudly About Sex and Pregnancy On The DC Metro {Funny}



This couple is arguing loudly in front of everyone on the Metro in Washington, D.C. 

She claims the coming baby is his, and that he needs to take a paternity test. 

He says it's impossible that it's his because she's 3 months pregnant and they haven't had sex in 5 months!

This goes on and on in a most hilarious and boisterous way, and they even try and involve some of the innocent bystanders on the train. 

Always a show in this crazy town and it's not just the politics! ;-)

(Source Video: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 1, 2017

A Sexless Generation

Oy vey, the statistics are not good. 

Sex in America is on the decline (and no, this is not an April Fools' joke)!

Based on this who can argue with President Trump that we need to "Make America Great Again"--and that should include sexual vitality along with military might, economic competitiveness, and social justice.

In the early 1990 and 2000's , Americans had sex on average about 60 to 65 times a year.

Moreover, for married couples, who are at the high end of the sexual spectrum, this is down from 67 in 1989 to just 56 times a year now.

This is a reduction of 9 , which doesn't sound like much--however that actually comes to 14% less nookie!

And geez, that's less than once a week! :-(

What's weird is that the statistics show that Americans working longer hours and watching more pornography actually is tied to a "busier sex life."

To me the obvious answer is that people are living too much in a virtual world of loneliness and nothingness. 

And they have lost touch with each other in the real world and have become more selfish and less giving personally and sexually. 

So while some people are busy infighting and infatuated with reading and generating all the fake news these days, it seems like they are missing the real disheartening and unloving American news of the times. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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March 16, 2017

Sexuality Sells Sometimes

So this was the entranceway to a store in Florida. 

As you can see, the center mannequin is set up sitting in not a very modest way for a lady. 

And worse, there is a little boy mannequin situated right next to her. 

It was funny to see people stop to look at this fake sexual scene.

But no amount of sexuality could sell the junk that the store was pushing. 

So strutting your stuff or showing a little skin--or in this case hard plastic--may get the customer's attention or even in the store.

However, it certainly doesn't close the deal, although something else here would be better off shut or as my mother-in-law says, "close your yap!" ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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October 9, 2016

Losing All Political Perspective

So here we go again into our politicians pants to uncover every locker-room lewd remark they have made. 

Yes, it's abhorrent and criminal for our politicians, religious leaders, coaches or anyone for that matter to rape or inappropriately sexually touch someone else against their will. 

The problem is that we are losing all common sense and perspective. 

When we are focusing almost exclusively at this point on getting that next verbal sexual gotcha on a hot mic from people running for office, instead of on what they've actually done (good and bad) in their lives, then we are being lead astray by powerful elites fighting for and to keep the power they most greedily worship.

Words do have meaning, don't get me wrong, especially when we hurt someone with them or when they demonstrate true moral lapses in the person.

But when words are taken out of context, exaggerated, or dug up from decades ago just to sling dirt then we have a powerful political machine that is working to hurt and not help our political process. 

What's even worse is that we are becoming the laughing stock in the world in the process of the mud fest. 

An article yesterday in China mocks the chaotic U.S. political system as a highly flawed "political show."

If we and the media remain gripped in people's political pants here, then the real and potentially catastrophic issues will continue to not be on the table or our lips. 

The effect is that rather than being able to effect positive change at home and in the world, we are heads down in the sand, as for example:

Russia deploys nuclear-capable missiles on Poland's (and NATO's) doorstep

ISIS continues it's global reign of terror and remains strong and determined

War crimes are being committed and "red lines" crossed daily in Syria

- Iran and North Korea continue their nuclear hated-filled march on the U.S. and western allies

- Bioterrorism is an increasingly dangerous threat as agents are "relatively inexpensive, easy to produce, conceal and transport" 

- Cyberwarfare is now being considered an existential threat, even as our democratic elections themselves are under attack by the latests hacks from Guccifer 2.0 and DC Leaks. 

Our national debt has increased $9 trillion (almost doubled) in the last 8 years and is threatening key pillars of our social entitlement system, including social security and medicare. 

The global economy is on the rocks as the impact from easy credit sputters and future growth is stunted.

As these and other risks increase to the U.S., our leadership remains in a narcissistic fugue with their desire for power and sham legacies, and politics have become grotesquely about killing off the opposition by actual death or by a thousand cuts of verbal mutilation.  

Sex sells and has us mesmerized, but we are missing out on all the real world drama, danger, and any meaningful dialogue. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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January 17, 2016

Love 'em OR Leave 'em

An age old question, "Love 'em or leave 'em?"

I heard one young man say, "I love her...but I'm not in love with her."

So what's the difference?

He's been seeing two girls, one is steady and stable, earns a good income, and is head over heels for him--when he is sick, she makes the chicken soup. 

Then there is this other girl, foreign, cool accent, good-looking, intelligent, has similar interests, but no serious income--however, there is some serious hots there. 

What do you do?

Girl #1 or #2.

Who's the better bet--Ms. I love her or Gal I'm in love with her?

One women said that years ago, mothers would tell their daughters, "If they bring home a paycheck and look better than a baboon, marry them!"

Back then, marriages were often arranged by the parents or the village elders ("Matchmaker matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch...").

These days, there is much more a sense of the need for compatibility, chemistry, and passion--I can't live without him/her.

Without the mutual respect and passion, it might as well be in the bedroom like, "Let's just get this over with" or something pathetic like that.  

In some ultra religious circles, I've heard some women sadly simply referred to as "baby machines."

Yet on the flip side, I remember hearing this story when I was young about this famous model (it could have been about Bo Derek, but I can't remember for sure), and they interviewed her husband who was known to have married her for her unbelievable gorgeous looks, and they asked him, "What would you do, if she had a terrible car accident, and was horribly disfigured?" And his cold, hard response was, "I would leave her!"

Ok, so looks are skin deep, and passion is important but doesn't replace shared values, genuine commitment, and selfless giving to one another. 

Maybe the answer is it's not 1 or 2, but 1 and 2--we need someone that will make the chicken soup when we are sick, but who we also find hot in the sack. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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August 24, 2015

My Ashley Madison

So Ashley Madison is now a well-known adulterous website, particularly after hackers stole 37 million records on the site participants, and have released that information to the public.

These tens of millions of users seek companionship for loveless or sexless marriages or perhaps are just plain liars and cheaters--who knows? 

But yikes, now everyone knows!

Huffington reports that divorce lawyers are anticipating a deluge of new clients seeking divorces

And BBC reports that two people have already taken their lives in Canada as a result of the release. 

What is incredible as well are the 15,000 people who used their .gov or .mil accounts presumably to hide their infidelity from their spouses, but now are in potentially huge trouble with their government agencies.

I assume that Ashley Madison prided themselves on their discretion in handling their clients accounts, but lo' and behold the discretion is for naught compliments of some very naughty hackers. 

Privacy is becoming a very lonely and meaningless word whether you are faithful or a cheater--it's all open fodder on the net. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 5, 2015

Big Data, Small Moments

There is a definite rhythm to our lives. 

And by analyzing the peak times of Google search terms, we can get a good picture of what it is (as Seth Stephens-Davidowitz notes in the New York Times Sunday Review).

- From starting a new day to taking care of bathroom business, looking for healing, and even goofing off. 

- Midday is some personal time for shopping, travel plans, and a news update. 

- The evening is a nice dinner and maybe some sexual intimacy.

- The night time is scariest with anxiety about health, leading to panic and thoughts of suicide, and easing off with drugs and pornography. 

- As we roll towards the early hours of the next day, we have a philosophical reawakening with contemplation about the meaning of life and our place in it. 

If we can get all this just from some data analytics of Google search terms, can you imagine what else we can learn about the masses and YOU, the individuals that make it up. ;-)

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

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January 25, 2015

Size And Smell

So apparently data mining can be used for all sorts of research...

In the New York Times today, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz tries his hand with google search results to better understand people's feelings about sex. 

Though Stephens-Davidowitz doesn't explain how he gets these google statistics...here are some standouts:

As you might have guessed, the biggest complaint from men--and women--is that they don't get/have enough sex. 

For both (as you might imagine in a primarily--95%--heterosexual world), traditional surveys show that it's about once a week.

However, the author says this is exaggerated (yeah, is it surprising that people exaggerate about this?) and it's actually only about 30 times a year--or once every 12 days.

So there are a lot of search on "sexless" or "won't have sex with me."

Observing that "sex can be quite fun," he questions, "why do we have so little of it?"

And he concludes that it's because we have "enormous anxiety" and insecurity about our bodies and sexuality.

Again, you probably wouldn't need data mining to guess the results, but men's biggest worry is about their penis size, and one of women's most toxic worries--a "strikingly common concern"--is about the smell of their vagina.

For men, they actually google questions about genital size more often than they have questions about any other body part; in fact, more than "about their lungs, liver, feet, ears, nose, throat, and brain combined."

So much for health consciousness versus machismo pride. 

The funny thing is apparently women don't seem to care so much about this with only about 1 search on this topic for every 170 searches that men do on this. 

Surprising to most men, about 40% of the searches women do conduct on this topic is "complaints" that it is too big!

Not that size doesn't matter to women, but for them it's about the size of their breasts and butts--and again, bigger being generally considered better.

In this case, most men seem to agree. 

Another issue men are concerned about is premature ejaculation and how to make the experience last longer.

However, here women seem to be looking for information about half and half on how to make men climax more quickly on one hand, and more slowly on the other. 

Overall, men are from Mars and women from Venus, with lot's of misunderstanding between the sexes.

The conclusion from this big data study...everyone calm down and just try to enjoy each other more.

Amazing the insights we can get from data mining! ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Daniel)
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January 17, 2015

Temptation Or Accusation?

So on the way home from synagogue today, my wife and I are talking about what happened to the renown Harvard constitutional and criminal lawyer, Alan Dershowitz.

He was accused of having repeatedly had sex with an underage woman (while he was married with children and grandchildren).

I explained to my wife not to believe these accusations, that in my mind, Dershowitz was upstanding and completely innocent, and that this could happen to anyone.

And I went on to tell a funny story from a day earlier...

I was at a retirement party for one of my staff who served the country for 51 years.

At the party, I am going around talking with people and helping to make everyone comfortable--until I didn't.

One guy who was a retired manager and had come back to work as a contractor calls me over to his table to introduce me to his wife. 

He's motioning to her and saying how she is his most beloved wife.

And just joking around trying to keep a straight face, I say, "Hmm, she's a lot different than the other woman I see you with every day."

[Yeah, I don't know what came over me (maybe a little to much drink--any drink is too much for this dry mouth).]

His wife, is like, "Ah ha! Some other woman in the office..."

And he's leaning back, waving his hands and mouthing to me, "Shut up Andy!"

He goes, "Okay Andy, you just wait until I meet your wife!"

Then, we all broke out laughing...just Andy being a wise guy again!

So, I said to my wife, you see how easy it is for someone to make a false accusation (and how quickly people can be to think the worst of others).

It really is important to treat people as "innocent until proven guilty."

As for Andy's hijinks...I'm banned from any more parties for the next few weeks. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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December 27, 2014

Something Everyone Cares About

This was a funny Facebook post by someone from Las Vegas.

He bemoans that there are no virgins left in Vegas.

I tell my wife what he said.

And she says, "Well what does he expect in Vegas?"

I say, "I'm not sure, but I think he might be married and has kids."

So my wife says, "Then why does he care?"

I think for a second and answer, "It's someone everyone cares about like global warming."

And we both started to crack up laughing.  

My wife ends the conversation with, "Andy, you are a funny guy!"  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 19, 2014

Score One For Ocean Rescue





Not often that I get to see a real life ocean rescue.

Don't know why this kid almost drowned, but he almost did.

It was interesting to see the various rescue services come to help save him.

The lifeguards went out for him and got him back to shore; the paramedics administrated on scene medical help; and the police kept overall order. 

But I think what really struck me was how uninterested most of the beach goers seemed.

Maybe I am expecting too much, but people just seemed at best curious, but not really concerned.

Yet at Spring Break, I have a feeling the booze, drugs, and sex overshadowed this real life and death event for this young man. 

I know these kids work hard in college and probably need to blow off some steam, but the callousness was still striking.

(Source Photos: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 4, 2014

For The Love Of Animals

I read this incredible story in the Jerusalem Post about Denmark prohibiting Shechita (the Jewish kosher way to slaughter animals for food). 

What is amazing about this is:


1) Shechita is known as one of the most humane ways to slaughter animals for food. It involves a single rapid uninterrupted stroke across the throat with a super sharp knife. One of the reasons this method is used is precisely so that the animal does not feel any pain. This is unlike other common practices for slaughtering animals which include clubbing, electrifying, shooting, suffocation, and more. 


2) Denmark while prohibiting Shechita, permits bestiality/Zoophilia (human sex with animals). So bestiality, a very pagan-like practice, is legal in Denmark, even though it is prohibited under the penalty of death (for the person and the animal) in the Bible


So animal rape is okay in Denmark. And Judeo Christian laws and beliefs are not, especially when they actually protect the animals. Uh, something is rotten in the barn here. Or put another way:


Animals in the bedroom--Oh, no, no, no.

Animals ritually slaughtered for dinner--moo, moo, moo.  ;-)


(Source Photo: here with attribution to Ed Schipul)

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January 24, 2014

Addictions R Us

I was having an really interesting conversation with a friend--okay, and it got a little deep. 

He said something fascinating to me--which is that everyone is addicted to something. 

Think about it--some are addicted to the hard stuff...drugs, alcohol, smoking.

Others are addicted to sex, work, shopping, exercise, even religion. 

In modern times, there are new addictions to technology, gaming, and social media.

My friend is smart and we discussed or alluded to a number of reasons for the addictive nature of all people. 

1) Meaning - Many people have a tough time dealing with the seemingly meaningless, mortal nature of their lives. Without a strong purpose and meaning, we can sort of float through every day looking for some anchor, stability, or rhythm. Addictions, for better or worse, can provide that habit or repetition compulsion. While not very meaningful itself, these addictions help people forget--temporarily, during their high or while they are being kept busy--that they are perhaps lost amidst it all. 

2) Pain - Everyone has pain--emotional, physical, mental--these cause stress on people and their ability to deal or cope can be stretched thin, and they turn to some sort of addiction as a "crutch" to help them get through the day. It reminds me of a very crude song that I overheard years ago, called "F*ck the pain away" (excuse the language here, please). Anyway, simply replace the first word, with "work, shop, drink, and so on and poof, you have opiates (i.e. pain relief) for the masses. 

3) Fear - People are afraid--afraid of living, afraid of dying--and addictions take us away from having the time to stop, think, and have to deal with our fears. If every minute, I am running around doing a million things--then I don't have the time to shut it all down and out, and deal with what's really going on inside. In fact, some people credit the Holy Sabbath day, as being beneficial to us to just stopping all that daily stuff at least for one day a week!

We are all human, and there is no one who is immune to looking for meaning, avoiding pain, and dealing with their fears. 

The question is do we just throw ourselves into something to keep going or do we take more of a Buddhist approach, accept that life is suffering and try to raise ourselves above it through healthy balance, contemplative meditation, compassion and thinking about others, doing good deeds, and so on. 

Keeping busy is good too--but going through life in a drug or otherwise induced fugue is not--then we've lost ourselves, which is maybe the point for our crazy world where addictions abound and we are all too happy to dive right in. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Miles Cave)
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August 6, 2013

PaRTy ANiMaL BeWaRe!

Just thought this was so cute.

Elephant with a jet pack, helmet, and goggles. 

Looks like he's ready for some fun. 

Honestly, though I never understood the incessant party types.

Drinking, smoking, fooling around--basically, getting into trouble.

For a straight Jewish guy from the Bronx, I got enough with regular life stuff to keep me plenty busy.

It's good to let loose a little, but party animal I am not. 

On second thought, what have I been missing all these years. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 31, 2013

Yes, I Mean No


This is a hilarious video of a social experiment.

This girl--a complete stranger--goes up to random guys and asks "Would you have sex with me?"

On the top there is a running counter--thumbs up or down--for how many of these guys say yes or no.

The final count for this girl and the complete strangers is 50-50!

The reactions of the guys who stumble all over themselves ranges from "Are you crazy?" and someone who actually calls the police on her to "Why not?" and "I will definitely have sex with you!" or how about this guy who offered up a middle of the road approach of "Would you like to hang out with us first?"

In a companion video, they reverse the social experiment, and a guy propositions random girls with the same cavalier question.

In 100 cases, he was rejected!

So are women more discriminating?  Are they looking for intimacy while men are looking for a physical hookup? Or are men just driven by their chemistry, evolution, and species preservation to procreate far and wide? 

While the girl chosen for this experiment is undeniably attractive, given the risk of STDs and AIDS and also broken relationships and even families, you still have to ask yourself are men's brains fully wired on right? ;-)
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