So my wife and I have a longstanding disagreement on the best way of teaching children.
TEACH TO CARE - Get the kids to do them for themselves, learn to be independent, by doing they learn to stand on their own two feet, don't baby them, by teaching them to do for themselves you are caring for the kids, if you jump every time they ask then there is no reason for them to try themselves.
CARE TO TEACH - Do for the kids when they are young, by showing them how then they start to learn how to do it for themselves later in life, children need to be shown love and caring so they can learn to one day care for themselves as well as for others, by loving and giving selflessly to children they learn that they are valuable human beings and grow to a healthy maturity.
CARE AND TEACH - We need to show care and love to children, but also need to teach them to do for themselves. We can't smother children nor can we send them out into the world unprepared. Care for them at an early age, show them how, and then give them opportunities to do it for themselves and become full adults.
Like with most things in marriage, and relationships in general, the bringing together of two heads and hearts is better than just one alone. We balance each other, complement each other, and synergize each other--one is alone and deficient, two is together and with G-d making three, it is a whole.
And always tell your wife she was right. ;-)
(Source Photo: Andy Blumenthal)