Showing posts with label Separate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Separate. Show all posts

July 10, 2019

There is a Place for Border Walls

There is a place for border walls. 

Walls are not bad. 

And neither are all people.

But some people are bad.

And we have the right to be protected from them. 

Walls help to manage the flow. 

Not everyone can just go whatever, whenever, wherever. 

Surely, some people need to move to and fro. 

But we must decide who and when and where. 

Walls define spaces and ownership.

Not every place and thing is everyone's.

People have property rights as do sovereign nations.

Not everything is strictly defined.

There is the commons that we share. 

But also there is a mine and a yours. 

That's how economics functions and how people give and take. 

Walls help separate and secure. 

Bridges help connect and transport. 

They are not mutually exclusive. 

I've never seen a house, company, organization, or government without walls. 

And neither have you. ;-)

(Credit Photo: Michelle Blumenthal)
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January 25, 2018

Messed Up By Norton Clean

So I got this message on my computer that it's time to run Norton Clean.

Oy, what a mistake. 

This tool is not ready for prime time. 

It's supposed to optimize memory and clean up duplicate and residual files.

But in my experience, it swept up more good files than junk files. 

And I ended up having to pull my files back from the trash and manually restore them to their file structure. 

What a pain in the you know what!

Artificial intelligence--not way the I see this utility/tool. 

If you don't pay attention, you can lose a lot of important information. 

Yes, it gives you a chance to review the files, but then what do you really need this cleaning tool to begin with. 

Maybe you have a different experience, I can only speak for myself. 

But a little human intelligence goes a long way to sift through the wheat from the chaff--that's what your files really need anyway. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 27, 2013

Needy And You Know It

Some people are so needy--they are almost like children in adult's clothing, while others are so distant they may as well be living on another planet--they are in there own world. 

The Wall Street Journal (15 July 2013) asks why some people seem to demand so much? 

It explains that there are three types of people:

1) Secure--these people were raised in a consistently caring and responsive manner and they become warm and loving people themselves able to form healthy balanced relationships--where they can be apart from and together with others and function well in both situations.

2) Avoidant/Dismissive--those who are raised in an environment where neediness was not tolerated and was seen as suffocating, and so they learn to minimize closeness to others--they are distant and detached. 

3) Anxious/Needy--People raised in an inconsistent environment, where they got mixed messages about nurturing, and they end up constantly feeling insecure and needy, like they will get drawn in and then rejected again, so they smother other people with their neediness and don't recognize and respect appropriate boundaries. 

This third personality type, who is always needy and ends up pushing away other people, who feel suffocated, reminds me of a funny scene in Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" where a couple visit the therapist, who asks each of them how often they have sex? The man says, "Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week." But then the woman when asked the same question says, "Constantly. I'd say three times a week." 

Just like people can't really change their basic sexual needs (men apparently wanting physical intimacy more often then women), so too people can't change the home life they were raised in--good, bad or indifferent. 

Whether people are needy and clingy, aloof and dismissive, or plays between hot and cold, we need to figure out how to care about and love them for whoever they are. 

Boundaries are key. Taking some personal space is healthy. Together time and intimacy is critical. 

It's all about finding a balance--where each person has the time and space to be who they are, and then come back to a warm and caring relationship to share, rejuvenate, and laugh and cry together. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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