Showing posts with label Castle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Castle. Show all posts

January 1, 2016

Homesick or Heresick

It's funny, my dad used to tell a joke about not being homesick, but being heresick (wherever that "here" may be for somebody--they just want to get out of there)

Recently, at work though, I have found there are many people that don't want to go home at the end of the day--and it's not because they always still have so much work to do (although sometimes certainly they do). 

Yesterday, I asked someone at work--on New Years eve--what they were still doing there late in the day.

Someone with a fairly new baby at home, jokingly winced at me, and said something about it sometimes being better to stay a little later at work, because when he/she gets home, they start all over again with the spouse and kid(s)--like so many of us. 

It's strange to me, because I love and value home. 

And it's like the old rhetorical question about do you work to live or live to work. 

Just yesterday, in the Wall Street Journal, there was a book review about someone who opined about how home is where the heart is--and in anthropological terms--it's always been that way!

Home is our sanctuary, for ourselves and our beloved family, it is where we are "king of the castle," and where we do everything from shelter, comfort, reproduce, share, and generally love and care for each other. 

Yet, back to work, many people these days don't want to go home to crying babies and dirty diapers, nagging spouses and the evening fights, encroachment on private spaces, and errands galore (it's a 2nd job almost)--cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, and bills--or even just plain loneliness there. 

So people hang out at work--they schmooze, they snack, they Internet, they may go to workout, or they dilly and dally--just so they don't have to go home. 

As someone recently said to me, "It's quiet. I like it there. Nobody bothers me there."

They are homesick--not missing and yearning to be home, but some almost to the point of sick at the thought of going home. 

Work or anywhere else then becomes a refuge from the home that home is supposed to be. 

Sometimes it's just a temporary thing at home, sometimes it's more ongoing or permanent.

Everyone has a different home--for everyone it should be a true home. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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September 20, 2015

Violation of Home and Person

So I took this photo of a newscast recently about women being followed into their homes and attacked. 

What can be more frightening and violating?

A home is one's castle and sanctuary--that is where we go for shelter, safety, and unconditional love. 

When the the home space is violated, then fear and panic ensue as all bets are off to what can happen to everything one loves and holds dear.

Think of basically any scene where the ancient city walls are being broached by a marauding army, and you'll immediately see men, women, and children running and screaming, but alas the city burns and the people are doomed at the hand of their invaders. 

Similarly, when people are followed or suffer a home invasion--their privacy and security is violated to the core--and they easily become victims of theft, rape, and assault. 

I remember when growing up in New York how one local neighborhood kid was followed home one day by a gang, and they started beating him in front of his home until some neighbors came and chased the attackers away. 

But it didn't end there, because this kid was vulnerable for months afterward, not knowing if and when the attackers would return for more. 

It's like when people threaten someone and say, "I know where you live!"

That puts the fear of G-d into people, because it's not only themselves, but their home and family at mortal risk--and not knowing when or how it may happen...people can just piss their pants. 

The opposite is true as well, people tend to be big shots and aggressive when they feel they are anonymous--when their faces are covered by masks, and they have no identifiable insignias--you don't know who they are or where they are from. 

With anonymity, people feel they can do what they want without fear of reprisal. 

But someone who can be identified, they better behave themselves, because they can be found afterwards and "made to pay" for the bad things they did. 

Ultimately, peace comes from having both safety in the home and the serenity of mind that comes with not having to look over your shoulder all the time. 

Everyone should be able to feel safe in their homes and neighborhood, and the attacker be caught, killed, or damned. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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February 20, 2015

Learning To Compromise

My wife and I decided after living in the same condo for the last 15 years that maybe it was time for a change. 

There is a great area that we hang out in with workout, grocery, pharmacy, public transportation, and--most importantly to my wife--Starbucks--all right there.

So my wife made an appointment for us to look at this rental right above all the action....

The apartment was nice, modern, and best of all in this vibrant neighborhood--but on the smallish side (we would definitely be cramped) and with a substantial monthly. 

My wife, the perennial city dweller, loved it, and I didn't.

Next, my turn up, we went with a real estate broker to see a charm of a house--this was the one we'd "been waiting for," all these years. 

Solid, roomy, castle-like...but it would have some ongoing house maintenance things and was a little distance from public transportation (i.e. we'd mostly have to drive). 

This time, my wife hated it, and I loved it.

Back and forth--argue and debate--getting no where (this is a very egalitarian relationship--my wife tells me what to do!) :-)

Thinking about this, I say "Okay, let's compromise"--let's look for a more upscale and roomy condo that we can make our own but in the neighborhood she really likes (and yeah, I like it too). 

1-2-3, with a little searching, we find something online we like, and back to the real estate broker to make an appointment. 

This story is not over in terms of where (or if) we are going to move to, but along the way we continue to learn as a couple to get along, love each other, and of course, compromise. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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