Showing posts with label Decency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Decency. Show all posts

March 29, 2018

Light Drives Out Darkness

In the words of the great Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"Darkness can't drive out darkness.
Only Light can do that."
There is so much darkness in certain people. 

So full of hate, violence, and corruption. 

They use and abuse others for their selfish aims. 

Only faith and giving can drive out selfishness!

The other day at work, I briefly stopped over to help a colleague with something (I thought it was pretty minor, honestly). 

The next thing I know, another colleague who observed me, leaves--literally--a gold star on my desk. 

I had to laugh to myself--isn't this what we do with kids. 

And then I thought to myself--Wow! People at any age can be recognized for just being decent human beings with one another.

Rather than just recognize the latest work accomplishments, isn't it truly something to recognize helping others. 

Being good people is the essence of what life is all about. 

I'm glad that there are still people in the world that know this. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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March 27, 2018

The Good Eggs

So I've learned it's not all about the money and the title. 

What is the most important is being around good, decent people.

I've always heard that your relationships are most important.

But it's not just relationships, it's also who you are relating to. 

There are good eggs, and there are not such good eggs. 

Don't get fooled by what's on the eggshell--that is certainly no yolk. 

Most of eggs know who and what they are. 

Some eggs like to scramble the others. 

Some eggs like to poach on the others. 

Some eggs like to crack the others' shells. 

But then there are other eggs that like it over easy with the other eggs. 

They all want to get the meal cooked and have it tasty and nutritious, but some eggs just don't know how to treat others eggs with decency, respect, and integrity.

It's best to be around those eggcelent eggs, and that is where the best happens and the good eggs gravitate to. 

Be careful what eggs you associate with, because there is nothing that smells worse than a rotten egg. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 15, 2017

Better A Mensch Than Money

Here is a lesson that I learned when it comes to love...

Better a mensch than all the money in the world.

Some people think that money is their Golden Calf.

They literally and practically worship it.

They are so greedy for it, hoard it, protect it, and believe in the power of it.

But what I say is you can choke on all the money!

Those who put the emphasis on money are sick and empty with materialism that means nothing in the end.

Better the love of a good, decent human being and best friend than all the money in China.

For money you can buy lots of meaningless things, but with a mensch you can have a potential for a life of real togetherness and even a chance at some soulful bliss.


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

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March 6, 2017

Respect The Disabled

So coming home tonight on the Metro train... 

People were switching trains in downtown D.C. 

Getting off from one train and going up the escalator to catch another. 

Every night people literally race up the escalator to catch their next ride. 

Some pushing their way on past the laggards. 

Others yelling for the people in front to "move it!"

Tonight, there was someone riding up the escalator on a wheelchair and holding unto to both sides to keep the chair from tipping over or literally rolling down backwards. 

(Usually the people in wheelchairs take the elevator and this was the first time I saw someone on the escalator riding it like this.)

So while I was expecting the people to start acting up on the escalator, running for the train on the platform.  

Instead, when they got to the wheelchair, they stopped and silently rode up with deep respect for the person holding himself steady.

There wasn't a peep or a shove. 

I could see people missing their train, but they were thankful for their health and respectful of the man in the wheelchair. 

Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised and proud that there is still some human decency out there and that is cause for hope. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 28, 2015

When Your Pants Are Down

Yesterday in the news was how a drone was used to fly over and take pictures at a nude beach

So at a nude beach, even those that advertise privacy protections, let's face it your walking around in the buff. But still, the use of the drone with a camera was a violation of people's expectations not to be photographed and by those outside the facility.


And about a week earlier, a five year old finds a camera phone in the lady's bathroom in a Starbucks


Yesteday, I had a similar lesson about people's warped sensibilities or perversions (but without the drone or smartphone--this was the low tech version). 


I'm at the pool for a swim after work. 


There are 2 locker rooms for men and women, of course.


But at one point, I see this LADY get out of the pool and head straight for the MEN'S locker room--she actually proceeds to go in one side--through and past the bathrooms, showers, sauna, and lockers--and out the other side to exit the facility. 


So trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, when I get out of the pool, thinking maybe the locker room wasn't clearly marked, I check it--and there is a big sign with a picture (the symbol for men) and you couldn't miss it!


Also, this lady was clearly not new as she gestured a friendly hello to the lifeguard, and she wasn't the slightest bit confused (she had actually made some small talk with me in the pool)   


When she left, as she headed into the men's room, she didn't hesitate, knock on the door or anything, and obviously didn't care whether anyone was in there--dressed or naked.


Perhaps, because the men's locker room is closer to the exit, she was just taking a shortcut--for her, how convenient!


Then again maybe she was a true perv and this was her way of getting some cheap thrills regardless of other people's right to privacy and safety, including those of children. 


In a sense, this is more than just about generalized privacy (such as with information), but even extends to your very privates!


We live in an age when it is a balancing act between sharing and privacy, between openness and modesty, and between doing what's right and pure self-gratification. 


Unfortunately, to put in bluntly, some people just don't seem to give a sh*t about respect for other people's decency or rights, and they will do what they want regardless of the social balancing act or the necessity to use common sense good judgement in public and private.  


The lesson is that when your pants are down, as creepy as it sounds, it's best to assume that someone is always looking or at least may be on the prowl, so be careful out there. ;-)


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 4, 2015

L@@king The Other Way

So recovering from surgery and with my cane in hand the last number of weeks, I've had a chance to see the worst and best of people. 

Especially on the Metro, I've had people who quite simply refused to let me sit down--can you say look the other way or ignorance is bliss?

One guy the other day saw me holding on to the overhead rail with one hand and the cane in the other, he looked me in the eye, and then looked back down again to work on whatever notes he was writing...certainly more important. 

And even early on a couple of times (this was when it was still hard to really stand up for long) when I asked for one of the special access seats from completely healthy people sitting there, I usually got the stone cold kvetchy faces like "You talking to me?"

At other times, waiting to get on the Metro, I've had people rush in front of me, try to push me aside, or even nearly trample me when they felt I just wasn't moving my limp leg fast enough. 

I think this has been particularly disheartening especially when I see this behavior coming from people of different faiths who were clearly observant at least in other ways...uh, don't we answer to an even higher authority?

When some empathic folks at work recently asked me, how people were treating me on the Metro (yes, they know how it is!), I said feeling frustrated one day that the only difference between DC and NY is that in NY there was probably a greater chance of someone trying to actually push me (G-d forbid) in front of an oncoming train--yeah, at times it seriously felt that way. 

I will say that thank G-d not everyone is such a you know what!

Although truly it's been the exception and not the rule, there have been some very nice people that did offer me a seat, let me go first, or didn't rush me on/off the moving escalator. 

One lady in particular was extraordinarily wonderful, and when I was crossing a very wide two-way street with lots of cars and the light was getting ready to change, she walked by my side--literally shielding me from the oncoming traffic, and she said "Don't worry, they won't hit both of us!"

I remember learning in yeshiva some very basics of human decency...get up before the aged, remove an obstacle from before a blind person, and to take off a heavy burden from even your enemy's stumbling animal.

I think these and other lessons in school and at home sensitized me to people's pain and suffering and where possible to try and help--not that I am a saint, I'm not, but at least I feel my conscience talks to me.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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June 21, 2015

My Dad, My Hero

I can't just call or visit my dad to wish him a happy Father's Day.

My dad is in heaven. 

But I am thinking about him, missing him, and wishing all the things I want to tell him but no longer can.

I'm sorry dad for not listening better and arguing so much. 

Your lessons were not wasted on me, I remember them all!

The most important you taught me to serve G-d and do good no matter what the situation--that is with me every day.

And I know with your grandchildren too. 

You are my hero--I believe that G-d watched over you your whole life because of what a good decent human being and servant to him you always were. 

Dad, if you can hear me in Heaven, I love you and miss you and Mom dearly. 

I hope if you can see me and the family, you are proud.

That is what I always wanted. 

When you said it later in life, I almost couldn't believe it. 

But I know in my heart, you are and and have been my biggest advocate. 

Thank you for everything--everyday--you never flinched no matter how much or inconvenient it was.

May G-d reward you and Mom in heaven and shower you in his eternal light, love, and goodness. 

You son, 

Andy

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 12, 2015

Live To Live or Live To Die?

In The New York Times today, David Brooks presents “two sets of virtues, the resume virtue and the eulogy virtue.”

The resume virtues are the skills you need to get ahead in the marketplace, and the eulogy virtues are “whether you were kind, brave, honest, or faithful.”


While we'd like to believe that most feel that being a decent human being is more important than how much money we earn, unfortunately our education and economic systems are geared far more toward the latter, where it's widely acknowledged that "money makes the world go round!”


In fact, many will often sacrifice the moral high ground for landing on a bigger, cushier hill of worldly possessions and pleasures. 


Interestingly enough, my daughter asked me last week, whether it is better to personally live a happy life but die with a horrible reputation or to live selflessly, struggling with life challenges, but be revered after you die?


To me the answer was simple--live, learn, and grow regardless of momentary personal happiness. Do what’s right, period--honor and chivalry is alive and well. 


But my daughter told me that over 90% of people polled chose their happiness in life as their #1 goal.


I suppose it's easy to say what's the point of leaving a legacy if you were not happy living your life every day, but I would counter with what's the point in chasing life's daily pleasures, if you were a bum and everyone knows it?


The point isn't even what people say about us when we are alive or dead, but rather that we know that we tried our best to live as decent, ethical human beings and that hopefully, we left the world a better place than when we got here.


Sure, there is no blessing in being poor or unhappy--but living purely to satisfy one's voracious materialistic appetite is just being a selfish little pig--come on admit it!


On your deathbed, will you wish you that in your life you had more money and status or that you had been a better, more giving human being? 


I say forget the resume and the eulogy, just think about what will really gives you peace of mind and inner happiness and it's more than any amount of money can buy or any seduction you can imagine.  ;-)


(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)

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February 15, 2015

A Story Of Modesty

There was an very interesting article in the New York Times last month called "The Orthodox Sex Guru" that examined the life of Bat Sheva Marcus, an Orthodox Jewish Sex Counselor.

Yes, you can be a religious person, but also be sexual!


In Judaism, sex is not only a physical act of procreation, but also of love and intimacy between two people within the larger framework of personal spirituality and G-dliness in the home.


Judaism teaches that sexual relations is a holy act and a "blessing, a union full of Shekinah, of G-d's light." In this holiness, husband and wife, as true soulmates and beloveds, live each one for the other, and always together with Hashem.


Part of this special relationship entails women maintaining a spiritual modesty by physically covering up their femininity and behaving with propriety, especially in mixed company. 


Of course, men need to behave with sexual rectitude as well (although just not as often--just kidding).


The article describes however that with extreme chastity perhaps, some people may become constrained in their sexuality and develop almost a type of "sexual aversion," rather than healthfully being able to experience the natural joy of love that G-d provided for us. 


In terms of proper modesty, there is a beautiful story recounted, as follows: 


One time, when the Jews were being persecuted by the Cossacks, there was a Jewish girl that was to be "roped to a horse and dragged through the streets" to death.  


But before the verdict was to be executed, "she manages to pin or sew her skirt to her lower legs, stitching fabric to flesh," so that she could maintain her modesty even under these unbelievably tortuous conditions. 


It is an amazing story to think how someone about to face such a cruel and horrible edict could still think about maintaining their modesty and dignity in the face of such horror.


Whether you cover yourself with a tichel (headscarf), a sheitel (wig) or everyday hat, dress modestly, and act with decency, the point is to remember that we are G-d's children and are to behave in a manner befitting soulful beings, and not mere animals. 


We can experience the love and joy between people, and do it with devotion for each other and in spiritual connection to the Almighty. ;-)


(Source Photo: Minna Blumenthal)

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January 23, 2015

Denouncing Anti-Semitism



Heroic remarks from NYC Councilman Greenfield after pro-Palestinian activists protested the commemoration of 1.1 million people murdered in Auschwitz concentration camp in the Holocaust. 

Calling a spade-a-spade...anti-semitism is once again alive and well due to acceptance and even promotion of anti-Semitism/Zionism, and unfortunately, it some cases, it seems like it's coming from the top-down!

The words and actions are fanning anti-Semitic terror attacks around the globe and even setting the stage for a regional war in the Middle East. 

What a shame that we need to remind some of the First Amendment of the Constitution that guarantees freedom of religion, whatever your practices. 

Protestant pastor, Martin Niemoller, famously said:

"First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out 
because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me."

I believe, I know, that there are many true decent human beings and real leaders out there that will speak out against the very ugly head of blind hatred and bigotry in this world. 

May G-d show mercy on all his creatures and instill love, tolerance, and genuine respect for all races, colors, and religions. 
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November 4, 2014

100 Times Harassed!


After my last blog on stopping sexual assault, a colleague brought this other video to my attention.

32 million views and 120 thousand comments and counting. 

This young lady walks around the streets of New York for 10 hours in jeans and a t-shirt and is verbally harassed a 100 times--not including winks and whistles. 


Women (and men) should not have to live in fear, shame, or be abused doing nothing but living their lives peacefully and respectfully. 

Darn, can the folks out there show some respect and decency.

This could be your mother, wife, sister, or daughter...think about it.

Video sponsored by IHollaback
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October 8, 2014

"Shitty" Advertising

Florida is a beautiful, but sometimes a strange place.

I stop in a restaurant to use the restroom.

Now, I know sometimes people put art inside to sort of spiffy the place up.

But in this (semi-fancy) restaurant's restroom, there was actually advertising--yes, right where you do your thing.

And in one spot, they had this sign from Insite Advertising, Inc. for the bathroom advertisements.

"...Thank you for allowing us to spend this time alone with you. We understand that during your hectic day quiet moments are few and far between..."

Well, this was one alone time that was definitely interrupted and a little less quiet.

Isn't there any place we can go anymore without being bombarded by branding, marketing, advertising, selling, and companies trying to make a another quick buck.

Darn, leave us alone and give us our bathrooms back--I'm not buying from you at a time like this! ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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September 4, 2013

What Will Do You For Cake?

I remember a joke the guys use to tell back in college...about how you can't have you Kate and Edith too.

Cake and eat it too...get it? 

Here is a link to my article in Public CIO Magazine called "How Hungry Are You?"

It's about how some people will literally sacrifice their souls for success, while others put their humanity and decency above it. 

Hope you enjoy!

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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January 16, 2013

Jumping Jean Saves The Day

Metro
This was beyond my belief this evening--it is a true story!

As I was getting off the train, my iPhone slipped out of the OtterBox clip on my belt and fell...but it didn't just fall down, it fell at the precise moment that I was disembarking the train and it fell perfectly vertically right between the small space between the train and the platform. 

I couldn't believe it--I don't think I could drop it through that way myself even if I tried. 

Sure enough the phone is laying in the rock bed on the tracks. 

As the train pulled out, I was sure it was a goner, but apparently it survived not only the fall, but also the train running over it as it lay there.

A woman next to me, saw the whole thing unfold and she says to me after the train pulls out--"if you're going to get it, you better hurry up and do it now!"

I must've looked completely astonished when she said that as I peered over to the signage that said the next train was arriving in literally 1 minute!

I looked around for someone from the Metro to help, but no one was there. 

Out of nowhere, a young man rushes forward and says, "I can get it" and before I know it--he jumps into the tracks with the train approaching.

He did it so fast, picked up the smartphone, and jumped back out onto the platform, all in the nick of time--I've never seen anything like it--it was completely amazing. 

I was in disbelief that anyone would do something so crazy as to jump in front of an oncoming train to get a dropped phone that didn't even belong to them--simply to help a fellow human being. 

I tried to help grab him onto the platform, shook his hand, thanked him profusely, and offered him a reward--he refused to even take that. 

On the train we sat together, and he told me about how he came from Cameroon where he had little opportunity and was working two jobs here, including helping seniors and working at McDonalds. He told me how he liked to help people--and that was more than evident to everyone who witnessed this. 

In the end, the iPhone was still working and Jean strengthened my faith in good people still out there. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal from a prior Metro ride)

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August 17, 2012

Let The Handicapped In

We can build "the bomb" and sequence human DNA, but we still are challenged in caring for and accommodating the handicapped. 

Some of the major legislative protections to the disabled are afforded under:

-  The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 that prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability in federal programs, and 


-  The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990, which covers things like employment, public programs (state and local) and transportation, public accommodations (housing) and commercial facilities, and telecommunications. 


Despite these protections, our world still remains a harsh place for many disabled people--and we see it with older facilities that have not been retrofitted, broken elevators in the Metro, managers being obstinate to providing reasonable accommodations, and people not getting up from seats designated or not, for the disabled.  

In yet more extreme cases, some people can show their worst and be just plain cruel toward the disabled:

On the Metro recently, there was a near fight between two young male passengers squeezing onto the train; when one tried walking away, deeper into the belly of the car, the other guy pursues him, and literally jumped over a guy in a wheelchair--hitting him with his shoe in the back of his head.  

On yet another occasion, also on the Metro, there was a wheelchair with it's back to the train doors (I think he couldn't turn around because of the crowding). A couple gets on the train, apparently coming from the airport, and puts their luggage behind the wheelchair.  At the next station or so, when the wheelchair tries to back out to get off the train, the couple refuses to move their luggage out of the way. The guy in wheelchair really had guts and pushed his chair over and past the luggage, so he could get off.

To me these stories demonstrate just an inkling of not only the harsh reality that handicapped face out there, but also the shameful way people still act to them. 

Today, the Wall Street Journal (17 August 2012) had an editorial by Mr. Fay Vincent, a former CEO for Columbia Pictures and commissioner of Major League Baseball, and he wrote an impassioned piece about how difficult it has been for him to get around in a wheelchair in everywhere from bathrooms at prominent men's clubs, through narrow front office doors at a medical facility for x-rays, and even having to navigate "tight 90-degree turns" at an orthopedic hospital! 

Vincent writes: "Even well-intentioned legislation cannot specify what is needed to accomodate those of us who are made to feel subhuman by unintentional failures to provide suitable facilities."

Mr. Vincent seems almost too kind and understanding here as he goes on to describe a hotel shower/bath that was too difficult for him to "climb into or out" and when he asked the CEO of a major hotel chain why there wasn't better accommodation for the disabled, the reply was "there are not many people like you visiting the top-level hotels, so it does not make business sense to cater to the handicapped."

Wow--read that last piece again about not making business sense catering to the handicapped--is this really only about dollar and cents or can decency and compassion play any role here? 

Yes, as Mr. Vincent points out, "modern medicine is keeping us all older for longer," and many more people will require these basic and humane accommodations for getting around, bathing, going to the toilet, and more.  Let's make this a national, no a global priority--every one deserves these basic dignities. 

I am not clear on the loopholes, exemptions, deficiencies in guidelines, or insufficiencies of enforcement that are enabling people to still be so callous, cruel, and just plain stupid, but it time to change not only what's written on paper, but to change people's hearts too. 

(Source Photo: here)

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June 2, 2012

Which Five Do You Keep?

So my father used to teach me that the Ten Commandments were divided with the first five being between man and G-d (e.g. "thou shalt not take the name of the L-rd, thy G-d, in vain") and the second five being between man and man (e.g. "thou shalt not Kill").  
Note: The fifth one of "Honor they mother and father" is viewed as between man and G-d, since we honor our parents as partners with G-d in our creation and upbringing. 

My father said well that some people keep the first five and some the second, but very few keep both sets. 

I am aware of many examples of this from the "religious" Rabbis and Priests who sickeningly molest children to "unreligious" people who give charitably and do good deeds to others in countless of ways. 

I do not know why most people cannot be both faithful to G-d and good to other people--are these somehow mutually exclusive in people's minds? Is it somehow blasphemous to both worship G-d and genuinely respect and care for our fellow humans? 

Perhaps, some think that if they are close to G-d, then other people are sort of besides the point, while others believe that if they act kindly to their fellow "man", then they will be considered righteous in G-d's eyes anyway.

The funny thing is that both--the ones that follow the laws having to do with G-d and those having to do with other people--seem to think that they are the "truly" righteous ones.  

Today, I saw a an event that reminded me of this whole lesson and spiritual question, as follows:

A car pulls up in front of the house of worship and in the driving lane, just stops and double parks, even though, right there--and even closer yet to the house of worship--is an empty oversized space to just pull into. 

The driver gets out and his wife gets out on the other side.  

The car behind him beeps to let them know they are waiting to pass. 
 
The man throws his hand up in a gesture of "too bad" and proceeds to escort his wife into the house of worship--all the while leaving his car blocking the driveway and the car behind him. 

After about 5 minutes, the first driver finally comes back to move his car.  

The second driver--of the car that has been waiting--goes up to driver of the first car and asks why he just left his car in the driving lane and didn't even bother to pull over.

The first driver says that his wife can't walk well and he wanted to escort her into the house of worship, and so the other car could wait until he returned. 

The second driver is startled by this and says "but you saw I was behind you waiting and wanted to get in with my family to pray as well--why couldn't you either circle back around or pull into the empty spot right there at the entrance?"

The first driver says, "well, you were the only other car behind me."

By this time the second driver is clearly annoyed and says, "but I am a human being too!" 

He continues clearly amazed at the callousness of the first and says, "how is it that you go to the house of worship, but you don't care about another human being--how can you be so selfish?

The first driver raises his hand and flips it again indicating that he just didn't care --going full circle to how this event began when he first stopped his car--and then he simply says as a matter of fact and sort of sarcastically "good day" and just walks away. 

What an encounter with the first driver on his way to worship G-d, yet completely callous to his fellow human being waiting to do the same--he was following the first five commandments, but brushing aside the second five.  

I wish for the day that people could embrace both sets of commandments! So that faith and decency could coexist, rather than battle in the hearts and soul of humans. 

What a better world it could be...

(Source photo: here)

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