Anyone Have A Question About This Car?

Yeah, all I can say...

Anyone have a question about this car?

I am pretty sure this car is owned by Matthew Lesko, "The Question Mark Guy."

Lesko was in a number of commercials and infomercials about asking him how to get free information and grant money from the government. 

He dresses and drives in question marks, and I've seen him a number of times around town. Frankly, it's sort of hard to miss this guy!

His self promotion sort of makes you wonder, if you had to choose just one symbol to wear everywhere to represent you to the world--it could be a punctuation mark or anything else--what would that look like?  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Anyone Have A Question About This Car?

Pet Rock 2018

So when I saw this colored rock last evening, it made me think two things:

One, cool idea, looks nice and fun to make.

Two, it reminded me of the Pet Rocks in the 1970s that made millions (this one was hippie even though those back then weren't actually even colored).

A business guy came up with the idea to sell smooth rocks from Mexico beach and market them as pets.

Yeah, they are so lovable and easy to care for!

It was one of the great branding and marketing events of the 20th century.

Who would think people would actually spend money on a plain dumb rock that you could basically pick up off the street?

But incredibly, putting the rock in a box with holes (so the rock could breath) and sitting it on a little stack of hay with an joke of instruction book for caring for your rock, SOLD. 

And in fact, over 1,500,000 rocks were sold at a pop of $4 each.

The guy became a millionaire and got rid of a truckload of worthless rocks.

Yes, "One man's garbage is another man's treasure!"

But surely this was getting a little ridiculous.

Hey, I'll give you a nickle for the shinny painted rock in the photo here. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Pet Rock 2018

Dumb Socks

So have you ever gone to the shoe store, but you forgot to wear socks. 

Well, this is what you get to try-on shoes.

These absolutely crappy, thin, brownish wades of disposable nylon socks. 

How completely unappealing--especially piled up like this and looking like they are getting reused again and again. 

The try-on socks look shitty, feel shitty, and don't help you try-on anything, because they aren't the same density or texture as regular socks. 

Talk about penny wise and dollar foolish--if the store won't even invest in a proper pair of socks for their customers, then how much do they value their business? 

How about an intelligent shoe store with a little class that actually has some real pairs of socks for their customers, and when you're done they send them out to the cleaners or maybe even let you keep the pair if you buy the shoes!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Dumb Socks

Valentine's Day Fashion Wow!

Now, how perfect is this guy's suit?

I can't imagine who would make such a thing, but WOW!

This guy is a walking Mr. Charming. 

Forget the sales job in the jewelry store, I would put him right on the "The Bachelor" season whatever. 

Who isn't going to fall in love with this guy?  

"Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match.
Find me a find.
Catch me a catch."

Love wins over hate...

Happy Valentine's Day!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Valentine's Day Fashion Wow!

It's Just Bling

So sitting in synagogue today, my friend Jacob said something very interesting to me.

He was talking about some very wealthy people with multi-millions and even billions. 

And then he says, you know what the difference is between the rich and everyone else:

"Nothing!"

I asked him what he meant by this.

Then he starts listing off to me like this:

"Well, they live in a home, and you live in a home.
They drive a car, and you drive a car.
They eat food and you eat food."

And it was amazing how smart his words were, and it hit me how right he was. 

It's all sort of just in our minds.

Their homes are bigger and nicer; their cars are more luxurious and fancier; their food is better and tastier...but what difference is any of that really.

We both have a roof over our heads to protect us from the elements and a nice place to sleep. 

We both have a car that gets us from here to there and back again. 

We both have food and drink to fill our bellies and nourish us. 

Isn't the rest just a bunch of bling?

It's branding and marketing and the sense of luxury that some are better and have more than others. 

But beyond the essentials, we really don't need any of that!

What we do need is our relationships--people we care about and love and who love us. 

The ability to have a deep impact on others. 

To influence them and make a difference in their lives--in what they do and how they treat others. 

The ability to help people and society. 

The bling is just bling. 

The ability to love and influence that is true wealth. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

It's Just Bling

Beautiful Summer Fruit

Wow, how beautiful an array of colorful summer fruit. 

Saw this at Balducci's (classy store). 

Watermelon, cantalope, pineapple, and mango.

Sliced and all nicely packaged up together ready to eat.

Looks yum!

Amazing what G-d creates. 

And he bestows on man the ability to put the finishing touches. 

Thank you Oh L-rd, who gives us the delicious and beautiful fruit of the tree.

Yes, it's an unusual blog for Tisha B'Av--maybe I'm craving the food. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Beautiful Summer Fruit

REI Stupid Coupons

REI had a special online. 

You order $100 or more of stuff, and you get a $20 "member bonus" card. 

That sounded good, so I placed an order. 

So I get a message that I'll have the bonus card within 48 hours or I should check my spam folder. 

Not sure what should take 48 hours, but I end up getting the email with the $20 code the same day. 

Thinking I'd go and get something for the freebie, I head to the store today and find something perfectly for $20!

Wow--that's cool.

I wait on this long line with my wife...and we're checking out this new popcorn on the line called Halfpops, which looks like Half Poop, and what's the other half?  

After having lousy experiences with these B.S. coupons in the past, we are joking back and forth how there is less than a 50% chance that the coupon actually works today and we end up walking out with the product.

Sure enough, we get to the register and the cashier says, 

"Sorry. The coupon is not good for another 2 weeks!"

Bingo.  Well why they heck did you send me the coupon now and not make it good for another 2 weeks--why waste everyone's time here?

Also, what difference is it to REI to make me wait 2 weeks to use the member reward--I'm in the store now, so if they want to cross-sell me some stuff what difference does another couple of weeks make. 

You'd think the customer service at REI would say, "we apologize for the inconvenience" and process it now to make it a positive experience, but instead they actually told me to come back in 2 weeks and start all over AGAIN. 

Gee, thanks REI for the member bonus reward...you've really done so well with customer service for your members, NOT!  

I think REI is blinded by stupid policies and corporate bullsh*t so that they cannot take care of their customers and do what makes common sense. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

REI Stupid Coupons

Getting To Yes

I thought this was a good and important customer service principle:

"Don't make me go through NO
To get to YES."

When it comes to customer service, the default for reasonable requests from good customers should always be YES!

We can either make the experience miserable for the customer and leave them fuming, never coming back, and bad-mouthing us or we can make it fair, easy, accommodating, and a WOW experience!

Why not build your customer base and reputation for excellence rather than erode it? 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Getting To Yes

Shock Value Gets The Ball Rolling

There is definitely something to be said for shock value. 

When you do or say something that is S~H~O~C~K~I~N~G.

And it jolts the other person out of their daily stupor so that they really take notice. 

It's hard to stand out in a global population of over 7.2 billion people and counting. 

Everyone wants to be special, unique, have an impact, and make a difference. 

It's our answer (partially) for why we are here and why it matters.

Our life is a journey and it can be a log slog if we don't have a purpose and meaning in it all. 

We look to the One Above for guidance, meaning, love, and protection.

But we also have to look at ourselves in the mirror...what are we doing with our lives. 

Shock value doesn't mean real value...it's just the initial jolt to get noticed...like that purple and green spiked hair or those sparkly shoes you adorned. 

So you have to take the initial jolt and make it into deep impact--by touching not just a cord, but the nerves that run through. 

In Florida, there was a funny sign along the highway with that shock value that said something like this:

"Your Wife Is Hot So Call {X} To Fix Your A/C!"

What did you say about my wife? 

You know you're right, I do need to invest in better air conditioning! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Shock Value Gets The Ball Rolling

Winning Attitude

I met this lady at the shopping outlets a few weeks ago. 

One of the awesome brand stores was running a sale with 70% off!

Check, check--not a gimmick--we race over with the crowd already forming lined up outside the doors. 

This salesperson was there to guide just a few people in at a time--I guess, so the mob wouldn't rip the joint to sale shreds!

This lady (pictured) had something awesome about her.

Working part time in retail, I'd imagine that it's not the job's salary and benefits that is perking her up or "getting her out of bed in the morning." 

Yet, she had the most unbelievably great attitude. 

She stopped to talk with us and tell us about her background studying and living in Israel during the year, and that she had a twin sister working in the same store for the Summer. 

Her energy and enthusiasm was inspirational and I would imagine could even be contagious to many who let themselves revel in it rather than resist it. 

As people waited on the line, this women offered them her umbrella to stay dry and cool. 

Waiting on line is not the most fun thing, even when it's for a 70% off sale, but this lady kept everyone smiling and sort of stress free with frequent updates and walking and talking up/down the line.

Listen, we all know people who do the same or similar jobs: one is grouchy, sullen, and is for all intensive purposes miserable all or most of the time; the other is generally smiling and happy to be there learning and contributing, and have the job.

What a difference between these 2 types of people!

And what a enormous contrast between the positive and negative impacts they have on others and on the organization. 

It's not just what you say and do, but how you go about doing it. 

Yes, we all have various challenges and problems in our lives, but how do you deal with it.

This doesn't mean you should be a phony baloney head--you need to be genuine and real to be credible and a high-functioning human being--and of course, everyone has bad days. 

But an overall winning attitude goes a long way in life and towards success--for yourself and how you can influence others. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Winning Attitude

The Cloud Pays Off

So for those of you who thought the cloud only pays if your a consumer of technology who is looking for scalability and flexible pricing models, think again. 

Bloomberg has an interesting article on how Adobe is growing their revenue by billions switching their apps to to the cloud. 

Instead of customers paying a one time purchase price for Creative Suite or Acrobat, now customers must pay for Creative Cloud or Document Cloud subscription fees that may sound small in the beginning, but really add up over time. 

And more than that, Adobe doesn't have to worry about wowing customers with the next upgrade in order to get them to make another purchase, because as long as their products are competitive, the customers will keep paying their subscriptions fees money month after money month.

What's better than making a sale to a customer?  Selling to them in a cloud subscription model that keeps paying and paying and paying. 

No wonder it's better to have your head and technology in the cloud--it's a true rainmaker! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

The Cloud Pays Off

Going Bonkers For Pink

So is this the power of sexuality or branding?

1. Head first for the lingerie sale

2. Picking out pink for that special someone.

3. Forgetting to pay the meter.

All three of these made us laugh. 

People are a combination of spiritual and physical beings. 

Sometimes the physical takes over and that's when the problems start happening!  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Going Bonkers For Pink

Sexuality Sells Sometimes

So this was the entranceway to a store in Florida. 

As you can see, the center mannequin is set up sitting in not a very modest way for a lady. 

And worse, there is a little boy mannequin situated right next to her. 

It was funny to see people stop to look at this fake sexual scene.

But no amount of sexuality could sell the junk that the store was pushing. 

So strutting your stuff or showing a little skin--or in this case hard plastic--may get the customer's attention or even in the store.

However, it certainly doesn't close the deal, although something else here would be better off shut or as my mother-in-law says, "close your yap!" ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Sexuality Sells Sometimes

Survey The Performance

So I was in the Apple store recently and made a purchase to upgrade some technology.

Afterwards, I got an email asking:

"How was your experience with Beverly?

When I opened this my wife saw this and was like, "What the heck is that?!"

We should be surveying the work performance and not the experience with the person.

I can't imagine that super smart Apple didn't see this sort of double entendre about sweet Beverly.

All Apple needed to do was add in the word(s) at the top, shopping and/or at Apple, as in "How was your shopping experience with Beverly at Apple? (rather than burying it in the subtext later)"

But then their customer satisfaction survey maybe wouldn't get as much attention.

Sexualizing the customer experience shouldn't be part of marketing, unless maybe your purposely visiting a shady part of town for unscrupulous reasons. 

Anyway, I did respond that Beverly was a definite 5!

Thank you for the wonderful technology Apple and for the experience with Beverly--it was great! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

Survey The Performance

Versioning Gone Wild

So software versioning is supposed to be a way to manage change control. 

However, many vendors have gone out of control with versioning. 

1) Incompatibility--It isn't backward compatible, so if you try to work with an older version file/data, you may be sh*t of out of luck getting it to work. 

2) Alphabet-Numerical Soup--We have so many versions of the same/similar thing, we can make your head spin with buyer envy. 

3) Functionally Indistinct--Version changes are so minute or insignificant that there is virtually no difference to the end-user, but you'll love it anyway. 

4) Long And Meaningless--Some versions just seem to go on and on into the weeds...like version 2.10.3.97--ah, let's compare that to the new version of the week of 2.10.3.98, and don't forget the 2.10.4 will be a completely different platform, so you better remember to order the right one. 

5) Upgrade Pathless--You want to be on the current version, well your version is so legacy and ancient, there's no (easy) upgrade path--you have to install 26 patches, hot fixes, and 9 new versions and then you'll be on the right one!

6) Maintaining Multiple Versions--You'll need to maintain multiple versions of the same product, because your data on the older version can't be migrated to the new one. Can anyone say multiple maintenance fees?

7) Out Of Support--Your older version that you spent a lot of money on is no longer current  and is now out of support--so scr*w you unless you pay us again for the next money maker version. 

If you want to kill your brand and possibly your customers' sanity, keep on going mindless version crazy. ;-)

(Source Graphic: Andy Blumenthal)

Versioning Gone Wild

A Winning Letter

So everyone with management responsibility whether in business or government gets their share of sales calls. 

People are competing to get their "foot in the door" and at the same time not get the "door in the face" to do business and of course make money--it's called capitalism and "it's the American way!"

Most of the time, managers don't have time to respond to all the calls they get. 

But this week, I received the most brilliant introductory letter from a 26-year old in technology services. 

I think it's important to share from this, because it's really the best I ever received from anyone looking to make a contact. 

First, the letter is handwritten, which right away made it more personal and so got my attention in the first place to even read it. 

Second, the person mentions some things that they know and like about me--demonstrating that they did their homework and was also subtly ingratiating about it, but not seemingly in a b.s. or over the top way.

Third, the person shows flexibility to any venue to get an opportunity to touch base (along with a sense of humor throughout), "over lunch, coffee, water, a warm glass of milk, etc."

Fourth, the specifics of what he's looking for..."I want to ensure I stay ahead of the curve. I am thinking you can provide some great knowledge." Elaborating later in his letter, he says, "what keeps you up at night, what will keep you up tomorrow and how will you overcome it."

Fifth, he tries to make it a win-win for a meeting and says what he can bring to the table..."Well, I can tell funny stories from my weekend, my budget to buy a Tesla one day or my engagements with other gov't agencies. You pick!"

Sixth, he provides a form of disclosure with a sense of trustworthiness saying, "I am in sales. However that is not my objective with you so I promise not to sell sh*t."  

Seventh, he works to connect to me personally again by referencing a funny blog I wrote about ties, and he says, "I promise not to wear a tie--I hate them too."

Eighth, he frames this cold call as completely casual, offering again to "steal some time...[or] if not I understand."

Ninth, leaving it open to get back with him, he writes, "Feel free to email, call, tweet, or carrier pigeon me."

Tenth, he wishes me well, "Take care Andy", and he signs it and includes his business card. 

My reaction is that this is either a young and brilliant salesperson seeking legitimately to network, learn, and make some possible future opportunity inroads unknown.  

OR

Of course, if I think more from a operational security (OpSec) and security awareness training perspective, I could be concerned about some smart "social engineering" going on here, but that wasn't the feeling I got from this. 

My gut thinks this is one highly motivated and intelligent young man creatively getting into his profession, and I must say, it was impressively done. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Winning Letter

A Pushy B*tch/B*stard

I remember the funny commercials of the vacuum cleaner salesman, who when he didn't get anywhere with his pushy verbal sales tactics, he would put his foot in the door as the homeowner was trying to close the door on him.

However, pushy doesn't just get your foot crushed in the door, but typically backfires as a means of convincing anyone of anything. 

If someone says no, as a recent sexual abuse poster said, then the answer is no--an unwanted advance is not wanted, period--get it?

You can't push yourself into bed with someone non-consensually, and you can't successfully push a product or service or idea unto others who just really aren't sold--eventually they will push it right back in your hostile, pushy face. 

It's one thing to make a sound argument if/when another person is willing to hear you out, and it's another to push, push, push, and just not take a hint--not interested!

On the show, The Last Kingdom, this past week, the English priest was trying to convince the violent Danish Viking to convert to Christianity--the priest thought that it was working as he continued to work the Viking over, until suddenly, the viking stands up and thrusts a sword through the priest.

Pushiness over!

If you can make a poignant argument for something and influence things for the better by all means try, but if you are just going to act the pushy b*tch, then be ready for the fallout from a non-receptive and eventually hostile audience. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

A Pushy B*tch/B*stard

That's Good Cookin'

This was a funny picture when we were out west. 

This guy is standing on the corner dancing around in his apron and chef's hat. 

He's also got a big fat fake mustache on top of his real one and big round glasses/googles on his face. 

He is working hard to attract people to come into his restaurant. 

This "chef" calls over to us jumping around--doing anything to get our attention. 

So we had already eaten lunch, but he did get us to stop and say hello--this picture captures the moment. ;-)

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

That's Good Cookin'

B&N Chairs Are The Pits

So if you ever go to Barnes and Nobles, you'll see that they have the most horribly hard wooden chairs. 

They are so  uncomfortable--many people seem to rather sprawl out on the floor to browse the magazines and books, rather then get a butt bender in those darn chairs. 

Some other people that I've seen now have resorted to placing cushy stuffed animals on the chairs to ease the discomfit on the arse!

I took this picture of someone's chair by the window with 2 stuffed animals left over after what must've been a much needed cushion liner on the the bare wood. 

[BTW, sorry for whoever buys those sat on, smelled on stuffed animals afterwards--ew!]

The question is why invite people in to browse and sit--if you are only going to make them so uncomfortable.

Ok, I get the implicit message, "You can read for a few minutes, but otherwise buy something or get the h*ck out!"

And not that they are wrong (they aren't), but why resort to making people physically uncomfortable and forcing them to leave instead of making everything welcoming and encouraging shopping and sales.

Barnes and Nobles--a nice place to visit for 20 minutes as long as you have some stuffed animals for your butt--but Amazon will reign bookstore supreme. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

B&N Chairs Are The Pits

"Shitty" Advertising

Florida is a beautiful, but sometimes a strange place.

I stop in a restaurant to use the restroom.

Now, I know sometimes people put art inside to sort of spiffy the place up.

But in this (semi-fancy) restaurant's restroom, there was actually advertising--yes, right where you do your thing.

And in one spot, they had this sign from Insite Advertising, Inc. for the bathroom advertisements.

"...Thank you for allowing us to spend this time alone with you. We understand that during your hectic day quiet moments are few and far between..."

Well, this was one alone time that was definitely interrupted and a little less quiet.

Isn't there any place we can go anymore without being bombarded by branding, marketing, advertising, selling, and companies trying to make a another quick buck.

Darn, leave us alone and give us our bathrooms back--I'm not buying from you at a time like this! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

"Shitty" Advertising