Showing posts with label Beliefs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beliefs. Show all posts

November 15, 2018

Listen, Empathize, Give A Little

A colleague was talking to me about negotiating and working with others:

He said something I liked: 

Listen, empathize, and give a little. 

Yes, we each have our beliefs and positions on things.

But we don't live in a vacuum.

Other people have their own views, sensitivities, and wants. 

We have to get along so we can work together, and get things done. 

It starts by listening--not just hearing, but really listening to what the other person is saying. 

But that's not really enough. 

To really understand the other person, we have to try to empathize with what they are feeling--we need to try to walk in their shoes even if just for a moment. 

But that also isn't enough. 

We can't have it all our way--we need to give a little to get a little. 

No one can have everything and have a good relationship like that. 

We need to compromise--as long as it's not on things of integrity, conviction, or G-d. 

Everything else we have to listen, empathize, and give a little.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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March 11, 2017

Purim Prayer

Tonight is Purim and it's a holiday of joy and celebration. 

It commemorates when the Jews where saved from Destruction by the Persian Empire and the evil Haman as told in the Megillah Esther.

So on Purim, we dress up and make fun and it this vein of humor that I post this sign about religions of the world. 

- Taoism:  Sh*t happens.

- Buddhism: If sh*t happens, it really isn't sh*t.

- Hinduism: This sh*t has happened before.

- Islam: If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah. 

- Catholicism: Sh*t happens because you deserve it.

- Protestantism: Work harder or sh*t will happen.

- Judaism: Why does this sh*t always happen to us?

It's funny how each religion of the world has a perspective on life. 

Are we all so really different?  

Maybe we have more in common than not.

The hope and prayer is that the true evil Hamans out there utterly perish, and that for all good and decent people--whatever your religion and perspective in this world--may we all get along as loving brothers and sisters, and let there be true peace for all of us! ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to RamblingsDC)
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December 1, 2016

Love The Flags

So while we were in Florida, we went into one of the many art galleries. 

And on the wall was this painting of the Israeli Flag with the Star of David and inside was a beautiful red heart. 

Out of curiosity, I inquired how much this was and the lady says, "Oh, that is $55,000!"

While we were impressed with the painting of the Israeli flag and what it represents as one of America's greatest allies and friends, we must've looked really puzzled at the price, because the lady goes, "Well, of course it's worth it!  It's by Peter Max, the most famous artist in the world."

My wife and I nodded and left the store, and immediately were asking each other why every gallery says with a straight face that the artist that they represent is the "most famous in the world."

Anyway, at the same time this was going on we were following in the news about the controversy with people burning the American flag and the question of whether this is just an expression of free speech or something more that should be prohibited as disrespectful and unpatriotic or even traitorous to the country. 

In that respect, the flag that represents our values, beliefs, and patriotism is valuable beyond pure artistic sense or money, it is who we are and what we love. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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July 23, 2015

Taking The Spin Off Things

Ok, so here is what I learned over the years about communication...

Question everything, believe nothing (except in G-d).

It's not just that a lot of people out there are full of sh*t--yes, that is true too. 

But also that many powerful people are experts at manipulation and spin. 

Take just some recent some examples:

- We didn't just give America and Israel-hating "suicidal, apocalypse-seeking" Iran a clear path to the bomb and in just half a generations' time (along with hundreds of billions to continue funding global terror and a lifting of the weapons and ballistic missile embargo), instead we have a "comprehensive long term deal with Iran that will prevent it from obtaining a nuclear weapon."

- With the hackers who not only showed how to take wireless control of a moving Jeep Cherokee, but also released information on how to do it, they didn't put another tool in the toolkit of the cyber attackers and terrorists out there, instead "they are bringing atttention to an issue auto makers have for too long ignored."

Could go on and on to issue after issue...

The point is that from a young age we are primed to respect, listen, and automatically believe figures of authority and experts--when our parents, teachers, spiritual leaders or a policeman or fireman says something, we naturally believe them, who they are, and in them. 

This is what politicians and executives and other people in power prey on--that we will believe them over everyone else or any other facts to the contrary. They have the title, the uniform, the badge, or whatever, and so they must be good, honest, and trustworthy.

However, good parents and teachers make sure to tell children not just to take people or what they say at face value. For example, if someone comes to the door and says they are delivering a package, don't just open the door.  Look through the peephole, ask for identification, or have them come with a neighbor, etc. 

I remember in the very first movie of "Death Wish" with Charles Bronson, where his wife and daughter answer the door expecting a simple delivery from the supermarket that they were just at and instead they get a brutal gang that murders the wife and rapes the daughter. 

Similarly, in cases where women get pulled over, attacked, and raped by someone with flashing lights, siren, and even a fake uniform/badge--even as you believe you are obeying the law, others are taking advantage and fooling you.

As comforting as our beliefs are and perhaps even that we just want to believe--things often are not as they appear or what we want or expect them to be--what goes on behind the scenes and the spin that comes out in front are designed to intoxicate the masses. ;-)

(Source Photo: here with attribution to Kristian Niemi)
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February 13, 2014

Who Do You Want To Be?

Walking through the halls of one of the local schools, there was this awesome display of cutout hands. 

Each hand, done by a student, was supposed to represent who they wanted to be as people. 

In the center of each was a core saying/belief of the student written on the palm.

And then on each of the five fingers was their personal aspirations:

Emotionally
Physically
Socially
Intellectually
Spiritually

I thought this was a really cool assignment to think and focus on where we're going with our lives and what our personal goals are. 

Like a mini-personal architecture, these hands are the hands of our young people who have their lives ahead of them and the energy and opportunity to shape their futures. 

No, none of us has control over the future, but we can do our part to shape who we are as human beings, as this student says: 

"I am who I want to be."

Of course, we have to choose wisely, work hard, and go for it! 

We never know if there are any true second chances.  ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 19, 2013

Women, Not Things

In the context of the brutal raping and murder last year of a 23-year old women on a bus to the disgusting rape of a 5-year girl more recently in India, the Wall Street Journal (17 May 2013) has an article on "To Wed Your Rapist, or Not: Indian Women on Trial."

It is an eye-opening article about the prejudices and horrible injustices that women face in India and other countries--and it's not only due to the misogyny of some, and power- and pleasure-seeking of others, but it is based also on justices, lawyers, law enforcement, legislators, and spiritual figures in society that perpetuate the oppression of woman. 

Some societies are stacking the deck, so women cannot reasonably win due protection--from legislators who do not write and pass substantive and equitable laws to protect women, to law enforcement that will not commit the resources to pursue the rapists and women beaters, to lawyers and judges that raise ridiculous demands for proving guilt and sentencing, and to spiritual leaders that blame the victim rather than hold the perpetrators to task. 

These people who are supposed to bring justice to the victims, instead add insult to injury. Some of these include:

- Ruling against rape victims because they didn't successfully fight back. For example, a "lower court ruled that she was lying citing among other things the fact that she could have scratched the man's genitals, but didn't."

- Professing that victims are at fault for causing the rape, such as by wearing skirts, having male friends (i.e. "asking for it"), or otherwise dressing or behaving immodestly. At the extreme, one prominent spiritual figure actually held that the victim could've avoided trouble if she had "chanted a prayer, taken one of her attackers by the hand, and called him 'brother'"--as if one can convince an attacker not to attack by holding their hands and gushing brotherhood.

- Teaching that rape is not possible for strong women or those of a labor caste. A 2005 textbook stated, "In normal circumstances, it is not possible for a single man to hold sexual intercourse with a healthy adult female in full possession of her senses against her will." Oh, really? I doubt these teachers would like to test this hypothesis on their beloved mothers, sisters, wives, or daughters.

In Indian and other societies where women are so degraded, there is a standing notion of a rape victim having to marry their rapist--to make things right. Yet, how can this resolve anything? As if the incident of rape is not enough, the victim must endure a lifetime of rape--and by an individual without character or soul, who could commit such a brutal, violent act to begin with. 

Forcing the victim to marry the rapist does not spare a woman the challenge of marrying normally after such an traumatic act, but rather it precludes her from ever having an opportunity to rid herself of the pain and shame, and go on to be with someone who truly loves and respects her as a person, and not an object. 

As long as societies marginalize women through their beliefs, teachings, and systems of injustice, women will not be spared the agonizing harm they suffer by men who abuse their status of power. But as the old saying goes, "what goes around, comes around,"--what is incredible is that so many of these people just see it going, but don't see it coming. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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May 15, 2013

Targeting The Opposition?

As I would imagine most of you felt this week, I was really surprised by news that individuals in the IRS targeted certain political opposition groups. 

I thought to myself what country are we living in?

I couldn't help wondering about disturbing stories from Russia, Iran, and others where political dissidents have been known to be jailed, shot, or otherwise disposed of.

Are we getting to the point (hopefully not) where our government institutions could likewise be used to unfair political advantage?

In the Watergate scandal in 1972, the Republicans broke into the National Democratic Headquarters to install microphones and copy documents unfairly and illegally. 

Forty years later--is this an IRSgate 2012?

Both Democrats and Republicans have their political opinions--and everyone is entitled to believe what they do and feel an affinity to and vote for who they want--or if you don't like either, vote for a 3rd party Independent--this is what makes America great.

We have freedom to believe what we will, to vote as we will, and to do so without interference or undue influence by either side or anyone. 

If we cross the line into intimidation or oppression of those who peacefully choose a different position, then we have lost the best of our national identity and the human rights that we so justly uphold. ;-)

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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April 2, 2013

Decision-Making WIth Perspective, Please.

An article in Fast Company (1 April 2013) by Chip and Dan Heath tells us to use the 10/10/10 rule for making tough decisions.

That is to consider how you will feel about the decision in 10 minutes, in 10 months, and in 10 years--in order to "get some distance on our decisions."

But this doesn't make a lot of sense to me, if you are making a decision, looking at it with 3 future lenses does not provide a lot of additional insight even if they are at various points in the future. 

What makes a lot more sense is to examine the decision based on past, present, and future consideration. 

Past--At home, I learned from my father that when he makes a big decision, he thinks about what his father would've have done in a similar situation. My dad greatly respected his father, and believes that he is a guiding force in his everyday life. It is important to consider what our parents, grandparents, and other people that we respect from our past would do in similar circumstances--this is a social view. For example, would your parents and grandparents be proud of your decision and what it represents for you as a person or would you feel ashamed and guilty, if they found out. This is not to say that you can't express your individuality, but rather that your past is one important guidepost to consider.

Present--In operational law enforcement and defense environment, I learned that you have to respect the decision-maker at the frontline. The details of what is happening or the ground in the here and now can certainly be a decisive factor in both split second decisions, but also those decisions where we have some luxury of contemplation--this is an operational view. Additionally, in making a big decision, we need to be true to ourselves and base the decision on our values and beliefs (i.e. who we are). In contrast, when we make decisions that violate our core beliefs, we usually regret it pretty quickly. 

Future--In Yeshiva, I learned to strongly consider the future in all decision-making. The notion that this world is just a corridor to the future world was a frequent theme. From this religious perspective, what is important in how we live our lives today is not the immediate pleasure we can get, but rather what the future consequences will be on our spirit/soul (i.e. Neshama)--this is a strategic view. One teacher exhorted us to always look at things from the future perspective of our death bed--will you feel you lived your life as a good person and in a fulfilling way or did you just do what felt good or was selfish and fleeting? For example, he said, "No one ever looked back and wish they spent more time working. Instead, they usually regret not spending more time with the family and true friends."

Decision-making is not trivial--you need to consider carefully what you do, with whom, when and how. To do this, looking at 3 points in the future is minimally helpful. Instead, consider your past, present, and future, and you will make better decisions that will enable you to be true to yourself, your family and community, and your very soul. 

(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)
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February 4, 2013

Parking Lot Crazy Car


One man's trash is another man's treasure--funny, interesting, weird, how does it make you feel?

This car, aside from the missing fender, window, and masking tape and cord holding it together, has got a crown of mementos on its hood and roof (aside from the stuff piled in the side and rear seat).

A collage, mosaic--artsy self expression--this car is someone's jewel. 

Almost can't believe that it still runs, but it got to this shopping mall parking lot somehow--and it manages to get its share of attention.

Wondering--is this a hoarder's mentality and does the person's home also look like this too or is this someone's big statement about their values and beliefs? 

Definitely unique, an eye catcher, and a whole different way to think of a Honda. ;-)

(Source photo: me)

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August 23, 2012

Get This Guy Off My Back

This was another odd site around Washington, D.C. today.

A guy carrying around this bust on his back--almost like a backpack. 

I don't know who this figure is, nor what the writing says, but it certainly does seem to make some sort of a statement. 

To me, while we all carry a lot of burdens in our life, I don't think we should be weighed down by anybody or any one of them. 

People can get on us about all sorts of things--work, school, and personal stuff--but we are better of taking it in stride. 

They have their own problems and imperfections--they also are mortal and frail--and in some cases, they are less of a person than we are. 

Whoever they are, don't drag 'em around or let them get you down--hear them out, get their input, and then make up your own mind about things. 

Remember, there are a lot of false beliefs out there, as well as people pushing their own agendas.  

What you think is real, could just be another phony idol to get off your back and out of your life. 

(Source Photo: Dannielle Blumenthal)

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July 30, 2012

Leading the Blind

Waiting for the train this morning--on the platform, there is a blind woman.

The train pulls up, and I help the blind lady to the train door, saying "it's just to the right."

The blind lady gets on and staggers herself over to where the seats usually are right next to the door, but on this model of the train, it is just an empty space. 

She goes across the aisle to the other side to try and sit down, and reaches out with her arm, but ends up touching this other lady's head.

But the other lady is quite comfortable in her seat and doesn't flinch or budge. 

The funny (read sad) thing about this is that there an empty seat on the inside right next to her--but she doesn't move over, nor does she direct the blind lady to the empty seat next to her or anyplace else either.

Actually, the lady sitting all comfy--doesn't say a word--to the contrary, she nudges the blind lady away from her seat. 

The blind lady is left standing there--groping for somewhere to go.

As the train lurches forward--beginning to moving out of the station--the blind lady make a shuffled dash heading for the other side of the train to try to feel for another seat--and she begins to stumble.

I jump up from the other side and having no time, awkwardly just grab for her hand, so she does not fall.

The lady is startled and pulls back, and I explain that I am just trying to help her get safely to a seat.

I end up giving her my seat--it was just easier than trying to guide her to another vacant one, and she sits down.

I was glad that I was able to do something to assist--it was a nice way to start out the week--even if only in a small way. 

But honestly, I also felt upset at the other lady, who so blatantly just disregarded the needs of the handicapped.  

I do not understand the callousness--doesn't she realize that a person with a disability or handicap could be any one of us--even her. 

My mind starting racing about what I had heard from the pulpit about sins of omission and commission, and I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help sort of staring at the lady who was all smug--wondering again and again about who she was, what was she thinking (or not), and basically is that what most people would do.

I watch other people help each other every day, and I've got to believe inside that most people are better than that.

(Source Photo: adapted from here with attribution to Neils Photography)

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December 19, 2011

What Arms and Legs Can't Touch

Unbelievable video of Nick Vujicic coaching people to believe in themselves.

The catch is that Nick himself is missing all four limbs.

Yet he shows how he can--without arms and legs--run, boat, dive, fish, water slide, play soccer, golf, and much more.

I love when he says with conviction:

- "Forget about what you don't have. Be grateful for what you do have."

- Don't be angry at your life and at others.

- You are worthwhile and you are beautiful.

- You have the strength to conquer.

I am inspired--no, I am amazed--by this human being.

Sometimes, like now, when I see such courage and strength, I wonder how people do it!

Life is so challenging even when we have all our limbs and faculties...

I think that G-d must give a special gift to these people so they can inspire others and be role models for us.

So that when times are tough, we can remember them and be elevated to break our own barriers and limitations.


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February 11, 2011

Situational Success--You Will Have Yours

New article in Public CIO Magazine by Andy Blumenthal: Aligning Your Stars: Leadership Success Often Depends on Finding the Right Situation (February 2011)

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

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September 19, 2010

See A Compelling Future and Make It That Way

I really like Tony Robbins and especially his show on NBC "Breakthrough."

Tony Robbins is incredibly motivational, inspirational, and has a vision for a better future for individuals and society.

I liked this piece he did on relationships (but which can be applied more broadly) with the basic message of three lessons that everyone involved in enterprise architecture can certainly appreciate:
  1. "See things as they are, but not worse than they are" -- People make things worse than they are, so they don't have to try ("it takes no guts to be a pessimist").
  2. "See it better than it is; see a compelling future" -- "Today can be tough, but if the future is compelling, we can get there."
  3. "Make it the way we see it" - This last one, in my opinion, is why we're here in life: to improve things, to add value, to leave things better than when you found them.
We all can have a positive impact in this world, in our work, in our relationships.

All we need to do is find our true selves, do something we truly believe in, and commit to it--no excuses, lots of hard work and of course have fun with it!

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September 2, 2009

Are Organizational Values Valuable?

Many organizations have a value statement that identifies what traits are most important to them.

Organizational values are similar to an enterprise architecture in that the organizational values identify a type of target state for organization members to strive for and adhere to.

The purpose of value statements is to guide people’s behaviors, decisions, and interactions.

For example, one police department that I looked up has value statements around the traits of integrity, pride, service, and fairness. A city that I found had value statements for passion for community, integrity in work, and results through collaboration. A non-profit organization had values of leadership, integrity, excellence, and impact.

As you read the value statements they give you a sense of the organization in terms of who they are, or actually more like what they believe in.

But do they really—i.e. are organizational value statements something that people in the organization are aware of, understand, can locate, recite, or summarize, and moreover, are the values actually used to guide behavior?

Or are these value statements written by leadership, human resources, or some strategic planning function in the organization as an ivory tower effort, and then published in the organization’s glossy annual plan and/or on their website, but never really communicated with or adopted by the people in the rank and file?

The question is not posed in order to be cynical, but to genuinely ask: are organizational value statements “true values” or are they more marketing and branding glitz?

With few exceptions, I would challenge most to identify whether their organization even has a value statement, let alone what it is. Moreover, the last time, they thought of and considered the organizational values in making a decision or taking an action.

Then why do organizations have value statements?

Perhaps, organizations intuitively or through management best practices know that they need to have values, because they are genuinely important. Just like as individuals we have personal values (be they religious or otherwise) that “tell” us who we as human being are and guide our behaviors, so too as organizations, we need to identify the values that will be our “moral compass” and define our organizational identity.

The problem though comes when organizational values are developed as a “project”—a time bound task or “to do” for someone or some committee who researched it, developed it, and got approval on it; but not managed as a “program”—an ongoing endeavor and commitment to create awareness, educate, and even enforce the values through performance rewards and recognition.

Moreover, culture and peer pressure are vey powerful forces that drive employee behavior, whether they consciously are aware of it or not. So many values are indeed employed in day-to-day interactions, but they may not be explicit and they may not be the same values that are actually in the organization’s value statement. That is because the informal network and implicit values may actually be more prominent and powerful in driving people’s behaviors that the formal and documented one in the organization.

The key is for leaders to genuinely commit to the values and their use across the organization. The leaders need to provide for the values to be widely communicated (on wall hangings, pocket cards, employee reference guides, Intranet and so on) and they need to be referred to in periodic communications (speeches, announcements, broadcasts, meetings, etc.). They need to be living, breathing values that touch people daily (and obviate the implicit and unsanctioned ones).

Further, leaders need not only talk about the values, but also they need to exemplify them. In other words, leaders need to practice what they preach and lead by example using the values to drive decisions and actions in a way that is transparent to all.

What I learned when I developed user-centric enterprise architecture is that any ivory-tower exercises or development of organizational shelfware is by definition a failure, and therefore we need to treat all of our strategic planning and management functions as a real-world effort.

If we could do that with both EA and organizational values, it would be great to integrate them and use them to drive an explicit target state for both the performance and the business perspectives, as well as a human capital perspective of the architecture.


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October 13, 2008

Brand and The Total CIO

David F. D’Allesandro, the CEO of John Hancock insurance group has a bunch of wonderful books on building brand and career, such as “Brand Warfare”, “Career Warfare” and “Executive Warfare”.

All the books have three things in common. One, they are about the importance of brand. Two, they are about moving ahead in the corporate world. And three, they all end in “warfare.”

Brand is critical for building value. Brand is our reputation. It’s how we are known to others. It’s what people think and say about us. It’s a representation of our values and integrity.

We all know corporate brands such as those from consumer product companies and fashion designers. Those that have a “good” brand, tend to convey a higher status and cost a premium. We trust those brands and many people wear the brand labels as a status symbol.

We all carry a brand. Like a mark of “Grade A” or “Prime Beef” seared on a side of a hide of cattle, a brand is mark of distinction for us.

At work, we are branded as honest or not, fair or not, hard working or not, team players or not and so on and so forth.

As the CIO, it is imperative to have a brand that synthesizes the best of business and technology for the organization.

On one hand, many view the CIO as the technical leader for the organization; the wang-bang guru that leads the enterprise through the often confusing and fast-changing technology landscape. In this role, the CIO can make or break the future of the organization with wise or poor technical decisions that can put the enterprise on the cutting-edge, build competitive advantage, and increase revenue/profits, market share, and customer satisfaction. Or the CIO can lead the organization down a technical sinkhole with failed IT projects that jeopardize mission, alienate customers, drive out good employees out, and waste millions of dollars.

On the other hand, many like to say that the CIO is not and should not be tech-focused, but should be about the business—understanding the business strategy, operations, and requirements and then driving an IT organization that is responsive to it. Taken to an extreme, the CIO may not be required to have a technology background, an IT degree or even a technical certificate. This person may be from the business side of the house and could almost alien to the CIO organization and therefore, may not easily garner the respect of his more technical people.

The true successful CIO melds business and technology together. Their brand is one where business drives technology and where strategy is paramount, but operations is a given! This CIO is someone who can be relied on to make wise technical decisions today that will enhance the strategic success of the organization tomorrow. The CIO is a leader who manages not only upward, but who reaches across the organization to build partnership and understanding; who inspires, motivates, trains, recognizes, and rewards his people; and who conducts outreach and brings in best practices from beyond the strict organizational boundaries. This CIO is loyal, dedicated, hard-working, smart, and has the trust and confidence to get the job done!

So what with the “warfare” part in the books?

Well, unfortunately not everyone wants us to succeed. So, we must work on our brand to build it and make it shine, but at the same time, there are others inside and outside the organization who for various reasons would like to tarnish our brand: perhaps, they are jealous, competitive, nay-sayers, change resistant, oppositional, confrontational, troubled, or just plain crooked.

What D’Allesandro says is that to be successful, what sets us apart, is our ability to build relationship with others, even when it is challenging.

To be a successful CIO, we need a terrific personal brand, but more than that we need to have courage and conviction to stand by our beliefs and the vision and the ability to articulate it to guide and influence others to advance the organization’s long-term business and technical success.
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