January 19, 2019
Stone Faces Hide The Heart
They go around with a stone face.
No emotion seems to seep in or out.
The face doesn't betray the heart in any way.
You say something or do something, and they just sort of stare at you.
No words, no outward response.
Just a stone face like a poker face.
You don't know what's behind it.
But worse yet is a heart of stone--nothing impacts the inside just like the outside.
Are some people this way because they have been so hurt in the past that they become hardened like a turtle's shell to protect from the outside world.
...Ain't gonna let nothing hurt me again.
Or are they great at using their poker face to fool, manipulate, and get what they are after.
Perhaps the worst possibility is that they are simply a real psychopath--someone without conscience or empathy.
Yes, that is scary because the unthinkable becomes thinkable.
For most of us, reading verbal and non-verbal cues is critical to understanding other people.
Hiding those cues can mean that the stone face is going to shatter someone's world and that won't be a pretty face at all. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
December 9, 2018
The Dark Side
Antisocial Personality Disorder is where people exhibit three primary symptoms:
1) Narcissism - Excessive focus on oneself.
2) Machiavellianism - Manipulating others for one's own gain.
3) Psychopathy - Overall disregard for others, including impaired empathy and remorse
Together, these 3 traits make up "The Dark Triad" or perhaps they come across as being from the dark side, because of how badly they can treat others.
Studies have shown that these three traits are positively correlated with one another, and that more than 10% of the population has these.
In reading a little more online at WebMD, I learned that the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath is that while they share similar traits, a psychopath typically acts as if they have no conscience, while a sociopath acts with a weak conscience.
"At worst, they're cold, calculating killers," while at the less extreme, they may be okay with hurting others to get what they want.
- Moreover, while "psychopaths are more cold-hearted and calculating," sociopaths are "hot-headed" and "act without thinking how others will be affected."
Another study found that people with these traits often "experienced low-quality or irregular parental care." Thus a harsh or unstable childhood may cause these symptoms.
Whether these people come from the dark side, are going to the dark side, or just are scary and hurtful, it is important to be able to recognize who you may be dealing with.
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
The Dark Side
August 25, 2017
Ever Feel Like You're Target Practice
The knives get sharpened and readied.
At some point, they come flying out of nowhere.
Often, from all directions at the same time.
When it rains, it pours.
Some people latch on to the opportunity to try and make a kill.
You do your best to duck this way and that and survive the onslaught.
Hopefully, you were adequately prepared.
The big question is--can you hold unto your cheese?
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Ever Feel Like You're Target Practice
January 9, 2014
Watch Out For Organizational Psychopaths
The knives are flying and you're the target--where's the next one going, the heart of head?
Harvard Business Review has a telling blog about bosses at work that are borderline psychopaths.
Hard to spot because of their "chameleon-like qualities," they are:
- "Self-serving"--basically they have what I call the selfish disorder, they want power, money, and status but don't really care about the organization, mission or people, just themselves!
- "Manipulative personalities"--they hide their agendas, but work over others with charm, favors, even pretend friendship to get what they want.
- Domineering--corporate psychopaths are bullies, who assert themselves over others; they are insecure and endlessly competitive and abuse the people that work for them rather than recognize and reward them.
- Win-lose---they play corporate gamesmanship, appearing collegial enough, but really are always trying to get one up on their colleagues, staff, and even their bosses.
-"Unburdened by the pangs of conscience"--they don't care what it takes to get what they want for themselves: they will lie, cheat, steal, and try to get rid of the competition (even if that is everyone that works for them or around them).
Estimates are that "perhaps 3.9% of corporate professionals" have these psychopathic tendencies--With all the crazies out there, that seems on the low side. What do you think?
Thank G-d, however, that there are some good bosses out there--seek those people out who act like mensches, who elevate others and do not treat them like the enemy within--those people are true gems. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
Watch Out For Organizational Psychopaths
September 3, 2011
Weeding Out The Servant-Leader From The Psychopath
Weeding Out The Servant-Leader From The Psychopath
August 29, 2007
Psychopaths and Enterprise Architecture
In the book Snakes in Suits - When Psychopaths Go To Work by Babiak & Hare the authors identify these ill-intentioned people in the organization and why the organization tolerates them or is fooled by them.
"Psychopaths manipulate the system - they are selfish care only about themselves with little regard for fairness or equity. They allow the responsibility of leadership and the perks of power to override their moral sense. Some have embraced the mantra that greed is good and that success at any cost to others is justifiable and even desirable. And at the extreme some of these people have a true personality disorder rooted in lying, manipulation, deceit, egocentricity, callousness, and other potentially destructive traits."
As enterprise architects, we need to be continually on the lookout for what's best for the enterprise and not get sidetracked by those with ulterior motives or personal agendas.
Have you ever experienced a situation like this?
Psychopaths and Enterprise Architecture